The Incredibly Ordinary life of Me

[saturnvs]

and as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual

[desperatehoney]

rb to give prev head

[peanutpalace-deactivated2023011]

So many idiots have masters degrees maybe I could be the next

[anxietyproblem]

[cromerholt]

[xwu2i92-deactivated20240528]

I'm a simple man, she sends me a selfie while I'm at work, and in exchange I am so shaken that I make a critical excel error that could jeopardize my entire career

[94sghosts]

come get snuggled idiot

[deergirliconoclast]

[chaoticneutralwife]

seeing another repost of my mid edit is so funny

[veryluckyclovers]

[dark-dirty-daydreams]

A love language

[crazysodomite]

small talk? it was quite big to me. i love you

[lesbianlyonelb]

Listen. The whole "who's pussy is this?" thing is hot yeah. But we need more "this cock is mine" type energy in those kind of relationships

[neilphen]

stopping mid sex to flip the record to the bside

[nthfunct-deactivated20231201]

man who opened a parenthesis he forgot to close 4 years ago is tragically unaware everything he's said since has been an aside

[infectiouspiss]

you’re all ‘ohh i love hole’ but now when i’m about to throw you in this bottomless pit (which is a form of hole btw) you’re all ‘please spare me’ fucking hypocrite

[castratedvader]

id fuck a 1000yo vampire idgaf about the age gap shit. tell me about the monastic schools in central italy you have witnessed first-hand old man.

[senatortedcruz]

she let me hit because i care for all creatures in the forest great and small

[auntie-nettle]

[noodleddragon]

[1980sspaceman]