IX: THE HERMIT

THE HERMIT symbolizes withdrawal from events and relationships to introspect and gather strength.

[hizzashii]

--and I hope for a trace to lead me back home from this place;

but there was no sound there was only me, and my disgrace

private yoriichi tsugikuni, canon-divergent, written by ari! you'll mostly find me @tsukkiakarii

[sandshield]

and it was rare gaara was thanked, even now. a moment of surprise makes its way to his features, before he thinks over the most appropriate way to respond.

"… … …" they both looked very similar — was this her family that she had left behind? he could see it in her eyes, whether she talked about it or not — her behaviour spoke of forgoing something that she inevitably outgrew.

— but even so, it was good to see he still cared for her.

"you're worried," he finally says, "because she's precious to you."

"…does it… hurt?" he doesn't elaborate.

[hizzashii]

he would have been content to continue on his way, returning to being the doll haunting the far corners of the room and away from the eyes of others. silence were taken as assumption gaara understood him, and simply lacked more to say.

but the question gives ningyō pause, despite the impassive expression upon his features, nary even a twitch. he doesn't mean it. he doesn't know how to be any other way, even less so now.

now, that he is this.

"...unfathomly," ningyō eventually admits, as if understanding existed between the two without words. "aneue is very different from when we were young, both or better and for worse--but there exists a gulf. i cannot reach her."

[hizzashii]

@sandshield ☀️ starter!

though he watches, a curiosity nagging, ningyō does not approach. not yet, at least: it's difficult to tell how much he knows and how much is merely his own avoidant nature when the doll demon's expression gives nothing away.

"...i'm glad you're kind to her. aneue has experienced little of that, i fear. please do not give up on her."

of course his first words would be a thanks, for kokushibō's sake.

[hizzashii]

akaza gestures for him to bend down, before decorating his horns with little blossoms he'd found in doma's yard (not wisteria, promise). (from compassneedle!)

@compassneedle ☀️ unprompted!

and where kokushibō possessed a tendency to simply bend down, to be reached yet remaining so large in comparison to akaza--ningyō instinctively bends his knees instead, lowering his body to bring himself down closer to the smaller demon's size.

though it means he has no way to hide the blush upon tanned skin as unruly hair is decorated in blossoms, pleasant scent of florals reaching his nose; as a human, he may have never noticed the delicate note.

but despite the blush, he smiles to his fiance.

"thank you, my heart."

[compassneedle]

and it was conflicting, the way he thought about ningyō — both cursed and blessed with knowledge of what he could remember. there was undoubted pain in those pink hues, but equally — at least he was able to move past it, when ready.

however, despite these conflicting feelings akaza held — his love for the doll emerges amidst everything. when he needs an anchor, he will be that for him — so thus, gently and slowly, he brings the other into an embrace.

an embrace akaza needed just as much.

"don't rush it," said gently, "you don't have to put it down, forget it, nor abandon it. you just have to grow around it."

"you're a lot like a tree, yoriichi, gentle and peaceful — i don't feel an ounce of violence within you," ironic; akaza thought every slayer had that feeling until he met ningyō, "so like a tree, you'll just find a place for it in your branches and roots. if you continue to grow, it'll be like it was never there at all."

"and maybe," a pause, "maybe then, it'll be a little easier."

[hizzashii]

there were an irony in it, if ningyō put thought into it: it seemed each twin would always long for what they did not have, but whilst his sister were consumed by greed, a snake devouring its own tail...the doll simply sat in place, a possession or trophy to others.

yet there is something familiar in the conflict within those golden eyes: it reminds him of the way kokushibō looks towards him sometimes, when he catches her gaze before she turns away from him. akaza doesn't turn from him however, that push and pull clear to see, and ningyō holds onto the smaller demon just a bit tighter as he's gathered into the hug.

it is different, he knows, yet akaza and kokushibō were truly so alike.

but he listens quietly, nuzzling himself against his fiancé whilst being mindful of the horns crowning his head. he doesn't know if he's attempting to comfort akaza or himself as a soft purr rumbles, still such a quiet sound from one too accustomed to possessing no voice of his own.

"...thank you," akaza were so often something sharp, something forceful, yet all of that melted away, giving way to the gentleness he always displayed towards ningyō. it were something he never lost sight of. "maybe...maybe, when everything is over, it will be easier. when everyone has room to heal."

and yet, despite it all, he always thought of others first.

[demcnsden]

The young demoness fluffed her wings like a newborn chick trying to get used to her new muscles. Her body felt wrong to her, and it made the woman's skin crawl as her claws left her throat. Her heart was beating frantically like a prey being cornered by a predator, but she could feel the fangs against her lips. Tilting her head, violet hues glanced up at the older demon as she listened to him speak a name, then asked for hers.

Closing her eyes, she was trying to remember anything before this moment, but it felt like she was being submerged under water. A male's voice was speaking softly, like begging and pleading, as he repeated a name over and over again. However, the source of the voice was a dark shadow as nothing else could be made out. "Hina...My name is Hina." Unknowly, it was only part of her true name, as this was an affectionate nickname her beloved husband always called her.

Hinatsuru's head was throbbing as her voice was hoarse and cracked from her not consuming anything. Opening her eyes, she kept glancing at her body and flexing muscles before slowly standing up. Her stomach was rumbling as she could smell blood and the rotting flesh surrounding them. However, her mouth was not watering as she felt more disgusted than anything. It reeked of stench and death, which made her feel uncomfortable.

[hizzashii]

so often when one were turned, they couldn't resist their own body: attacking and devouring anyone nearby, doing anything they could to soothe their own hunger. he has seen it countless times over the centuries, their own wills completely destroyed as even loved ones fell to them--

but it quickly becomes clear that she is one of few.

the blade previously held in his hand is returned to sheathe at ningyō's hip, and he instead reaches out to steady hina as she stands, wordlessly noting her disgust towards the scent of blood and sight of gore surrounding them.

"come with me, hina--away from here."

lest the hunger grow too great after all.

"you must be tired; i can bring you somewhere safe, and bring you something to soothe the hunger you must feel. will you accompany me?"

he will not force her...but at least for now, as a mere fledgling demon, ningyō still quietly hopes she will.

[compassneedle]

and there was a hitch of breath as the other's hand rests upon his own — too caught up in thoughts of what was about to happen, perhaps ningyō was the only thing keeping him grounded, during these precious seconds.

"…" akaza doesn't respond for some time, still deep in thought — his head turns, looking off to the village that he knew held his old home. they were close, but strangely for akaza, he feels hesitant to make the final steps.

brows then furrow, frustrated at himself — however, as he looks back to the other, that frustration is soon joined by a moment of patience. ningyō always had that affect on him; helping him float back to earth, before another bout of wind made him soar again.

"…i'm nervous," he admits, "theres a part of me that frets seeing everything destroyed or decayed."

"but i don't know what i'll do if i see people there either — i don't know what i want."

[hizzashii]

ningyō doesn't mind the silence: as it stretches on, he remains ever patient. instead, there is a gentle tug upon the hand he touches, merely to hold akaza's smaller hand within his own--soon enough, beginning to smooth his thumb over the calloused flesh, innately seeking to soothe and ground in a way that would not be overwhelming to akaza, who already were shouldering so much.

pink eyes had glanced towards the village, following akaza's gaze, seemingly content to simply watch whatever signs of activity he could see. he had never grown up near a village like this: the clan's compound were a sprawling mass to itself in those days, and the nearest village were at the foot of the mountain.

but the moment akaza moves once more, those eyes fall back to him, bathing him in the sun's light as the very edge of a patient smile dawns.

"...when i were exiled from the corps, i had travelled back to the home i had shared with uta. it were not decayed, but i discovered those who would become my family had made a home in it."

he's told akaza of them before, but ningyō speaks anyway. "when i were travelling, i did not know which i wished to find either...but when i found them, i felt relieved that uta's memory would live on in a home filled with laughter."

"however we find it, i only hope it is a state that can bring you comfort--whether as a memorial, or as a continued tribute."

[tsukkiakarii]

because i wanted to actually write out a post as well!! as per recent convos, from here on i will exclusively ship with baphy ( @rabbitprose ) across all of my blogs ( @tsukkiakarii, @hizzashii, and @collossvs )! if i don't have a muse being actively shipped with him, i'm not interested in shipping that muse at all irregardless of previous headcanons.

that is to say, i'm not going to ship with someone who writes as koku's ex-wife for example, nor someone who writes an uta with me, etc etc. non-romantic bonds can be plotted or explored, but anything romantic or sexual is barred to anyone besides baphy himself.

ships we do have established:

@tsukkiakarii

@uppertwo - romantic, married; ☾ for the moon so loves the sun (kokudoma)

@hakuuji - romantic, non-traditional; ☾ you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you (kokuaka)

-- for things relevant to both dōma and akaza as a poly-adjacent dynamic, the tag is ☾ the dragon has three heads (upperthreesome)

@hizzashii

@hakuuji - romantic-engaged; ☼ and in the sea that's painted black (yoriiaka)

@collossvs

@hakuuji - koyuki - mutual crush/puppy love; ❀ there's still time to change the road you're on (hakukoyu)

@uppertwo - kotoha - queerplatonic polyamorous with kokudoma; ❀ to be a rock and never roll (kotodoma)

@nineforms - to be plotted!

@lurkingpoisons - to be plotted!

@livedpurpose - to be plotted!

[rabbitprose]

okay, me and @tsukkiakarii / @hizzashii / @collossvs have been discussing things and i'm deciding to exclusively ship with them across all my blogs. for blogs without ships with ari, assume i do not want to ship. if you have a duplicate of a muse i ship with, i still do not want to ship - but non-romantic bonds can be explored! no problem with that.

ships explored + their tags are as follows:

@uppertwo

kokudoma (romantic, previously polyamorous with kotoha): @tsukkiakarii #look up; see the moon like i do.

kotodoma (queerplatonic polyamorous): @collossvs #remember; remember; please remember who i used to be.

@hakuuji

akayorii (romantic): @hizzashii #there are no flowers in heaven.

kokuaka (bonded, generally messy feelings): @tsukkiakarii #what happened to the love we both knew; we both chased?

hakukoyu* (mutual crushing / puppy love): @collossvs #still i pray the day comes where we'll meet once more.

* notice how it's hakukoyu and not akakoyu? the age diff between akaza and koyuki is not smth i'm comfortable dealing with, and i'll only be really exploring his bond with koyuki in the sense of her being his first love/crush. she may be referenced as someone he used to love, but does not currently love romantically - that being said, she is still his best friend above all.

@lurkingpoisons to be plotted.

@nineforms to be plotted, hints of my akaza (@hakuuji) was interested romantically in him but never was given an opportunity to explore that. again, i'm not gonna ship with other kyojuros or akazas despite this being established canon for both my kyo and akaza - but i'm happy for anything else non-romantic.

[compassneedle]

@hizzashii / closed starter.

it was a long road ahead, guided only by akaza's blurred memory. would they find the place they're looking for? only time would tell. the two of them had traveled for days — and outside of a small village, akaza sits in the woodlands with the other, accompanied only by the moon and trees.

"thank you for coming with me," akaza says to his fiance, "it's — it's not the easiest thing for me to do. for the majority of this traveling, i thought of running back to the temple and hushing any wishes i had to see my old home."

"but this is important," he continues on, "and you make me feel brave enough to confront it."

[hizzashii]

it were almost nostalgic--in the centuries before he had finally found his sister once more, ningyō spent his time travelling upon being exiled from the corps, and it proving too dangerous to remain with his family. as long as it kept the target away from them...

he could tolerate, being so far apart.

but it is different now, travelling with fiance and knowing their family will be waiting for them, that neither will return to corpses. what a cruel twist of fate to realize both knew that pain, but...ningyō held faith. kokushibō will keep her promise.

as akaza speaks, a hand reaches out to rest upon his--a reminder that he isn't alone.

"you needn't thank me--i am happy to. i'm...relieved, that you aren't doing this alone." whether it were ningyō or kokushibō, as long as he isn't alone, as long as he isn't shouldering this pain by himself. "as long as you are ready to face it, i'll carry you forward."

just as the sun carries the day.

[demcnsden]

Starter for @hizzashii

The woman gasped as she sat up after lying on the ground, her hands wrapping around her throat. It felt dry; a thirst lingered as she tried swallowing down anything to see if it would go away. Blinking her deep purple eyes landed on the male standing before her, with limbs littered around them. Her mouth was drooling as she could smell the scent of blood in the air; it was sweet, like a siren calling out to her.

Hinatsuru's fingers twitched around her throat as her claws were digging into her flesh, causing blood to drip down them. Her horns curled around her head like a crown, as her wings fluttered softly on the ground like a baby chick. The woman was hungry and craved to sink her fangs into the tender corpses that lay before her. It was no longer fresh, but her stomach growled loudly. Slowly releasing her grip from her throat, she placed them on the ground, staring as she swallowed down the saliva in her mouth.

The demoness only stared, not sure what to say, as a name was echoing in her mind. Hina. Was that her name, or would she be granted a new one now? Finally, after a couple more moments, she spoke softly, "Who are you…" Her voice was beautiful and enchanting like a songbird as her wings twitched, as she was a little nervous around the other. She was doing her best to be respectful. Her clothing was torn apart and covered in blood from the wounds that would have killed a human, but now there was no trace.

It appeared she had woken up on a battlefield surrounded by slayers, but now just piles of corpses. She had been on the brink of death before she was spared by becoming a demon. Compared to many other newly born demons, she had not lost her mind due to the ravaging hunger. Most devoured and gored themselves until they would return to their senses. Hinatsuru was different, but how much longer she would keep her control was unknown if she did not eat soon.

[hizzashii]

his very existence were contradictory, the sun embodied in the very being he had spent centuries seeking to destroy...only to now be eclipsed, forced to realize there were far more to the world than what he had initially believed for so long.

a disconnect remains, demonic urges pushing him to satisfying a never-ending hunger battling with ningyō's own nature that refused to harm humans--and so he followed in elder twin's footsteps to target demons instead, as much as his stomach still twisted, as much as he truly preferred to sleep than eat anything at all.

it stunted his growth, but ningyō found it a worthy sacrifice.

and he cannot help the sorrow etched into his very bone upon finding the scene, following the scent of bloodshed--a lesser demon felled, but corpses remain.

corpses, and a new demon, as fragile as a baby chick.

though expression customarily remains impassive, pink-hued eyes watch her with a mixture of surprise and pure shock: every other new demon he saw, every new demon he encountered, always sought to consume...but, for the time being, she almost seems harmless.

to whatever degree, she's kept her mind.

"--i'm called ningyō." he holds no right to previous name: an intimate secret, tucked away. now, he is known as a living doll, something shaped like a human but never truly one.

he draws near then, kneeling before the other. "do you recall your name?" how much has remained? a way to judge if she truly were not beyond saving.

[compassneedle]

"that's okay," he immediately responds soon after the initial statement, "i want to know everything. i want to know everything that has lead up to now," perhaps he was a little greedy with the concept of remembering, "i want to know your life, yoriichi."

and then, he listens. it was both shocking and not to hear of kokushibō's condition as a human — difficult to listen to, but understandable nonetheless, considering how much it had affected her, even now.

and then came that plead, and akaza's heart shifts — immediately doubting himself on what to do, his breath seems to quicken in momentary panic.

"…" lips press to a thin line — steady your breathing, "…alright."

the concept of love was always an aching thing for akaza, but ningyō would know her better than anyone else, as much as there was a gap often found between the twins. a little nervously, he gives a shaky nod.

"i will reach out to her, but equally, i want to request you do something," and then comes his own pleading look; an inner knowing bleeding into his expression, "don't regret who you couldn't save."

"i don't want to see that kind of sorrow inside your soul."

[hizzashii]

it were an innate, ingrained habit--the tendency of wanting to please those he loved, longing to gain their favor, desperate to earn his place at their side. he knows he belongs with akaza, ningyō holds no doubt in him...it were just so difficult to let go of, as if that need itself had dug its claws into him.

and he knows the more akaza learns of his life, the more it will weigh upon him for akaza's heart were so utterly full of love. despite his internal fretting, however: "i'll do it, then. i'll tell you all there is."

as long as akaza wants it, ningyō would lay his still beating heart upon the demon's hands.

and how similar they are, as pink eyes see the way akaza likewise grows nervous. a hand reaches out to find his, twining their fingers together--i'm here. you're not alone.

but oh, the pain in ningyō's eyes--sorrow has been etched into his very bones for so long. perhaps their clan were cursed, perhaps father were right in ruin being brought upon them--that hold on akaza's hand subtly tightens, in search of an anchor as well.

"...i don't know where to put this pain, but to carry it. how do i put it down?"

[tsukkiakarii]

important note that, as usual, this is specifically for my yorii aka ningyō ( @hizzashii )!

this is mainly a quick rundown of the confrontation between the twins that, in canon, would have taken place when yorii were an old man/the moments leading up to his death

obviously, it goes much differently for these two: due to the experiments with tamayo involving the blue spider lily, yorii doesn't age--adding another layer to koku's rage upon seeing yorii alive, when all others with the mark perished. alive, and young, and human

this meeting beyond this goes very similarly to canon: yorii is able to cut her throat before koku even draws kyokokukamusari, and would indeed have killed her if he only cut her once more. however, when the time comes to deal that killing blow--he can't kill his own sister. initial blow turned non-fatal when he simply couldn't go through with it

blinded by rage and pain, koku still retaliates: a ferocity, in the way she foregoes her blade in favor of attacking him more directly. in endless irony, she would have torn out his throat with her fangs--but at the last moment, her bite instead lands nearer his collarbone, where his shoulder connects

it is as his blood floods her mouth that her curse binding her to muzan fractures, and it is after consuming this blood her hair gains the bloody red hue whereas it had been purely black before

hidden beneath shapeshifting, koku still has the scar upon her throat of yorii's blade. likewise, ningyō still bears the scar of her fangs taking that bite out of him

blindsided and disoriented by her curse so suddenly and unexpectedly snapping, yorii were able to escape without further injury

only koku knows the reason she never drew her blade is because, reacting to the deeper desires of michi, the vaguely-sentient weapon refused to be drawn--resulting in her initial delay before abandoning it. if she had succeeded in killing yorii via her fangs, she would have betrayed both her honor and her dignity. instead it were an early sign she were not so far gone, paralleling nezuko holding herself back from devouring tanjiro upon initially turning

[compassneedle]

and oh, the shiver that runs down his spine — thumb pressed to his lip, akaza fights to stop a long-winded purr (and loses said fight, almost immediately). reaching up to wrap fingers around the other's hand, soon, a split tongue is sliding over the digit — before just as quickly, he pulls away, amused gaze continuing to rest on ningyō.

"of course i would," a chuckle, "—does that make you happy, knowing how your voice entraps me so?"

"by the way…" tongue comes back out, "what do you think? i made this just for you."

[hizzashii]

as akaza's hand reaches up to grasp his own, something in ningyō's expression softens, especially coupled with akaza's purr. it was a sound he adored: to have the other's happiness so obvious, and it doesn't take long before ningyō begins to echo the sound back to him.

still, there's a soft flush upon sun-kissed cheeks as akaza's tongue glides over his finger, a soft exhale of both surprise and--enraptured. how unexpected, yet not at all unwelcome.

oh, right--akaza asked a question.

"it does; you always hold such sway over me," ningyō is very distracted, a fact far too obvious, "i fear you spoil me, my love."

and he finally gives in, moving finger aside to capture akaza in a kiss instead--a rare moment of boldness, but akaza always knew just how to get reactions out of ningyō, didn't he?

[compassneedle]

and as the conversation is directed back to him, under that curious gaze, akaza feels electricity tear up his spine. sitting much straighter, more stiffly, he can't help the smile that runs along pale lips.

"…i do," not just from his belief that ningyō's anger was justified, but from the sheer instinct to direct as much of that demon-hating anger towards himself. call it instinctual, or perhaps just out of a need to fuel more adrenaline in himself,

ningyō's voice was incredibly exciting, "would you talk to me like that—?"

he can't help but ask him such a question, dripping in ulterior motives, "it makes my heart race, hearing you speak like that. perhaps it's his blood telling me to run or hide or fight, but i can't help but think — it's sexy."

[hizzashii]

he had his suspicions from the moment akaza brought this conversation to light--it isn't like him to take any unnecessary path, after all. the way akaza looked to him, that grin upon his lips--ningyō knew akaza's answer before the words ever left his lips.

"would you enjoy it?"

he knows the answer to this question, too: he knows akaza would enjoy every second of it now. perhaps ningyō just wanted to hear the confirmation, wanted to hear akaza actually say the words.

in a moment of boldness just for akaza, tanned hand reaches up to the other, thumb brushing over akaza's bottom lip as ningyō leans close, his voice dropping in imitation of earlier tone: "i can already see how excited you are; it makes me want to spoil you."

[kyokokukamusarii]

Kokushibo uncrossed his arms when his brother pouted although the pupils of his six eyes turned into slits. “I’m not agitated.. brother. He stated simply.

“I’m just… surprised to see you come to your senses. That’s all.”

[hizzashii]

ah, so that's it--did aneue not tell him? ningyō's manner shifts once more, seemingly drawing back into himself. "...aneue didn't mean it." an accident, sheer dumb luck. was it luck? ningyō, admittedly, didn't remember his transformation well--not beyond spending much of it protected in akaza's arms.

he knows she never would have intended this. "it seems our blood has little choice in what the gods choose to befall us still."

[compassneedle]

@hizzashii

"you should do that to your voice more often," a quirk of a brow, "deeper, bolder, more powerful."

[hizzashii]

"i was angry," he admits, and it is a rare admittance: normally, ningyō's emotions were difficult for him to tell, too much time spent trapped beneath a harsh filter and buried under the masks others placed upon him. times he thinks he feels excitement, or times he assumes is disappointment--but anger? no matter how much right he held to the sensation, it normally slipped from fingers too afraid to grasp it. "i wasn't thinking..."

but then voice trails, a thought clicking over in his brain as he observes his fiancé curiously. "--do you like that voice?"