I'm so qwerty

they/them, 24, gay as hell

[jeffgerstmann]

If someone jerks me off with a puppet it counts as a threesome, right?

read your bible

[marsixm]

thanks!

[justsomeguycore]

horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Yes I ship them. Non-canonically. Yes I know they got together in canon, it was a terrible decision, it made the story much worse. I don't want them together in the story, I just ship them. What's confusing.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this is jonmartin to me#tma

You'll never guess which ship I wrote this post about in the first place

[thickness-protection-program]

Dang rip America

[karlyboyyy]

[pookapufferfish]

[museeeuuuum]

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[calliopechild]

We all like to think we can handle change gracefully, and then someone rearranges our grocery store.

[chaoticgouda]

I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

[fieldbears]

and the ship name, squire? what is the ship name

[artemis-in-space]

“… Kinglebells, m'lord.”

[filmnoirsbian]

There's an influencer couple somewhere remodeling my dream victorian house into a suburban minimalist nightmare right now

[bandydear]

[gayvampyr]

the generational gap between me and the people my age who use chat gpt

[punksalmon]

worst part of anxiety/ocd is that sometimes your fears actually do happen and you have to wag your finger at i like this still doesn't prove you're right asshole. it's like having a venom symbiote except you don't even get to have gay alien sex

[picklemanhasurges]

my mind palace is made out of drywall and it is occupied by an angry 16 year old american boy who keeps punching holes into the wall and that is why i dont remember things

[hairscare]

pisses me off when i see people on other platforms talk about "everyone" abandoning tumblr after the sex ban and what a big impact that had. THE WEAK LEFT THE STRONG SURVIVED. REAL TUMBLR USERS WILL NEVER STOP. they could make a new update where you can only post 3 words at a time and id still be on here like "hey guys whats"

[curioscurio]

when I tell you I had to do a double take because I thought these were 2 parts of the same whole joke

[br1ghtestlight]

spent MONTHS looking for this stupid tumblr post bcuz i constantly want to reference it and it wouldn't come up no matter what i searched despite it being (what i thought) was a popular well-known tumblr post only to find that the original blog turned off reblogs and deactivated and that it only got 12k notes total. but im posting it anyway to preserve its legacy

[nonaferatu]

This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace

[nonaferatu]

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.