I can almost all the bones I want to see. Hip bones stick out, ribs stick out, spine sticks out, everything sticks out.
My clothes fit like perfection, if not a little baggy
I’m not afraid to try stuff on in dressing rooms
Everything looks cute. Baggy sweaters and tights? Hellz yeah
People are either impressed or slightly concerned (which is motivating)
Being considered almost thinspo
Feeling strong and like I might actually have some willpower
Feeling that high when I see a lower number on the scale
The dizziness. I stand up and see all the stars and I like that feeling.
Not feeling as hungry. It’s weird, my appetite definitely changed
The Bad:
I feel so tired. Stuff is way harder to do
The shakes. They can be hard to hide
Days can be longer. I feel like I have to fill them up or it just drags on and on and on
I have horses, which thank god I board them at a facility or I wouldn’t have the energy to clean their stalls. But I can’t ride them like I used to, I get too out of breath.
I have a heart condition that is because of my ED, this is getting worse and I know this but I cant stop.
Somedays I feel all-powerful, some days I feel pathetic.
Is this really my life now? And yeah, it totally is.
Knowing I am basically purposely throwing away any potential I may have ever had.
Even when I feel those “highs” of seeing a low weight, they are short-lived. On to the next goal is all there ever is.
Never feeling like it’s “enough”
Passing out. I like the dizziness until I go down.
Scale, 50859409 times a day
Freaking out if I gain so much as .1 lb, even though I know it’s irrational.
Missing out on stuff because I’m too tired or want to avoid food.
Why tf do I still hate myself?
Idk, take this for what you want I guess.
2087
theartofmadeline
gamechangershow
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
stormborns
titsay
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
