Hedgehog and Spoons

We are Tineke Noppers and Ferdinand Delcker. We combine illustrations, poems and short stories, mostly about animals we know.

[hedgehogandspoons]

The hunt

A hunter goes into the wood

to shoot some foxes down

but then - who knows the reason why! -

he suddenly began to cry

and went back into town.

Poem by

Ferdinand Delcker

[hedgehogandspoons]

The hunt

A hunter goes into the wood

to shoot some foxes down

but then - who knows the reason why! -

he suddenly began to cry

and went back into town.

Poem by

Ferdinand Delcker

[hedgehogandspoons]

Here is a silkscreen of the beaver I drew for the following poem. Enjoy!

Eleanor the elephant

is for this story relevant,

but Uncle Ock, that silly sod

is not.

So

Eleanor gets up at noon,

neither too early nor to soon

to go to lunch with Fred the fish

they’ll share a beer, and then a dish

of noodle broth and horseradish

but Uncle Ock, that silly sod

will not.

And

when she’s had enough to eat,

Meld-anor gets on her feet

jumps on her bike to race downhill

where she will meet the beaver Bill.

They’ll play a game of hide and seek

in which old Bill is hard to beat

Still, Eli tries and thinks: Maybe

I’ll catch him somewhere in a tree

but Uncle Ock, that silly sod

thinks: not.

It’s very dark, it’s half past ten

when all three friends join up again.

“I put a book here. It is gone!”

says Eleanor. And Fred the fish:

“We have run out of horseradish!”

And Bill the beaver: “Where’s the bike?

I has been taken - stolen! yikes!”

Then they see footprints on the ground,

the forelegs man, the hindlegs cow,

and they deduce that Uncle Ock,

that ir-re-le-vant silly sod

has stolen all their precious goods

and sold them in the neighbourhood.

They cry out shame,

they curse his name,

they call him vile, they call him lame,

but Uncle Ock, that thieving ass

laughs last.

Poem by Ferdinand Delcker

[hedgehogandspoons]

GRANFALLOON

Finally I am bringing you a new entry! It’s about Football and Mr. Spoons wise words of comfort when Hedgehog takes the matter a little too seriously. Inspired by the brilliant writer Kurt Vonnegut, whose book ‘The cat’s cradle’ I can highly recommend. I should say, read it now! Live is to short to miss out on this pleasure. Also you will gain from it a higher knowledge of the granfalloon that is all around us, and then you can impress your friends with the wisdom of this wonderful expression. Enjoy!  

[hedgehogandspoons]

HEDGEHOG’S GRANFALLOON

Hedgehog has found a new passion: football!

Although he has never shown much interest in the game before, as he used to say:    „It is a passion for the common mass wherein they rejoice and feel as one and share common allies. I see no depth in the matter.“

But lately, he has discovered the common creature within himself. He has been looking for a way to connect with the commoners by finding enthusiasm for what brings so many together: the thrill of mastering the ball. He has even written a poem about it:

Hedgehog’s song of football:

The solitude of the ball

the grass, a foot

that breaks the silence

many feet and shouts

a whistle, where does the ball fly?

Rejoice! Cheer with all your might

the clock has struck and brave creatures

have done their plight

The net has shivered and down there lies this round object

which all desire to encounter with the tip

of their foot

Now the battle has been won and besides a sore knee

a tear of loss from the other side

harm is not done to anyone.

Now a new team has risen and will be competing for the Forest Cup: Hedgehogs United.                                                                                           This is just what Hedgehog needed! For he was always undecided which team he should root for.

Even though it is a hot summer day, he wears his HU scarf proudly to cheer for the first match against the Squirrels of Wales.

Tonight is the night of the thrilling match which Hedgehog was rattling on about to Mister Spoons for two whole weeks. Poor Mister Spoons!

He borrows the telly of his neighbor Mr. Stiffles and asks Mr. Spoons over to watch the game. ''Do bring as many chips as you can carry and I will make sure we have a nice supply of beer!'' he tells Mr: Spoons over the phone. ''But we don't drink any beer'', Mr. Spoons replies. ‚'Well, you cannot watch a football game without beer. It's part of the whole culture!''

But alas! The game ends in a tragedy. Only five minutes after the kick-off the ball has to be replaced after an unlucky encounter with one of the Hedgehog United team members' spikes. That was just in front of the goal of the Squirrels of Whales. Now the replacement ball moves towards the wrong direction. And they score! Outside there is cheering from squirrels. Hedgehog takes his third sip of beer, he is slightly tipsy, because he has never had beer before.

Then, after 20 minutes, a squirrel gets carried off for bumping into the back of a HU team member. Since the HU team member no 11 was moving backwards, and thus was held responsible, the Squirrels of Whales get a free shot. It flies right in! Cheering all around. Hedgehog takes a big gulp to drown out his sorrow.

The game continues, and near the end of the first half, Hedgehog United number 7 get's a card for blocking the ball with it's back. Another new ball is brought into the field. A new free shot for the Squirrels of Whales, but this one is successfully blocked by the keeper and hedgehog cries out with new hope for victory. The Hedgehogs now run full steam towards the goal on the other side of the field. Hedgehog holds his breath, but no! The ball gets blocked successfully and travels back into the wrong direction. A whistle is blown and the first half is over. Commercial: Nuts are being praised by the biggest sponsor of Squirrels United. 

Hedgehog opens a new bottle of beer. He is completely drunk now, the hymn of Hedgehog United which he has learned by heart is now being heard in a sad tone, almost crying.

At the first halve of the second round, the Squirrels of Whales make two new goals and three new balls have to be replaced.                                         Presently, the Hedgehog United team are getting a corner shot, but the ball misses by 10 inches. 'I can't watch this any longer'', cries Hedgehog. ''The torture! The agony! The disappointment, I can't bear it! I will have to drink another beer so I can forget.''

Mr.Spoons has had it. ''Don't be absurd', he says, 'it's just a game! You will be sick tomorrow. I won't let you have any more beer.''                               ''Besides, these emotions are not real, it is just one big granfalloon!''                 ''What is a granfalloon?'' Hedgehog asks, drying his tears.  

Mr. Spoons explains.                                                                                             ''A granfalloon is the illusion of a shared fate that creates a deep emotional connection but is completely void and made up. This is how people search to feel connected, and to be meaningful, even though there is no meaning.''  

A granfalloon, a folly

made up a grand jolly -to share

a reason to compare

believing achieving

togetherness, a shell

but notwithstanding emptiness

for illusion

is all there is.

Hedgehog takes of his scarf. It's way too hot!                                                       He gets up making an effort to stay upright. Outside there are cries of celebration, the game has ended.                                                                         ''I am going to cheer with the Squirrels," Hedgehog says. "They played a good match.''  

Tineke Noppers

[hedgehogandspoons]

THE END IS NEAR!

What can we do about the Climate Change? Can we stop it? I think we can, that is if the majority got sensible all off a sudden.. To see what you can do most effectively, please watch this awesome documentary: http://www.cowspiracy.com/  It will change your life! Honestly! 

[hedgehogandspoons]

The Puny polar bear and the apocalypse

I am a puny polar bear,

no larger than a thumb.

The other bears won’t look at me;

they are a little dumb.

They think that size is all that counts,

but time will prove them wrong.

“The big will fall! The small prevail!”

This wisdom stems from fairytales

and ancient Northern songs.

It will come true. The sun beats down.

And this our world must end.

The see devours the icy plains

never to freeze again.

How can they without shelter live,

without a hunting ground?

I’ll see the big ones disappear.

They’ll go without a sound.

There will be burning skies above

an ever-silent sea.

There will be seagulls in the air

and on an ice-cube: me.

Ferdinand Delcker

[hedgehogandspoons]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 

[hedgehogandspoons]

Hedgehogs Enlightenment

Hedgehog meditates and feels enlightened for the first time. But what is reality if not a folly of the mind? 

[hedgehogandspoons]

Hedgehog likes to meditate

from a quarter to seven till a quarter past eight

he sits down in Lotus and closes his eyes

(It is a Buddhist exercise).

He thinks not of evil, he thinks not of good

and - that is the hardest! - not even of food.

Silence and emptiness he wants within -

at the same time he wants not to want anything.

And then it happens. He starts to float!

There's the sound of a bell! Just one heavenly note.

And as he rises, what does he see?

It's Buddha himself with a cup of green tea.

"This must be it! I'm enlightened at last!

I'm touching the void between future and past!

Hello, Mr Buddha! I'm so glad to meet!

But oh! what is that? someone's pulling my feet!"

And zwish! goes the Buddha and zwush! goes the tea

and boom! Hedgehog comes to quite suddenly.

He sees Mr Spoons with a saxophone.

That was the source of that beautiful tone!

"Good morning Hedgehog!" says Mr Spoons.

"I hope you enjoyed waking up with a tune."

"You fool!" Hedgehog cries, "I was not asleep!"

I was meditating, and I got real deep.

In fact, I'm enlightened."

"That was just a dream!"

I heard you snore like a rusty machine."

"I snore not," says Hedgehog. "Do not lie to me.

I saw Buddha himself with a cup of green tea."

"I made some green tea, and breakfast besides.

Plus I made cake and put on it some lights.

Today is your birthday! In case you forgot.

I wish you the best and I like you a lot."

Hedgehog likes to celebrate,

and he thanks Mr Spoons and they feast on the cake

and friends come with presents,

and at quarter to three -

(he was not invited,

but they are delighted!)

there's Buddha himself with a pot of green tea.

Ferdinand Delcker 

[hedgehogandspoons]

The King of Spain

Here is finally our new entry!

This time, I post only sketches to accompany Ferdinand's new short poem.       I wanted to draw the king of Spain, and I do like the idea of a dog posing as a king.

Sadly next to the horrible Bull fighting, Spain has a tradition of abusing the spanish Galgos and Podencos for the cruel hunting praxis. These dogs are especially bred as a trow- away item.  Here you find information on the topic: http://www.galgopodencosupport.org/galgos-podencos/  

[hedgehogandspoons]

The Count speaks

"They treat me like a piece of shit,"

Count Excrement exclaims.

"They should know I am royalty!

You see, I was originally

dropped by the King of Spain."

Ferdinand Delcker

[hedgehogandspoons]

Royal dogs 

[hedgehogandspoons]

The Spider Queen

Spiders might appear cute and harmless from the outside, but beware! for they are plotting evil schemes! 

[hedgehogandspoons]

The spider queen

"They think I'm cute but that's untrue.

I'm cunning and I'm mean.

I am a nightmare on eight legs -

I am the spider queen.

I am the killer in the night,

both wicked and insane.

This forest is the realm of death,

and I'm its evil brain.

It's true - I haven't killed just yet.

I haven't hurt a fly.

In fact the flies think I'm "quite nice,

maybe a little shy."

I am not nice. I bide my time.

I weave my web and wait.

I sooth their minds with sweet bla-bla

until it is too late.

And then I'll strike! The biggest fly,

their mighty king, I'll grab

and with my sting, that poison'd knife,

I'll hurt him really bad

and bind him with my sticky rope

and put him up real high

untill, after much agony,

he'll die.

and I (most evil of all evil beasts)

will feast."

This is the spider’s gruesome scheme,

but it will not succeed.

The fly king she will never catch,

indeed, there's no such thing -

the flies, by nature anarchists,

have never known a king.

Ferdinand Delcker

[hedgehogandspoons]

STONEFISH

This one is for the awesome action group Sea Shepherd, who put in all their efforts to protect the sea and all it's wonderful inhabitants, like this little fish.  

Here is the link to their page: http://www.seashepherd.org/

It was really fun working with aquarelle and color pencil for the first time.

[hedgehogandspoons]

Stonefish

I'm stonefish. I don't talk so much.

That's why my poem's short.

I'm stonefish. I don't do so much.

That's why I'm always bored.

I'm stonefish. I get stoned so much,

lie on the ocean floor

because when I'm severely stoned

I don't feel bored no more.

Ferdinand Delcker