An incomplete list of all the things I love about Midsomer Murders
Troy, the skipper. He’s got the spirit.
Everyone is having sex with everyone else and the whole village knows about
Barnaby, the older chief, is never phased to learn about: affairs, threesomes, husbands consensually recording their wives having trysts, secret lesbian romances, that gay men exist, that gay men mildly flirt with him. Meanwhile, Troy is experiencing the world for the first time
All the murders are a result of: affairs, heredity, money, or a mix of all three. Blackmail is often involved
Barnaby slutting it up whenever he’s in casual wear, his dress shirts unbuttoned to his diaphragm. He does not change this if he’s been called to a scene. Sir, that woman just shot someone by accident, the least you could do is button up one button
Barnaby’s three-piece suits when he’s working. Subpoint: watching two grown, city men run through forests or farms in suits
The men have chest hair
Everyone looks like people. Wrinkles! Old people! Fat people! Weird noses and jaw lines and teeth!
The horniest people are always the older women and they are often sexing it up with younger men, and those men are almost always married
Troy’s inability to drive. Subpoint: Barnaby making fun of Troy’s inability to drive
The character homes! Every one of em. With their doors and strange alcoves and low ceilings
The rich people are usually always assholes, Barnaby never likes them, and they usually befall a fate that isn’t always murder
Everyone busts out the tea sets when they offer Barnaby and Troy a cup
Wells and churches are constantly at play
The only guns used are shotguns and the shooter never misses their marks
Barnaby is a terrible husband, always ditching Joyce, who frankly is too good for him, when he brings her out and about. I phrase it like that because they’re often his plans to go somewhere
The score
The short lists of things in midsomer murders that I have complaints about
I’m on s5 and so far only white people exist in Midsomer (I have been assured this changes in later seasons)
There are so! Many! Names!!! It’s necessary but also if they could do a pop-up video for the first 20 minutes so I can keep track of who is who, I’d appreciate it
