Hello! You can call me Cas. I am a writer in their 20s who has a deep love for the horror genre (films, books, etc.) and music. My inbox is always open to chat. Thank you to anyone who reads my work.
💍anon - I just finished re-reading my favourite book, and now I'm just wondering what you think the lads guys would be like for a reader who is also a massive bookworm?
(also, I love love love your darker stuff so please don't be worried about posting it!❤️)
- He adores the fact that you’re a bookworm. His dreamy, delicate little wife with her legs kicked up on a satin chaise, flipping pages with starry eyes? He wants to paint you like that. Then lock you in a room filled with nothing but books, silk, and him.
- Jealous of fictional men. Absolutely. If you get too into a spicy romance book and start giggling or sighing dreamily, he’ll crawl into your lap like a cat and whimper, “You like him more than me, huh? What’s he got? Wings? Horns? A dark curse?”
- Mimics the book characters to make you laugh. You mention you’re reading about a cursed warlock? Next thing you know, he’s walking around the house in a black velvet cloak, holding a wine glass like it’s blood. “My dearest wife… have you brought me the final moonstone?”
- Doodles hearts and notes in your Kindle case. “DON’T FORGET YOUR REAL HUSBAND.” Or draws himself in your favorite book scenes, replacing the male lead. (He prints out fanart of himself as Lucien Raventhorn, don’t lie.)
- Collects books with pretty covers and doesn’t care what’s inside. “It’s pink and shiny, obviously you’ll love it, cutie.” You have 12 unread books that he bought just because the spines look cute on the shelf.
- Gets very clingy if you’re reading for hours and “forget” to give him attention. Will lay his head in your lap and mumble while you try to focus: “Pearlieee… this guy sounds so mean. You like mean boys now? You want me to start being cruel to you? Maybe I’ll go feral. Start a war. Burn a city.”
- But if you ever cry during a tragic scene, he’s instantly serious. Pulls the Kindle from your hand and cups your face. “You okay, pearl? Want me to make it better?” Then gets unreasonably pissed at the book. “What do you mean they died?! Who do I have to kill!?”
- Also: He writes you fanfic. Secretly. You’ll find a file named “SunflowerQueen_Vol1” on your tablet and it’s Rafayel’s self-insert fantasy romance where you’re the ethereal empress and he’s your cursed knight who’s obsessed with you and dies dramatically (but hotly) in your arms.
𝙕𝙖𝙮𝙣𝙚 ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎ ‧*❆ ₊⋆
- Thinks it’s adorable. He finds you nestled in his massive custom reading nook with your knees up and your little Kindle glowing? Instant serotonin. He strokes your hair while reading patient reports beside you, secretly syncing his breathing to yours.
- Buys you medical romance and sultry surgeon smut books to tease you. “This one apparently features a brooding, emotionally unavailable doctor… sounds familiar?”
- When you’re deep into a spicy book, he’ll glance over and mutter with a smirk, “That book must be better than the real thing, huh?” But you always find him right behind you ten minutes later, kissing down your neck, whispering, “Let’s see if fiction can compete with fact.”
- Customises your collection like he’s managing your meds. Categorized. Synced. Updated. One time you couldn’t find your favorite sci-fi trilogy and Zayne just calmly pulled a physical leatherbound version off the shelf, of course he sourced it first edition.
- Keeps an eye on your posture while you read for hours and gently adjusts your legs or massages your back. “You’ll get stiff sitting like that, sweetheart.”
𝙓𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙧 ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆
- Thinks you’re the cutest thing in the universe when you’re reading. He loves your dreamy sighs, your little gasp when you hit a plot twist, your eyes shining when you talk about a book.
- Falls asleep in your lap while you’re reading, or tugs you under the covers. “Let me dream to the sound of your voice, starlight…”
- You’re like his personal storyteller. He’ll ask, “What’s that one about?” and you excitedly explain the plot of a spicy mafia romance and he’ll just blink and go, “…Interesting. Continue.”
- Memorizes your favorite narrators. Xavier loads up your audiobooks on your devices with enhanced audio filters so it sounds like you’re in another world. Sometimes he even records himself reading your favorite passages in that soft, sleepy tone of his.
- Thinks it’s funny how you’re immune to most dangers but will cry over a fictional death or spiral after finishing a trilogy. Cuddles you silently, brushing your hair while you wail, “I MISS THEM.”
𝙎𝙮𝙡𝙪𝙨 ✮ ⋆ ˚。𓅨⋆。°✩
- Laughs at your dramatic reactions like, “You’re literally crying over a paper man named Aaron?” but he still hunts down rare collector’s editions of all your favorite fantasy series and has an entire wing of the estate turned into your personal library.
- Absolutely reads over your shoulder, then scoffs like it’s dumb… but then you catch him pacing later like he’s lowkey invested in the plot.
- If you ever get too into a spicy book, he’ll yank the Kindle out of your hands with a smug smirk and go, “Is this what you’re into now, kitty? You know I can do better than a cursed prince.”
- Buys you risqué titles on purpose just to see your face when you open them. “This one has a warning label. Let me know if it’s too much for you.”
- But when you talk excitedly about a story’s politics, worldbuilding, or magic system, he actually engages seriously. “You liked how the council was overthrown? Hm. Remind me to show you how a real power grab works.”
𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙗 ⋆。 ‧˚ʚ🍎ɞ˚‧。 ⋆
- You’ve been a bookworm since childhood and he’s always been the one carrying your backpack of novels when it got too heavy. He still teases you like, “How many books do you need for a single trip to the garden?”
- Keeps a blanket in every room because he knows you’ll curl up somewhere random and read for hours. If he finds you passed out on the floor with your Kindle face down, he’ll tuck you in and carry you to bed.
- Tries to get into your favorite books just to impress you. Reads them in secret so he can say, “Yeah, I like when that guy—Lucien?—saves her from the wyverns. Not bad.”
- Feels a little jealous when you get too emotionally attached to fictional men, especially when you sigh and murmur, “I wish someone would talk to me like that.” He just throws an arm around your waist like, “You want poetic? I’ll give you poetic, pipsqueak.”
- He reads aloud to you when you’re tired, in that low, gravelly voice. Sometimes spicy scenes, sometimes tragic ones. He watches your face more than the book. “You like when he calls her that? I bet I could do it better.”
If you want more head cannon prompts to practice on, then allow me to assist (or if youd rather write something not loke a head cannon, a drabble a fic whichever, then just choose a LAD man! Whatever is comfiest for you!)
So i was looking back on some pictures of myself, some professionally done ones. I distinctly remember the photographer telling me not to smile in my pictures.
I don't have a bad smile mind you, least I dont think sso, but now whenever it comes time to smile for a picture, I get all insecure.
So how would the LADS men react to hearing such a story? Or maybe when taking some professional pictures, .aybe the photographer is mean to reader and our boys step into defend us! ( because having someone angry on your behalf feels nice)
Course if this isn't something you wanna do that's fine, just thank you for taking the time to read this!
well... hi! ngl i had both fun and quite a challenge with this one. i really struggle writing sylus and xavier at times, and i can't lie that it is hard to adapt a scenario for all the LIs... BUT it was fun nonetheless (kudos to those authors who really nail writing headcanon scenarios!!)
anywayyyy i hope you enjoy them! i did think writing a short scene for each of the LIs fit this scenario better~ (p.s. not proofread)
Headcanons - Smile for me? (aka the LIs reassuring MC about their smile)
Rafayel
Rafayel always had a keen eye for beautiful things. So naturally, whenever inspiration struck him, you were most often than not either the reason or part of it. You’d never doubted it, that he found you beautiful. He seemed especially happy himself whenever you were beaming with happiness and good energy, smiling at him until your cheeks hurt.
That was, until you had to accompany him to a magazine photoshoot. He was reluctant to go, because he disliked this sort of stuff. But you thought you’d spare Thomas the headache and promised to accompany him instead.
Now here you were, surrounded by staff and makeup artists, while Rafayel was posing in the middle of the setup, as he did for the past hour, his eyes occasionally seeking you. You were happy he seemed to at least tolerate the idea of being photographed 20 times per minute, or at least not pouting at you between breaks.
It wasn’t until the photographer asked for a set of pictures with the two of you, something about looking good on the front page. You smiled politely and followed Rafayel in the center of the setup, following the photographer’s instructions. Everything was fine, until you smiled a little too brightly, making the photographer sigh subtly and ask you to refrain from doing that, because it won’t look good at all, and would seem too fake.
The smile never left your face faster.
The photographer, oblivious, was already rattling off the next pose. Rafayel did not move. His hand found the small of your back instead, warm through the silk of your dress, broad, possessive in a way, and stayed there, anchoring you while he tilted his head slowly, “Sorry, repeat that, please.”
The photographer repeated it, less confidently this time.
“And here I thought I heard you wrong,” Rafayel’s mouth twitched, “Interesting. Because I’m pretty sure I’m the one whose face is on the brief. And I’m pretty sure I asked her to be in the shot because she has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever painted. So we can either do it the way I want, or you can find someone else’s gallery to leech off.”
He didn’t raise his voice once, but quite frankly, he didn’t need to. The studio went very still around you, and you watched the photographer reassess the entire situation and his entire afternoon in real time and arrive at the only sensible conclusion.
“...Of course, Mr. Rafayel. Apologies. Whenever you’re ready.”
Rafayel hummed, but you knew he was still displeased. He turned his head and looked at you, his eyes moving over your face like he was making sure nothing had been damaged.
His thumb stroked once against your spine.
“Smile for me, cutie.”
“Raf—”
“Mhm. Give me the proper one. The one that hurts your cheeks.”
You felt your throat do something stupid. He was watching you with that infuriating, patient softness he reserved exclusively for you—the one that always made you feel less like a person and more like something very precious and treasured—and you smiled because you couldn’t not, embarrassed and full and a little wet at the corners of your eyes, and the camera went off three times in quick succession before either of you noticed.
The photographer chose one of those for the cover.
Later, in the car, when you mumbled something self-conscious about the whole thing, Rafayel who was sprawled in the passenger seat, scrolling through the proofs on his phone, tipped his screen toward you without looking up.
“Look at this. Look at her, cutie. Tell me again that smile shouldn’t be on a magazine.”
You looked. Your whole face was on fire.
“I have been trying to paint your smile for months. Months. Do you know how many canvases I’ve gone through? Because I can’t get it right. Because every single time you smile at me it’s different, and every single time it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and some guy with a camera told you to stop, just like that.”
His thumb traced the corner of your mouth. Your eyes stung.
“You smile however you want,” he breathed, pressing his forehead to yours, his voice cracking open into something raw and unhidden and so entirely him. “Smile so wide it blinds everyone that looks at you, okay? I’ll make sure to get it right after, I promise.”
You kissed him before you could think about it
He saved that photo as his lockscreen on the way home.
Zayne
It came out at dinner, unceremoniously, the way most of your soft confessions did with Zayne—sandwiched between a comment about the weather and you asking him to pass the salt. I never really like smiling in pictures, some photographer told me not to once and I guess it stuck.
You said it lightly. You did not mean for it to land.
Zayne set his fork down.
It was the smallest gesture, but you knew Zayne. Setting the fork down meant you had his full and undivided attention, and his full and undivided attention was rarely a comfortable thing to be on the receiving end of. The corner of his mouth tightened. The corner of his eyes did the same.
“That was unprofessional of him.”
“It’s fine, Zayne, it was years ago—”
“It’s not fine. He was wrong to say that, and to make you feel like you had to believe him.”
He crossed the table. Stood in front of you, close enough that you had to tip your chin up to meet his eyes—green and steady and warmer than he’d ever let you see. His hand came up, cool fingertips brushing a strand of hair from your face with a gentleness that made the ache in your chest bloom slow and sweet.
“When we were children,” he offered quietly, “you used to smile at my snow seals.”
“The ones that looked like snowballs?”
The faintest twitch at the corner of his mouth. “They were anatomically accurate.” his thumb grazed your cheekbone. “That smile is one of the few things I’ve carried from that time. I’d rather not hear that someone convinced you to put it away.”
Your vision blurred. You blinked hard, fast.
“Your smile is one of my favorite things about you.”
That was the problem with Zayne, that was always the problem, because he never said anything he didn’t mean, and you were left sitting there with your face on fire and your throat doing something stupid while he calmly and tenderly looked at you
You did not bring it up again. Zayne, however, did.
It was two weeks later. A hospital fundraiser, formal portraits in the lobby, you on his arm in a dress he had not been able to take his eyes off all evening. The photographer was one of those important, brusque men who treated his subjects like inventory, and when you smiled politely at the lens he barked at you to fix your face.
Zayne’s hand that was resting on the small of your back went still.
He tilted his head, only a fraction, but it was enough for you to feel—for the first time, vividly—exactly why his interns at the hospital were a little frightened of him.
“I’m sorry.” his voice was perfectly level. Perfectly polite. Perfectly cold. “Could you repeat that. I want to make sure I heard you correctly.”
The photographer did not repeat it. Zayne raised one eyebrow slightly, waiting.
“That’s what I thought. We’ll be using a different photographer for the rest of the evening. Thank you for your time.”
He walked you off the floor without looking back. His thumb rubbed one slow, grounding circle against your spine.
In the car, he reached across the console and tipped your chin gently toward him with two cool fingers.
“Smile for me.”
“Zayne—”
“Humor me.”
You did, embarrassed, helpless. He looked at you for a long, quiet moment. Then he leaned across and kissed you slowly, making you smile against his lips even more.
Xavier
Xavier found out the way Xavier found out everything. By watching very carefully, by giving you his undivided attention.
You were lying on his chest on the couch, idly scrolling through old photos on your phone while he drifted in and out of his usual soft afternoon doze, when you flicked past one a little too quickly. You didn’t think he’d noticed. It was foolish hope, because Xavier always noticed.
“Go back.”
“It’s nothing, Xav—”
“Go back, please.”
You sighed and did. He looked at the picture for a long moment, making you chew on your lower lip, a bit nervous of what he’ll think. What he’ll say. You were not smiling in it. You looked beautiful and remote and a little sad, and your stomach did the small uncomfortable lurch it always did when you saw photos of yourself from those years.
“Why aren’t you smiling, starlight?”
So it came out. Quietly, into his collarbone. The photographer years ago, the offhand comment about how it didn’t suit you, the little knot it had left somewhere in your chest that you’d never quite managed to pick loose. Xavier listened without interrupting. His hand kept stroking, slow and steady, up and down your arm. When you finished, he was quiet for so long you thought, briefly, that he’d fallen asleep.
He hadn’t.
“He was wrong.”
Just that. Soft and final, the voice he used when he was stating something he considered a fact about the universe, making you let out a breath you weren’t aware you were holding.
“Your smile is the best thing in the world, the brightest light in the universe. I don’t think he knew what he was looking at.”
You did not know what to do with that. You hid your face in his shirt instead, holding back tears. He let you.
The next time it mattered was three weeks later, a magazine feature on rising hunters, lots of lights and a photographer who kept snapping at you to drop the grin—it doesn’t suit your bone structure. You felt yourself start to wilt. You felt the old reflex come back, the fold-in one, the be smaller one.
Xavier was leaning against the wall by the equipment cart in his own uniform, half-shadowed the way he always seemed to be. He pushed off it, face unreadable.
He walked into the frame, slid one arm around your waist, and tilted his head at the photographer with that pleasant, rather calm expression that had fooled approximately seven hundred Wanderers into thinking he was a pushover.
“She smiles or we don’t shoot.” said softly. Said very softly.
The photographer coughed lightly, changed his approach with the speed of a man who had just realized the ceiling was on fire, and the next ten frames were nothing but you laughing, because Xavier was murmuring something stupid against the shell of your ear about how the photographer’s mustache looked like it had personal opinions, and you were trying, and failing, to keep a straight face.
The shot they used was the one where you were cracking up.
You found the printed copy three weeks later, framed on his nightstand. He had not mentioned it once, which was worse, because now you couldn’t hold your tears back anymore.
Caleb
Caleb already knew.
That was the thing that got you, when you finally pieced it together. He’d known for years. He’d been there for everything—every school photo day where you’d pressed your lips together, every family picture where you’d angled your face just so, every time you’d caught your own reflection mid-laugh and flinched.
He’d been watching and taking note of every single time it happened, waiting for the right moment to bring it up.
The right moment, apparently, was a quiet evening in his apartment in Skyhaven, you curled up on his couch with a blanket while he cooked something that smelled like garlic and you had been craving since the last time you visited him. Your phone buzzed with a reminder of the new Association ID photos due tomorrow, and you groaned.
“What’s up pips? What’s got you all grumpy over there?” he glanced over his shoulder, wooden spoon in hand.
“Photo day at the Association.” you pulled the blanket higher. “I hate photo days.”
Caleb turned off the stove, wiped his hands on a towel, crossed the room with an easy stride and sat on the arm of the couch, looking down at you.
“Is it because of the smiling thing?”
You stiffened. “How did you—”
“Pips, I know you better than anyone,” he scoffed lightly, ruffling your hair, “I was there. Fourth grade, when the school photographer told you your smile was too gummy and you should try closing your mouth a little. You practiced in the bathroom mirror for twenty minutes before the retake.” his eyebrows knitted together, clearly displeased at the memory, “You missed recess that day.”
The memory hit like a sucker punch—sharp and specific and so small it shouldn’t have mattered, except that it did, it always had, and the fact that he remembered the recess part made something crack open behind your sternum.
“You remember that?”
His hand found the top of your head again. Fingers threading through your hair with a gentleness that contradicted every sharp, commanding air he’d honed in the years since— Colonel, pilot, the version of himself that could make a room go silent with a look.
“I remember everything about you.” he stated it like a fact, smile vanishing and turning his features into something dead serious, “Including the part where you came back from that retake looking like someone had taken something from you.”
Your throat closed. He tugged gently at a strand of your hair, tipped your face up. His eyes—purple and warm and so familiar it made your bones ache—searched yours.
“I should’ve said something back then.” his voice dropped, the playfulness stripped away, leaving something raw underneath. “I should’ve told that guy he was wrong. I should’ve told you—” his jaw worked, “You smiled at me after every basketball game. Didn’t matter if we won or lost. You were always there in the stands, grinning like an idiot, and it was the only thing I looked for.”
Oh.
A tear slipped. Then another. You pressed your face into his side, breathing in laundry soap and engine grease and something warm beneath both, and his arm came around you tightly, pulling you closer.
“Smile in the stupid photos,” he murmured into your hair. “The real one, pips. The big one that makes your eyes crinkle and the one that makes my heart beat faster every time I am lucky enough to witness it. I don’t care what some hack said, and neither should you.”
You laughed, wet and muffled against his shirt. His arm tightened, chin resting on the top of your head.
“And if the photographer gives you trouble tomorrow,” he added, deceptively light, “give me his name.”
“Caleb.” you warned, even though you were smiling through your tears.
“I’m just saying. Gravity is a very persuasive force.”
Sylus
You didn’t tell Sylus.
Naturally, Sylus found out anyway, because privacy was a concept that existed for other people in other, less surveilled relationships. The Twins—bless their chaotic, undying loyalty to gossip—had mentioned it to him after Kieran caught you pressing your lips together in the middle of a photo during some event, and you’d waved it off with a quick, “Oh, I just don't smile in pictures. Old habit. A photographer said it didn’t look good.”
So when he brought it up three days later in the warmth of his study, you weren’t surprised. You were just... tired of it.
“A photographer.” Sylus turned the word over like he was inspecting it for structural flaws. He was standing by the window, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a glass of wine, and the city lights of the N109 Zone cut across the sharp lines of his face. “Told you not to smile, and you took his word for it.”
“It was a professional opinion, Sy.” you didn’t look up from the book you weren’t reading.
“It was an insult.” he crossed the room, that unhurried prowl that always made your pulse do something inconvenient. Stopped in front of your chair and leaned down, one hand bracing against the armrest, the leather creaking softly near your head. “And a stupid one.”
“Sylus—”
“Look at me.”
You looked. Those red eyes, close and warm and stripped of their usual sharp amusement, held something you’d only started recognizing recently—something that lived underneath the teasing and the power and the walls. Something that ached, something stupidly tender.
“Sweetie.” his long fingers found your chin, tilted it up. “You truly think I don’t notice? Every time someone pulls out a phone, you go still. You arrange your face like it’s a mask.” His thumb traced the line of your jaw. “You think I like that? Watching you hide?”
The lump in your throat swelled. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Then why does it still bother you?” the tone’s too soft. Almost too tender for you to be able to brush it off.
Your eyes burned. He waited until you found your voice again, until you were sure your voice wouldn’t tremble. He was good at that, when it mattered—at carving out a silence and holding it open for you.
“Because I believed him,” you breathed, and the admission tasted like something bitter and small. “And now I can’t stop.” you closed your eyes briefly, wincing, “I already know it’s stupid, you don’t have to say it.”
When you finally opened your eyes again, you noticed his expression changed entirely. It wasn’t mocking or pitying it any way you expected it to be. What was left was quieter, rawer, the door you weren’t supposed to see standing wide open.
He leaned in and pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth, right where your smile started, right where you always caught it and pulled it back.
“Then I'll just have to keep reminding you just how beautiful it truly is,” he murmured against your skin, “until you believe me instead.”
What truly made you feel seen was weeks later when Sylus made good on his words. He’d been roped into one of those tedious things—a charity his name was attached to, a glossy society piece—and he’d insisted that you be in the shot with him. You were in some absurd dress that cost more than a small car. The photographer had been clipped with you all afternoon and you had not said anything, because saying something would have meant naming the small unpleasant feeling still present in your chest, and you’d had enough practice at not naming it.
“Less teeth, please.”
You stopped smiling, the same old reflex.
Sylus, beside you, did not appear to react. Sylus never appeared to react, but his thumb where it rested at the base of your spine, dragged one slow, considering circle. You were a bit tense and nervous that he would say something harsh, even though you knew him better than that.The photographer did not notice. The photographer was not that observant.
“Sweetheart.” Sylus’s lips just brushed your temple lazily, “Why did you stop smiling?”
“He told me to.”
“Is that so?” That was all he said. He turned very slowly and looked at the photographer with an expression that had not changed at all and was, somehow, exponentially worse for it.
“Pray tell, what is your name?”
The photographer told him.
“Lovely. Pack up.”
“I—sir, we haven’t finished—”
“You’ve finished.” The same drawl. The same mild smile. “You’ve finished a great deal, actually. The shoot, this commission. Your contract with my organization. All of it. Very industrious of you. Do go.”
The photographer went quickly, clocking he was, most likely, in danger. Sylus turned back to you, expression softer now, a little wicked, and he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear with the kind of attention that always made your knees do something embarrassing.
“Now. You. Smile for me, kitten.”
“Sylus—”
“Indulge me. I’m replacing the photographer.”He raised his phone. You could not help but laugh, surprised and helpless, your face hot. He took the picture exactly then. The look on his face when he looked at it was the closest thing to unguarded you had ever seen him wear.
nobody “writes like ai” as long as they write, then they write. period. there’s no “writing like ai”. because by saying someone “writes like ai”, you’re implying that ai actually writes and that ai is the blueprint. but what ai does is mimic human-made works.
ai writes (aka they’re mimicking) like humans. not the other way around.
saying “this writer writes like ai” is the equivalent of saying “your work looks like those other works that copied yours”
cw; L is his own tw, imposter syndrome, explicit nsfw, mdni 18+
genie's notes; yayyy commissioned piece for @ozzgin !!! thank you ozzy my beloved for giving me the opportunity to write about my man ♡ if this feels long that's bc it is LOL i was having sm fun writing it got to 4k words,, can you tell i'm bonkers for this guy,, nevertheless, i hope you enjoy reading as much as i did writing :D
“Take a picture,” you murmur. “It’ll last longer.”
“I know.”
You spare the man sitting besides you a quick glance. Despite the numerous dossiers emptied out onto the oak table before you, the detective’s attention is transfixed solely on you. Has been, for the past few hours.
“Ryuzaki?” You try again, hoping he’ll get the hint this time.
Stop fucking staring at me.
No such luck. He only tilts his head to the side expectantly and you wonder, not for the first time, whether he enjoys playing the fool, or if he’s just truly ignorant of your discomfort.
You don’t know which answer would be worse.
What you do know is that you can count on both hands the number of times you’ve been alone in a room with L. After all, it’s the exact same number of times that you’ve silently prayed for Kira to do you a favour and take you next.
The memory of the rest of the task force’s departure is still vivid. Yagami’s sympathetic smile. Matsuda’s shameless commiserations.
You can barely think. The sensation is strangely claustrophobic. Even now, you can feel the weight of his gaze settling over you like a burden.
With a weary sigh, you turn back to the pictures you’re thumbing through. All images of Kira’s most recent victims; their pale faces and milky eyes stare back at you with accusation. Months have passed without any sufficient leads and sure, you pull at loose threads when you can—but the mystery never quite unravels itself the way you hope for it to. There are no frayed edges. No loose seams.
Whoever this guy is, you can tell the smug son of a bitch takes pride in his work. Has you working overtime, too.
The wall clock across the room reads twenty minutes until five, but you didn’t really need to check the time to know that. With how high up you are, you can already glimpse the makeshift beginnings of dawn through the narrow gaps between Tokyo’s neon-lit buildings.
Screw this.
You’re going to cut your losses; already know you’re not getting any work done in these conditions. Better to mull over the details in the privacy of your own space—far from prying eyes.
You take the opportunity to flick through the pictures of civilian corpses once more, committing the details of the dead men’s faces to memory before finally tossing the alarmingly heavy file down onto the desk in front of you, where it lands with a resounding, strangely satisfying thud.
L doesn’t even flinch.
“I’m going home,” you announce, actively making an effort to avoid meeting the man’s eyes. Your chair scrapes against the floor as you stand, and the noise is unbearably loud within the otherwise silent room.
“So soon?”
You laugh at that. “It’s four in the morning, Ryuzaki.”
“Hm. So it is.”
“Time flies,” you shrug on your coat. “When are you going to leave?”
You ask out of politeness rather than any genuine curiosity. The question mumbled absently as you rummage around in your pockets for your hotel keycard.
You’re not from Tokyo. Just staying here for as long as the task force needs you to. Called in months ago from a nearby prefecture because of your stellar track record. You like to think you’re intelligent, and that Japan’s top minds recognised that about you. You suppose it doesn’t really hurt that you’ve got some connections to the national police force.
Though you’re glad to be trusted with the case, and happy to be here—you’ve never really cared much for the city of Tokyo itself. You miss the humdrum of the countryside; the constant chirping of cicadas hidden amidst tall blades of grass. A clear, blue sky unblemished by the fine points of soulless skyscrapers. Weaving through crowds without wondering whether one of them might be the mass murderer you’re hunting down.
L’s monotonous drawl snaps you out of your thoughts. Brings you back to exactly where you are right now and not necessarily where you’d prefer to find yourself, instead.
“I won’t.”
“You won’t?”
“Yes,” he repeats. Enunciates the syllables as if speaking to a child. No further clarification.
“I’m sorry.” You’re really not. “Are you seriously going to sleep here again?” You honestly don’t mean to sound disrespectful but the incredulity in your tone is difficult to mask. Much less in the presence of the world’s greatest detective.
The stories are true. You found them difficult to believe at first, but since then, you’ve confirmed the extent of L’s genius with your own observations. The man before you can function perfectly without any sleep for days on end. You remember the first time you’d left the office; come back the next morning to find L hadn’t moved an inch from where you’d left him last night.
Even still, it’s hard not to notice the prominent bags under his black eyes. The state of his clothes, all crumpled. The greasy, unkempt hair that frames his face. Despite his intellect, he’s still only human.
Even if it can be alarmingly easy to forget that.
“Why?” L asks blankly. “Are you offering me an alternative?”
Briefly, you think of the deputy director learning, come morning, that you’d left L to his own devices; The hard lines of disappointment marring his features. The disapproval in his otherwise polite gaze. He can’t be left alone. Something about being far too valuable, if you recall correctly. Or did he say vulnerable?
Regardless, you already feel like some charity case, even though you know that you’ve clawed your way to be here; called in favours and kissed the feet of men far beneath you. You deserve to be on the Kira task force as much as everybody else. Yet, you know what your answer will be long before you’ve even said anything.
Something tells you L knows, too. He’s never been the sort of man to ask questions that serve him no greater purpose.
Sometimes, you detest people like Matsuda for the ease with which they inhabit such unwelcoming spaces so boldly. The ability to exist so openly, without inhibition. But you detest yourself most of all, especially in moments like this where you’re burdened by the need to prove your belonging.
Well–
Are you offerring me an alternative?
–Shit.
“Yes.” you concede, not even bothering to look back at him as you reach to call for the elevator. Press the button with considerably more force than you should. “I suppose I am.”
You’re not nice. You’re certainly not charitable. But you are easy.
You spare him an exasperated glance over your shoulder when the doors finally slide open with a yielding sigh. From behind you, L makes no indication to move. You begin to doubt if he’s even heard you. Or, more specifically, whether he was ever really listening to begin with. His black eyes can feel so fucking vacant, sometimes.
“You coming?” you impatiently tap your foot against the carpeted floor as you hold the elevator open with narrowed eyes. “Or do I need to send you an invitation, Ryuzaki?”
“No need.” At that, L finally stands. He offers you one of his rare, private smiles; “I believe you already have.”
-
There are a couple of things you come to notice about L that day, when the ongoing investigation isn’t at the forefront of your buzzing mind.
It’s there, of course, because it’s difficult for any person to forget all of those dead faces; the list of unanswered questions growing by the hour—but the moment you slide your key into the lock and it turns with a satisfying click to open right into your little hotel room, it feels like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders.
Take, for example, L’s penchant to be barefoot. He immediately steps out of his shoes the moment you kick the door shut behind you. Sinks his toes into the carpet (stained, and scratchy) with a blissful sigh.
You're choosing to ignore that.
Better not to drive yourself up the wall by paying attention to every little thing he does.
“Hungry?” you shrug off your coat and toss it onto the sofa.
“Sure.” And it’s not exactly a response, but you think this is the best you’re going to get from the man. Go rummaging through the fridge straight away, as you wave for him to take a sit in the tiny living room across from you.
“I know you have a sweet tooth,” The leather sofa crackles beneath his weight as he perches right on the edge, legs tucked up against his chest and his head resting over his knees sideways; so that he’s watching you in the kitchen. “So I’m cutting you a slice of some cake I made last weekend. Couldn’t finish it by myself if I tried.”
You eye him wearily as you set down the plates on the coffee table before the sofa, making sure to leave as much distance as is possible between the two of you when you sit down.
He sort of reminds you like a cat when he's like this, all curled up and comfortable. When he tries his first spoonful of sponge cake, he might as well start purring with delight. “This is good,” he mumbles between bites. “I didn’t know you could bake.”
“Yeah?” You impatiently drum your fingers against the armrest. “Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
The moment stretches for longer than it should.
You meet the detective’s eyes head on, find they’re as wide as saucers, staring back at you; and peering right inside. It feels downright voyeuristic and so fucking violating, the way you can feel him peeling back everything that you are to assess something nestled much, much deeper within.
You look away first, and the moment you do, you hear L hum approvingly—he sounds pleased, almost.
And though you know he would never seriously consider you competition, you still can’t shake the strange feeling that you’ve lost at something.
“No." L concludes. "No, I don’t think so.”
He sets his plate down on the table with a clink and you’re not surprised to find he’s already finished eating. All that remains is a single cherry; so violently red against the pale porcelain it sits on.
“Tell me,” He pinches the stem between his forefinger and thumb, and it’s the first reprieve you’re gifted from the weight of his calculating gaze; as his attention shifts to the sweet fruit he holds. “Why do you hate me?”
Shit, you realise your fingers are digging into the cracks in the leather armrest; flex your hand a few times before making an attempt to calmly fold them in your lap. Maybe because you make me feel like a fucking failure?
“I think you’re too smart for your own good.”
He gives that some thought. “As are you.”
It’s laughable, really. L is leagues above you in terms of intelligence. Prestige. Power. Who are you standing next to one of the greatest minds in the world? Who are you to deign that he recognises you?
You refuse to even recognise yourself.
“You don’t believe that,” you scoff.
“I do. I knew it from the moment you were first introduced to me.”
You pick up on something strange about the way he phrases it; the necessity of awareness required from both parties in a first introduction.
I'm losing it.
You shake your head, abandoning the tendrils of something akin to unease that had just begun to creep up on you. When else would he have first known you? It's a stupid thought. You’re not exactly the sort of person preceded by some magnificent reputation.
“Sure,” you decide to entertain him nevertheless, if only to see how far he’ll go. You wonder whether this is as close to gratitude as L can express, but is it for the hospitality or for the cake or for something in between? “And why was that, Ryuzaki?”
“L,” he corrects you. “Because even then, you wanted nothing to do with me.”
“And that’s what supposedly makes me a genius?” you scrunch your nose, “because I don’t like you?”
“So you insist on maintaining,” he drawls.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Did you know, detective,” L ventures thoughtfully, “your heart rate always spikes quite dramatically whenever you’re alone with me.” His black eyes flicker to meet yours as he breaks off the stem—pops the cherry between his grinning lips.
You dig your nails into the skin of your palm. Focus on the sharp sensations of precise pain; imagine the little indents of crescent moons that will litter your skin later on.
“Ah,” your voice is unfamiliar even to your own ears. “Is that so?”
He eats the stem next, and you notice, not for the first time, that the man's skin is so pale, it’s like a thin sheet has been stretched tight over brittle bones. You can easily trace the jagged lines of blue and purple veins that curl around and underneath his face.
L’s lithe fingers reach into his mouth where the dark stem sits between his teeth. You catch a glimpse of his tongue as he pulls out the stem, now damp, and examines it between his fingers; holds it up to the light.
It takes you a few moments to realise he must be admiring his efforts. Or, rather just observing them. You’re not really sure if L is capable of awe. Whether he cares for it, given how easily he earns it; must not mean much to him.
(You’ll find out later that he is capable of awe, though there are more important things he hopes to garner.)
The cherry stem’s all folded up on itself; he’s tied it into a knot with his tongue.
Instinctively, your eyes dart to his mouth. “I didn’t know you could do that,” you confess lowly. “Neat party trick, huh?”
And the moment you voice the thought, you wish you’d stayed silent. The curl of his lips is infuriatingly self-satisfied, as if he’s in on some grand secret you’re not quite privy to; it feels the closest L will ever get to outright mockery, yet even then, there is something you must have mistaken for sincerity in his gaze.
You’re not sure whether that makes you feel better, or worse.
“There’s a lot,” L confesses slowly, “that you don’t know about me.”
It doesn’t escape you that even something as simple as this sounds truer when L says it.
-
Later, the dishes have been cleared away and though you can barely keep your eyes open, you’re rummaging through your suitcase to pass him a new toothbrush because, you insist, you always carry spares. L admits he's never had to brush his own teeth before.
One hand on his jaw, and another curled around the brand new toothbrush you'd managed to dig out for him, you give him a reluctant demonstration.
You don't think he listens to a word you say; his attention seems to be focused elsewhere.
After his turn, you pad into the attached bathroom and brush your own teeth with the overhead lights switched off.
Tired, you don’t notice as you unscrew the lid of your old toothpaste that your own brush’s bristles are wet, whereas the toothbrush you’d handed to L is still unopened in its plastic packaging, left positioned neatly by the basin.
-
L is garishly tall.
It can be easy to forget that considering how often he’s hunched over a desk or curled up in a chair. When he stretches to yawn, his shirt rides up his abdomen, revealing a pale sliver of skin underneath. You avert your gaze. The last thing you need is to be caught staring.
“Take the bed,” you offer, already sinking into the loveseat's cushions.
L stares at you as he scratches his jaw. “I don’t sleep in beds.”
You don’t even want to begin deciphering that statement. You’re beginning to think this cryptic act is purposeful; that he gets off on being evasive. Out of reach.
You’re not even sure if he can see you, considering how dark it is in the room, but you put on your sweetest smile all the same. It feels vindictive and thrilling and you believe it’s the least he deserves.
“Well, cheers to trying new things, Ryuzaki.”
He says nothing in response, and even though he’s nothing more than a vague silhouette in the absence of light, you manage to make out the slowly way he climbs into the bed—crawls to the edge of the Queen bed that’s closest to your own spot. Pulls up the duvet to his chin, and lies on his side so he's directly facing you.
It’s unnerving. You wish desperately in times like these that you could click his head open like a purse and look inside; it's impossible to tell what he's thinking.
And then he starts talking.
-
Finally, there’s a lull in your conversation that stretches far too long.
You make no effort to salvage the exchange, relishing in its conclusion, and much to your relief, neither does your partner. It’s not necessarily that L’s bad company but it’s also not not that he’s impossibly infuriating to talk to. You just want to sleep. It's been a long fucking day.
You close your eyes, allowing a welcome silence to settle inside the stuffy room.
…
Then you try to ignore it.
…
You really, really do.
…
Much to your dismay, even your best efforts prove futile. The quiet doesn’t last nearly as long as you’d like.
“Ryuzaki,” In the face of overwhelming fatigue, all niceties are forgotten and honesty reigns supreme. “Why the fuck can I feel your eyes on me?”
“I can’t sleep,” he simply responds, in lieu of a proper answer.
You might’ve laughed if you weren’t so tired. Unlike him, you unfortunately do not have the seemingly inhumane ability to function properly without multiple consecutive nights of sleep. So, with a long sigh, you decide to let it slide.
Just one more time.
Then, with disapproval evident in your weary voice, because it would feel too much like accepting defeat to say nothing at all; “you know, normal people usually just count sheep.”
“Mm." The sheets rustle. "Sleep well.”
“...Thanks. You, too.”
Behind the heavy blackout curtains of the hotel room, the sky turns a soft, dreamy lilac.
Outside, some parts of Tokyo wake up to the mellifluous sound of morning’s first birdsong, and others take that as their queue to drunkenly stumble home in search of a warm bed to fall into.
On the busy streets dozens of stories below yours, the city moves as it always does. Vibrant and alive—though waiting with bated breath in anticipation of death; Kira the only constant in this new world.
You don’t even realise you’ve dozed off in the armchair; sleep is simply a welcome reprieve from such a long day. A privilege, and not the routine it used to be.
You dream of running away from something. Of simply falling through a solid floor.
Conversely, though he has taken your advice, L finds rest evades him.
Content with staying awake, he takes the rare opportunity to simply observe you from across the room, and it’s such a fascinating sight, to finally see you so at peace. You usually run on such a short fuse. Well-meaning, but difficult to deal with nonetheless. You like to be seen; hate to be stared at.
Aren’t you a charmer?
In the pale beginnings of dawn, he is a silent shepherd. He smiles at the thought, whilst gnawing on his thumbnail.
The sheep he counts all have your face.
-
You’re not sure what exactly it is that wakes you up, but it’s quiet when you do.
Even still, something causes you to stir, and before you know it, you’re pulled out of a sleep you hadn’t even realised you’d fallen into with bleary, blinking eyes that adjust to the dark and land on—
Nothing. A startling absence where L’s body should be.
The bed’s empty, and the crinkled duvet has been hastily tossed to one side. You notice that the warm glow of the nauseatingly yellow bathroom lighting spills out from behind the door, left open just a crack. It strikes you as strange, that the door’s not fully closed. You feel justified in looking in. Call it concern. Curiosity.
Does it really matter?
“Ryuzaki?” you venture, stepping closer. No answer. The silence is strangely more overbearing when you’re standing right in front of the bathroom door. With a hand resting on the brass knob, you decide to try once more. “Hey. L?” Silence, still and true.
It feels a lot like peering into Pandora’s box, when you inevitably do push the door open.
Look inside. And, huh—
There is L, hunched over the sink.
In one hand, he is holding what is unmistakably your underwear. You recognise the soft cotton instinctively, even though it’s balled up tight in his fist and he’s pressing the fabric against his nose; shuddering when he breathes in, languidly long and deep like a desperate smoker's drag of his last cigarette.
The lighting overhead casts sweeping shadows over his pale face, but despite the darkness the rest of his features are enshrouded in, you still manage to make out those black eyes; blown wide, wide open. Thick and heavy like eerily lucid, deep, dark pools of tar you can feel yourself getting sucked into.
His hand works at a methodologically steady pace. His breathing is perfectly controlled as he works at his cock with deft fingers. His tip is flushed a painful pink, leaks pre that’s been smeared down the shaft’s length. Between glimpses, you manage to make out prominent veins that eagerly pulse in response to his touch.
Proud. Heavy.
Hungry to sink into something far tighter than his fist.
—Your breath catches in your throat. It is impossible to look away.
The following moments are hazy, at best. Time seems to slow down to a crawl when the scene before you clicks into place, and the world moves in still frames after that; the last one lingering too long and imposing over the next.
You don’t remember saying anything, but you must have let a gasp slip past your parted lips. Stumbled backwards, perhaps. Some involuntary indication of your presence, peering in behind him.
Time fractures completely when L looks up; gaze snapping straight to meet yours in the mirror.
You catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection, looking so laughably petrified—clearly just having rolled out of bed. There is not a single thing to be said as he lets his black eyes wander, appraisal silent and shameless as he drinks in the state of you; all tousled hair and crumpled clothes and bare feet.
His hands work faster then. His movements grow jerkier, breathing shallow. Eyes flutter shut, finally looking away from you, as his grip on your underwear tightens—knuckles white from the sheer effort of holding on, refusing to let go and inhaling your scent—nose buried desperately deep in the dirty cotton. Pathetically fervent. Chasing that blissful high with a new vigour.
You have been taught by many a smart man to never go seeking answers to questions when you do not wish to face them.
And so, when you glimpse this stranger’s tongue dart out to wet his cracking, dry lips the exact moment they wrap around the shape of a familiar name—hear the syllables repeated with a devotion akin to reverence; something like prayer—the man shudders exactly when you do.
Comes undone just as you slam the door shut.
You’re standing there in what you think might be shock, with a shaking hand resting against the doorknob. You choose to focus on the way in which the hair on your arm stands on end. Because if it’s not that, it’d be the sound of the tap running.
The door swings open abruptly. The man breezes past you, and quietly crawls back into bed. Rooted to where you stand, it’s all you can do to turn over your shoulder and observe him.
He catches you staring, merely tilts his head to the side from where he’s settled into the sheets, a coy little lilt to his lips.
For the first time, you’re the one who doesn’t look away. Couldn’t, even if you tried. Stygian strands of hair fall over his eyes, the darkest black they’ve ever been. Despite the fact that it feels like you’re staring at a stranger, facing him is familiar, as it always is; like wading into a thick tar.
Viscous and heavy and clinging.
You might’ve missed what he said if you weren’t so hyper focused on his every minute movement. His words are barely above a whisper, after all, and carry a strange lilt—as if recited, almost. Like he’s reading a line; performing some private joke.
“Take a picture,” L smiles knowingly. “It’ll last longer.”
hii i think i'm late for this... but better late than never, right?
i don't know how familiar you are with david's characters in 2025 (josh, joe, the gemini killers, gurathin, joseph and the gun for hire in dust bunny), but... how do you suppose they'll treat their mini me??
hi anon! I love getting asks so never assume you’re late to asking me something ^-^.
I’m only familiar with a handful of David’s characters (bob taylor, johnson, abner, wojchek, jack delroy, and murdoc). I don’t really know much about his other roles - feel free to spam me about them - so I can’t really give much of an answer, sorry.
how would Jack Delroy react to his teenage daughter dating a boy?
I don’t think he would have a dramatic reaction. He would probably be mildly interested but not ask any in depth questions. I can see him not being very knowledgeable of what goes on in his kids lives. So, he probably wouldn’t even notice until someone told him that his daughter was seeing someone. However, if his daughter were to date someone in the industry who is established and well known (probably a teen heartthrob of some kind), I can see him being the type to casually mention their relationship on his show a couple of times. Perhaps even tries to come across as if he knows him personally, as if they are close. Would try to convince her to stay in the relationship as long as possible, because it’s good for publicity.
Same with the prev anons asks but, who do you think are great dealing with the teens?
Like on a scale from afraid of em, dislike em, and like them
Immediately, I think Johnson would probably be the best, but I can imagine him offering advice to any troubled teenagers that come along. He's sort of in the middle, doesn't dislike them or anything, he won't bother them or make annoying comments about "the youth". I actually think the teens in his neighborhood would probably respect him, or see him as a older brother figure (who doesn't talk much).
Bob Taylor and Abner would definitely be the types to cross the street to avoid a group of teenagers. Are most likely afraid of them, and wouldn't even make eye contact. Silently pray that they aren't noticed at all.
I want to say Jack Delroy dislikes teens, just due to his character (and maybe the time that he's in). Would try and act polite around them, but makes snarky ass comments under his breath when they aren't listening. Maybe envies their youth, especially when he notices that he's getting older and his career is sort of at a standstill.
imagine urban explorer!reader stumbling upon ghost!bob one afternoon, but being unable to capture him on camera. so instead they spend the time drawing him so that they have some sort of proof that they met.
mhhmm i love your headcanon about dad!jack. i've always thought that he'd be mentally not there (given his desire for being number one). however, i do imagine him having a ‘healthy’ relationship with his kid while on the screens (just to please the public eye; common sense). what do you think about that? 🤔
oh anon I can TOTALLY see him attempting to appear close with his child in front of the camera, and trying to keep up the appearance of being a good father figure. I can also see all of the pressure he puts on his kid to be in the limelight and do something in the industry would cause them to rebel. here’s an interesting question though: how do you think Jack would respond to his own child becoming more famous than him?