Howard Likes Eating

[howardlikeseating]

hanukkah

I have a MILLION better things to do then track everything Howard eats because let's face it, he eats a lot and also fuck it.

So let's get this over with. 

Recently it was Hanukkah...or maybe it still is Hanukkah, I don't really know. The point is, Howard has been eating a lot more than usual. The other day he sent me this action shot of some potato mush frying.

Im a sucker for anything fried so I can get behind whatever's going on here.

Then he sent me a picture of his plate. 

Caesar salad and potato pancakes hidden beneath what I will assume is apple sauce.

Why is everything the same colour? What is that other thing? Salmon?  I don't think salmon is supposed to be that colour. 

Howard loves beige-colored foods and insisted it was delicious. Whatever.

Yesterday he sent me this:

What the fuck? This is exactly the same as the other day. What is going on? Is it customary to only eat potato things with mushed apples during Hanukkah or is this just Howard being Howard?

I'm sure it's tasty, but even chocolate cake would get boring if eaten every day

(that's a lie)

Howard and I both know cake never gets boring. 

[howardlikeseating]

dirty dish water

This is my third time writing this post because this stupid fucking website isn't working. Fuck the internet, man.

Howard went for lunch with his mom the other day. Howard's mom fucking loves Howard. She takes him grocery shopping and buys him cake. Entire cakes! Because every day is Howard's birthday.

Insanity.

This is what Howard ate for lunch:

Chicken and sauce, two of Howard's favorite things. Also, cashews. I've mentioned before that Howard loves nuts.

What is this soup? Is that chicken floating in there? It looks like dirty dish water.

JesusfuckingChrist Howard, this the last thing we want to see. I know I keep telling you that everyone wants to see you eating but this is not what I had in mind.

What is that anyway? Some chewed up piece of chicken? Gross.

[howardlikeseating]

juice

Howard loves sugar almost as much as I love sugar. Look at him go to town on that juice! He's a juice maniac. 

What a thirsty guy. 

[howardlikeseating]

grey steaks

Howard made himself lunch the other day and I was around to witness it.

He can't even be bothered to clean the table up first. What is that, a cork?

White bun, white onions, two steaks. Sounds like a Howard sandwich to me.

The grey colour of your steaks is super appetizing, Howard.

[howardlikeseating]

dope-ass ice cream sandwiches

UGH I just can't be bothered to update this dumb blog regularly but HERE WE GO.

The other day me and Howard went to some place and got these dope-ass ice cream sandwiches. Just look at this fucking shit:

Looks awesome RIGHT? It WAS.

Howard ate his way too quickly, as expected. He just mows through his food. Like a machine.

Here is Howard part way through the eating process:

Look at that fucking mess! Howard, don't you know what a napkin is? Clean yourself up for god's sake.

[howardlikeseating]

Little cakes

Sometimes Howard sends me pictures of foods that he would like to eat. Like this:

little cakes shaped like Cars characters? Holy shit. It's every little boys dream.

Too bad I'll never have the patience to make something like that.

Sorry Howard.

[howardlikeseating]

mustard

The other day Howard was eating lunch at Caplanskys. I knew where he was because of the variety of mustards.

Looks like tuna salad right? Wrong. That shit's liver. Howard fucking loves liver.

Kind of gross Howard. And you didn't even put mustard on it. Mustard is the only good thing going for this sandwich.

[howardlikeseating]

something with noodles

Last week Howard was eating lunch at some place. This is what he ate.

Howard fucking loves shrimp. I said that he was probably being a bad jew for eating shellfish but he insisted that these buggers were way too delicious to pass up.

This is proof of him eating.

Why are you eating lunch with a tiny woman?

[howardlikeseating]

we also ate lots of nuts

Today we made a sweet dinner. Luckily, Howard's mom thinks I might convert and marry Howard so she bought him some expensive lamb chops to cook.

Kosher. Obviously.

We put so much great tasting shit on them.

Howard was skeptical when it came to cooking real potatoes since he thinks the stuff from the box is the real deal. What a fool.

Who ever heard of a cake saw? You dont cut cake with a saw, Howard.

But Howard does what he wants.

[howardlikeseating]

chicken?

I like spending my time doing productive things like watching daytime cable and taking naps more than I like updating this stupid thing. Howard hasn't sent me many pictures recently so I can only assume he no longer gives a shit.

He did send me this the other day. Breakfast, I presume. I'm guessing it's breakfast from the orange coloured liquid, but the rest of the items are suspicious.

Is that a chicken? Onions? What is going on?

[howardlikeseating]

in reference to the last title.

This is why we ate so many nuts:

Howard fucking loves nuts. He also thought cashews were pecans.

What a crazy guy.

[howardlikeseating]

Last supper

Howard isn't serious about this blog and hasn't sent me anything food related in a long time.

And then today he sent me this:

This is Howard's grimy kitchen and what looks like the ingredients to a feast.

Just look at the state of that oven mitt. You're not supposed to stick it directly on the flame you know.

Looks like you have all food groups covered. Meat, Garlic bread, croutons, coke.

Once again, he fails to include pictures of himself. That is the entire point of this blog, Howard. You eating.

I feel like rebranding this blog "I like eating" and talk about myself. What a wonderful idea. Thanks for the inspiration, Howard. 

[howardlikeseating]

onion steak

Dinner time!

A big bowl of mush, dry beans and a steak sandwich with a big ass slice of onion.

Howard you weirdo.

Oh boy, does he love it.

I feel sick.

[howardlikeseating]

xxx

Here is Howard getting sexual with a tuna sub

[howardlikeseating]

whats the green stuff?

This is Howard’s dinner. Yes, that is a burger AND a giant chicken leg. Howard is a real man.

I have no proof of Howard actually eating this meal so you’re just gonna have to trust me.

[howardlikeseating]

chinese

Howard went for dinner with his fam to a chinese restaurant.

Way to promote the stereotype Howard.

He was too embarrassed to take a photo of himself eating or something stupid like that. Nobody really cares what your plate looks like Howard we just want to see you eat it.

[howardlikeseating]

stupid road trip

Howard is going on a road trip to somewhere dumb and stopped to eat. Obviously.

Not a very healthy choice Howard.

...And he doesn't even care.