Licking tequila salt off my hand except there's no tequila and the salt is a small glob of saucy meat&rice that fell off my spoon

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@honeybreadbee
Licking tequila salt off my hand except there's no tequila and the salt is a small glob of saucy meat&rice that fell off my spoon
I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.
hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.
You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.
I was twenty… twenty-five, I think?… when I was sentenced. Four hundred years was a length of time I couldn’t even imagine. It was a length of time I don’t think anyone could imagine, even the judge. It was just a big showy number that let everyone know I’d never see the light of day again. The mages who cast the spells were dramatic about it, practically shouting the part about ‘until death claims you, or four hundred years hath passed, forsooth, thou shalt be imprisoned here’. They don’t waste that kind of magic on most prisoners, but I was special.
The Slayer, they called me then. The Monster of Sentan. I’d killed nineteen people… I remember that number because I was so furious that they stopped me so close to my goal of twenty-one. And I didn’t just kill ordinary people, no, but the Chosen of the Gods. The Great and Good. They were terrified of me. So they locked me away, to die forgotten.
It had been a little less than a hundred years when the king died without heir, and a civil war tore the country apart. When the fighting was all over, the losers were dragged down to the deepest cells under the castle, and the new king and his soldiers stopped and stared at me. “Who… who is this?” he asked, frowning. “Some victim of the usurper?”
People like cooks and jailers and scrubbers don’t change as easily as kings. The same man who’d been bringing me my meals since there was still brown in his hair and beard shuffled forward, hunched and grey now. “No, yer majesty,” he said humbly. “That be a special prisoner, from before the old king died.”
“Special? Special how?” He frowned, moving closer to my cell. “The old king died more than ten years ago. This woman must have been a child then. What could she have done to - “
“Don’t get too close, yer majesty,” the old man said sharply. “That’s the Monster of Sentan… an’ she bites.”
That was true. I do bite.
Keep reading
tumblring for these 6 people always in my notifications
Love going to bed with a new, good daydream scenario fresh in my mind. Like yes girl, movie night!
another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”
found it
Our car didn't start on monday morning!
Our microwave's been shutting off the switch on the electric panel!
Earlier today the carabiner on my favorite bag snapped in half!
20 minutes ago i noticed a weird sound from OUR WASHING MACHINE! THERE'S SOMETHING STUCK UNDER THE DRUM!
I'LL BE WASHING CLOTHES BY HAND!
THE WASHING MACHINE IS OKAY AFTER ALL!!!! 🙏🙏
A small (0.5-1 cm max) cylinder shaped thingy was stuck under the drum, we had to tilt the entire machine forwards to get it to roll into the filter below but it's done, we only had to handwash for just a bit!!
Pee your pants fish boy
this was a harrowing ask to read while eating sardines in only my underwear
I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you
Don’t do this to me
my brother in christ you made the post
Our car didn't start on monday morning!
Our microwave's been shutting off the switch on the electric panel!
Earlier today the carabiner on my favorite bag snapped in half!
20 minutes ago i noticed a weird sound from OUR WASHING MACHINE! THERE'S SOMETHING STUCK UNDER THE DRUM!
I'LL BE WASHING CLOTHES BY HAND!
guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone
"join us, Micheal"
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
When you see a Prep in hottopic
“This Prep is ready for war bring it you emo fuck”
why are people reblogging this again
this post is like 11 years old
WHY AREYALL DOING THIS
We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be
hey
fuck you LOL
Everybody in the club Yield to my will
nobody numa numas like they used to
(wistfully) mai-ia-hee... mai-ia- hoo....