...But I Might Just Be Bipolar and High. @holly-cuileann - Tumblr Blog

Taken from a friend of a friend.

This friend of mine has been very consciously raising her young daughter outside of stereotypical gender norms. They’ve done quite a number on my friend, and she’s like, “Nope, my kid’s life will be different.”

Her daughter is small for her age, and will probably remain small. This has affected her self-confidence. Earlier this year, my friend decided to tell her daughter a slightly sanitized version of Arya Stark’s journey in GoT, to basically demonstrate how a small girl could learn to be badass.

Six months go by, and the daughter turns from 5 to 6. Her mom asks her what she wants for her birthday. The daughter says, “I want to learn how to fight.” So my friend, who has zero martial arts experience, looks up a place, and they go there.

The moment they get there, my friend is thinking, “This may not be the right place.” It’s a Krav Maga/MMA gym. Lots of burly dudes beating the crap out of each other, basically. Not your kid-friendly karate dojo.

But she doesn’t want to tell her daughter that they have to leave because the place is filled with intimidating men – it would pretty much fly in the face of everything she’s trying to teach her. So she says, “Okay. I don’t know if they have a kid’s class here. Why don’t you go ask who the teacher is, and then ask them?”

So her daughter walks up to one dude, asks for the teacher, then gets pointed to this tattooed, musclebound dude with his head shaved and a goatee. As my friend put, “The guy looked like your bigger, meaner younger brother.”

She trails behind her kid a bit, ready to step in, and listens in. Her daughter walks up the guy and says, “Hi! Do you have classes for kids? I want to learn how to fight.”

The guy looks down at this wee little girl, and he says, “Uh, well, no, we don’t really. Maybe I can talk to your mom and suggest some places for you? This isn’t really a place for little girls.”

Her daughter reaches into her jacket pocket, pulls out a nickel, holds it out to the guy and says, “Valar morghulis.”

The guy takes the nickel, looks at it, then says, totally deadpan: “Valar dohaeris. Of course I can teach you.”

The mom comes over and says, “I thought you said you didn’t have kid’s classes?” The guy says, “We do now. Come into the office and we’ll work up a training schedule.” The mom: “Do you have any idea how much it’ll cost?” The guy holds up the nickel. “She’s already paid up.”

rubykadobie

This is hecking cool, what happened next?

taijispearman

Given that the event in question only happened about two weeks ago we will see. I will be looking forward to seeing where she is in another five or ten years time.

rubykadobie

Wow… Thanks for sharing this story, and, whenever you can, please update

taijispearman

Will do.

This was something that was shared with my instructor by a fellow classmate Chantalle. I don’t see her all that often as she usually only comes out to our Irish stick fighting and Old Yang Taiji Quan seminars. Will remember to ask her how her friend’s daughter is doing.

ryat-assassin-deactivated201308

So I used to be a martial artist

I started going to the dojo when I was in sixth grade. It was a very masculine environment; there weren’t a lot of other girls there but the male senseis who ran the place were great guys and they genuinely loved having female students because we were such a rarity.

Now back in sixth grade I was tinier even than what I am now, and now I’m only 5’2. Then I was probably even under 5’0. I mean I was a squirt of a kid. But I loved to fight; I loved to be in the ring, I loved the adrenaline rush and I loved having punches hurled at me. It was fun for me. Our dojo did full-contact sparring, which was pretty brutal. These were the only rules:

you must wear a mouth guard and gloves

no hits below the belt

That’s pretty much it.

Anyway every Thursday was Fight Night, where all we did was spar each other. And on my First Night Sensei Diven—who has since passed, bless his soul—paired me up with this really cocky and assholish brown belt to show me the ropes a little. This brown belt kid was bigger than me by a lot; he must have been at least six feet and twice my weight. But man was I excited to get into the ring! I had a fight boiling in my blood.

Now, Sensei Diven was not a stupid man and he hated high-ranking kids that showed a bad attitude. This kid had a bad attitude. So he must have seen the evil gleam in my eye from a mile away and decided it was time for a little improvisation.

Anyway, Sensei yelled, “Start!” and I leapt into fight stance and the other kid didn’t even put his hands up. He was laughing at me, sneering, the whole nine yards. “I’ll give you a free one.” he joked, and he slapped his side. “You barely weigh 100 pounds and you’re a girl. So go ahead, little girl. Hit me.”

And I hit him. I cocked my leg up as high as it would go and roundhouse kicked him right in the ribs with all of my might and all of the contempt I felt for his stupid cocky face which was covered in ugly-ass freckles and his nasty-ass braces. And I heard a crack. Like a real snap! sound. And the kid has a look of surprise on his face like it was nobody’s business, and then he goes right to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

Now, Sensei Diven leisurely strolls over from the group of black belts who are laughing their asses off at me, the tiny little white belt, sending my Goliath to the floor. I mean they’re laughing so hard they look like they’re about to pee themselves. They think it’s a game. And in his great booming voice he hollers:

“Brown Belt! Why are you on the floor? Do you not see this white belt has been assigned to fight you?”

And meanwhile he is just crying. I broke one of his ribs.

And Sensei Diven just squats down next to this poor kid and whispers, “Don’t you know that women are made of pain?”

thecolourfreedom-blog

I AM SCREAMING.

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck-dea

“Don’t you know that women are made of pain?”

madlori

They should tell this story every year on Christmas.

naturepunk

Different Strokes?

I think I left the teller at the bank genuinely disturbed when I told him that “If I can’t afford it, I just don’t buy it.” “What about a car? Do you drive a car?” he inquired, his voice toning on the edge of fear. I told him, “Yeah, I have a vehicle. I bought it used for under $3,000.” He looked physically pained. “What about if you want to buy some kind of new appliance? Or furniture?” he persisted. I stared at him blankly. “My couch was $5.00 at Goodwill. Like…I just buy shit cheap or I don’t buy it at all. The only thing in my life that I make payments on is my house, my bills, and my insurance, and that’s split five ways because I have housemates.” The young man looked horrified? Appalled? And somehow also awed? This guy couldn’t have been much older than me. But it seemed that he’d never even considered the option before of saving up for something to purchase it outright instead of using a credit card. Am I the only person in my general age group (just turned 26) who’s never owned a credit card, and who has forgone basic comforts in order to save up for items so you don’t owe money to anyone, like, ever?

rose-in-a-fisted-glove

If you’re living in the US without a credit card at 26, you’re playing with danger.

No credit is viewed as the same as bad credit. Which means you could be denied if you ever do need to rent an apartment or a car. Hospitals and clinics are also less likely to allow payment plan programs for people without good credit.

The best thing you could do at this point is apply for a credit card you’re eligible for and pay a few things (I do gas and groceries myself) with it each month. As long as you keep it to zero balance each month there is no interest and there will be proof of you not having debt (instead of just the absence of debt).

captainlordauditor

what.

janothar

This is legit how it works. The system requires records on you, or else. So you need a credit card and worse, you need to have a record of using it, even if you pay it off every single month. Unfortunately, the formulas used to determine credit score are secret, so we also have people suggesting that your credit rating is helped if every so often you do pay a bit of interest. The whole thing is a complete mess. If you don’t have a credit rating/history, then any loans you manage to get will be at extremely high interest and will require much more effort than they really should.

captainlordauditor

what

awellboiledicicle

yeaah let me just go get a card that i can’t pay off because capitalism is shit, even if i literally only buy a pack of gum that’d go well

janothar

If you pay it off in full every month there is no interest. Do what OP is doing but put some of that on your credit card and pay it off every month, and soon you will have a very good credit rating.

awellboiledicicle

you skipped right the fuck over the “can’t pay it off” part huh like credit cards are just not a viable thing if you’re poor and have shit income

janothar

And I’m saying to literally not put anything on it if you can’t buy it in cash. And I’m aware that they fuck over poor people, but yeah, that’s the system that’s in place. This is advice for navigating it, which is how to obtain good credit which helps a lot.

redbirdblogs

Right like don’t make minimum payments, put your gas on your credit card then that same day pay the credit card company online then don’t worry about it for another month. It’s an absolutely shit system, but in the event of an emergency it’s good to have.

kedreeva

I have had to explain this to a lot of people in my life, but it’s true- no credit is the same as bad credit. What having (and using) the card actually shows is that you are capable of (and actually follow through on) making regular payments: ie, it is proof of having a steady income (even if you do not actually have a steady income). It is showing you reliably can pay for things you purchase, which is what your credit score is all about.

Think of it this way. You have a credit card, which is your credit tracking device. You use the card to tell someone “I will pay for this thing with borrowed money.” They agree to allow you to pay with borrowed money. You then turn around to your credit card company and say “Thank you for allowing me to borrow your money, I will now pay you back with my own money.” (which, if you repay them promptly enough, you can repay them the exact same amount you borrowed, rather than paying them more than you borrowed [which is what interest is])

The credit card company then recognizes that you successfully borrowed their money AND returned it safely, and they pass that information along to credit tracking companies. Each time you do this, you gain credibility. If you do this enough times, you are considered a credible borrower of money, so that if you ever are in a situation where you need to borrow a large sum of money (for example, a mortgage or a car or a hospital bill or whatever), companies with money will look at how well you have returned money in the past, and say Ah yes, this person repays their debts well, so we can lend them our money this time.

So like, do what the above folks are recommending. Get a credit card and use to to reasonably purchase things you already have to buy- put a batch of groceries on the card. Go home (or wherever you can use the interne), pay it off as if you had paid cash in the store for it. There is no extra fee or interest for doing this, and you are leveling up your credibility in case of emergency later on in life.

buckleupbones

Ok, here’s a guide for the easiest way to do this.

1. get your first baby credit card with the bank that you already bank with. If it has cashback rewards, even better (that’ll be free money later).

2. set that shit up so it pays the full amount, automatically, every month. you don’t have to remember to go home and pay it off, or worry about it at all. You won’t pay interest.

Your first card, especially if you have no credit, is going to have a small limit. Like $500. This is important: credit companies want you to use a certain percentage of the card every month. This is 1-9%. I usually just go straight 5%. If you use too much, you look like a wild card (even if you pay it off every month) and if you use nothing than you’re not proving to them you can be trusted.

So your first card has a $500 limit. 5% of 500 is $25.

Your goal is to use $25/month.

This is about a tank of gas for me. So once a month, I would fill up with this card, and then put it in the back of my wallet until next month. The payment was made automatically by my bank from one account (debit) to the other (credit). Rinse and repeat. I did this for a year.

Then after a year, my credit had skyrocketed (because I had nothing before, and added this good habit for a year). So I called up my bank and asked for them to increase my limit based on my new credit. I had shown them I was good at borrowing a good amount of money and paying it back on time every time.

The bank increased my limit to $5,500. Like holy shit, at the time I was definitely not expecting that.

So new math. 5% of 5500 is $225. So now instead of gas, I put my cell phone bill ($50), my car insurance ($130), and my dog food automatic order ($40) on it.

The best part is everything is automatic. I keep this card in the back of my wallet permanently; all these bills and the automatic payments are, well, automatic. My credit goes up, I rack up cash back rewards, there’s nothing to it.

And, if I ever get in an emergency, like a vet bill for one of my dogs, I can use that card to pay the $3,000 emergency bill without worrying about whether the place will take my dog if I have no money. I can then go home, change the settings from “pay in full every month” to “pay $X every month” (more than the minimum!) until it’s paid off, and then go back to just my bills. My credit might take a little dip during that time, but will bounce back pretty quickly.

There’s several other factors to credit (hit me up if you want more info) but this was literally the only measure I took for my first year, and my credit went from 525 to 700 in a year. Another year later, I’m now at 753, have a mortgage with a great rate, and can get a monster ass loan if I really need it in case an emergency or hard times fall.

It’s a shitty system of hoops to jump through, but knowing you can use these measures if it comes to it is a good feeling.

yournewapartment

Okay but literally read this entire post please!

shrineart

Take it from someone who was taught that credit cards are evil, you NEED to build up some credit.

I’m 32 and only JUST NOW able to get a card because my fiance helped me do so. I could not get approved before because I didn’t have any credit.

dovewithscales

This is fucking important kids. Read it. Follow it. This is what I did. This is how my credit score has been over 700 for my entire adult life even when I was literally homeless and unemployed.

If you purchase anything at all you can and should do this.

meantfortheshore

moremetalthanyourmom

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

youcangofindatree-deactivated20

Gotta try it

clevermanka

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

emmagrant01

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

mercurialkitty

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

songbirde108

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

onethingconstant

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

naeonnoir

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

retroasgardian-deactivated20180

spiduhgirl

It’s called the Murder Strut.

elegantmess100

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

b3gayd0crim3

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

diinofayce

Thanks to martial arts I had the murder walk down by 12. People really don’t stay in my way long.

lokikingofasgardslover713

The murder strut does work.

a-blank-space

From the bottom of my heart I hope 2020 is a better mental health year for everyone

samthe-onion-nigga

Finacial health too..

tomhiddlestonsoundalike

Visit Original Link

Loki’s Dirty Whispers #28

“That’s it, my dear. Arch your back, undulate your hips, writhe in your bonds, throw your head back and howl! Cry, whimper, moan and scream my name in your wanton rapture as you escalate to the pinnacle of earthly delights no mortal has ever tasted before! Even now, you are begging for another ration of sweet, hellish sin… and I, being your merciful lord, will oblige.”

Original quote here.

tomhiddlestonsoundalike

Visit Original Link

Loki’s Dirty Whispers #29. For those who like a bit of variety in their threesomes.

“From the color on your cheeks, I’d say you can’t decide whether you desire my male or female form more…. So I’ll be all too happy to provide both simultaneously.”

Original quote here.

thecollectibles

The Mermaid of Lily Lake by Andy Ivanov

thecollectibles

The Mermaid of Lily Lake by Andy Ivanov

tomhiddlestonsoundalike

Visit Original Link

Loki’s Dirty Whispers #29. For those who like a bit of variety in their threesomes.

“From the color on your cheeks, I’d say you can’t decide whether you desire my male or female form more…. So I’ll be all too happy to provide both simultaneously.”

Original quote here.

winterwolvie

The Maiden's Desire

A/N: Written as a backup for the Loki’s Dirty Whispers winter fanfiction contest. Italicized portions come from whispers on that website.

Asgard was in an uproar. Word came that Thor had returned from Midgard with Loki in tow. All we knew was that Thor was deep in conversation with the Allfather about what would happen to his brother—though everyone on Asgard had long since heard that Loki had been taken from Jotenheim as a baby.

My sisters and I were the maidens of the Lady Sif, young Asgardian women who trained as warriors. The princes of Asgard had been home for several days when Lady Sif came to her maidens with the task of guarding Loki in his prison. He was being kept somewhere deep in the castle and the Allfather had commanded that he was to be watched constantly. That job fell to us, Asgardian warriors who had no personal connection with the fallen prince.

Keep reading

winterwolvie

The Concubine's Wish

A/N: Written and entered in the Loki’s Dirty Whispers winter fanfiction contest. Italicized portions come from whispers used on that website.

The day had come. Everything was lost. We climbed out of the ruins of what had been our world into a new age… a world where freedom was a lost idea. No one spoke of countries or borders or languages. We were all the same, now beholden to a god out of time and space who came to rule our world. Some wanted to fight. Some tried. All eventually fell into the order that called for obedience. To worship and respect of our new god, our new king. Loki left none to their own devices. We all served him.

But few loved him.

Keep reading

nomalifromsoweto

the-uncensored-she-deactivated2

Women should NOT be forced to feed their babies in a bathroom, all because we live in a misogynistic, porn-warped society that’s been brainwashed to believe that female breasts used for anything other than male pleasure is “indecent”. Support public breast feeding and end the porn culture.

littlezombiekid-blog

Forever reblog

the-anti-fandom

No. I’m eating. I don’t wanna see you hang out your goddamn tits while I have food. My kids don’t wanna see it. It’s not some misogynistic ideal, it’s fucking public indecency. Can I take my cock out under the table and feed my wife/girlfriend? No? Fuck you

elliegalaxies

i genuinely cannot believe that you just compared a blowjob to breastfeeding oh my fucking god

getting a blowjob is a sexual thing and it also does not ‘feed’ anyone whereas breastfeeding is literally not even a sexual thing a baby is having food that they need to live like it’s nowhere near on the same level as getting a blowjob omg

if you are uncomfortable seeing a woman breastfeeding then that is your problem because you have oversexualised breasts so much that you can’t even stand seeing them being used for their actual purpose and also you’re an idiot

go eat your dinner in a public bathroom, you trash bag

patrickat

End skeevy dudes who compare whipping out their dick in public to breast feeding 2k15

ugly-bread

DO YOU FEED YOUR CHILDREN SEMEN? SHOVE A TRASH CAN UP YOUR ASS

babiesandbones

Pediatric anthropology student, here.

1.) Breasts as sexual fetishes is a (largely Western) cultural construction. Yes, it’s a fetish – anything you are sexually attracted to that is not the genitals of an adult is a fetish, or paraphilia. My professors have met non-Westerners who think our men are “like babies” because they are attracted to breasts.

Breasts ≠ genitals. Scientifically, they are considered secondary sexual characteristics – same category as facial hair. They can be sexual in a sexual context, just as necks and feet can be. But their primary purpose is reproductive.

2.) Breastmilk is not a “bodily fluid.” It is FOOD.

It is not categorized by the CDC as a biohazard, and so no you don’t need to freak out if your coworker wants to store her milk right next to your Lunchables.

MOREOVER,

Breastmilk is not just protein and vitamins. It is a living, dynamic substance that BUILDS HUMANS.

It has hundreds of ingredients (<— actually that list needs to be updated because they’ve discovered more already). There is a lab at the University of Washington St. Louis, where they have written all of the ingredients of human milk on the wall – They have run out of room on that wall. Among those ingredients:

The exact ratio of protein-sugars-fats that human infants need (cow’s milk doesn’t even come close)

Antibodies to pathogens in the baby’s environment (synthesized by the mother within hours of coming into contact with a given pathogen) and other immune factors

Stem cells. FUCKING STEM CELLS. (They used glow-in-the-dark mice to find out what they do!)

Hormones (support growth and regulate behavior)

peptides

Self-digesting fats (what the whaaat)

Growth factors

water, vitamins, minerals, carbs, etc.

prolly other awesome shit we don’t even know about yet because we’ve barely scratched the surface of this research!

These ingredients change hour-to-hour according to the baby’s needs. It will even add more water on hot/dry days. Fuck, breastmilk kills cancer in a petri dish. Breastmilk. is. not. a. bodily. fluid. It. is. liquid. gold. 3.) When you tell a woman to go to the bathroom to breastfeed, you are perpetuating the notion that it is dirty and shameful and needs to be hidden away. This idea is the biggest barrier to achieving breastfeeding goals in the United States. Because women feel ashamed, they often stay isolated at home when they should be spending time out and about with friends and family and having, like, a life. This isolation can contribute to postpartum depression. From the Surgeon General’s Call to Action to Support Breastfeeding: Women may find themselves excluded from social interactions when they are breastfeeding because others are reluctant to be in the same room while they breastfeed. For many women, the feeling of embarrassment restricts their activities and is cited as a reason for choosing to feed supplementary formula or to give up breastfeeding altogether. And since we have this culture of shame and privacy surrounding breastfeeding, young girls and women don’t see it enough to learn what is normal/not and how to do it, so they often give up when they run into problems because they don’t realize there’s an easy fix. Moreover, an infant needs to be integrated into society in order to develop properly. He/she needs to see faces and hear voices. Isolating them – or throwing a blanket over their head – takes this important component of their development away. It also often annoys them because they are understimulated. 4.) YOU NEED TO SEE IT. That’s right, YOU. Even if you are a dude. Maybe you aren’t a parent, but you probably have loved ones who are. Or you might become one yourself someday. And if you are American chances are you have no idea how breastfeeding actually works, because you never fucking see it. It’s messy and complicated, and hard. It used to be a part of everyday life, because there weren’t any alternatives – So we learned how to do it by being around it all the time, NBD. The whole sexualization/modesty thing surrounding breasts wasn’t a thing until like the mid-20th century. Check out this 1871 drawing of a woman breastfeeding IN FUCKING CHURCH:

She’s covered head to toe, in accordance with modesty standards of the time – except for her breast, about which the people around her give zero fucks. More from the Surgeon General: In American culture, breasts have often been regarded primarily as sexual objects, while their nurturing function has been downplayed. Although focusing on the sexuality of female breasts is common in the mass media, visual images of breastfeeding are rare, and a mother may never have seen a woman breastfeeding. Mothers need to see it. Future mothers need to see it. Future fathers need to see it. Family members need to see it. Everybody needs to see it. SO THEY FUCKING GET USED TO IT. So, no, I’m not gonna go to the bathroom to feed my kid. If you don’t want to see it, then DON’T. FUCKING. LOOK.

healyhq-deactivated20231117

heathens-and-kings

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

owawaaa

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site

deactivated284849393-deactivate

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the misha message on the gishwhes panic button

dracofidus-deactivated20200523

Needless to say, I am HORRIFIED.

thecottageinthedark

‘All that you need to know about boars can be summed up in the fact that if you wish to hunt them, you must have a specially made boar spear. This spear has a crosspiece on it to prevent the boar from charging the length of the spear, driving it all the way through his own body, to savage the human holding the other end.’

-Boar and Apples, T. Kingfisher

dracofidus-deactivated20200523

fuck OFF

palindromordnilap-deactivated20

Note that pigs are also HUGE. So, yes, they ARE slightly larger pigs.

dracofidus-deactivated20200523

So I grew up in the city and have never seen a pig in real life and I just googled it and WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I thought they were like labrador sized, like, fat labradors, not mini-cows.

tokensouthernbelle

every time I see this post there are more people discovering how fuck off huge pigs actually are and I love it I thought this was a thing everyone knew but clearly not and I’m laughing

stillwaterseas

This is me with our Tamworth boar, a heritage breed closer to their wild cousins than the Yorkshire above. I am a fully grown, average sized human. He was a gentle sweetie who, sadly, is no longer with us. His name was Mr. Big.

dracofidus-deactivated20200523

FUCK OFF

coelasquid

Forever laffin’ at people who don’t understand how enormous, terrifying, and tenacious wild boar are.

They’re like if bears had knives protruding from their closed mouths and Didn’t Know When To Quit. Their survival instincts when they’re wounded aren’t “run away and minimize injury” it’s “take the thing that hurt you down with you” They also make sounds like someone crossed a pig with an alligator.

Their head and neck alone can be like the size of an entire human torso.

Also forever laffin’ at people who think pigs are tiny, ‘cause we designed those things can get in the neighbourhood of a thousand pounds in ideal circumstances.

It’s like when people assume Tuna must be small because they’ve only ever experienced them in hockey puck form.

obstinate-nocturna

Like seriously why the fuck y'all think everyone FREAKED THE HELL OUT when Dorothy fell into the pig pen in Wizard of Oz? It’s because pigs are HUGE and weigh a shitton and would crush her in an instant.

proserpine-in-phases

also dont they eat like, basically anything?

justabrowncoatedwench

YUP. Pigs will eat people, if given the chance. They dgaf.

wolverinequeen

That’s why boar hunters use a team of very tenacious dogs to hold the boar so they can be speared without fucking you up. The dogs wear body armour.

I’ve heard stories of people shooting boars, and if it didn’t kill them, it just pissed them off.

andthentheywilleatthestars

how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?

petermorwood

…“how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?”

Very carefully, I would imagine.

WIld boar babies are rather cute, like living humbugs…

…but the adults and their ferocity have been associated with warriors for thousands of years, from Mycenaean Greece (a helmet made from sections of boar tusk)…

…through Celtic Europe (reconstructed carnyx war-horns and standards)…

…Ancient Rome (the crest of Legion 20 “Valeria Victrix”). A couple more legions also used a boar as their crest - I wonder did they squabble over which was the “right” one the way a couple of Swiss cantons had a little war over whose bear was best…?

…then Anglo-Saxon and pre-Viking helmet crests…

…right up to the late Middle Ages (here the white boar badge of Richard Duke of Gloucester, later Richard III of England)…

…and the blue boar badge of the Earl of Oxford, more usually represented by the De Vere arms, quarterly gules and or, in the first a molet argent.

After Richard was defeated at Bosworth in 1485, there was a run on blue paint as inn-signs were changed to reflect new loyalties since Oxford was on the winning side…

And pigs will definitely eat people.

It gets mentioned in the movie “Snatch”, the book/movie “Hannibal” and the webcomic “Lackadaisy Cats”, among numerous other fictional sources, and IRL it’s suspected to be the reason why numerous missing persons have stayed missing.

More here (another comment to this same OP) and here (slightly different).

Here’s some boar-hunting armour for dogs, ancient…