my own meandering experience

Dee • reader • tv watcher • ao3 • ben wyatt voice: it’s about the longing • “right right of course and cannibalism” –Alice • "you do your best devastating work before noon dee" –Lauren • queer • white • millennial • She/Her

[livesbetweenpages]

One-Two Buzz, Again and Again

Buck/Eddie | Buck/OC | E | 18K | Light Angst | Happy Ending | Getting Together | Phone Sex | Proxy Sex | Not Unrequited Love | s8 compliant but Bobby lives

“Get up and come over. I can make lunch, or brunch or whatever. I can make food. I’m thinking eggs and bacon, maybe some home fries.” It’s tempting, not having to figure out what to eat, not having to be the one to make it, getting to watch Eddie’s sure hands at work, getting to watch Eddie move confidently around the kitchen, knowing he doesn't have to make anything perfect, knowing any tease from Buck about his cooking skills wouldn’t really be true, not anymore, wouldn’t really be a complaint from Buck about how he could do better. Buck always thinks he does enough. “Don’ wanna move. Comfy.” It’s half true, how soft and unspooled he’d feels, how he wouldn’t mind staying here, just like this, with Eddie in his ear. It's safe. He can’t mess anything up while he’s tucked in bed, in his new home, just a voice and a listening ear. “C’mon,” and Buck hears the sheets rustle through the speaker, “you can’t just stay in bed all day.” “Course I can. Bed’s nice. Warm. Welcomin’. Always happy to ‘ave me.” He doesn’t register what he says, not until he hears silence on the other end. “That’s not—” “It’s fine, Buck.” It’s not fine. He doesn’t think Eddie thinks it’s fine, but he can’t be sure. He can’t see Eddie’s face or Eddie’s hands and whether they clench the phone tighter before letting go of the jab. That's the problem with the phone, with only having Eddie’s voice in his ear: he doesn’t know the things he's missing.

Or: The last time it was easy to talk to Eddie was when they were on the phone with 800 miles between them. When Eddie is back with Chris in L.A. for good, Buck keeps his relationship with Eddie to the phone, where it's safe, so that he doesn't do anything stupid. Something stupid happens anyway. read on ao3

This is for @vibecheckd, who was willing to pour one out for this in farewell when I thought I'd never be able to finish it, even though she was excited to read it when it was only an idea and a small snippet. And for @the-hwaelweg, who is only reason I kept writing past the angst.

[gaygoatshane]

happy pride

[livesbetweenpages]

One of the things I love about rainbow Rowell books is that even the ex’s or soon-to-be ex’s are likeable, that it justifies why the MC is so heartbroken about the idea of breaking up or the actual breakup, and over the course of the book you realize it’s not because one is the villain and one is the damsel. The relationship didn’t work, not because they didn’t love each other and not because they were horrible to each other, but because sometimes two people want different things and can’t find a way to make a life together without compromising who they are as people.

[catdile]

Hi Apple users, Apple released a fun thing where they take your photos and Siri transcripts and use them to train AI! And they may be automatically turned on without your knowledge, because oh boy they sure were for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Open the “apps” section in your settings (it’s usually at the very bottom), go to photos and scroll until you see “Enhanced Visual Search” and then turn that shit off. Then go to “Privacy and Security”, scroll until you see “Analytics & Improvements”, and turn off “Improve Siri & Dictation” as well.

​I am an artist with hundreds upon hundreds of my artworks in my photo album. I also have plenty of photos with not only my own face, but the faces of my friends and my family. I do not appreciate that being used to train AI without my consent, and I’m pretty sure it’s the same for others too.

I’m so tired of big companies.

[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[hthrrloooo]

Catastrophize Benedictine

[gideonisms]

The thing about a really good ship is I need it to be equal parts sweet and fucked up. It's like a lemonade. you want it half sour and half sweet because the two flavors are complementary. The love needs to be there so it can wreck their lives or they need to be wrecks so they can fall in love

[damndorothea]

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

[mangled-by-disuse]

in happier pride news i actually found this deeply heartwarming

that's solidarity baybeeee

[lgbtlaughs]

Further context: Durham city council (Reform UK) cut funding and support for Pride. The Durham Miner's Association and other trade unions raised enough money for Durham Pride 2026 to go ahead - a direct call back to when Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) raised money for mining communities when Margaret Thatcher seized union funding during the miner strikes of 1984-85.

At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.

Stephen Guy, the chair of the Durham Miners’ Association, said that when it became apparent Durham Pride was under threat, he took it upon himself to “encourage the trade union movement to step up and do the right thing, and stand shoulder to shoulder with the LGBT+ community […] They not only raised funds for us, but came to our communities, uplifted our spirits when they were down, and showed their solidarity.”

[gentlier]

What is your eye color?

A 10, 17, 40, or 50

A 20, 30, or 60

C 20, 30, or 40

D 10, 30, 37, or 50

D 20, 34, 40, or 60

T 7, 10, 15, or 17

T 20, 30, 40, or 50

BOTH of my eyes are two different colors.

ONE of my eyes is two different colors.

I don’t have eyes.

Remaining time: 6 days 12 hours

[aidashakur]

[eosofspades]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[catscatscatscatscatscatserybody]

This is so fucking funny

[salvadorbonaparte]

"on god's green earth" is way too fun to say even when you don't believe in god and know most of it is blue, actually

[ashlgcostumes]

Tag via @bluehairedspidey and vocabulary updated

[livesbetweenpages]

Libreoffice is pretty easy to use off the bat, but it is likely not a wise idea to use it for the first time while trying to format fic into a printable book.

[butchflirt]

“We will not blame him for the crimes of his ancestors if he relents the royal rights of his ancestors; but as long as he claims their rights, by virtue of descent, then, by virtue of descent, he must shoulder the responsibility for their crimes.”

— Séamas Ó Conghaile, an Edinburgh-born Irish Republican and socialist, on King George V; a sentiment that transcends time. (via tal-eire)

[bethanydelleman]

I have been listening to this podcast called Betwixt the Sheets, The History of Sex, Scandal & Society, and it's really reminding me of the main reason that you should listen to experts. It's not because of the reason media usually shows, them having encyclopedic knowledge of their subject (though many do have that) it's their ability to sort.

This podcast demonstrates that ability really well because sex scandals tend to be used as propaganda, so it's difficult to tell if they are true or not. The host will ask the historian guest, "Did he have sex with men?" and the guest will say something like, "Well four sources say so, but three were written after his death and the one from his lifetime was from a dude who REALLY hated him, so I'm going to conclude no."

That is what an expert can do, that we've perhaps forgotten about because we have so much information at our fingertips, an expert can tell which information is good & valid vs. bad & unreliable. An expert can sort much faster than a layman because they've been doing it for years.

It's the same for my field. Some things I am absolutely sure are wrong, like if someone says "We only use 10% of our brains." No, we use all of it and I can even tell you what every part does. But other claims, if I see a news article claiming something that sounds fishy, I can read the research article behind it and judge the validity of the source. I can sort. I know which parameters to sort on. That was the entire point of my education and it was pounded into my head.

Knowledge isn't enough. Researching isn't enough because if you don't know how to sort you'll just be led astray down dangerous rabbit holes. That is why experts are so important.

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]