EYYYYYY

i dont even know anymore age in bio exposes kids, not protects them

[pyaarisms]

just so you know 'jfc' (which you use in a lot of the tags on your posts) is an abbreviation for jesus fucking christ and you probably shouldnt use it if ur not a christian

I can't believe I read this with my own two eyes

[thatstupidache]

They gatekeeping blasphemy now too 💀

[cerusee]

It actually stands for Just Fucking Cidding. I think it’s welsh.

[ariaste]

It does stand for Just Fucking Cidding but it is NOT welsh, it references an 11th century Castilian knight, Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar, called El Cid, the subject of Spain's national epic poem, The Song of my Cid

Cidding is when something happens like you die the night before a battle but your beautiful smart wife is like "fuck fuck fuck this ain't good" so she ties your armored corpse to your horse so you can posthumously lead the troops into battle for Morale and they totally win.

Here is a song summarizing your garden-variety flavor of Cidding:

[reddherring777]

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

[nyctosaurid]

barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies

[nyctosaurid]

ok so like “the secret life of x” movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret… they don’t really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:

There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said

They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)

They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)

They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever. 

and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.

but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons. 

in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.

and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.

anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name

[inkthecryptid]

This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger it’s a little flag that says “bang!”

[todaysbird]

a rare closeup of a black swift, found throughout north america and small parts of south america. swifts are rarely seen up close; they spend more of their life in air than any other species of bird - they eat, drink, mate and sleep while in flight. they are incapable of perching like other birds; they must cling to vertical surfaces.

(x)

[curlicuecal]

I had to look this up because “sleep while in flight” ????

but yeah, apparently completely true.  these birds stay aloft for as much as 10 months nonstop, feed on insects, spend more energy at night (when there aren’t warm thermals to ride) and at dawn and dusk climb to 10,000 ft altitude where the 30 min slow descent is probably when they catch their sleep.

they’re unusually long-lived for such active critters (20 yrs) and they may be limiting energy expenditure by being extremely aerodynamic and narrow bodied.  Also a single bird travels the distance of about 7 roundtrip journeys to the moon in its lifetime (>3 million miles).

[x]

[wizardarchetypes]

i love eating tuna every day and the biomagnification enhances the taste dont worry

[capacity2]

Anthony bourdains show would never be made in this era of time cause cool white guys don’t exist anymore. They’re all smoll beans or Hitler

[capacity2]

This nearly knocked me out it’s so stupid.

Manly man….. bitch that’s a whole ass lesbian

[ceruleanheaven]

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

[krampusmad]

I have let to see a more ungrateful, uneducated post not understanding the reason you get to write something, like this, on tumblr, on the internet, from your home, with NO repercussions from the law, using the infrastructure that grew together with the law, order, and hierarchy, that comes from western civilization, which is built on, guess what. Christianity. one of the main three religions of the world.

People, on average, cannot be atheist. Not the majority, not great people. Especially great people. Almost every truly great person (either with infastructure, civil rights, or art) in history was at least spiritual if not devout.

Why the frick would anybody want to put any effort at all into maintaining society (and building it from the ground up, making new infrastructure and laws, serving justice, maintaining it) if they didn’t have some higher goal to serve? For COMFORT? that may be true now, but what about in the 1700s when life was hard, the industrial revolution was still going around, creature comforts were few, for the majority?

Why would they put any effort into that when they could just as easily pick berries in the woods, might makes right, every man and woman for themselves, hunting animals?

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

This is the funniest thing I have ever read on this site. I am obsessed with the implication that every advancement in society was not because people wanted to make their own lives better but because they thought a higher power wanted it and that without religion we would never have had the agricultural revolution and still be eating berries from bushes.

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[pingintech]

literally a cartoon bad guy

[slipping-into-madness]

[hunter-rodrigez]

Accessibility tip:

If you want to automate your home a bit, but you don't want any "smart" tech, you can just buy remote controlled power sockets instead

They are a lot cheaper and easier to set up and use than some home automation smart tech nonsense

They don't need an app (but some models come with optional apps and there are apps that are compatible with most of these)

Many of them use the 433mhz frequency to communicate, which makes most models compatible with each other, even if they are from different manufacturers

The tech has been around for a long time and will be around for a long time to come

You don't have to put any fucking corporate listening devices like an amazon echo in your home

Models for outdoors exist as well

[bisexualbaker]

[Image: Five electrical outlet enhancers accompanied by two remotes; each of the remotes has ten buttons: Two for each outlet (one on, one off).]

[ofwordsandwaltzes]

Cannot express enough my love for these. My entire apartment is on five circuits, controlled by two duplicate remotes. I can turn off the living room lights from my bed, if I forget, without getting up. And no apps needing so nothing to hack or spy on you.

[dogtoenail]

[storm-of-feathers]

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

[cabinthreeproblems]

*glues this into my diary*

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

[ominous-signs]

Today Boday

[purple-umbrella-girl]

Bokay

[terraswallows]

Smoking absolutely destroys your estrogen.

[opheraphernalia]

Truly baffles me that the viking aesthetic is sold as a form of masculinity. To me, vikings are just inherently, biologically, an uncontrollable horde of butch lesbians, no exceptions. Yes I know this is historically inaccurate. Your mom is historically inaccurate.

[justgarb]

Boring: Bad 80s/ren fair vikings are ahistorical and operatic

Cultured: Bad 80s/ren fair vikings are all about horny helmets and straps.

[medievaljournalist]

ive been informed that the breaking wheel, gibbet, etc are actually 'solar punk', and possibly even Leftist

[depsidase]

[theaceofwords]

It's called the Global Justice Report, it is here. This is an actionable plan which can be sent to legislators and demanded of political parties. We could save the world within our lifetimes.

It has always been possible. It is still possible.