Here We Are Rebuilding Roads @herewearerebuildingroads - Tumblr Blog

boomer-mythology-destroyer

depsidase

softwaring

joelpersels

pygmyhilltroll

I will protect all life.

quasi-normalcy

yellbug

i used to follow someone who would reblog this post like 50 times a day and i tried to filter it but because i filtered it using the whole phrase i would see them all anyway but it made the whole post funnier to me so i left it like that and now every time i see this i smile fondly

latenightgasstationwalk

Of course it goes without saying that I am hopelessly dependent on the ingot

gumi-megpoidd

"theyre giving he man pronouns" is one of the funniest things ive heard recently. i cant stop thinking about it. he man. the man with a pronoun in his name. he. theyre giving he man pronouns. incredible

leviathan-supersystem

there's this video going around from youtuber Adam Something about how "the left pushed men into the arms of Andrew Tate by not having good dating advice for men" and it kicks off with a personal story where he says "when i was a young man and I'd ask 'how do I score a hot gf? 😏' the left responded 'uhm, the word score is actually very problematic!' and I said 'jeez sorry I asked' and then I went to the right, and (etc.)" and it's like...

look man. if you're going around saying "how do I score a hot gf", out loud, with your mouth, where people can hear you, then honestly "hey maybe reconsider how you talk and think about women" is actually really good dating advice that will help you cause saying that shit is gonna repulse women. maybe it's not what you wanted to hear but it's what you needed to hear.

oorpe

I kinda agree that Adam's guide was a bit tone-deaf and silly, but it's still a concrete list of things to do to be less shitty when you are starting to date. Which in turn facilitates getting to know people you find attractive, and realizing that they are also people.

You're not going to get far if you start with language policing. Kids know almost nothing and fear rejection a lot, so we should try to figure out the actual meaning behind the poorly chosen words of the question instead of immediately chastizing them for asking it in the wrong way.

The question of "how do I score a hot gf" is likely to expand into "dating seems scary and vulnerable, I'd like to become romantically involved with a specific person but I have no social script to navigate by, and I don't want to blow my chances through some silly mistake" if you pry a little and ask a few follow-up questions. And we as adults are in fact capable of dealing with poorly worded and stupid-sounding questions without immediately turning to glib hostility. We just have to ask follow-up questions and be patient and kind.

she-who-is-two-sizes-too-big

We do not have to be patient and kind to misogynists who turn to the right when their misogyny is challenged

oorpe

The follow-up questions are intended to determine if you are talking to someone who can still be steered to a better path, I'm just saying it's good praxis to hold your horses for a moment before getting confrontational when you come upon someone asking dumb shitty questions. They might actually be asking good questions in shitty and dumb ways due to a myriad of reasons.

You don't have to be endlessly patient of course. If they double down on the misogyny or whatever, feel free to tear em a new one!

she-who-is-two-sizes-too-big

"How do I score a hot gf" is kind of inherently incapable of being a good question because it, and the sentiment behind it, are rooted in men's feelings of ownership over women's bodies and the belief that having a girlfriend is something men are entitled to

oorpe

I agree that these are some of the broad misogynistic currents underlying the question! Nonsensical expectations and demands towards women are things we are in no short supply of, and not being a toxic dick is a never-ending process of recognizing and discarding these ideas as they swim to the surface. What I'm getting at is that if one is talking to a young man who is asking this question, "how to score a hot gf" can be sort of a stock formulation of a much more complex ask. Sometimes the underlying question is unfortunately still going to be "how do I manipulate women into giving me things I want, preferably without anything in return" and that is reprehensible and deserving of ridicule and scorn. But other times, the underlying question is going to be "how do I approach this person I have a crush on, I can't seem to find a way to begin communicating (probably due to some unexamined assumptions and feelings rooted in the general misogyny of my environment), is there some sort of an etiquette that I could follow so this would be less scary? Also I don't want to act like that guy from the first hypothetical, he's a shithead."

In either case, to our 15-20yo boy/man asking the question, the "how to score a hot gf" formulation is a concise and plausibly deniable way to broach the subject. It doesn't bare vulnerability or unveil specific bad intentions, and it's plausibly explainable as ironic, so that their peers are less likely to make fun of them for asking it.

jessicalprice

No, it’s not complicated. Young cis men are asking “why have I not automatically received the mommy bangmaid I am owed for having a dick and surviving until adulthood?” and the answer is “leave women the fuck alone since you’re incapable of basic empathy or recognizing humanity in women and girls.”

oorpe

In lieu of constructing Killjoy's Incel Island, I still think it makes sense to figure out if a young person is using inflammatory rhetoric out of genuine buy-in into harmful ideas or out of cultural osmosis, and crafting my approach accordingly. To each their own, of course.

lesbian-spider-drone

Folks will choose “being right” versus “being effective” almost every time, it seems.

dragon-in-a-fez

I feel like I am genuinely losing brain cells watching people argue that we should ostracise teenagers for asking for life advice in less than perfect language, while simultaneously making up a whole parallel universe in which said less than perfect language means specific things no reasonable person would read into it. like, is "how do I score a hot gf" objectifying? yes, obviously. does it mean "I think I am entitled to the partner of my choice and for her to be my mommy and sex slave"? no, you literally just made that up and I'm starting think you're the one we should maroon on Killjoy Island