The Saltiest Of All The Sea-Dogs

Occasionally NSFW. Writer, music aficionado, wrestling fan, professional Spongebob historian, pansexual, give me a burrito and you get three wishes.

[thelongchamps]

[roadstarna6]

[rylandsgrace]

CHAPPELL ROAN

Edinburgh Summer Sessions (26.08.25)

[woodrider]

ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

[gay-irl]

[judgejudyofficial]

yeah u freaks up north look and sound exactly like this when u pretend that us southern queers are perfectly complicit in our own eradication - for the heinous crime of not living in a liberal population center.

[hoshikostar]

[glitterygolem]

I keep this image on hand for whenever I see similar sentiments.

[pissvortex]

[pissvortex]

[90percentmarten]

imagine an interview between both of them. it would be straight up deadly

[tropiyas]

we need more public transport

[popepauljohn]

[thedankmemes]

[brightwanderer]

Extremely Important Update: in April 2023 the World Bird Sanctuary had an orphaned eagle chick in need of care, so they decided to see if Murphy could live up to his parental ambitions.

He successfully raised the chick, which is now thriving with the other juvenile eaglets!

Congrats Murphy, you made it happen through sheer determination.

(Pictures are from the Facebook page of the World Bird Sanctuary; I can’t link them directly because I don’t have a FB account and the site is a nightmare to interact with if you’re not logged in, constantly resetting and kicking you to registration pages.)

[ximen]

Update: Murphy’s foster chick has now been released back in the wild!

[silver-tongues-blog]

[kaijutegu]

PLEASE BE HETEROSEXUAL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[kaijutegu]

I should probably explain that.

These two are American crocodiles! They are a vulnerable species and it's been decades since Sanibel Island has had breeding American crocodiles, and because of how safe the island is for animals- more than 75% is a nature reserve- it would be an excellent spot for them to breed! This would be a wonderful place to raise baby crocodiles!

[despondent-beauty]

Apparently, homosexual behavior is pretty common in American crocodiles? At least according to the St. Augustine Crocodile Farm study, which was conducted 40 years ago and might have methodological flaws. I haven't checked.

[kaijutegu]

That study was on American alligators! I have a whole big write up of it here if you want to see that talks about some of the methodologies and implications of the results!

[kaijutegu]

They've been spotted again!

Same pond, same position, slightly different location on the shoreline. Apparently the bigger one is a fine pillow.

[kaijutegu]

GODDAMMIT THEY'RE LESBIANS

[kaijutegu]

This is in addition to the OTHER female/female crocodile pair on Sanibel, who are engaging in courtship in this picture. This is one of the girls about half a second from mounting the other and engaging in cloacal rubbing. I love being friends with the wildlife biologists down there, they are so kind to tell me about the large lizard-esque lesbian lovefest that this year's AmCroc breeding season has become.

[kaijutegu]

So uh

One of the lesbians just moved into some lady's back yard and built a nest.

Sanibel woman shares backyard with nesting crocodile, city monitoring it

A Sanibel woman is finding herself living alongside an unexpected new neighbor—a crocodile.

Now, these could be duds. But they might not be!! The new lady could have shown up gravid or retained sperm. Or we could be looking at something highly unusual and there's gonna be a litter of crocodile Jesuses.

Either way, this is EXTREMELY exciting. Let's go, lesbians!!!

[spectrometrie]

things i made very stoned and don’t remember doing

[shadowpeoplearejerks]

The Great Gatsby

[previoustags]

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

[karma-crystal]

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

[banderboucher]

The idea of spontaneously getting on a train and going somewhere far might be romantic in another country but England is too small for that. Pull an Eternal Sunshine and go where? Fucking Slough? Go to fucking Slough and get a fucking boots meal deal?

[birthdaysongs]

i only understand about 60% of the words in this post but i still think its funny

[muirneach]

x

[rylances-deactivated20170212]

did the beat go off?

i nut and then my meat go soft? 

[rylances-deactivated20170212]

her daughters got the whooping cough?

[rylances-deactivated20170212]

i brake and let the children cross?

[djset]

Tom Hardy

[ampervadasz]