actually sports are awesome because if i told you there was a piece of fiction with a sports veteran who everyone is constantly comparing to his prime and wondering if he's about to retire and if we're all just watching a swan song and that by the way his nickname starting up was 'the kid' you would tell me it was too on the nose. and yet.
if i told you about a guy having to hide in an airport and then hunker down in a foreign country waiting for a visa after his former team tried to steal his passport to keep him from going to play in another league you would say what is this a spy movie. happened to my good friend evgeni malkin though.
And, never forget their defenseman who rode a chronic illness and paternal abandonment into being a third round draft pick the Penguins gambled on. Hopping between the big league, minors, and junior for a while until he finally got a spot on the active roster, the same year he lost his best friend. Then, he's survived two strokes and a heart defect to get where he is. And teammates call him Bang Bang Kris Letang.
nhl goalie problems: like 3 teams have a legit great goalie. league sv% below .900 for the first time in a william years. every goalie streaky and prone to suddenly throwing a series.
pwhl goalie problems: every team has three goalies who should be starters. worst GAA in the league would be middle of the pack in the nhl. nobody can score a fucking goal bc they're all brick walls.
The satirical Vesey Awards kind of shoehorned PWHL players into their categories, so I was inspired to create a completely PWHL-focused satire awards. Knock yourselves out and please do not submit more than one survey! Not exclusive to tumblr users, I just happen to be based on tumblr myself. Feel free to share the survey link amongst your PWHL friend groups.
https://forms.gle/xNaszWZXXBQoduN99
THIS SURVEY IS ONLY FOR THE 2025-26 REGULAR SEASON AND POST-SEASON (PLAYOFFS AND FINALS).
Voting closes on June 10, 2026 at 11:59pm EDT. Results will be announced shortly thereafter here on my blog.
Categories and respective nominees below the cut! Most categories also have write-ins.
Most Deserving City That Didn’t Get An Expansion Team
Exactly what it says. If only these cities had gotten an expansion team!
Calgary, Alberta
Denver, Colorado
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Quebec City, Quebec
Chicago, Illinois
Edmonton, Alberta
The Dearly Departed Award
Award for the most missed player that was traded this season or lost in the 2025 expansion draft.
Abby Roque (NY to MTL)
Sophie Jaques (MIN to VAN)
Zoe Boyd (OTT to BOS)
Denisa Křížová (MIN to NY)
The Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play Power Through Tough Messes (existing to not existing)
Sarah Nurse (TOR to VAN)
Jessie Eldridge (NY to SEA to BOS)
The Jared Award for Excellence in Refereeing
For the official that made the most infuriating calls of the season.
Jared
Sydney
Jake
Central Situation Room
The "WTF" Coaching and Management Award
Award for the most interesting coaching and management decisions in the league.
Brian Idalski and the Vancouver Goldeneyes
Steve O'Rourke and the Seattle Torrent
Ken Klee and the Minnesota Frost
Troy Ryan and the Toronto Sceptres
Goalie Who Most Deserves A Gun
Which goaltender was forced to endure the most suffering because their team couldn't get it together this season?
Kayle Osborne
Gwyneth Philips
Corinne Schroeder
Aerin Frankel
Raygan Kirk
Emerance Maschmeyer
God's Most Suffering Player
For the player that endured the most suffering this season on this godforsaken bitch of an earth.
Laura Stacey
Gwyneth Philips
Hilary Knight
Alex Carpenter
Ad Break of the Year
Sorry to the Canadians who can't watch the streams on Youtube.
DVD Corner Bounce
Gay Time Check
Catch Me Catch Me
Jincy Roese Debut Single
The "Which Could Mean Nothing" Partnership Award
Awarded to the best duos and groups of friends in the league. Which could mean nothing.
Kenzie Lalonde and Cheryl Pounder
Laura Stacey, Marie-Philip Poulin, and Abby Roque
Emma Buckles and Catherine Dubois
The Entire Seattle Torrent
The Kristýna Kaltounková Most Overly-Penalized Player Award
Named in honor of Kristýna Kaltounková having the most ever penalty minutes for a rookie in her first PWHL season (45 PIM).
Rory Guilday
Kristýna Kaltounková
Abby Roque
Emma Maltais
Laura Stacey
Taylor Girard
The "Stop That, You Can Text Her After The Game" Award for Most Egregious Checking
For physicality that makes you go, "Why are you doing that???"
Jocelyne Larocque and Renata Fast WWE Super Slam
Brooke Bryant falling on top of Abbey Levy
Micah Zandee-Hart and Laura Stacey Skate Lace Entanglement
Jill Saulnier pushing down Ann-Renée Desbiens
The Prudential Center Clown Fan Clown Hockey Moment of the Year
For the most ridiculous moments on the ice, named in honor of the New York Sirens fan that dresses up like a clown, tumblr user @newyorksirens.
Danielle Serdachny sliding into an empty net, scoring a goal
Gwyneth Philips Beyblade
Emily Clark losing her skate blade and being pushed to the bench
Abby Roque scoring with her face
TD Place Arena Ice Hole
Ann-Renée Desbiens Ladder Assist
Lesbians' Choice Award
Who do the lesbians (and other queer PWHL fans) love the most?
Hilary Knight
Zoe Boyd
Laura Stacey
Carly "CJ" Jackson
Abby Roque
Kristýna Kaltounková
Fight of the Year
Kristýna Kaltounková vs. the entire Ottawa Charge
Abby Roque vs. Britta Curl playoff scrum
Montreal Victoire vs. New York Sirens line brawl (feat. Kayle Osborne)
Megan Keller vs. Laura Stacey
Boston Fleet vs. Toronto Sceptres line brawl (feat. Frankel & Tapani hug)
Jill Saulnier vs. Tereza Vanišová rematch
Quote of the Year
"I think I peed a little." - Marie-Philip Poulin
"How can you not be romantic about hockey?" - Eric Gallanty
I understand the fandom desire to make everything about your ship. But I really wish more people would think about it for a hot fucking second before immediately posting shit about how watching the Victoire celebration makes you think of your fictional gay ship drinking out of the cup.
like, do you not see how disrespectful that is? Professional women’s hockey has been fighting for its life for years, the pwhl is in its infancy, let them have their fucking moment. Let it be about them please.
janainaart
areudirty
origamiaround
gummygunk
prguitarman
germansingergirl
blakekathryn
snowghoul
jacobvanloon
theartofmadeline
