Burn This Out (Roger Taylor x F!Reader) Part 2
A/N: Late update as I've been entirely busy this week and probably will be for the next 12 months. I might have to post a new chapter per week to manage my time better. As usual, feedbacks are much appreciated! âĽ
Summary: She and Roger are just friends now and that he has completely moved on with his life, at least that's what Y/N thinks.
Warnings: Angst, fluff, mentions of alcohol, smut implication
Tags: None. Taglist is still definitely open :')
I made a playlist for this series.
"I'm not!" You state strongly, wrapping your arms around the amp for the last time to carry it out. You huff at how your limbs have taken the consistency of gelatin.
"Well, I trust that you won't drop it the second time so please, let me help you." Roger insists as he cracks his knuckles, a lazy yet closed smile tugging on his lips as he waits for your response. You don't give yourself time to think about it and give in hesitantly tilting your head to one side to beckon him over. Surely the awkward silence between you both as you transport the amp to one of the booths is one thing you ought to shake off later on.
The tiny voice in your head tuts at how you had just greeted him after years void of any contactâ an unholy screech followed by the amp to his foot. You were lucky enough to not have caused him any real pain.
After setting the amp in a booth, you thank Roger for volunteering and he shrugs in the most casual way possible, his lingering gaze staying on you for a few moments. "You're welcome. It's really not advisable for a lady to take on a hefty load like that."
You make a pshaw sound with your mouth as you walk towards the door past him, slightly flustered but not surprised at your small talk. "I'm okay, 'gers. I'll be doing this for some days at least."
His brows shoot up in awe upon hearing you call him by the nicknameâ which just came out without you being aware of it slippingâ you had given him back then, a ghost of a hopeful grin pulling on his lips. He opens his mouth to say something sound and witty, hoping to make you feel at ease but is interrupted by Liam stepping into the room with a cup of coffee in hand that's meant for you.
"Oh, there you are. Goodness, you had me a little worried. " Liam gushes as he hands you the cup yet the relieved smile on his face fades as he finds you with some companyâ company being Rogerâ inside such a compact room, suddenly looking as if he's about to question what you both were up to.
"Thanks, Li and don't worry. I just transferred the last of the amps and it was work." You roll your eyes to the back of your head jokingly, popping the plastic lid of the cup open and bringing the rim of the cup to your lips.
"Don't tell me you were doing all the heavy lifting?" He takes you by the shoulders and looks down at you with brows disheveled and drawn together, the little, jerking motion produced from it nearly spilling a bit of your drink.
"Ah no. Roger actually helped me out and I nearly crushed his foot with the last amp. By the way, Roger, you've met Liamâ my boyfriend." You reintroduce Liam to Roger, miraculously leaving out feeling awkward for the sake of composure after heaving out a quiet apology and he smiles at Liam in mild acknowledgement.
Liam flicks his eyes to the jittery blond and then back to you, darting them back to Roger once more to thank him. "Well then, mate. Thank you. Though I must apologise on behalf of her untimely clumsiness."
Oddly enough, yours and Roger's eyes expand in unison at that, out of amusement and disbelief, respectively.
"Please don't. I'd rather you appreciate such 'untimely' clumsiness, all the brightest people have it." You don't mean to assume and never would you ever dream to, but it's almost as though Roger gave you an elusive compliment as his voice cracked later into his last words. He excuses himself from the room to get back to what they are really here for, leaving you a pondering mess next to your boyfriend.
The day progressed longer than you thought but it certainly drew your attention tight to getting everything done before exiting the studio. Freddie asked for your availability in the evening as they had planned to go out for a drink but you had to decline, though you would've loved to tag along. As to poke fun at you, he joked about the reason of you passing the offer being an excuse to avoid Roger but of course, you solidly asserted that it had nothing to do with that.
Freddie very well knows that you broke things off with Rog in the first place and that you are happy in your relationship with Liamâ though you hope he's not expecting for you and Roger to reestablish that bond just because they're going to be around for a while to record the second half of their album. You and Roger can remain good friends and that's just it.
That's where you mean to draw the line.
"So like a Bohemian Rhapsody two, but with more soul?" Brian licks his bottom lip after taking a sip of his scotch, creasing his brows together at Freddie who has pitched the sixth track of the album, being Somebody To Love.
"Precisely. You, Roger and John will have fun recording the backing vocals with m-"
"Definitely not. I'm sticking to my schtick." John interrupts Freddie quickly from declaring that he'll be participating in singing and takes a swig of his drink. Freddie shrugs and rephrases with a clap. "You and Roger will have fun recording the backing vocals with me."
"Whatever you say. What d'you think, Rog? Think you still got- Roger?" Brian blinks thrice upon seeing Roger look twice as musingly wistful as the last time while tracing his fingertip around the rim of the glass quietly.
Freddie and John turn their heads to Roger as well, concern written boldly on their faces. "Rog? You alright, mate?" Brian pats his shoulder and Roger responds accordingly, snapping out.
"Huh? Uh, yeah. Were you talking about the sixth track?"
"Yeah. Are you sure you're in good spirits? You look the contrary." Freddie inquires, something Roger dismisses with the simple wave of his hand.
"I'm fine, Fred. On with the song, tell me about it."
Freddie takes into account Roger's tendency to refuse talking about the things bothering him and just goes on with it, not wanting to upset the drummer any more than seeing you with a new guy has. The next day, the boys spend the first half of the morning laying down the melody by John's directions since they'll be working on the fifth song he's recently penned. You're seated by the water dispenser with a notepad in one hand and a pen in the other, humming a tune you had made on the piano last week and trying to put some words into it to pass the time. You bite down hard on your lip at how messy the words seem in your head, ending up ripping a scribbled page and crumpling it frustratingly.
"That sounded ridiculous." You mumble to yourself, ready to write on the blank space until, "I don't think so though."
"In case we haven't met, it's Roger." He snorts as he reaches his hand out to shake as a gag and you smack his hand away lightly. "Don't do that! Jeez, that's the second time."
The playful mischief in his eyes doesn't subside. "Okay, sorry. But you seemed to have dropped something." He produces the paper you've discarded and you shake your head with a smirk.
"Dropped that on purpose."
"Why," he straightens the paper and an impressed smile grows on his face as he reads the words you've left undone, "these are pretty good. Did you just write these now?"
Being so unsure about allowing Roger to evaluate it, you nod demurely and feel the heat rise further up to your face at his compliment to your 'bad' lyrics. With the grin on his face stretching even more, his brows perk up as he continues. "You could put this out there, you know?"
"Rog, they're barely lyrics, much less a proper composition. I may have gotten the tune down but I just need some words to top it."
"We'll do something about that. It has the potential to be released." He hands you the paper and you look at him confusingly, scoffing as you take it. "I'm not a recording artist to do so."
He swallows dryly and jerks his shoulders. "Who says you have to be? You have the heart of one."
You very much trust that he's not going to coax you out into releasing a composition. You feel as if you still don't have what it takes though you're trying. "Regardless, what are you doing here? Go drum your heart out or whatever. Poor lads you just left to toil while you're out here complimenting this crap for lyrics."
You put the paper on the dispenser and hop off the stool, ushering him back with a push to which he plays along with by moving on his own accord.
"Am I not allowed to? Those were gold." He tries reasoning out all the while stifling a giddy laugh. Oh god, the guy hasn't changed one bit. He's still much of the motivator as he was back then.
"It's gold when I say it is. Now don't bother me." You roll your eyes playfully and he raises his hands up in surrender, waving at you as he heads back into the live room to help his band mates.
"What was that about?" For the third time this week, you get a good startle as Liam comes into the scene behind you, curious about what he had just witnessed.
"For the love of- nothing. It's just Roger being Roger. " You put your hand up to your chest to catch your breath from the startle inflicted on you. Liam's brows shoot up to his hairline as he teases a proper answer from you. "That sentence has a lot of connotations. By that you mean?"
Much to your surprise, you hear the a tinge of jealousy in his voice and it makes it difficult for you to strangle yourself from cracking up. You had pegged Liam for someone who had tolerance for 'rivalry' as you once told him about Roger yet it's as though he's really not taking the friendly interaction between you and the drummer lightly.
You cross your arms at him, holding back a grin. "By that I mean, he was just being a motivator and definitely NOT flirting with me."
"I didn't ask anything about him flirting-"
"Sure, Li. Tell yourself that," you giggle and stand on the tips of your toes to kiss his nose, his towering stature making it a little hard for you to do so flat on your heels, "You don't have to be jealous about anything, alright? You're the only one who's ever made me feel so...alive."
If he does so, why did it it take you to three whole seconds to say the word?
He softens at your reassurance, stealing a sweet peck from your lips as he wraps his arms around your waist, your semi-public display of affection remaining untouched by external forces. "I'm not jealous but damn, I don't really know what I did to deserve you, Y/N."
"You know I never could foresee the future years. You know I never could see- what else can I- ah, hold on! Where life was leading...me! " John sighs in content as he jots down the first three lines of the third verse of his song on his notepad, grinning proudly for making it that far in two hours with his lyrics.
"I guarantee you, Deaky. You could undo a heavy downpour with that tune." Freddie compliments John's sunny lyrics to which John blushes as a response. "Oh, Fred, stop."
"I mean, it has a slightly aggressive drop to that part there, John. Are you sure you aren't going to bring back some rain with that?" Brian teases slyly and nudges a dazed Roger by accident, apologizing for a quick moment before noticing the state he is in once more.
"Roger? Seriously, what's gotten into you?" Brian snaps his fingers in front of the drummer to pry him out of the trance he has put himself in as he watches Liam steal a kiss from you on the other side.
Roger responds in the slightest, gulping as he nods while nervously tapping a rhythm on the cajon he's seated on. "I'm alright, Bri. I was just thinking about uh," he turns to face his bandmates while making small circles in the air with his index finger, "the uh- drum line for Deaky's song."
Roger has made the minimal accident of saying something he normally wouldn't say and attracts his bandmates' concern.
"Rog, you never think about your drum lines. You never do, they just come to you naturally. What's really wrong?" Despite having his song on the line, John approaches him to ensure he's doing alright, dissecting his mood to be a bit more fallen this time around.
Roger shakes his head aggressively and scoffs at the sympathy shown by the rest, accidentally catching another glimpse of you on the other side of the glass and scrunching his nose. "I'm swell, alright? Now stop being so mushy and let's get on with it. Is it so bad to think for once in my life?"
"Woah, okay. Don't need to get so gritty about it. We're just concerned." Brian hoists his hands up confusingly and grabs the acoustic guitar next to him to play his demo of the song's tune. With his head hung low and shoulders relaxed, Roger closes his eyes and opens them to a deep inhale, tapping the striking surface of the instrument to find an appropriate rhythm for John's song, the ecstatic feeling that had washed over him when he had the privilege of seeing you smile at him again making his sour smirk curl into a sad smile. Shrewd of the reason behind Roger's gradual change in behavior, the boys sigh at how his recurring heartbreak has affected him, both musically and emotionally. They've always known his split with you made him hit an all time low though he never shows it when he's surrounded by people however seeing you again with someone new this time just did it for him.
Losing you was like losing his rhythm.
"Y/N, what's wrong with your face?" Jesse asks as she pours white sugar into her tea. You avert your gaze from the rainy scene outside the window and shake your head. "What are you-"
"That. Your- your brows." She leans over to reach out to your forehead from her end of the table and flicks your glabella with little force, making you yelp at the blunt pain.
"You're welcome. You were in a trance. What were you thinking about?" Jesse takes a brief sip of her tea and waits on for you to answer.
You give away nothing more than a mere, dismissive wave of your hand to quench her curiosity but it doesn't do you any better as she pries again. "Don't give me that bull. What's wrong? Did you and Liam get into a fight?"
She clasps her hands together and speculates further, eager to know the truth. "Roger?"
"You paused. He didn't do anything, did he? " She pins you flat into your chair with an impaling stare and you shake your head again. "No! Thing is-"
You sigh, rubbing your forehead. "Until they finish the second half of their album, everyday is going to be awkward with my ex and boyfriend working together with me involved."
"It doesn't have to be. You're in a relationship and Roger must be over the past completely. Besides, " Jesse downs what's left of her drink and smacks her lips, "the interaction is professional, isn't it?"
Why wouldn't it be? Except that you put some humour into your talk to lighten the vibe between you both. Roger may not have had brought up the past to apologize for what he did but you're quite certain he might just do so in an appropriate time to avoid friction within your work. It's perfectly okay if he chooses to leave it be and not own up to his failure, you've left it all behind anyway.
"Purely. But I have to be frank and tell you that we are still able to share a few laughs like normal people whenever we talk." You slip off your seat and grab something to drink from the fridge.
"It would only be awkward if you make it. Especially when Liam's within a certain radius."
"Especially when Liam's what?" A lilted voice asks from the kitchen entrance and it's no other than Freddie who has let himself in since you and Jesse were deep in your discourse to realize that he had been knocking thoroughly on the front door.
You and Jesse stare agape at Freddie's unannounced entrance and end up laughing at the suddenness. You close the fridge door and stride up to the singer to give him a hug, joking about. "I think you've got the wrong house, sir."
"I hope you don't mind me trespassing, but I had just gotten your address from your man," Freddie pinches your cheek and walks up to Jesse to introduce himself to make up for barging in.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be anywhere...but here?" You wonder, making a steeple of your fingers.
He places his hands on his hips and smirks, pulling out a seat next to Jesse. "Yes indeed but I might need your help with a composition."
You cast solid your gaze to Jesse and back to Freddie, blinking as to make sure you're hearing him correctly. "For real? I mean, you need my help for a song when you literally made every single element of Bohemian Rhapsody a masterpiece."
He shakes his head modestly and flicks his hand down lamely, wanting to dismiss the fact that he did so in a brief interval. "Darling, just the tune. This is going to be for the sixth song which will come out as a hybrid of gospel and rock."
Struck by Freddie's boldness to mix yet again two completely different genres, Jesse's eyes widen at him in awe. "Woah, okay that has to sound good. Can I just say how much I love your work with the latest album? I can't stop headbanging to it shamelessly in my car."
Much to Freddie's joy, he turns to look at a starstrucked Jesse and bobs his head at her in genuine appreciation. "I love you, dear for that."
"Alright. When do we start with that? I still have my piano from before." You rub your temple and Freddie purses his lips together, the pull giving his cheekbones sharper and fuller edges. "I would love to but in the studio of course. I don't want to be a bother to you here."
As a foremost obligation in the early hours of the morning, a straightened out bedsheet free of creases and crinkles does Roger a dulcet mood but this time, he endeavors to leave it otherwise. With a slender, au naturel brunette topping him and sucking on the sweet spot behind his ear, he hisses between his teeth at the sensation, beads of sweat dripping from the tips of his fringe.
"You're- you're that eager, huh sweetheart?" He asks, his voice hoarse from an early morning shagâ a chronic activity he's been engaging himself in ever since...that day to rid himself of thoughts of the past, which has proven to be just as ineffective as before now that he had seen you againâ only this time with someone new.
All the drinking and one night stands have done him much harm than good, even when his reason of doing so might seem understandable.
As much as he enjoys the physical pleasures of this type of cop out, there's only one touch he would always melt to upon contact and still long to relish for as long he livesâ yours.
Unfortunately, it's a jewel he's lost to someone else.
"You're not gonna move up in there?" The girl questions in a sultry tone as she continues marking him, snapping him out of his thoughts.
Unsure what to do since he has effectively tired himself out, he swallows dryly and stutters as the girl's nipping becomes slightly more predatory. "B-Babe. I'd want to but-"
The shrill of his landline by his bedside table saves him the trouble of explaining and he quickly pardons himself to take the call, shifting out from underneath the girl and answering the ring. "Talk."
"What the hell, Rog? It's past 8 and everyone's here except you." It's Brian and he's ineffably pissed on his end.
Roger chuckles and combs back his just-fucked hair, rubbing his eyes in the process of replying. "Wait- everyone? Including Fred?"
"Including Fred. Now get off the line and get your arse here, pronto! I happen to know what you've been doing all night to get up this late."
Unapologetic about his conclusion, Roger glances briefly at the waiting brunette on his bed and draws his bottom lip between his teeth, saying in a gravelly tone. "I've been doing it a lot lately, Bri. But I'll be there in 5."
He hangs up and shoots a narrow gaze at the girl beside him, his deep inhale serving as a casual apology. "Hun, I think I may have to disappoint you for now."
In the midst of having the crew and 2/4 of the band piece the fifth track on the mixing consoles, you and Freddie are busying yourselves as you work on the tune of his song in the live room, tangled cables and wires left spread around the hardwood floorâ which you had left for the meantime to help him compose.
In awe of the first half Freddie has played on the piano, you bless him with a sincere smile and praise. "That was beautiful, Fred. I don't think I should add any."
"Oh no, you should! We're not even halfway into the song and you're already underestimating yourself." With Freddie not wanting to make you feel deflated about your skill on the keys, he gives you a little nudge to continue where he's left off but with a tune of your own composition.
As you begin to play your contribution, Freddie lays out the lyrics he's written last night before you and starts singing as he follows through the melody beautifully.
"I work hard...every day of my life...I work til I ache my bones. Now you." He gestures for you to sing along and you reluctantly surrender, playing your continuation of the tune as you do.
"At the end...of the day, I take home...my hard earned pay all on my own."
Shocked to hear you sing demonstratively and in perfect sync with the tune, Freddie gasps as a huge grin starts taking form on his face.
"Rog. How long have you been standing there?" Freddie asks curiously but full of amusement, brows furrowed at the drummer walking in unannounced. You stop playing immediately the moment your eyes find Roger leaning against the door frame, a genuinely pleased expression gracing his face.
Roger fixes his posture and waltzes up to your direction, blue eyes heavily hooded but full of life as he briefly lays eyes on youâ well, as he lays eyes on you. "Just a minute ago. Slipped past Brian to avoid getting five ounces of scolding."
"Have you been out for an epic shag again last night? Is that why you're late?" Freddie asks the unexpected to subtly make fun of the atmosphere between you and Roger, earning a sharp inhale from him and a stifled chuckle from you. Those questions usually get Roger cocky and airy about how good his nights would go with the semi-circle of girls he could bewitch with a single bat of his pretty blues, unlike right now.
He's truly mortified to say the least, since Freddie has asked him right in front of you. He could boast about it to see how you'd react but he wouldn't dare to say a word affirming it.
"What are you- of course not! That's a heap of work." Of course he'd lie with you present.
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