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@howtofailtherapy
I figured out how to leave this account up for archival purposes in case people want to look at it for whatever reason. I will no longer be responding to messages and the inbox is closed. You all have been amazing followers and this has been quite the ride! Thank You!
And so I shall go
It has come to a point in my career and life where running this blog is no longer beneficial. In fact it could get in the way of me pursuing my dream job. It is for this reason I will be deleting it in the near future, I cannot think of a way to archive it while still deleting my account, but if anyone knows a way then you know where my inbox is. I will likely be deleting before weeks end, but this blog helped me through a lot of difficult times and I hope it helped others too. It is with that I say goodbye and do not worry about me, I will be okay and I hope you all will be too!
Have you ever gotten a hug from a T? What are your thoughts about them? I want to ask my T if I can give her a hug when we terminate, but I don't know if they're allowed to do that
Hello Anon,I am not a fan of hugging and have therefore never asked a therapist for a hug. I would assume that it is up to the individual therapist whether or not they are okay with giving a client a hug. I am not sure if there is an ethical guideline for that, but you could always ask whether it would be okay. The worst she can say is no, right? Ask and see.Good Luck,HTFT
Avoiding my responsibilities.
How did your interview go?!
It went really well! I have moved on to the next step in the applicant process. Thanks for asking!
Hello, from person to person, I'd like to assure you that you are so beautiful. You're so amazing and you are worth it. You do not deserve any pain or struggles that come across you. You are so wonderful and you are worth it, so please never give up. From me to you, please stay alive ❤
Hello!
If it is up to me, I won’t be dying anytime soon! I just recently began to enjoy and want life again and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure I keep moving forward! :)
This question has been on my mind for a while. I want to talk about my family problems in therapy but where is the line where confidentiality can be broken? As in, if I tell my therapist about a family member recently engaging in emotionally abusive behavior will they have to intervene? What about sexual abuse that happened almost ten years ago? I want to confide but I don't want my therapist to meddle.
Hello Anon,
Confidentiality is usually broken if you are an imminent risk to yourself or others and in cases of abuse. The best way to know what your therapist will or won’t do is to talk to them about their policies and discuss how he/she decides when it necessary to break confidentiality. This varies from therapist to therapist, but in general as mandated reporters they do have to report abuse or imminent harm.
Good Luck,
HTFT
Hey I was wondering if being sexually abused as a nine year old is counted as trauma? And what if the girl being abused actually liked it and wanted it to continue even as a young girl? What do you think this means?
Hello Anon,
Yes I think this would count as trauma. As for the rest, I do not know the answer, but I think our brains find ways to help us cope and survive and that is what you did. I hope you are seeking out treatment and support for this, and if you aren’t I hope you reach out for any help you may need. As always, if followers have more information than me, feel free to comment below.
With Love, HTFT
@redcherrieblossoms
You seem to be obsessed with the idea that I shouldn’t have a blogged named how to fail therapy, but you clearly aren’t reading closely or your comprehension is poor. as I said before, I named and made the blog four years ago when all I did was post therapy humor. Thus the name of the blog and because people know it by that name, I feel no necessity to change it. The name is also ironic at this point because therapy has in fact been very successful for me.
I have no idea who Kati Morton is ... What I can say though is that I have always and will always have comments open and will take constructive criticism. I also have listened to the opinions of professionals and others with personal experiences when it comes to posts and will post corrections as well as other information if it is made available to me. I, in no way think my opinions are the end all, be all and when I am hesitant to give advice I say so. You may have been told not to give advice under certain circumstances, but someone should tell you that true intelligence is knowing what you don’t know, being able to admit you don’t know, and learning from someone who does know. This is my philosophy, if I don’t know, I will be honest about it which you oddly seem to have a problem with. “I don’t know” is the best answer to give when I don’t have experience or knowledge on a subject and you should learn that sooner rather than later.
My page literally says dozens of times that I am not a mental health professional and to take my advice at your own risk. As I previously explained, my advice is common sense, I don’t google it nor do I act like the things I say are anything special. Sometimes, I too wonder why people ask me questions given my general responses are 1. if you have a problem that gets in the way of you leading life how you would like to, then seek out professional help and 2. communicate clearly with your therapist and talk through any questions you may have about therapy with them. If these responses encourage them to get help or give them some sort of comfort, I will answer them. If you think the way I answer questions here is like a therapist, then you have clearly never been in therapy and if you plan to be a mental health professional you really should.
Finally do you have a degree in how I was educated? Are you knowledgable in how I was educated? No, then why are you giving me advice about my own level of knowledge? I have a masters degree in Political Science, I have several bachelors degrees, I am not a therapist nor was I trained as one. I don’t claim to be a therapist and as you said my advice is a combination of I do not know the answer to your question and common sense responses. If you have specific examples of advice that you disagree with, feel free to let me know in a message, but it seems like you aren’t a trained therapist nor have a degree in psychology so it might be hypocritical to do that.
Side Note: A psychiatrist and a therapist/psychologist are two very different things. If you are training to become a psychiatrist you will be dealing a lot more with chemistry and physiology than with psychology. You will study mostly hard science, not social science. Also you are using specific language and insinuating you have training in psychology in order to give yourself authority. Thus making the base of your argument reliant on a logical fallacy, which results in you looking egotistical and aggressive. I would suggest not relying on appeals to authority when you are trying to make a point, especially when you present yourself and unnamed and potentially non-existent “advisors” as the authority. My education/degree in formal logic, philosophy, political psychology (Asian Politics is the readers digest explanation), english grammar and debate make me knowledgable about this sort of thing and even by your standards allow me to give you that advice.
A Friendly Reminder (in caps but still friendly!) to Everyone Who Reads HTFT:
I AM NOT A THERAPIST
I AM NOT A TRAINED PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSIONAL
USE DISCRETION WHEN FOLLOWING ANY ADVICE I GIVE
ALL ADVICE I GIVE IS FROM EXPERIENCE IN THERAPY AND COMMON SENSE
YOU ARE ALL WORTHWHILE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE TO LIVE A LONG PROSPEROUS LIFE
Why are you giving therapy advice when you are into asian politics? Your responses seem to be a combination of idk and common sense/ google answers
Hello (I am responding publicly because it's in regard to the blog and doesn't give any personal info),To start, I am not "into Asian politics," I have a Master's degree in it, I am educated on it and am well versed in the subject. I am capable of having more than one interest and have a degree in neuroscience and history as well. I am not a trained therapist and have never claimed to be, I have experience with therapy and frankly I draw from that. I started this as a humor blog and then people started asking for advice so I answered based on my life experience. If I don't know the answer to something I won't pretend I do and what is common sense to some is not common sense to others. Having a mental illness or neurodivergent traits can affect the use of the frontal cortex which can affect "common sense." Not just that, but sometimes people just want reassurance or to know they aren't alone, if I can offer that by drawing from my own experiences, then I will. This question seems a bit aggressive, and I am not really sure why you are asking it. What purpose does this serve? Was there an answer you wanted? Was there a something specific you wanted me to say. Did you want to make me feel bad or start an argument? Or are you just genuinely curious about why, but didn't realize your question could be perceived as rude? Whatever it is, I answer questions because people ask and if I think I can offer something helpful I do, and if I don't think I can then there is a community of followers who might have more insight than me.HTFT
When people accuse me of not caring.
When someone overshares in group.
After spending two weeks with my family...
When I am trying to talk with someone but they won’t put down their phone.
If I tell my therapist I recently had intercourse with a 30 year old man (I am 17) will I get in trouble?
Hello Anon,
Errrrr.... I don’t know much about this. I don’t think you will get in trouble, but depending on the age of consent, confidentiality and a number of other things, there may be consequences for yourself and the man you slept with. I won’t go into my own personal opinions about age differences, but if you feel like this is something you need to discuss and talk over then I encourage you talk about it with your therapist. I think it is important to talk about anything you think is important with your therapist and to have open dialogue with them. That being said, I am well beyond 17 and don’t need to worry about this issue in particular. If anyone has experience with this feel free to comment below!
<3 HTFT
Hey so my parents changed my therapist about 3 months ago and at the beginning i really liked her but as time passes by i have been realizing that i don't like her. So i have been thinking, do i need to change therapist again?
Hello Anon,
In the recovery community, I often hear about people not liking their therapist or wanting to change for x, y or z reasons. What I don’t hear often enough, is that sometimes I hate my therapist, and that is because we are working on hard things together and I am uncomfortable with the therapy process. I think we need to make a distinction between how you personally feel about your therapist and how effective therapy is for you. Not liking a therapist or changing feelings about your therapist can be normal and do not necessarily mean you need to change. If you find yourself disliking your therapist, you might want to figure out why you don’t like them, and talk about these feeling with them, especially if therapy with them has been effective.
Now if therapy is ineffective and you also don’t like your therapist, that may be an indication it is time to switch. Effective treatment is what you are going to therapy for, your therapist is not meant to be your friend, but rather a person you can feel comfortable talking to who can help you with the therapeutic goals you have set. My first action if I were in your situation would be to discuss my feelings about my therapist with the therapist. Part of therapy for many people is learning to communicate and express themselves in a safe environment and this might be good to do. If you don’t feel safe discussing this with your therapist, that may be another sign you should seek out someone new. I would give talking about these changing feelings with the therapist first though. You may benefit from talking about this new dislike.
Good Luck,
HTFT
TMI: If it's becoming a problem for you, is sex something you should talk to your therapist about? There's nobody else I can really talk to about it but it's starting to take over my life and I think I'm addicted??? Sorry for the personal question I understand if you don't want to answer but I don't know who to talk to about this, thank you.
Hello Anon,
Sex is absolutely something to talk about with your therapist if it is affecting your life. If your therapist seems uncomfortable with discussing sex you may want to ask why, but most therapists I have worked with are open to talking about emotional aspects of sex including risky or frequent sex. If you aren’t comfortable with discussing these things, remember you don’t have to jump into explicit detail, you could benefit from just talking about why you think you might be addicted. Sex is a part of life for a lot of people, but hyper focus on anything is generally not a good sign.
Safe Sexxxxxing!
HTFT