Life got so much easier when I realized trying your best doesnât always mean the best youâre capable of putting out ever but sometimes itâs just the best you have the capacity to do in the moment
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$LAYYYTER
Stranger Things
will byers stan first human second
Claire Keane
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Misplaced Lens Cap

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du

if i look back, i am lost
I'd rather be in outer space đž
cherry valley forever
YOU ARE THE REASON

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Kiana Khansmith

PR's Tumblrdome
Sade Olutola
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@hug-them-trees
Life got so much easier when I realized trying your best doesnât always mean the best youâre capable of putting out ever but sometimes itâs just the best you have the capacity to do in the moment
I AM ANGRY I AM UPSET I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH THIS NEW EPISODE BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN MURDOCK AND NELSON NO NO BUDDY THEY DECIDED ON NELSON AND MURDOCK IN COLLEGE WHEN THEY WERE DRUNK THATS THE DAY THEY BECAME AVOCADOS AND YOURE TRYING TO RETCON THAT SHIT FOR CLOUT ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT
I canât win here can I
Very pleased they managed to get some Stick slander into this episode
Artificial intelligence? No thank you I preferred genuine stupidity
none of yall are ever gonna let me forget about eating mold are you
YOU ATE MOLD?!!!!!
I WAS HUNGRY
YOU ATE MOLD!!!!
YOU WHAT???
THAT'S A BIOHAZARD WHY'D YOU EAT IT
hungry đ€·ââïž
bro you can't be that hungry that you ate a colony
it was pretty small dw. I wouldn't have even noticed if it weren't for the taste
Is it possible to filter just for other's poor eating habits?
I have also eaten mold before. Twice on accident and then I threw out the muffin but the very first time (a third, separate time) at first it was on accident and then I finished the muffin because I already ate the mold whatâs more gonna do
your username is predicting the way you die, is it bad?
yes
no
it's awful
it's funny
idk what this counts as
results
?????
See this is funny because I have gotten into a car crash where I hit a tree. And all my friends have joked calling me a tree hugger because of the irony that I like trees and hit a fucking tree. So this is just like if I died in that crash tbh.
All Eyes on the Sumoud Convoy
Eyes on the road people. Eyes on the thousands of people on their way to the Gaza border to break the siege.
SumoudConvoy-tracker
We need to show support, as much as we did for the madleen, this is a civilian led movement with over 10,000 volunteers, driving to rafah, where they will be joining 35,000 people to march to the Gaza boarder and demand the entry of humanitarian aid. They have no western news covered so we must keep our eyes on the sumoud convoy. Right now the 8 madleen volunteers still being illegally detained have the eyes of the west on them and even with their European passports rima hasan and Thiago avila are being held in inhuman conditions in solidarity confinent and threatened with physical violence. Even with this happening the freedomflottila volunteers still insist we keep demanding a break to the seige on Gaza.
people all over the world are going to meet the sumoud convoy at the border. Thousands from Europe are taking flights to Egypt, all eyes on the sumoud convoy.
"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.
day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing
day 2 at the communal puzzle club: i get gently reprimanded for not sharing the puzzle experience with the others. in my defense I thought they needed all the help they could get
day 3 at the communal puzzle club: we start a new puzzle and i put one of the pieces in my pocket and save it for later so i can be the one who puts in the last piece
day 4 at the communal puzzle club: the puzzle is almost complete so i reach into my pocket and realize i left the last piece in my other pants which are currently in the washing machine. i feign ignorance
day 5 at the communal puzzle club: the others are suspicious but they have no proof. they check my pockets before i leave but little do they know that this time i ate the pieces
day 6 at the communal puzzle club: i put an entire bottle of miralax in my coffee to get the pieces out of my digestive system but they are too far dissolved to be usable. my stomach is in so much pain and i can't stop shitting but i rinse off what's left of the pieces and make it to puzzle club anyway, only to find out they don't meet on mondays. i am inconsolable.
day 7 at the communal puzzle club: i realized those pieces are incriminating evidence so i slipped them in someone else's pocket. i should be good as long as they don't find residual traces of my dna
day 8 at the communal puzzle club: there is an odd feeling in my gut. i feel as if something has been awoken in me
day 9 at the communal puzzle club: i am in such deep focus that the others are starting to fear me. either that or they are cowering away from the communal puzzle out of sheer respect for my skills
day 10 at the communal puzzle club: i'm getting better and better, i can now do several puzzles in one day. the others are discussing what to do about me in hushed tones. little do they know my laser focus allows me to hear everything they say. they aren't a threat.
day 11 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager unlocked the door but already i am inside. ive been here all night doing puzzles in the dark. they threaten to ban me from the club so in response i pick a 500 piece puzzle at random and complete it in under 45 minutes, just to show them who the real authority is
day 12 at the communal puzzle club: i have been officially banned from the communal puzzle club. in a fit of rage i grab as many pieces as i can and eat them, making sure to thoroughly chew and swallow every single one. if i can't do them, no one can.
day 13 at the communal puzzle club: it's monday again. the club doesn't meet today. it's the perfect opportunity to break in and do as many puzzles as my heart desires, without any of the club's petty drama to distract me
day 14 at the communal puzzle club: i am in jail because the club manager snitched to the cops like the pathetic weakling they are. this is the worst night of my entire life there aren't any puzzles here
day 15 at the communal puzzle club: the judge let me off with a restraining order since I didn't actually steal anything. i show back up to communal puzzle club just to make a show of ripping the order to shreds. no piece of paper will dictate my life, only jigsaw-cut cardboard has that power. nothing else.
day 16 at the communal puzzle club: everyone is so quiet today when I walk in. I eat some pieces in a show of force, just to remind everyone who's in charge. I comment that they taste somewhat like strychnine, they say it's just because Ravensburger has a new method of chemically processing their pieces. sounds plausible. 30 minutes later i am convulsing violently but i beg them not to call an ambulance until i finish the puzzle i was working on. but the bastards don't listen and I'm shipped off to the hospital kicking and screaming.
day 17 at the communal puzzle club: i spent the night in the hospital. a detective comes in and says they're investigating the manager of the communal puzzle club for attempted murder and asks what i know. i tell him honestly that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. he says they have more than enough evidence to prosecute regardless.
day 18 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager is on trial for attempted murder and i am called as a witness. i tell the judge that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. i am held in contempt of the court
day 19 at the communal puzzle club: the defense makes a plea of justifiable self defense, citing the restraining order that isn't even 1 week old. somehow the judge buys that flimsy defense. i mean, this is the same judge who didn't even recognize me from that same case despite being the same judge. i think the poor old man has dementia so i make a motion for a mistrial. it gets shot down because the system is corrupt.
day 20 at the communal puzzle club: the judge says i should get jail time but he decided i should be in a mental facility instead. i don't know why he would think that, i have been nothing but sane my entire life. god forbid a woman have hobbies
day 1 in the psych ward: they have puzzles in here this is amazing
day 2 in the psych ward: all the puzzles are missing a few pieces. this is unacceptable. im going to go insane
day 3 in the psych ward: i have been informed that they do not use the word "insane" in here so i take back my previous statement.
day 4 in the psych ward: i need to find those missing pieces i need to find them i need to find them i have been questioning everybody all the nurses all the doctors all the patients all the miscellaneous hospital staff but nobody knows anything. this is hopeless. i will never be able to overcome this trauma. my life is over
day 5 in the psych ward: it's so boring in here. without complete puzzles there's nothing to do except watch tv but the only channel they get is the local news. i begrudgingly watch out of nothing but all-encompassing ennui. but one of the stories is about the communal puzzle club and suddenly i am overcome with nostalgia. turns out there was a series of alleged poisonings attributed to that location. strychnine was found in three people so far, one of whom was myself. but the others didn't survive. this confirms my suspicion that i am in fact the chosen one
day 6 in the psych ward: with a renewed sense of purpose i will attempt to convince the doctors of my "sanity," but i also came to the realization that they don't care about sanity, they only care about sedation. they want to supress my passion, eradicate my truth, condition me to fall in line with the rest of the "sane" people. with that knowledge, i was able to tell them everything they wanted to hear. i acted polite, pretended i was cured, i even feigned complete disinterest in puzzles! it made my stomach boil but i did it, i convinced them, and just like that, i was free.
day 28 at the communal puzzle club: i don't know why everyone was so surprised to see me again, it's only natural that i'd come to finish what i started
(i know this is supposed to be day 27 at the communal puzzle club but day 27 was a monday so nothing happened) like what am i gonna say, "day 27 i sat alone in my studio apartment eating cereal and biding my time"
day 29 at the communal puzzle club: the communal puzzle club has been disbanded, the club manager has been arrested, and the whole place is swarming with cops. i watched as they hauled off a bunch of expensive looking printers and like a billion reams of paper and loaded them onto a big police truck.
apparently, the communal puzzle club was just a front for document forgery and counterfeit cash, and i had been inadvertently sabotaging them this entire time. which is sad because i support both of those things. but it also explains why they met 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and why they had their own building despite having no profit model and also why i was the only one who seemed to actually care about the puzzles. everyone else was too busy making fake passports to care.
in hindsight, i always knew they were all a bunch of casuals. but i didn't mind because they had so many excellent puzzles. I asked one of the officers if i could at least have the puzzles but he said they were already taken and locked away in the evidence room. the thought sickens me- all those puzzles, gathering dust, never to be assembled again. or maybe the pigs just took them for themselves! so they could have all the puzzles they want while the rest of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens have nothing to do except die of boredom!
the moral of the story is that we can never have nice things because of the fucking pigs. fuck the police.
Hey students, hereâs a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while youâre seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with âdear hello, I am sick and not sure if Iâll be alive to come tomorrow and Iâm sorry, best slutantions, [name]â.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, Iâd probably believe they were sick.
âSlutantionsâ has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
âI amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blueâ
the subject line was âOWâ
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN âOWâ
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class Iâd passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line âyou good?â
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so thereâs about a month and a half block of time where Iâm taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldnât come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like âNot sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.â I didnât think until the next day that it probably wasnât socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you werenât coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that sheâd printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
Itâs even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email âDead cant class soryâ
i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:
she said it was the most beautiful sick email sheâs ever gotten
When I crashed my car and broke my ankle last year I needed to ask work about our short term disability accommodations so I sent an email to our director of operations with the subject line âInjured. I am mostly okâ
I did wait until after anesthesia wore off after my surgery so there werenât any spelling mistakes but yknow. Was very gen z about it
Every single week I cycle through a different coffee shop in my town and ask the barista to make me their favorite drink in a medium. I have an entire spiel:
âAll milk is fine, caffeinated and not caffinated iâm game, hot and iced both work, it can be coffee or tea or anything.â
It has yet to fail me. Every time I have tried a new drink I never would have thought to try and every one Iâve had has been amazing. The true delight Iâve seen in baristas faces pondering on what to make me and the joy they have when I like the drink always makes my day and I hope it makes theirs too. Itâs the little things of kindness that can make someoneâs day and I feel that it helps the world be kinder. Highly recommend doing this yourselves.
Just went to a place I go to more often near work and I got a âoh! Itâs you!! :Dâ from one of the baristas when I gave my order. Made my day :)
Update: me and the most common coffee shop I go toâs baristas and I are now friends :)
PEOPLE ARE SAYING IM AN AU OR PROMPT IM NOT A PROMPT IM A REAL BOY I PROMISE
Additional update: I wrote a good review/feedback for the coffee shop and corporate really liked my review, so now everyone in the coffee shop knows my name, knows I gave the review because my order is unique, and I was given a free breakfast sandwich in appreciation.
^tags:
#oh and they start making a mystery drink for me every time I walk in the door now and the baristas will argue on who gets to make the drink
#when the manager I've never seen before went 'are you (full first and last name)' and thanked me for the review I was so happy #THEY PINNED IT ON A BOARD BEHIND THEM SO I SEE IT EVERY TIME I ORDER COFFEE NOW #AAAAAAA
#they're all so sweet I'm debating on giving some of my fav baristas my number so I can ask for their dietary restrictions to make them soup
Seeing people reblog this post with tags along the lines of âhumanity is goodâ makes me so happy man. My singular goal in life is if I manage to have a conversation with a person and they walk away at least a bit happier than before, Iâve succeeded in my lifeâs mission. My impact on the world might not be huge but to those around me and the few that I interact with, spreading that little bit of joy can mean do much to others and watching that joy impact others is truly amazing.
reblog this and tag with a food you no longer have access to (closed restaurant, state you moved away from, exâs momâs cooking, etc) that will haunt you until your dying day, mine are the spicy chicken sandwich on the employee menu at the fine dining restaurant I was a prep cook at, and the onion bagel from the kosher place down the street from my house when I lived in the city
Sheâs a comedian đ
Your honor you donât understand I love her
HI DOES ANYONE KNOW WTF VANESSA MEANT BY AGENT NADEEM BEING THE REASON FISK WAS ACQUITTED. DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOW. DO I NOT KNOW WHAT ACQUITTED MEANS. HELP.
never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It
signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy
#The number of compliments i have gotten for reading a thing
The ability to occasionally Read A Thing will make you a hero in your workplace, especially if it is for example an error message that tells you what you need to do differently, or instructions on unjamming a printer.
how dare you say we put jam in the printer
Hereâs another example like bruv they clearly stated theyâd be taking the jam OUT of the printer
Why are you lgbtq+? wrong answers only GO
Read frog and toad as a child