I Lack The Ability To Read

All pronouns, 23, using mobile, Minors DNI. My favorite fandoms have brainworms and oh man are they in me! We like our art MADE BY MAN, no AI welcome.

[helloicannotread]

The world needs more Flambert fics that include foodplay with melted food. Like Robert puts chocolates on Chad’s shirtless chest and abs and licks it off as it quickly melts. Not that I’m into that or anything, I just think more of that should exist for the sake of character exploration and whatnot.

[helloicannotread]

Robert and Sonar sharing a twink Lady-and-the-Tramp-style and disgustingly making out when they connect in the middle send tweet.

[helloicannotread]

IT HAS BEEN DRAWN! We’re on the same twinkie-frequency. Twinkquency.

Thank you, bucksamuck on Bluesky!

Amuck Amuck (@bucksamuck.bsky.social)

Sharing a romantic meal just like Lady and the Tramp #mechabat

[helloicannotread]

I hateloveHATE becoming obsessing with amazing books without a huge fandom already. I have to do the work! I have to write the fix-it-fics myself! I have to draw low quality doodles of them smooching myself! I am used to feasting like a king, but now I toil away over a hot a stove, just to make a pauper’s supper! The burden of smut rests on my shoulders!

[momgothic]

many such thoughts about the laika-boy trifecta

[dat1angel]

To everyone who watched Iron Lung and Project Hail Mary and immediately hopped on the BloodyMary ship, I have a book recommendation.

The Darkness Outside Us is a queer romance with grumpy x sunshine vibes and a doomed narrative. Two strangers have been thrust into unwitting cooperation on a space mission for the good of the future of humanity, but have they been lied to about what their real mission is?

And its sequel, The Brightness Between Us, continues the story in a pov switching timeline split where we get to witness the real time continuation of the first book interspersed with glimpses into the past of life on earth just after the launch of the mission in book 1. There are some odd occurrences that leave you with questions you're gonna need both timelines to answer.

[blended-ice]

Indirect kiss

[helloicannotread]

Them <3

[helloicannotread]

Spoilers for The Darkness Outside Us, Iron Lung, and Project Hail Mary.

An idea for a 3-way crossover fic that I’m making public so the idea won’t just collect dust in my head because I don’t have time to write this fanfic to give it justice.

Let me cook.

Ok, imagine a BloodyMary x The Darkness Outside Us crossover fanfic where after Simon and Grace are already settled in their biodome on Erid and not keen to be in space again, but Eridian find signs of human life all the way out on an exoplanet, which is Minerva to Ambrose, Kodiak, and whatever kids they have at that point (no I haven’t read the second book). So Rocky, Adrian, and a few other Eridian scientists go to Grace like, “we found signs of human life on nearby exoplanet, need more human information NOW! Should Eridians make contact with new humans, question?”

And Grace is thinking, “There’s no way Earth’s governments send MORE humans after Stratt’s plan, right? What if my work never made it back to Earth and they’re dying? What if Sol started dying faster than expected and they sent more humans out of panic, or was it just the ultra-rich and powerful sending themselves and leaving Earth behind to die? Was all of this for nothing?”

And Simon’s not much help because he spiraling in the thoughts of “There’s no way there are more people, right? Are they survivors from Eden, or COI, or are they from Earth? Are they trying to find us? Are they watching us?” (Depending on what headcanon you have for how Grace met Simon, Simon’s initial reaction to new humans may vary obviously, but I imagine it would be extreme suspicion) For a bit, it feels like both Grace and Simon reverted to their “during trauma” mental states (healing isn’t a linear progress), but they recover as their curiosity, and maybe a little bit of morals, activate and they wanna check these humans out.

Meanwhile on Minerva, Ambrose and Kodiak would’ve been too busy creating lives for themselves, getting used to the air, whatnot. Then Amberose is gardening in the greenhouse, looks outside sees a ship in landing position that’s human-looking enough to make him think it’s a hallucination and maybe there’s a gas leak, but alien-looking enough to snap him back into reality. Kodiak’s practically teleports to his side, disheveled and halfway ready for the morning, “What do we do?! Is this first contact, because if so, why does that ship look like it’s somewhat human made?” And they snap out of it and calm down because while they’re relaxed (on their lil honeymoon!) now, they grew up as soldiers. And they head out together to meet the ship’s inhabitants, not before hiding away any children they have in the bunker they definitely have and arming themselves as much as possible without feeling like they *have* to fight some aliens.

Then 2 humans, actual humans, walk off the ship, followed by 2… rock spiders???

There are so major parallels between Simon and Kodiak, Grace and Ambrose, Ava & Eva Stratt & Ambrose’s mother, the Democrateers vs Federation & COI vs Eden conflicts, and honestly the stories of BloodyMary and The Darkness Outside Us are similar. They’re also kind of like Stucky, but in space.

I hope someone else understands this because The Darkness Outside Us isn’t exactly popular but IT’S SO GOOD. If you like BloodyMary, you WILL like that book and you’ll probably like the audiobook more. Please, this book deserves a fandom.

[helloicannotread]

Robert and Sonar sharing a twink Lady-and-the-Tramp-style and disgustingly making out when they connect in the middle send tweet.

[torchickentacos]

'Just switch to linux', 'Just switch to firefox', 'Just switch to ellipsus', 'Just buy a VPN and pirate it' okay, or- hear me out- tech companies can stop making their products worse, because I shouldn't have to change my entire workflow and spend time and money learning new programs and tools just to have a bearable online experience

[szczurherbacany]

more…

[aziidaa]

had to draw these two ,,, the duo,,,,,

[helloicannotread]

Both my wives in one piece of art; oh, frabjous day!

[helloicannotread]

This is not an AI-friendly blog!❌🤖

Please do not hesitate to tell me, “Hey numb-nuts, you just reposted AI!” I will never be mad at anyone for helping me remember to take a closer look.

Anyway, silly blurb below:

O woe, how ruefully simple it is to twist and pull at the strings of my naive gay heart! How simple it is to fool my green mind; to whisper lies to my ear! O woe is mine, for I have been tricked! I dare not pray that this error is my last, for truth knows this poor unknowing child will yet again be fooled.

[wabart]

inspired by @supermuffin's recent art but no fire no flame (skill issue)

[helloicannotread]

❤️‍🔥💙DISPATCH SPOILER💙❤️‍🔥

it’s not that bad, but still

❤️‍🔥💙DISPATCH SPOILER💙❤️‍🔥

❤️‍🔥💙DISPATCH SPOILER💙❤️‍🔥

❤️‍🔥💙DISPATCH SPOILER💙❤️‍🔥

Ok, here’s the post:

Can’t believe Flambae’s name is Chad. We get a gay Afghan man with a Spanish accent, and it says “Chad Lastname” on his government-issued ID. Only the second biggest prank the Dispatch devs pulled on the queer community.

[omi-papus]

The fact that the protagonists can always be formated as "X and Ragnavaldr" is hilarious to me. Because I love that the cannibal is the most normal, most good of a person out of the four. Hes not a religuous zealot or a scumbag slut or an antisocial sociopath, hes just a guy. Hes big mad and had to do terrible things but like, he hasnt hurt anyone who didnt deserve it. So its like, Jesus freak, fuckass, shadow wizard money gang, and Ragnavaldr. A man whore, a racist, a mad scientist and Ragnavaldr. Puts tea in cold water, boils water in the microwave, puts the mug on the stove, and Ragnavaldr.

[somnen1ya]

flower dance year 1 trauma.

[buglordsupreme]

Gale is husbandcoded. Think about it.

You have the rest of the companions who are hot and you can see yourself fucking and having intense relationships with; and then theres Gale who is the guy you sit down at dinner with to talk about how the tax returns this year werent as high as expected, or how you need to buy more fabric softener.

Like you cant imagine going grocery shopping with Astarion. But with Gale? Its like he belongs in the cereal aisle choosing the most organic brand of breakfast oatmeal.

[lord-ham-deactivated20260112]

“He belongs in the cereal aisle choosing the most organic brand of breakfast oatmeal.”

You g e t it

He was created to be married. He was created to cuddle up to and watch tv with. He was created to yell at kids fondly about running down the stairs. He was created to stress out about tax season with you. He was created to drive a shitty family car with the politest aggressive road rage. He was created-