L

somehow, its mostly dc comics; she/they, 22

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

Patrol lunch break

Dick: Why would you put carbs into carbs tho?

Jason: Oh you're bothered by putting dough into dough but not by your sandwich having 3 slices of bread?

Dick: Even with a third slice of bread, IT'S STILL ITSELF

Damien: I'm amazed by the idea that a sandwich can change it's identity

Tim: And I'm amazed by the idea a sandwich is authentic while all other carbs could be simulacrums of food

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

Bruce asks his kids to give him a kiss on the cheek after shaving.

If the kiss makes a loud sound the shave has passed the inspection. If it doesn't, he shaves again.

[targetedknowledge]

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

As someone who grew up around WW2 vets... Alfred has a very different idea of what bedtime stories are. Bruce doesn't notice until he grows up and shares one of them and is confronted by the terror in the eyes of the listener.

Examples may include:

- There was a bird in a very cold winter. It nearly froze to death in a block of ice. Suddenly a cow comes along and shits on the bird. Happy to be unfrozen, bathing in warm shit, the bird starts to sing. A hawk comes along and eats it. The story has 3 morals: the person shitting on you is not always your enemy, don't sing while you're in deep shit, and the person who takes you out of a pile of shit is not always your friend.

- We had a cow once. I was put in charge of taking care of it. I turn around for a split second and it is gone. The very next day the cow comes home on her own. I have never hated an animal more in my life.

- Any war story. No censorship. Horrors of the trenches, how it feels to have your leg infected and cured when there is no anesthesia around, the happiness of seeing a can of sardines for the first time in months. Anything. Some have happy endings.

- Death. Just pure death. How some people in the Pennyworth family died. Top ten weirdest deaths kind of things. It's never just "they passed peacefully" there's always some affair, suicide, first car or bike in the village, gun etc. involved.

[enki2]

[maybeasunflower]

[sleeperinthetowerofpearl]

what I wouldn't give to see a ballet of Beren and Lúthien ?

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

"Sometimes, having a child is like having a parrot. Other times, it's like having a squirrel."

-Bruce trying to read a book while Dick and Cass are perched on different parts of his armchair

[muzzleguppy]

It’s really upsetting to me that so many Constantine fans ignore his mental health but are so quick to bring up his sexuality. John being Schizophrenic was equally important to his character. Please read into his mental health.

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

I don't know why I have a headcannon that Jason and Tim know latin, but I am 100% certain they do

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

Strated randomlly saying "and, as a bonus action, I enter a rage" in my head, everytime I'm slightly inconvenienced and it has done wonders for my mood

[baddywronglegs]

Are lace-makers ever struck by the realisation that all the holes were already there before they started?

[batbetbitbotbut]

Fanciest lace I've ever made, just need to fill in the edges.

[logo-comics]

Due to the craftsmanship shown in this picture, the emperor has requested that you make all of his clothes out of that exact lace.

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

Yo why is knitting ADDICTIVE??? Its just some yarn and two needles?? They just go through each other so smoothly?? And its your two hands working in a rhythm?? And your eyes get laser focused on that shit and you CANNOT move?? You're just there?? Forever?? Between needle, fingers and yarn??

[charl0ttan]

[doctorslippery]

Monty Python and the Quest for the Ring

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you’re anti censorship and against harassing real people over fictional characters

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

Nothing quite like getting results for one exam while walking into another

[helloiwaspromisedshenanigas]

Kon: You know, I never asked: how did you choose our names?

Louis: All his fault. Both the gender and the names. I could have been a happy woman with two daughters with beautiful names. Instead I married a Nostradamus.

Clark: A few days before you showed up, I told her I think our first is going to be called Conner, Kon, for short and in kryptonian.

Louis: To wich I said it could be a girl. And he said, and I quote: "nuh-uh he'll be a Conner. You'll see." To this day I don't believe he did not find you earlier than he let on.

Kon: And Jon?

Louis: Same story. I said I'm thinking about something long and beautiful if it's a girl. Alexandra. Elizabeth. He says it'll be a John for sure. Two months later, I'm in labour, the baby just pulled out of me, blood everywhere, the village idiot I married turns to me and says: "See, I told you he'll be a John"

Clark: And let me tell you, never have I ever been slapped that hard.