hey 👉😎👉

[orteil42]

it is unfortunate that i am extremely lazy while simultaneously wanting to make games that i'd describe as "everything's in it"

[orteil42]

[lonelyroommp3]

REALLLLL

[infectiouspiss]

i may or may not want u. depending

i got hoes with nuance

[maryoliveoil]

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

[the-domestic-mammoth]

EVERYTHING'S FINE :) By W.B. Yeats

Tracing a neat straight line, adept and sure, The falcon heeds the calling falconer; Things hang together, and the center holds; Mere symmetry is ordering the world, The sea-bright tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence proceeds; The best have strong convictions, while the worst Are full of resignation and are sad.

Surely no revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming's far away. The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When an indifference borne of stable comfort Leaves my sight clear: somewhere in sands of the desert A lion with lion body and the head of a lion, A gaze calm and leonine, as is usual, Is moving its slow thighs, while all around it Reel shadows of the normal desert birds. What a nice lion, right? And now I know That twenty centuries have gone along And things were bad sometimes, and things were good, And if a lion slouches toward Bethlehem, That's 'cause it's native to the Levant.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I was reborn in a sci fi world as an insectoid mercenary with serrated bladearms and a bandolier of smoke grenades and throwing knives and dual machine pistols and a sawed off plasma shotgun and a beam katana and six-eyed night vision goggles

[questbedhead]

Elderly Neighbor: The old woman smiles serenely, seemingly unmoved by the muffled sobs of her pet-bereft granddaughter in the bedroom above.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help to you dear- I do hope you'll find your way to my sweet Carine's pussy."

Carine: Oh, fuck yeah, Grand-mere! She's *clearly* saying she's rooting for us to get down and dirty once this stupid 'mystery' is solved. What a wingwoman!

The Cat [Empathy: Medium]: Her tone is far to light, considering the real Carine's genuine distress. I don't think she actually cares about my disappearance at all.

Carine: Yeah, because she's clearly to busy trying to set you and I up for some smoking hot lesbian sex! Tell her you catch her drift.

Sister Dörthe [Logic: Easy] : This is an elderly woman; even if she is accepting of both your homosexual tendencies and your witchcraft, she's unlikely to appreciate any crude remarks regarding her granddaughter's 'pussy'.

Old Coven Mother: Who cares what the old biddy thinks? Mix poppy and a newt spermatophore into her blåbärssoppa! Enslave her mind, kidnap her, and bring her to the devil's sacrament as a new bride for Lord Lucifer!

The Cat [Empathy: Easy] : Most people don't like to be kidnapped

Sister Dörthe [Logic: Easy]: Most people don't like to be kidnapped.

New Coven Mother: Most people don't like to be kidnapped as a first date, but kidnapping *is* a traditional witch courtship ritual. Perhaps a mutually agreed upon, prearranged kidnapping would be a good way to preserve our culture, without causing a violent mob to drag you to the village square and throw your wretched body onto the pyre?

Carine: My pussy would tooooootally be worth the pyre though.

[beanytuesday]

what the hell did I just read

[lesbianbloodritual]

The Ones Who Walk Into Omelas With Kevlar Vests And Samurai Swords And Desert Eagles And Stare Down All Those Wicked Unrighteous Sinners In Their Droves And Proceed To Totally Fucking Waste Them All In A High Octane Action Sequence That Kicks Insane Amounts Of Ass Think The Raid If It Was Directed By John Woo But When They Finally Get To The Door Of The Basement Where They Keep The Kid Oh Shit It's The Fucking King Of Omelas And He's Wielding The Cursed Obsidian Blade Of The Underworld And They Gotta Waste Him Too But He's Incredibly Fast And Strong Thanks To All The Power He's Getting From The Kid And He Kills Almost All Of Them Until The Leader Draws Him Out With A Double Feint That Leaves Him Wide Open And Cuts His Fucking Head Clean Off With A Single Perfect Stroke And Then They Finally Open The Door To The Basement And Free The Kid

[hungwy]

T shirt that says I DID MERITOUS ACTS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS MUNDANE BOON

[maddiesharafian]

A Blacksmith’s Dream

[eightyonekilograms]

I'm playing correspondence chess with my brother and don't feel like making a move tonight but wanted to make sure I did it tomorrow, so I wrote "move against brother" in my TODO list before realizing that sounds kind of insane.

[phaeton-flier]

#AncientPrinceProblems

[theonion]

[ask-pacman]

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

[crawfishcomic]

Brainstorm

[beaft]

me when someone abruptly asks me if i want to go and do something fun together but the fun thing wasn't part of my daily plan:

[wallofgoats]

"this reminds me of a sexual puzzle" - Sexual Professor Layton