[twirlingfreckles]

2026 superwholock equivalent is Heated Rivalry, Interview With The Vampire, and somehow still Supernatural

[allstarrocks]

if shane hadnt gotten hit and ilya had really gone over to his place to try and break it off with him i imagine that shane wouldve been sooo happy ilyas here hes coming through the Front Door and he has the code and ilya wouldve been like 'i need to talk to you' and shane wouldve been kind of giddy all smiles 'me too... ive been wanting to ask you - would you, i mean, if you wanted you could come stay with me at my cottage this summer. for a few weeks. or one. or whatever. its really private, we'd have it all to ourselves.' and hed be doing his little frog smile and ilya would just be [tampa hotel room style groan] [tampa hotel room style we cant do this] [fold and cave and say he'll 'think about it']

[sticksandstans]

in context complaints about the lack of on-screen devil's minion this season are really funny. why didn't lestat take time out of his narrative to speculate on what 2 people he hates were doing.

[sunnypeachyy]

Ilya vs Shane on his phone (¬`‸´¬)

bonus:

[cannibalspicnic]

Being offended is not a morally weightier position than not being offended. For conversations about difficult subjects to be productive, that has to be acknowledged.

[weepylucifer]

You know how we call things "pseudoscience"... the media analysis that's being done on twitter and tumblr should be pseudohumanities

[gurlsrool]

Ilya regularly sends people gifs of himself. That’s basically canon to me. But lately I’ve been thinking about how he would also send people gifs of Shane. Confirming plans with a gif of Shane giving a thumbs up. Celebrating good news with a gif of Shane during a celly

Everyone thinks it’s just classic Rozanov being a little shit. But really, it’s the closest he gets to sending people pictures of his boy.

Isn’t he pretty? he thinks. Isn’t he cute? Can you believe he wants me? You’re all laughing, but maybe you wouldn’t be if you knew he was mine. Maybe you’d be as proud as I am. Maybe.

[ilyannarozanova]

Spiritually Hollanov are the two fastest dogs at a park chasing the same ball.

[the-witch-of-the-wandering-ways]

My new period-appropriate crack headcanon is that the boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them if was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest fucking bug

[boitterfly]

heated rivalry x pink in the night by mitski

[margall]

troy is awesome like i literally adore that hes actively thinking abt killing himself in the background of what is in general terms a xmas hallmark movie

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

So does anyone wanna hear about the specific moment in my Irina lives au where during the peak of hollanovs situationship, Irina calls Ilya in the dead of night while Shane is still in the hotel, post-fuck and all warm and lazy with it, except not anymore because Ilya is jumping up and off the bed the second he sees the caller ID and walking into the bathroom and shutting the door, but it's not enough to muffle the conversation, and shane can't speak russian but hysterical sobbing is pretty unambiguous in any language, plus Ilya keeps saying Mama, in a strained, soothing voice, which is equally unequivocal, and Shane is just lying in bed staring at the ceiling, still tacky with cum and sweat, frozen, while Ilya is in the other room clearly talking his mother through some kind of episode and holy shit what does shane do??? Does he leave??? Surely he can't leave.

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

And when Ilya opens the bathroom door, Shane gets a glimpse of his exhausted face - not the look of someone experiencing a big shock, but rather someone in the aftermath of a very familiar battle, Sisyphus walking back down the mountain to fetch his rock - before Ilya spots Shane, still on the bed, and the expression is gone, something hard in its place. Why are you still here? Ilya says and it's cold and mean and full of sneering disdain and the Shane of twenty minutes ago probably would have flinched, would have been upset and humiliated to be spoken to in that way, would have walked right out the door. But the Shane of twenty minutes ago didn't just get a harrowing look at the great bleeding gash that is clearly Ilya's home life, so instead he lets the sheets fall from his still naked body and says I needed a shower, asshole, like everything's the same. And when he brushes past Ilya to step into the bathroom he thinks he manages to look unbothered, unmoved, like someone who didn't just overhear something intensely private, probably. Maybe.

And once Shane has the water running hot, steam fogging up the glass, the mirror above the jack and jill sinks, Shane doesn't turn around when Ilya steps in behind him. Shane doesn't turn around when big broad arms wrap around him from behind, or when he feels a forehead press against his shoulder. He doesn't think about how the body behind him feels like it's collapsing. He just firms his stance and holds up the weight. And when they step out the shower to dry off and Ilya's face is wet, well. Of course it is. They were just in the shower.

They don't talk about it until they're at the cottage years later

[lighthouseweeper]

Armand having a dead wife montage of Daniel with loving looks, smiling with flushed cheeks, running along the beach etc except in the soft focus background they are committing atrocities and Daniel is soaked in blood the entire time

[asneakyfox]

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[asneakyfox]

btw this is maybe the single most key distinguishing feature of the terfy strains of radical feminism, the seed all the rest of it springs out of: they have absolutely no faith in the ability of feminism to actually destroy patriarchy. they do not think feminism can truly build a better world. they cannot really even imagine that possibility. they think patriarchy is an inevitable natural consequence of unchangeable biological facts, and therefore the goal of feminism can only be to mitigate the worst effects of patriarchy, not to get rid of it.

they can imagine a society where women get some designated safe spaces without men around. they cannot imagine a society where the presence of men is not inherently a danger to women.

[fractally]

People still get mad at me about the Svetlana thing like they'll be all "excuuuuse me why can't a woman just have ''casual' sex with her male friend for 10 years and do WAG stuff for him and wait alone in his house for him to get home wearing his team's clothing. why can't we just be normal about that and understand that it's normal" and I'm staring straight into the camera like it's the office

[fractally]

Anyway I've said this so many times it's lost meaning but my point was and is that while it's absolutely possible for people to have platonic sex, the relationship shown on screen between Svetlana and Ilya does not read as cool girl who hooks up with her friend and it means nothing, too me.

That's fanon Sveta. And that's fun and fine and in my personal opinion preferable but it's just not what we got on screen! That's my point!

I feel like people really struggle with me saying "this is the interpretation of the material that makes the most sense to me" versus me saying "this is how I want the character to be"

I strongly prefer versions of Svetlana where she has a life outside Ilya and it's somehow believable that their sexual history isn't emotionally messy (I think that's tricky to pull off, but can be done). My point is just that I think that is largely incompatible with what's on screen! You have to do a looooot of fanon character nudging to get her into that position

[bipolar4autistic]

he really does think Ilya SO funny

[boringmenace]

Ilya doesn’t have the best relationship with sleep.

It’s… fine, overall. But he knows that sleep doesn’t come as easily to him as it does to the average person. It takes time for him to get his brain to turn off all the way, it takes a few tosses and turns to get comfortable. It can even be hard to stay asleep sometimes, the smallest of sounds or movements from a teammate in a hotel room can jostle him right awake at random hours of the night.

Unless he sleeps on Shane. Not even next to Shane. But on top of Shane.

The first time it happened was at the cottage. It was their first night together and Ilya had found himself curled up on Shane’s lap in front of the fire, Shane’s fingers soothingly scrunched in his hair, scratching at his scalp in just the best way. And Ilya was tired. Exhausted from the flight, from the anxiety of facing this large expanse of time he was to spend with the man he loved but had not expressed it, and opening up about his mother was the final blow, leaving him so emotionally drained that the flames licking in front of him just turned into an orange blur.

He wanted to stay there forever, with Shane’s thighs pillowing him, a hand rubbing up and down his body with another in his hair. So he closed his eyes. 

Ilya had no idea he had fallen asleep until he later felt rubbing at the space behind his ear on the edge of his jaw, Shane’s voice guiding him back to consciousness. “It’s late, Ilya,” Shane murmured. “Why don’t you start heading to bed while I put out the fire? I’ll be right behind you.”

Ilya made sure to stay awake until Shane clambered into the bed ten minutes later.

The next time was only days later. Shane was sitting across from him on the couch, their feet pressed together, his eyes shining, voice wobbling as he said “Don’t marry Svetlana." Ilya couldn’t stop himself from standing up, gathering the blanket that had been draped over him, and flopping into Shane’s side.

“I’m fine,” Shane had begun to protest as Ilya pulled the blanket over them both.

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” Ilya replied simply, squirming up against Shane until he could tuck his head on Shane’s shoulder, forehead pressed to his neck. “Maybe I’m just cold.”

Shane scoffed and looked back down at his phone, Ilya quickly scanning the screen. “Are you really reading hockey shit right now?” 

He felt Shane shrug against his head. “I know, I know. Call me boring, I accept it.”

Ilya grinned and snuggled closer. “Is fine. You’re good pillow either way.”

Shane rested his head on Ilya’s and began to scroll, and Ilya could do nothing but close his eyes, and let sleep take him in seconds. He was woken up again later, Shane gently whispering in his ear to coax him to bed.

…Only to wake him later in the middle of the night, promptly kicking Ilya’s ass with a detailed plan about how they could spend the rest of their lives together. Ilya passed out on Shane like a human sized weighted blanket, tears still wet on his face.

The sweetest time Ilya did it at the cottage was in front of Shane’s parents. The day after Shane came out to them, Yuna and David stopped by for dinner. Eventually the group sat by the fire, stars twinkling in the sky, and Ilya could feel himself crashing. Between the sex and the emotional conversations, the amount of sleep he was having was not enough, and he could feel it. Shane and his parents were chatting around him and Ilya lost focus, leaning over his knees and staring into the fire, trying to focus on the shapes of the flames to keep his eyes open.

He eventually felt a gentle pull at his shoulder. It was Shane guiding him to lean back against the back of the couch with him, tucking Ilya into his neck and shoulder once again. Ilya wanted to object, but found himself curling into Shane’s warmth, and closed his eyes. 

Shane didn’t wake him this time, instead the continued voices pulled him back to awareness. He kept his eyes closed and listened to the conversation, not wanting to lose the way Shane held him. Ilya began to realize that they were talking about him.

“-been really tired these past few days. It’s been a lot for both of us.”

“I can imagine,” Yuna replied softly. “He seems quite comfortable with you.”

“He’s been doing this a couple of times,” Shane’s grip on Ilya’s shoulder tightened in a squeeze. “Knocks right out on me.”

“Because he knows you’re safe.” Yuna said. Then, after a stretch of silence, “He seems like a really sweet boy.”

“Yeah,” Shane said after a beat. “He is.”

It took everything in Ilya not to smile.

And it became a regular occurrence after that. Shane would joke that Ilya was just using him as a cheat code, since being on top of him seemed to magically make Ilya pass out in seconds, but Yuna’s words stuck with him. The safety that Shane gave him was unlike anything he ever had, and he took advantage of that whenever he could. Over the following years, Ilya would always find himself flopping on top of Shane whenever possible. Shane would be reading his book in bed in his adorable glasses and Ilya would press into his neck, read a few words of his boring hockey book, and sleep. He would drape himself over Shane on the couch, press his face into Shane’s chest, and sleep. Once they’re on the Centaurs together, he would sleep on Shane during flights because planes made him more nervous after the emergency landing and would rather not be conscious. 

And as for Shane? Shane loved it. He loved every part of it. He loved the moment he could feel Ilya’s body slacken, he loved the soft snoring noises he would make. And he especially loved when he would wake Ilya up. He would blink up at Shane so softly and scrub at his eyes, smiling dreamily as Shane rubbed whatever part of his body that he had access to. And Ilya would always tilt his head up for a kiss, which Shane would of course oblige. And Ilya would make the cutest noise on the planet, only reserved for these moments, where Shane wakes him up to herd Ilya to wherever he needs to be next. It’s just the softest noise of contentment and peace, sometimes Shane would kiss him a second time just to hear it again. 

So, sure. Ilya may not have the best relationship with sleep. But he’s found a human sized freckled body pillow that has made it a lot better.