back in vancouver

@heynells

[heynells-blog1]

Hello!

I’m Nelli. I live in Vancouver, British Columbia in Canada. 

[heynells-blog1]

why #batgirlintraining

My goals are my goals. Social media makes it easy to fall into the comparison trap, so remember that your goals are your goals. 

I post #batgirlintraining selfies on Instagram because they hold me accountable to marathon training and knee rehab sessions. Each selfie is a reminder of how far I've come since my high school days of hating gym class and eating tons of food to deal with anxiety. I also grew up learning about my family's health history with diabetes and cancer, and hearing my grandparents visit the hospital more times than I remember - that scared me. 

My family's health history, a terrible ending with an ex-partner, and my disinterest in seeking medication for my mental health pushed me to start running / working out - no matter how slow I ran and how packed my schedule was. I've only been consistent with "batgirl in training" because I'm deeply rooted in my Why's and my ultimate health and wellness goal - becoming a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and vegan nutritionist to assist others (particularly women and youth of color) in implementing sustainable healthy lifestyle habits. It's a big goal I need to break down into "tiny goals", but something that pushes me to stay consistent with my health and wellness practices.

[heynells-blog1]

In the process of creating the woman I want to be, I'm being selfish with my time and energy so I can collaborate with others to dismantle patriarchy and other oppressive structures AND live a life that I truly love. 

#batgirlintraining has been at the forefront of my Instagram stories because I realize that working out is my best form of self-care, it's the most effective way for me to deal with my mental health, and critically examine my layers of body dysmorphia. As I learn more things through knee rehab sessions and my online nutrition course, I'm re-evaluating and mending my relationship with my body. I'm in awe of what it's been pushed to do during knee rehab, and I've become more aware of how the tissues, muscles, and bones are interconnected - particularly because it's important to take care of EVERY single part. Becoming one version of the woman I want to be means loving my body 100%, and I'm confident I'll get there as long as I forgo anyone/anything that doesn't contribute to my happiness. 

Today, the body love is tangible and real.

[heynells-blog1]

May Money Diaries // Last Week of May & Final Recap

For the month of May, I recorded my weekly expenses and shared them as my “May Money Diaries” (here’s Money Diary 1, Money Diary 2, and Money Diary 3). Inspired by the “Money Diary” series on Refinery 29 and The Luxe Strategist, I thought it would be interesting to see how I hold up against my budget and long-term financial goals. I think I’m quite disciplined with my spending, but I ocassionally have slip-ups - these usually occur around food (eating out with friends) and coffee shops.

Low Waste Food Haul #3 - Bird’s view of my grocery canvas bag. It weighed 10-15 pounds with the grapefruit, bittermelon, limes, and mushrooms pressing down on my right shoulder. 

This money diary is late because my work and personal life became chaotic and I lost track of time. I almost didn’t post this money diary because I was ashamed of its late post timing; but I decided that a subpar finish would be better versus an incomplete ending to my May Money Diary series. 

I don’t remember a lot from the last week of May. Examining the notes above, my spending habits aren’t out of the ordinary. The only note that bothers me is that I spent $9.24 for dinner on May 31st because I was really hungry and I needed more time to work on things at home. I could have meal prepped the evening before/morning of that Thursday ... I spent more of my eating out money AND produced waste. Not cool.

My total spending for the month of May: 

Groceries: $68.40

Eating Out (Restaurants & Coffee Shops & Friend Dates): $111.92

Shopping: $84.34

Transportation: $57.75 

Donations (Girls Run International and AIDS Walk): $57.38

Miscellaneous: $16.50 

May Total Spending: $508.21 

May Student Loan Payment: $1,200

May Total Earnings: $2,238

May Savings: $2,238 - ($508.21 + $1,200)= $529.79

I’m alarmed that I spent more than $500 on the above categories. As predicted, I spent the most amount of money on eating out, while shopping came second and groceries ranked third. That’s surprising because I thought I would have spent more money on groceries than shopping. 

I could have saved $57.38 if I didn’t donate to two nonprofits. While it would have been good to save that, I firmly believe in sharing what you have to support others and I really wanted to support those two nonprofits. I was also aware that I would be earning extra income this month, so I felt comfortable donating that amount of money. 

The miscellaneous amount ($16.50) was from buying two vegan pies (and a vegan sunflower chocolate chip cookie, for myself) as a welcome gift for my partner’s parents. I wasn’t given enough time to make something, otherwise I would have made a vegan Filipino dish. 

Writing these weekly May Money Diaries was sometimes annoying, but it made me more conscious of my spending habits since I wrote down every single expense. I’m relieved that it’s over and I stayed committed to sharing my financial updates. 

I think I did an okay job managing my money in May, but I need to work on curbing my “eating out” appetite. My eating out category was high this month because I was sick the first week of May and I had to eat out because I was too weak to cook soup for myself. (My partner doesn’t live near me so I couldn’t ask him to help me.) In my opinion, $111.92 is a lot of money for eating out and I would prefer only spending $60 - $70 maximum. I’ll need to discipline myself with my eating out habits this summer (June, July, and August) because I’ll be losing one of my babysitting clients at the end of June --> less income. I’ll also need to save more money for the possibility that I’ll be leaving the United States at the end of August. 

[heynells-blog1]

May Money Diaries // Oh hello $5 Adidas Athleisure Top

For the month of May, I’ll be recording my weekly expenses and sharing them as my “May Money Diaries” (here’s Money Diary 1, Money Diary 2, and Money Diary 3). Inspired by the “Money Diary” series on Refinery 29 and The Luxe Strategist, I thought it would be interesting to see how I hold up against my budget and long-term financial goals. I think I’m quite disciplined with my spending, but I ocassionally have slip-ups - these usually occur around food (eating out with friends) and coffee shops. 

Low Waste Food Haul #2 - In an effort to be plastic-free, I’ve been using reusable cotton produce bags instead of plastic bags. No one has questioned me about their use. The only reaction I got last week was the cashier raising their eyebrows at the bags. 

I changed my morning routine on and went early to the Union Square Greenmarket. After dropping off my food scraps, I bought 3 sweet potatoes, radishes, and carrots as extra sides for this week and next week’s meal prep. I wanted to buy more, but I didn’t want to carry too much with me as I had a full day of babysitting and I wouldn’t get home till 8:30pm. 

There was an opportunity for me to save $2.75 on subway transportation. I could have walked from Chinatown to Greenwich Village for my evening kickboxing class. But it was extremely humid, and I was slightly tired from babysitting. I didn’t want to tire myself more and not have enough energy for kickboxing class; so I decided to conserve my energy and take the subway. I’m glad I did that because I felt more energetic during this week’s kickboxing class compared to last week’s class. 

I went about my usual Tuesday routine - working out at home, babysitting, working from home, and eating at home - and spent $0 because no spend days are my favourite days.  

I did not intend to spend $2.75, but I ended up having a food shortage due to the vegan burger patties (which my mom bought at the store, eventhough I didn’t ask her to) getting spoiled. I bought chayote, grapefruit, and sweet potatoes (because you can never have enough sweet potatoes, and they were only 99 cents per pound - score). 

I was surprised at how little I paid for my food haul at the Williamsburg grocery store. I expected to spend $5, but I realize that I always gravitate towards produce that’s marked down because those are the deals I’ve been waiting for. 

Since I knew I was attending an artivism panel in the evening, I packed dinner. Whenever I attend public events, I’m always concerned that there won’t be vegan food options. I’m a picky eater and also particular about the timing of my dinner; so I prefer packing my own food/snacks versus putting my faith that the event will have vegan options. In my experience of organizing and attending panels, most serve appetizers/snacks - and I was right for this event. I was grateful I packed dinner and ate it before the event began. 

The first half of Thursday was stressful due to a babysitting incident and an intense lunch discussion with my mom, so I spoiled myself in the afternoon with a pot of rose green tea. I could have saved $2 by ordering it to-go. But, I didn’t do that because I would get less tea for the price I was paying. Also, the owners know me now and give me free hot water refills for my tea pot. 

After babysitting my Chinatown kids, I explored some grocery stores near their apartment. I got great deals on lemons, pears, peppers - all marked down. 

Fridays = eating out with friend(s) day. I was excited to eat out because it offered a nice break from meal prepping. 

Lunch was at peacefood: a vegan kitchen & bakery, and my friend and I ordered a spicy cesar chicken salad. I was planning to get their soup of the day ($5.95), but I wasn’t wooed by their carrot and pasnip puree soup. I knew that soup mix wouldn’t fill me up because it’s not high in protein. At least the spicy cesar chicken salad offers a decent amount of protein, fat, and carbs at a reasonable price of $12 and something cents (it says $15 above because + tip). 

We couldn’t end our meal without dessert, so I took my friend to Union Square Greenmarket to introduce her to Body & Soul Bakery. I got a sunflower seed double chocolate chip cookie, while my friend bought a double chocolate muffin. Oozing with chocolate dessert in our hands, we went to look for a seat. My friend accidentally smeared some melted chocolate on her dress, and that dictated our next stop - second-hand clothing stores. 

In New York City, two well-known thrift/second hand stores are Beacon’s Closet and Buffalo Exchange. My friend and I first went to Beacon’s Closet because it was closer to Union Square Park. We didn’t find anything there, so we headed to Buffalo Exchange. 

I didn’t plan to buy anything at Buffalo Exchange, but Lady Luck felt differently. I found an Adidas blue athleisure top (still with its store tag) for $10, in my size; but its final price was $5 because it was on sale! The amount of self-control it’s taking me to not use a million exclamation marks right now is the same amount of disciplne I exerted to not scream in the cashier’s face. I love buying multi-purpose and high quality clothes at low, low prices. 

After Buffalo Exchange, I walked my friend back to Union Square and we parted ways. I went to The Strand because I wanted to buy a book by Octavia Butler, but then I walked out with an ECOlunchbox stainless steel container. What happened? While wandering the cook book section, my eyes fell on the ECOlunchbox containers tucked away on a small shelf. Without thinking, I moved towards the containers, opened the sample, gave it a detailed inspection, and then I lined up at the check-out counter. 

I’m not someone who makes spontaneous purchases, though how I spent my money this Friday presents me that way. My thought process behind buying the ECOlunchbox container looked like this: 

I actually need it because the plastic containers I have at home (which I’ve had for 4-5 years) have scratches, nicks, and a little bit of discoloration which makes them not good to use  

Buying this ECOlunchbox container at The Strand would generate less waste because ordering it online would mean extra packaging (e.g. plastic and paper) for mailing, along with the pollution produced in delivering the package to my apartment in Jersey City 

Also, ordering it online would include an additional payment of $5-$10 for shipping, which is something I’d prefer to save 

I was confident and excited purchasing the ECOlunchbox because it’s an investment for my low waste | zero waste journey. I had a goofy smile on my face as I handed my credit card to the person behind the counter. 

I ended the day with dinner at Red Bamboo with one of my best friends. We ordered lots of food as we updated each other on over two months of activities. With this friend, she pays for dinner while I pay for dessert; but that night, I paid the 20% tip. We didn’t get dessert because we were full from our main dishes. 

Something that I look forward to about the weekends is that my parents pay for lunch, so I only need to prepare breakfast and dinner. They also surprised my brother and me by taking us to see Solo: A Star Wars Story. 

I’m surprised that I spent less than $100 this week, because I thought that my two instances of eating out and shopping would cause me to go over $100. I’m mentally high-fiving myself for staying under this week’s budget and discovering great deals. 

My grocery spending was small this week because I bought the right amount of produce as side additions for this week’s meals and to last for this upcoming week. I also made sure to buy produce that was on sale. 

I honestly smile when I think about how much I spent on shopping this week because I know I saved money on both items. I paid $5 for a $30 Adidas athleisure top. I paid $29.34 for a $35.00 ECOlunchbox container (this is an estimate I calculated based on buying it online). Saving approximately $30 on shopping makes batgirl ridiculously happy about this week’s purchases. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts/comments on this Money Diary and my May Money Diaries series - ask me anything. Next weekend’s blog post will be my last May Money Diary. 

[heynells-blog1]

May Money Diaries // Recommitting to Low Waste Food Shopping

For the month of May, I’ll be recording my weekly expenses and sharing them as my “May Money Diaries”. Inspired by the “Money Diary” series on Refinery 29 and The Luxe Strategist, I thought it would be interesting to see how I hold up against my budget and long-term financial goals. I think I’m quite disciplined with my spending, but I ocassionally have slip-ups - these usually occur around food (eating out with friends) and coffee shops.

Photo 1 of many vegan low-waste | zero waste food hauls to come! 

Monday was my usual full day of babysitting, and I ended the day with a kickboxing class in Greenwich Village. 

During my lunch break, I bought 1 pack of vegan cheese and 1 pack of tempeh at Trader Joe’s - I amost bought a bar of 90% dark chocolate, but I returned it because I had 3/4 remaining from last week’s dark chocolate bar. 

Last week, I forgot to include the $20 online donation I made to my friend’s AIDS Walk New York fundraising page - so I added it to Monday’s expenses. 

I feel like a queen whenever I record a $0 day. I went about my usual babysitting and work from home schedule, and I made and ate meals at home. 

Since I meal prep at least 60% of my food during the weekend, I only spend 5-10 minutes prepping each meal and enjoying it within my alloted 30 minute meal time. I made vegan meals using groceries from last weekend. I tend to buy enough to last for 1.5 weeks because I want to get rid of any temptation to “eat out” just because I’m feeling “kind of tired”. 

It was a smooth morning going from baby sitting in Jersey City to my work meeting in Williamsburg. I was pleased at not paying for subway fare - kudos to my boss for providing me with prepaid student fare tickets. 

I wanted to have another $0 day. But after my work meeting, I needed a coffee shop for WiFi and to shelter me from the rain. I didn’t have a lot of options in finding a coffee shop near my afternoon babysitting gig that wasn’t crammed with people. I settled for the coffee shop closest to my kids’ pick-up location, though it had an expensive menu. In my opinion, $3.50 for an iced green tea is overpriced, but that day it was so humid and my throat was begging for a cold drink. I also didn’t want to take away time from working. 

$0 Day #2! Babysat in the morning, went back home to work and eat lunch, then left to head into NYC for a work meeting - subway paid for [again] with my student fare cards. 

My meeting ended early and I considered walking from Union Square to Chinatown; but I decided to use the 1 hour till babysitting to sit and work in the cafe. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do any work the next day, so I did as much as I could before my afternoon babysitting gig. 

I got hungry waiting for my kids and from using lots of brainpower during the meeting, so I helped myself to a few snacks from my kids’ pantry. I’m grateful that their mom is transitioning to being vegan, so the kitchen is well-stocked with vegan snacks. 

And because I was determined to have a $0 day, I made and ate dinner at home.

Hail Friday! I woke up a little anxious because I was going to meet my partner’s parents for the first time AND I also needed to stop by Whole Foods’ bulk bin section and Union Square Greenmarket before 1:30pm. I had a lot to do before and after my 9:30AM babysitting gig. 

In the past few weeks, I’ve been disgusted at the amount of plastic I’ve been using because I used to be committed to making less trash at least 70% of the time. I began losing track of my habits last winter, right after I finished my compost apprenticeship with Earth Matter NY. I got caught up in the stress of my dual work schedule that I started shopping out of convenience versus considering the long-term environmental consequences of my actions. I used and bought a ton of items that came in plastic. After realizing how far I’d fallen from my progress on making less trash and being plastic-free, I decided to recommit to baby steps on living a low-waste | zero-waste lifestyle. 

Whole Foods’ Bulk Bins

I rushed to get to Whole Foods by 8AM because I wanted to have enough time to peruse their bulk bins and determine my food choices - before babysitting at 9:30AM. After 5 minutes of careful deliberation, I got roasted and unsalted peanuts, roasted and unsalted almonds, and black beans; those are some of my common vegan food staples and those were also some of the cheaper options. 

I wish I knew how many pounds I got of each item, as I just filled my small cotton produce bags halfway or to the top. Since I was rushing, I didn’t look for a scale. I wasn’t worried about getting too much because I knew I would consume those items daily. In particular, I got A LOT of peanuts because I decided that I would no longer buy peanut butter from a jar since most store jars are made out of plastic. Instead, I’ll just add 1/4 or 1/3 cup of peanuts to my oatmeal every morning. I probably got enough peanuts to last me for 2-3 months. 

Because I love vegan cheese and I don’t have time to make it, I bought 1 packet of Daiya vegan cheddar. I don’t feel bad because I actually need it and it’s a manageabe food splurge. I died a little bit inside knowing that the bag was made of plastic, but I reminded myself that the point of being low waste | zero waste is doing what one can, within their money and time, to make sustainable choices. Also, it’s challenging to avoid plastic because it’s used almost everywhere. Instead of being hard on myself, I’d rather focus on taking this in as a learning experience and figure out a solution for future cheese cravings - this is how I’m practicing conscious decision-making. 

The total amount I spent at Whole Foods was $26.87. It’s a lot for 4 items, but I predict the amount of peanuts, almonds, and black beans will last me for at least 2-3 months and will save me some time for grocery shopping (since I won’t have to go back weekly to refill my cloth bags). The vegan cheese will probably be consumed within 1 month. 

Union Square Greenmarket 

After babysitting my Upper West Side child, I took the subway down to Union Square Greenmarket to buy fresh produce for me and homemade vegan dessert for my partner’s parents. 

For $11.75 I bought 5 apples, portobello mushrooms, spinach, and parsley to last me for 1 week. I didn’t buy a lot of fresh produce because I still have leftovers from last week’s food haul, and I didn’t want any produce to go to waste.  

I spent $16.50 on a vegan apple pie, vegan sweet potato and pumpkin pie, and a vegan sunflower double chocolate cookie from Body & Soul Bakeshop. I love Body & Soul because they make everything by hand and use local ingredients, and I think the prices for all their baked goods are fair and reasonable. The two vegan pies were for my partner’s parents, while the [huge] cookie was for me and my partner to share. I felt good after paying for everything because I spent less than my $20 budget and the cookie was so chewy, delicious, and moist with dark chocolate. 

For the Rest of Friday ...

I spent the afternoon with my partner’s parents. After eating with them, my partner and me went to the movies to watch Deadpool 2. My partner paid for my ticket because he had an offer that only required him to pay $4 for the ticket. Since the movie ended late and we got stuck in traffic heading back to Jersey City, we didn’t have time to get dinner together. 

It was a $0 day because I ate 2 meals at home (using food from last week’s food haul), and my parents paid for lunch at one of my favourite restaurants in Jersey City. My parents always pay for meals on the weekend because it’s the only time they get to see and actually talk to me. 

On Sundays, I rarely spend any money because I either eat my meals at home or I cook food / eat out with my partner. I’m not spending ay money today because I’m eating whatever food I have in the fridge and in my pantry. 

Considering that I spent more this week compared to last week, I’m relatively calm because I know $26.87 of that was on food expected to last me for 2-3 months. 

My mom surprised me with unexpected food purchases for this week - 1 pack of vegan Italian sausage, 1 pack of vegan burgers, avocados, raspberries, and strawberries. I felt a little bad that she bought the vegan saursages and burgers because I wonder if she did that because she knows I’m getting tired of eating beans and chickpeas. With my mom’s purchases, I know I have enough sources of protein and oatmeal toppings. I predict that next week’s farmers market haul will consist mainly of vegetables. 

[heynells-blog1]

May Money Diaries // Whoops, I signed up for another 5K

For the month of May, I’ll be recording my weekly expenses and sharing them as my “May Money Diaries”. Inspired by the “Money Diary” series on Refinery 29 and The Luxe Strategist, I thought it would be interesting to see how I hold up against my budget and long-term financial goals. I think I’m quite disciplined with my spending, but I ocassionally have slip-ups - these usually occur around food (eating out with friends) and coffee shops. 

This week’s highlight - I’m 80-90% recovered from last week’s sickness! I didn’t eat out as much and I wasn’t coughing every minute, and it was a relief to wake up without having to sprint to the bathroom and throw up. 

I’m usually excited for Mondays because new week = new beginnings, and I was even more excited this Monday because I had a lunch date with my partner and a dinner date with one of my best friends. 

That morning, I babysat my Upper West Side child, then met my partner at Whole Foods Midtown. I made us “tofurkey” wraps for lunch so that he wouldn’t spend so much money on additional food. I also brought dried apricots for us to share. 

Eventhough I really wanted an iced green tea, I decided to slay that coffee shop demon and stay at Whole Foods to use their free WiFi. After a few hours of working, I took the subway downtown to meet my best friend and take the train together to Champs Dinner. 

My only rule for eating out is that if I can make it at home, I don’t order it. Eventually, I narrowed my top 2 choices down to the MacDadddy bowl and kale lentil soup. Kale lentil soup only won because of its price; it’s $7 for a bowl, while the MacDaddy bowl is $15. I was only sad about my order for a few seconds because my friend and I decided to order a side of tater tots at the last minute - crunchy, fried potatoes? Yum. We ordered tater tots because we deserve them and we love ourselves. 

As our usual post-Champs tradition, my best friend and I went to Dun-well Donuts for vegan donuts. I ordered 2 maple donuts, which my friend paid for because she needed to spend a specific amount to use her credit card. We ended the night talking and eating our donuts at Union Square Park. 

On Tuesday, I followed my standard schedule of: babysit in the morning, work from home for 3-4 hours, take the train into the city for my afternoon babysitting gig, and then eat dinner at home. I didn’t spend any money on food because I ate whatever I meal prepped on Sunday. 

Wednesdays are my coffe shop days, and I don’t foresee that changing anytime soon. After my morning babysitting gig in Jersey City, I took the PATH train into the city. 

On my way to my work space in Williamsburg, I used 1 trip from last week’s Subway Student Fare ticket and I used 1 trip from another Subway Student Fare ticket to get back to Chinatown. I was torn between walking the Williamsburg bridge or taking the subway, but I needed extra time to work on a time-sensitive project so productivity > sunny day and exercise. I wish I had the power to fly or teleport because it would save me approximately $200 each month. 

Once I arrived at my favourite coffee shop, I ordered a genmaicha tea and ate a tofurkey wrap that I made at home. I worked for 3 hours in that coffee shop before heading to my afternoon babysitting gig. 

Eventhough I was tempted to order soup and vegan dumplings from Buddha Bodai, I ate dinner at home since I still had so much food from my last grocery haul. I was so hungry, I ate 1 triple bean burrito and 1 serving of homemade sushi made with edamame, mushroom, and curry rice by my partner’s mama. 

I had an unusual Thursday because I took a personal day from my nonprofit job,  and I decided to have an early Mother’s Day celebration with my Mom. After babysitting my Jersey City kids, I commuted to the city and met my mom for vegan dim sum at Buddha Bodai. She insisted that it was her treat, so I let her pay for our meal. 

After our hearty lunch, we walked around Soho and Chinatown for an hour before we parted ways. I spent an hour working on a few things at Silk Road Cafe before my afternoon and evening babysitting gig. I babysat from 3pm-8pm that day, and I was exhausted at the end of it. 

Fri-yay vibes were high, just like how much I spent in total that day. I babysat my Upper West Side child, then got lunch with my partner at Whole Foods Midtown. Since I was tired from Thursday’s evening babysitting gig, I didn’t have time to make kale bean wraps for myself and for my partner. 

But, my partner surprised me with tofu bhurji by his mama! We still had to get food from the Whole Foods hot lunch buffet section because there wasn’t enough tofu bhurji for both of us; my partner paid for the hot buffet items. I paid for 1 pomegranate Bruce Cost ginger ale and a 92% dark chocolate bar. I spontaneously grabbed both items as we waited in line, because each item was 50% off. Dark chocolate is my weakness, so seeing it on sale didn’t even go through my brain’s usual decision-making process - I just took it. 

After that lunch date, I stayed at Whole Foods to work on personal projects before my kickboxing class in Greenwich VIllage. I spent 1.5 hours researching Girls On The Run International and their NYC chapter, and then spontaneously signed up to volunteer and run at their annual 5K run in June. This was not accounted for in my May budget, but I didn’t panic at paying the registration fee because it’s going towards an organization that I wish existed when I was younger. 

I left Whole Foods a little later than I intended, so I took the subway to West 4th to arrive to my kickboxing class on time. After 1 hour of my entire body working out to its full potential, I took the PATH back to Jersey and made dinner at home. 

Saturdays are family days, which means I always have lunch paid for by my parents - one of the perks of living with my parents. I always eat breakfast and dinner at home because I usually make something out of my week’s groceries, and I enjoy making food on the weekend because I get to do it at a more relaxed pace. 

My mom wanted to go to an outlet mall in Paramus, so we went there and walked around. I didn’t buy anything because I aspire to be a more eco-conscious shopper and buy only what I need from second-hand/thrift stores. I’ve decided that I will only buy atheltic gear that I need, on sale, from sports brands I support. 

My mom didn’t have any requests for Mother’s Day other than eating lunch at our favourite Vietnamese restaurant. I spent the morning meditating and taking notes on my Skillshare nutrition class before we left for lunch. 

After finishing half a bowl of vegetarian pho (I took the leftovers home for dinner tonight), I started craving dessert. There’s something about eating savory food that makes me always want to eat dessert right after. Once we got home, I microwaved a few pieces of the dark chocolate bar I purchased on Friday and ate that with half a cup of raspberries and a 1 teaspoon of shredded coconut. My taste buds were satisfied. 

I only spent $19.29 on eating out this week and I’m content with that number. I’m relieved to have spent less than last week, but a small part of me also feels that I could have done better. Did I have to sign up for another 5K run? No. But spending money on that made me happy to support a nonprofit I admire. 

I spend money on things that are valuable to me. Thus, I believe it’s important to volunteer time and/or donate money when you can because it’s our responsibility to care for and help each other. I also think it’s powerful to act on the fact that even if you don’t gain something in return for what you paid for / donate to, it’s an anti-capitalistic action rooted in selflessness, generosity, and good will. It’s easy to have money control every aspect of our lives, but we should never let it take full control of our heart and conscience. 

[heynells-blog1]

May Money Diaries // The Spending Habits of a [Sick] Babysitter & Digital Strategist

For the month of May, I’ve decided to chronicle my spending habits through weekly “Money Diary” posts. I’ve seen the “Money Diary” series on Refinery 29 and The Luxe Strategist, so I thought it would be interesting to see how I hold up against my budget and long-term financial goals. I think I’m quite disciplined with my spending, but I ocassionally have slip-ups - these usually occur around food (eating out with friends) and coffee shops.

 Some things to know before I go into my financial down-low: 

I live with my parents in Jersey City, so I save $$$$ on rent, utilities, and my phone bill. Given my fluctuating income, it’s not wise for me to move out. 

I take care of about half my own groceries since I’m vegan and my family is not. I prepare my own meals.  

My parents pay for my Jersey City light rail pass and PATH 40 trip pass because they know my small income would “die” (my Dad’s word, not mine) if I took on all my expenses. Thank you, Mom & Dad, for putting up with my stubborness to work in the nonprofit sector. 

I work as a part-time babysitter for 22 hours a week. Sometimes, I get extra hours through date night gigs. 

My *real job* is being a part-time Communications and Development Coordinator for a local arts + human rights + youth development nonprofit based in Brooklyn. Truthfully, this feels like a full-time position because there’s always so much to do and I am underpaid. 

I pay for my own eating out expenses, shopping, and art supplies. 

My average monthly salary is $1,700. 

Here’s a breakdown of what I spent this week. I pride myelf on being a dedicated meal prepper and aspiring frugalista, but this week was rough because I ended up getting sick with a sore throat and a bad cold - thanks to two kids I babysit. 

On Mondays I babysit my Upper West Side child, so I take the subway to and from her neighborhood. 

Monday was also when my throat started feeling sore. As a preventative measure, I decided to eat soup and vegan dumplings at my favourite NYC restaurant. I wasn’t feeling well enough to make soup at home for myself and I needed time to plan social media content for work. 

I was feeling 5% better on Tuesday, but my throat was sore and beginning to ache. I didn’t take that as a bad sign because I could still talk, though I should have heeded that as a warning that I could become more sick. 

On Tuesdays, I babysit in the morning (Jersey City), work from home for 3-4 hours, and then leave for my afternoon babysitting gig in Chinatown NYC. On that Tuesday, I had a date night gig in Jersey City with a new family; I packed myself a salad for dinner because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to eat anything in their household. I was glad I did that because their dinner was beef stew. 

Wednesdays are my busiest days of the week. After babysitting in the morning, I went to my team meeting in Brooklyn. I was feeling #blessed because my boss gave me a student fare subway card loaded with 2 pre-paid trips - I didn’t have to pay for my subway ride! I used only 1 trip on the card because I decided to walk the Williamsburg bridge to get to Chinatown. It was a beautiful day and I wanted to save the remaining trip. 

I felt like death on Wednesday and I knew I could only power through work and babysitting by fueling myself appropriately. I drank an Immunity juice from Joe & The Juice to console my immune system, and I ate soup and vegan dumplings for lunch (yes, I am addicted to Buddha Bodai). My sore throat wasn’t satisfied with the soup so I went to Silk Road Cafe and orderd a vanilla lemongrass tea; the store owner noticed I had a sore throat, so she added extra honey to the tea. I almost cried at that random act of kindness. 

I was exhausted after my afternoon babysitting gig, so I decided to eat dinner at Thanh Hoai 1. I ordered a large vegetable pho, and I had to order a cup of soy bean milk so that I could meet the restaurant’s credit card limit of $10. I was annoyed I had to purchase an additional item that I didn’t need, but it was the cheapest thing on the menu that I actually liked. 

I woke up with a throbbing headahce, feeling dizzy, and throwing up phlegm every minute, so I cancelled all my babysitting gigs. I eventually stopped throwing up halfway through the day, but I was still light headed and I didn’t feel safe going outside by myself. I worked from home and made food from groceries I purchased last weekend. 

I woke up feeling 70% rejuvenated, so I was able to babysit my Upper West Side child. After, I had a surprise lunch date with my partner. I paid for my split pea soup. He paid for his food, and our pizza squares and sweet chili soy nuggets. I tried to pay for the chili soy nuggets, but my partner was faster than me getting to the cashier. 

After work, my partner and I both craved something sweet so we got bubble tea. My partner paid for that too. We had separate plans for dinner, so he dropped me off at home and I made dinner from last week’s groceries.

Saturdays are usually my grocery days. But since I ate out a lot this past week, I still have a ton of leftover food from last week’s grocery haul so I didn’t go grocery shopping. 

My parents surprised me by taking me out to watch The Avengers: Infinity War. As our usual Saturday custom, we had family lunch together and they paid for my salad. Since we were already at the Jersey City Gardens Outlet, I could not not visit Under Armour and not leave empty-handed with a sale going on, “additional 40% clearance items.” I thought the sale was perfect timing since after spring cleaning my closet, I have a small list of exercise clothes that need to be purchased. I went inside with a goal of only getting items I really needed. I purchased socks (my work-out socks are ratty thanks to babysitting), 1 tank top appropriate for babysitting and work, and a different colour of my favourite sports bra.

Keeping in mind that I was sick and unable to make food for myself, I’m not so anxious about the $65.39 I spent on eating out. It sucks a bit because my budget for eating out this month is $90, so I’m going to have to be careful about eating out for the next three weeks of May. 

I don’t have the flexibility to easily adjust my budget because I’m committed to mailing a $1,200 cheque this month for my monthly student loan payment. If I want to eat out more, that means I’ll have to decrease my grocery budget; I don’t want to do that because I know I get more value for my dollar by making meals at home and I know the food I make is much more healthier. 

Next week’s goal: To stay vigilant on my spending habits and only eat out once or twice. Since I’m feeling 90% better, I think next week’s spending will balance out last week’s eating out patterns. 

[heynells-blog1]

May the Fourth Be With You // Thoughts on Failure

Star Wars has fueled my imagination and belief in worlds that exist in space. Most importantly, Star Wars inspires me during moments of stress and low

Happy Star Wars Day! Here’s a reflection on one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from watching Star Wars at least 50 times during my 23 years of existence. 

[heynells-blog1]

April 2018 // Wins

I enjoyed being a panelist for Pace University’s Wilson Center and Women’s Leadership Initiative networking event, “Women Of Color In the Public and Social Sectors”.  So far my favourite panel of my career and it was so much fun sitting next to one of my best friends on stage. Peep my responses to the questions here. 

I finally signed up and took CKO kickboxing classes. While I’m bummed that I currently can’t afford a CKO 3 month membership, I’m grateful I took their classes because their instructors made me question my *why* for working out and activate parts of my inner strength that I didn’t know existed. I love that kickboxing is a total body workout, so all I had to do was show up and not think about my routine - such a nice change from half-marathon training, where I often planned my week(s) in advance. Every single part of my body ached -for days- after each kickboxing class, but I always woke up pumped and excited for my next class. 

I mailed a $1,200 cheque for my student loan payment - this is the most amount of money I’ve sent in the past 5 months since I started paying back my student loans, and I plan to stay consistent with this amount until August. It hurts to send that much money knowing that I could have used $200 of that for a CKO membership, but … priorities are priorities, and I’m not someone who gives up on their goals. Making slow and steady progress towards paying my $50,000 student loan in 5 years. 

I signed up for my first month of Skillshare and took a variety of online classes, at least 1 hour a day, 2-3 times a week. I wasn’t sure if I would like taking their online classes, but I was hooked once I found engaging instructors who taught in-depth classes on social media marketing, personal branding, nutrition, and fitness. As a proud nerd, I’m beyond pleased with this 99 cents investment (thanks to a promo code from The Financial Diet). I’ll be continuing with Skillshare until May and then evaluate if I’d like to continue my trial premium membership. 

I updated my LinkedIn and gave it the revamp it deserves. 

I devoured (and reread) my first science fiction books: Parable of The Sower (Earthseed #1)and Parable of The Talents (Earthseed #2) by Octavia Butler. I didn’t think I would like science fiction / dystopian reads … but now, I do! I also think everyone should read Butler’s Earthseed novels because they provide realistic scenarios of what America’s future could look like under Trump’s reign. 

[heynells-blog1]

FOMO only comes in when you open the door. Journey > Destination.

something I tell myself whenever I start comparing myself against another person

[heynells-blog1]

As a WOC in the Non-Profit Sector

I was honored to be on the Women Of Color In the Public and Social Sectors panel organized by Pace University’s Women’s Leadership Initiative and Wilson Center. Below are some of the questions they asked - with my [unfiltered] responses. I didn’t get to say everything I wanted to say because being on a panel with three other individuals requires giving concise answers. I thought it’d be helpful to share this here as insight to the nonprofit life and a background of who I am to people who stumble across my corner of cyberspace.

Disclaimer: One of the best parts of this panel was sitting next to one of my best friends, Alvi Rashid of She’s The First, on stage.

How did you get to the place you are now?

My position with ARTE was obtained through hard work (creating things at Pace University) and social media. When I was managing ARTivism Galleries during my senior year at Pace, I was researching NYC nonprofits on Twitter and stumbled onto ARTE. I saw that they were having a Professional Development Workshop and I knew I wanted to attend. I tweeted ARTE, told them I really wanted to come but couldn’t afford the workshop fee, and I asked if I could pay a “student rate”. The person on the other end (my boss) said yes. We met at the workshop, I felt a synergy with her and ARTE’s mission, and I started interning for ARTE right after I graduated (May 2017). I was officially hired in January this year as their first Communications and Development Coordinator / Programs Consultant, and it’s been wild.

Background on some activities I did as an undergrad/grad student at Pace: co-founded and did community organizing for #PaceUEndRape, co-founded and organized pop-up art-activism events for ARTivism Galleries, volunteered as a Democracy Coach for Generation Citizen and eventually managed the Pace chapter, and other internships / research projects / volunteer gigs that fall under anti-violence and civic engagement issues. I did all of those extracurricular activities while working 2-3 on-campus jobs (since my sophomore year) to earn money for living expenses - being an international student is expensive. The point of sharing all this is to reiterate the importance of trying and failing at things in college because that’s how you’ll gain the most from your [average] $40,000 experience. I picked up a lot of skills from all my experiences and that’s helped me take calculated risks as a digital strategist and grant writer.

What do you know now that you wish you knew earlier in your career?

Though I’ve been involved with the nonprofit sector for 5 years, I’m just starting out in my career … how-to’s and practice on dealing with ageism, sexism, and being stereotyped as an Asian - basically, how to deal with microaggressions. Dealing with those things is a learning experience for me. A lot of people are more interested in my “young face” and being surprised that I have a Master’s degree that my meetings with people often get sidetracked from the agenda. 

It’s also interesting that people automatically assume that I’m “Asian American” when I’m actually “Asian-Canadian”. I always feel conflicted and out-of-place after I share that with people because [since graduating] I’ve been struggling with feeling like I don’t belong in America. 

What skills should be built in order to obtain an entry-level job?  

In no particular order:

1. creative problem solving

2. project management

3. communication skills

4. active and empathetic listening

5. humor - the ability to laugh and/or stay positive during unfortunate/annoying moments 

One of the first (of many) questions you should ask your boss is “What are the problems the org/business is facing?” so that you can determine how to prioritize your tasks and align your individual responsibilities with your team’s goals. Work smart +  build community with your work crew = produce outstanding work. A team is only as strong as its weakest link #SOLIDARITY

How important is a Master's or PhD? And in which fields?

For the nonprofit sector, I believe a Master’s isn’t so important (says the girl who has a Master’s). A Master’s is simply a check-mark stating that you have the *education* required for the position, but it doesn’t mean you have the *experience* for it. When I was interviewing for nonprofit positions, none of the interviewers were really interested in my Master’s - the only acknowledgement I received was one interviewer asking my age multiple times because she couldn’t believe I was “so young to have a Master’s.” 

If you’re interested / want to get a Master’s, make sure to research the program down to the very last detail (check out the required classes, ask about general frequency of courses, look up the background of the faculty and research opportunities, how the capstone thesis is set up, etc.), calculate how much money it will cost, and consider the timing of when you would get your Master’s. Most importantly, think about your career goals and conduct email/phone informational interviews with other people working the jobs you want to get their thoughts. 

Why did I pursue a Master’s? I attended Pace thanks to the Pforzheimer Honors College scholarship, and my offer letter stated that my scholarship could be renewed for a fifth year if I enrolled in a Combined Degree BA/MPA Program. I didn’t take that line seriously until the spring of my sophomore year. After talking to the head of Pace’s Women’s and Gender Studies Department, I decided to pursue a Master’s because I calculated that I would save a ridiculous [large] amount of money doing this Combined Degree BA/MPA compared to a traditional grad school program.

I was the youngest student - and one of the few WOC - in my MPA classes and a lot of my classmates (average age: late 30′s) told me I was wise for pursuing my Master’s at a young age. While their encouragement made me feel better, there were many moments when I questioned the value of my MPA. 

I have many complicated feelings about getting a Master’s, but I am still grateful to have worked hard for it. 

What are some future trends/changes that you think students interested in these sectors should be aware of?

1. Using data science to produce digital content - data analysis skills are needed everywhere for everything 

2. Crowdfunding > donor funding

3. More collaboration between nonprofits due to smaller spending budgets

How much truth is there to the perception that if one enters these sectors (particularly non-profit work), it will be very difficult to make ends meet, particularly at the beginning?

This has been / is 100% true for my experience. I’m open about this because having to pay back my $50,000 student loan debt (which I started in Dec. 2017)  was initially quite stressful because of my small income. I have to work as a part-time babysitter for 3 families AND do freelance work to supplement my income. Having to do all those things takes up huge chunks of my week - it barely leaves me time to work-out and see my friends, but I make it work because I am determined to pay off my student loan debt in 5 years. I’m privileged to live with my family so it saves me $$$$ on rent, but I pay for half my groceries (I’m vegan, while my family is not), eating-out, and personal expenses. I am now a whiz at stretching my budget to a very thin degree - but this is not how anyone should live (though of course, WOC are more susceptible to attaining financial security). 

Hard Truth: If you want to work in the nonprofit sector, be prepared to work one or more side gigs. 

Entering the nonprofit sector usually means making financial sacrifices, so be mindful of your socioeconomic status and your life-goals. If you want to work for nonprofits but currently don’t have enough money to support yourself, I strongly advise looking at higher-paying jobs that will afford you some stability after graduation. It is so, so important to take care of yourself and make sure you have enough to live on. Financial security is important. There is NO shame in pursuing higher money opportunities OR going to a community college OR taking a break from school to work OR doing whatever suits your life circumstances because you need money to live. Accumulate enough savings, continuously build connections in the nonprofit sector, and then consider committing yourself to the nonprofit sector. There are always other ways you can support nonprofits. 

What courses or other preparation would you advise current students to pursue, if they want to have purpose-driven careers?

You should always, always be learning something new - no excuses.  

Courses I think everyone should take:

- Design thinking

- Project Management 

- Coding 

- Learn another language

I adore Skillshare as a learning platform and I am constantly on the hunt for interesting MOOCs (Massive Online Open Courses). Currently loving University of Alberta’s “Indigenous Canada” MOOC. 

Book Recommendations: 

The Revolution Will Not Be Funded  

Emergent Strategy

Other Preparation:

- Do a weekly check-in on your goals and daily life

- Have a health & wellness practice to keep your work and personal life in balance OR to achieve a better sense of work-life integration

- Remind yourself that your worth is not defined by your job title 

What do you do to chill out?

Work out, run, kickbox - exercising is my self-care and helps me work through my anxiety. My 2018 theme is “health is wealth” and I am committed to making sure I don’t burn out from work this year. Burning out puts my creative metabolism at an all-time low. 

[heynells-blog1]

updates on #batgirlintraining

It’s been 1 month since the United NYC Half Marathon. My health & wellness life has been up and down - I was sick for 2-3 weeks after the NYC Half Marathon, and sick to the point that my entire body was in pain and I had constant head aches. During the period I was sick, my wisdom teeth decided to start coming out; I could barely eat anything because chewing brought so much pain to my teeth and gums. My moods alternated between hangry to frustrated to almost-throwing-up because I was also stressed about how I was going to earn money. A significant portion of my income comes from my part-time babysitting gigs, and missing even two days of babysitting is a huge cut. Being the stubborn individual that I am, I showed up to my babysitting gigs on so much medication I almost didn’t feel pain ... at least 75% of the time. Medication is wonderful, but it can get so expensive. 

Once my #sicklife phase was over, the first thing I did was sign up for CKO Kickboxing. I took 3 classes with them for $19.99, and they gave me an extra class pass because I came prepared with my brother’s kickboxing gloves. More thoughts to come soon on my CKO Kickboxing experience.  

After my 4 CKO kickboxing classes, I felt a little lost not knowing what to do with my fitness routine. I love running, but I wasn’t and I haven’t been in the mood to go back to intense race training. Following my 3 month training plan (along with surviving my nonprofit job + PT babysitting gigs) didn’t leave me time to consider “What’s next?” after the NYC half marathon because I was so focused on improving my running technique and mileage. After having one of the kids I babysit talk about how they think they should do “whatever they want without parental permission”, I was inspired by that entitled mini-rant to spend my “running hiatus” trying fitness activities I don’t get to incorporate into my running routine. I’m currently doing HIIT, fumbling my way through Vinyasa Yoga, challenging myself with at-home bodyweight training, and signing up for kickboxing classes with a NYC kickboxing gym. 

It’s been a little weird not going to the gym 5 days a week and not seeing the trainers (hi, david!), but I’ve really enjoyed this time away from exercise machines. I really, really hate the treadmill. Crossing my fingers that we’ll have sunny and warm weather in May so I can start running outdoors without a jacket. 

#batgirlintraining ... is in a happy, inspired place. Worried about climate change, but what else is new? 

[zwmpls]

Happy April!

April is a big month for this blog. On April 13th, zwmpls will be 1 year old! Damn. A whole year of zero waste. Because it’s my blogs birthday month, I wanted to do something fun with the zero waste community!

#30DaysOfZeroWaste

For the next 30 days (the month of April), I’m going to challenge you to do one zero waste act per day.

Going zero waste is difficult, so there’s only one rule to this game: you gotta post about what you did on the #30DaysOfZeroWaste tag so we can follow your progress and cheer you on! I want to see photos and stories all month about all of the cool ways you’ve avoided and diverted waste this month.

Repeats of zero waste acts are allowed, so don’t worry about doing a different thing each day. It’s all about building good habits. And don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day, just keep it going. This is also a good place to ask any questions about zero waste swaps and find solidarity and accountability on Tumblr.

Here’s a list of ideas for your 30 days of zero waste:

Carry a water bottle and fill it yourself.

Bring a coffee mug to your local cafe.

Shop with reusable bags.

Shop with reusable containers like glass, produce bags, or reused plastic containers.

Compost.

Use reusable cutlery instead of plastic.

Recycle responsibly.

Buy ugly fruits and vegetables.

Reduce food waste.

Buy in bulk.

Ride a bike somewhere instead of driving.

Get your takeout with reusable containers.

Buy used rather than new.

Declutter your home.

Refuse free junk.

Borrow from the library rather than buy a book.

Find zero waste swaps in your home.

Read a book on zero waste.

Recycle film plastics.

Drop off hazardous waste.

Plan a zero waste event.

Reduce water usage (showers, dishes, laundry).

Share your food with someone who needs it.

Plant a garden.

Get involved in local politics/community.

Buy products in glass, aluminum or paper rather than plastic.

Eat a meatless meal.

Refuse plastic straws.

Pick up litter when you see it.

And those are just off the top of my head!

Let’s do this, Tumblr!! #30DaysOfZeroWaste

[heynells-blog1]

Rad challenge! I am a zero-waste || #makelesstrash enthusiast, though I am definitely not perfect at it. One thing that I always tell my friends who are interested in transitioning to zero-waste is: 

It’s great that they want to become environmentally conscious at an individual level, but becoming zero-waste is not the most effective solution to combatting climate change. You may feel good as a person, but the impact that you’d be making is at such a small scale and it doesn’t consider how other folx (PEOPLE OF COLOR) are affected by climate change - hint: it’s called environmental racism. As usual, America’s government pushes its neoliberal agenda onto us individuals to *magically fix* climate change through our everyday actions BUT we really need to target big industries (hey, fossil fuel corporations!) that mass produce oil, plastic, and waste and hold them accountable to not polluting Mother Earth.

To clarify: I’m not shaming anyone in the zero-waste || #makelesstrash movement - I applaud everyone’s efforts and enthusiasm for participating and (un)learning behavioral habits of over-consumption. But as a WOC who’s ben in the zero-waste || #makelesstrash community for 1.5 years now, I see too much conversation on “these are the [x] things I’m doing to reduce my carbon footprint and yay I also become a minimalist” when those conversations need to be decentralized and focus on the community, economical, and environmental impact of reducing waste. Let’s utilize individual AND collective action! 

Zero-Waste Essential Reading: 

Inclusivity In the Zero Waste Movement by Olivia Lapierre

Nonprofit Be Zero by Andrea Sanders 

[heynells-blog1]

Easter Weekend // Rutgers Ecological Preserve

[heynells-blog1]

March 2018 // Wins

I spoke on Pace University’s Queer Society’s panel, “Artists in Activism: How To Use Art for Education, Inspiration, and Social Change”.  

I ran the #UnitedNYCHalf Marathon and raised $1,115 of my $1,000 goal for Center Against Domestic Violence. I still can’t believe I ran a half marathon and raised more than my $1000 goal - I’m so blessed by everyone who supported me in this! 

I mailed a $1,1000 cheque for my student loan payment - this is the most amount of money I’ve sent in the past 4 months since I started paying back my student loans. I was so proud to write the cheque because I was only able to send that amount by sticking to my extremely lean budget and automatically depositting extra income into my bank account. 

I opened a retirement savings fund with a bank that offers high-yield interest rates. I’ve been putting this off since December because of #lifethings and not having money to put into the account, but I finally did it! One of my big goals for 2018 is to continue my baby steps towards financial security, and I’m now making it a habit to deposit at least $5 a month into my retirement fund. (That minimum deposit will definitely increase once I get more side gigs and/or find a side gig that pays me my worth.)

I finished reading 2 books: Emergent Strategy and We Are All Completely Besides Ourselves . I’m 1 book behind on my goal to read 30 books in 2018, but I’m confident I’ll catch up in April. 

[heynells-blog1]

#batgirlintraining for United NYC Half Marathon

“It’s amazing what your mind can do once it sets out to achieve something.”

On March 18th, I had the privilege of running the United NYC Half Marathon. 21,965 runners and I ran 13.1 miles through Brooklyn and Manhattan, with the final stretch of the race ending in Central Park. Despite strong winds and 30 degrees temperature, it was fun being surrounded by runners and strangers cheering us on.

I am not a winter runner. There were many times I wanted to cry at each mile marker; but I held it back knowing that each mile brought me closer to the finish line. I was so focused on crossing the finish line that I didn’t hear one of my best friends call my name!

I’m relieved that 2.5 months of half marathon training is over. Working out has become an integral part of my mental, emotional, and physical well-being that the way I prioritize it has become a non-negotiable slot in my schedule. It’s fanatic, and also a bit ironic coming from the girl [in high school] who swore she would never workout in adulthood.

As with all things that come to an end, it’s important to reflect on how half marathon training affected my personal growth. These are 5 things I learned about myself while training for the United NYC Half:

I am limited by the boundaries I place on myself

A common theme that pops up in every training session, and the most important one for me to remember. 5 years ago, I could barely run 3 miles and motivate myself to go the gym. That changed when I identified the obstacles and root causes for why I resented working out; most of those feelings were rooted in the self-deprecating behavior I adopted in high school for not being “fast enough” according to the standards of gym class.

Since I didn’t meet those fitness standards and didn’t get an A in gym class, I didn’t see the point of working out if I was going to be judged against standards that didn’t promote joy. Now, I realize the power of shifting my way of thinking and view hard tasks as opportunities for growth.

In the past 2.5 months, I’ve ran in the rain and 30 degree weather, woken up at 4:45am for morning runs, and squeezed in evening runs even when I didn’t feel like running. I hate running in the cold, but I was determined to stay consistent in my training plan. My “fighter mentality” came out every single time my brain said “no”. I adopted the same attitude for my vegan food plan, and making the decision to cut out fried food and food with refined sugar. Consistency = commitment = success.

Taking care of my body is an ongoing commitment and little improvements go a long way

A new component that I added to my training plan was mindfulness practices – meditation and yoga. I did this because I wanted to start my day with good intentions and remind myself of my “bigger picture” for running. Implementing meditation and yoga into my everyday life kept me calm and focused. It wasn’t always easy for me to make time for meditation and yoga, but I learned that I was more cranky and more prone to stress if I didn’t starting my day with those activities.

I gained a stronger sense of body love

I didn’t always have a healthy relationship with my body. I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia, and there were times when I didn’t want to eat (even when I was hungry) because I didn’t want to get “fat”. Running and working out allowed me to develop positive thoughts about my body and feel grateful for its strength and endurance. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t like my body, I wrote gratitude lists for actions my body achieved during that workout. I didn’t always have good training sessions; but, writing down what I did that day made me grateful for showing up and finishing my routine.

Support crews are everything

My motivation for running the last 3 miles and speeding through the finish line came from thinking about the online and offline support I received from individuals who shared and/or donated to my Center Against Domestic Violence fundraising page, and also from those who sent texts of encouragement before the race. I’m especially grateful for my partner who showed up to every Sunday long run; he ran or yelled words of encouragement, and made sure to remind me of each training’s victories every single day. I know that I am strong – but I am stronger with community.

Believing in oneself is the most important thing for doing anything

Say this to yourself once, twice, thrice – however long it takes to absorb this. Believing in myself was crucial for me at the beginning of my training season, as there were several times I doubted my ability to run more than 9 miles in winter weather.

Showing up to every training session was a bet I took on myself. As I prepared in the morning, I’d ask myself – Will I show up? Will I run harder and faster today? My self-competitive attitude thrived on those questions because I was calling the shots on myself to prove myself wrong. Most importantly, it also made me reflect on my purpose for running. For me, running is an equally mental exercise as it is a physical activity; knowing my “why” kept me grounded and determined to perform better than the day before. I can’t stress this enough: Knowing your why is an essential building block for how you’ll achieve your goal(s) and what you need to do to succeed, and the first step to accomplishing anything is believing you can do it.

I’m grateful for everyone’s love and support during half marathon training. I’m not sure if I want to run another half marathon because I have conflicting feelings on the financial and environmental factors involved (signing up for races is expensive, and each race produces a lot of paper and plastic waste). I’m still thinking about what fitness activities I’ll be doing next. I know that running will continue to be a part of my health + fitness routine, and I intend on improving my average mile per minute.