this is not my heart

Grown ass woman.  Currently obsessed with sewing, Bucky Barnes, pepperocini, gender identity, comic books, giant sunglasses, boys in bands, pigtails, ancient history, knee high boots, Chris Evans's inability to properly wear a baseball cap, and mouthy broads.  I, myself, am a mouthy broad.  If you think that makes me an asshole, let me know.  I am an asshole sometimes, but never on purpose, and I'm okay with people calling me on my shit.

[mitchmarner]

“The Teammate That is a Hockey Encyclopedia” 

[brandonsaad]

MTL vs TOR - 04.09.22

[hellkatsally]

“Hey, Sena, what have you been doing for the past four years?”  Developing affection for this fucking infant entirely against my will.  I love my foul-mouthed son.

[hellkatsally]

Huh

I swear to fucking god this blog got purged four years ago.  Like, seriously, one day during the purge I went to log in and Tumblr told me I didn’t have an account anymore and I cried and mourned and moved on.  And now, now I accidentally stumble across it and it’s here and intact and I don’t even know what to do with it anymore.

[spobbs]

“we’ll put the couch cushions on the floor…”

[mysharona1987]

Oh my God. This is exactly what it sounds like, tho.

All that is missing is the outer space background, big yellow letters and ‘A long, long time ago,in a galaxy far, far away…’ 

[getnerdywithme]

[headeyy-deactivated20190602]

when you’re watching something and you realize where the plot is going

[halliewriteshockey]

When you’re writing something and you realize where the plot is going

[lackey-loki-blog]

I stan Ryan Reynolds

[trainthief]

a fun feature of this website that you cant get everywhere else is that you can write a thought out and specific post on a subject you know a lot about, and then someone will add “no no no you dont get it” and then say the exact same thing you did but worse and more condescending. only other place you can access that kind of experience is if youre a woman talking in real life 

[skankqueen420]

Being A Woman Simulator

[dailyavengers]

#serious boy

[nicheappeal]

I keep seeing someone saying “x is self-care” and then a follow-up with “no that just means you’re depressed”

One doesn’t negate the other???? “act like you’re not depressed” is not actually viable life advice??? maybe you only need that form of self-care because you’re depressed that doesn’t make it not self-care!!!

Actually, I’m mostly just tired of “this is how I manage my depression” “YOU SHOULDN’T DO THAT IT MEANS YOU’RE DEPRESSED”

[oraclesofnorway]

Your body is an incredibly bizarre machine.

“What you see is a myosin protein dragging an endorphin along a filament to the inner part of the brain’s parietal cortex which creates happiness. Happiness. You’re looking at happiness.”

[andrewbelami]

Look at her STRUT!!! She is dragging that endorphin for filth and using that filament as her runway, bitch.

[deactivatingrealsoon-deactivate]

6 inch heels…..she walked in the club like nobody’s business…..godam…..she murdered everybody and i was her witness

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fewer bisexuals who are suave and seductive

more bisexuals who are incredibly awkward around their same-sex crushes b/c they were never taught how to flirt in gay

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

post cancelled, i’ve been made aware of the fact that none of you messy bi bitches capable of flirting in straight either

[pixieturtle-deactivated20211018]

You’re completely correct.

[strawbebbiefields]

sam and t'challa strolling around nyc and sam pointing to every stray cat and asking t'challa “do you know him?”

[oops-all-birbs]

T'challa pointing to every single bird and asking Sam “are you related?”

[hulkkink]

sam and scott walking around nyc, sam points to an ant and asks “do you know this one?” and scott replies “yes actually. that’s antwanette.”

[rougeandlipsticks]

[intoasylum]

when someone brings up your celebrity crush in a casual conversation and you have to play it cool

[pope-goodvibes]

middle aged facebook women be like I hope they have WINE in prison because i just ran over 2 kids while on a coke bender

[pope-goodvibes]

MENopause, MENstruation, MANslaughter… all a womans problems start with MEN!!!!!

*pic of minion sipping wine*

[stevenrogered]

it’s almost that time of the year again, so you know what that means

[gaynfl-moved]

[fullmetalfisting]

You know, that’s fair