ssshhh @hushmowgli - Tumblr Blog

ultrafacts

Source: [x]

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!

theawesomeadventurer

okay but this is a power move above any other

eelpatrickharris-deactivated202

It gets even better, because he was doing all of this on a pitch black night. This dude swam towards a lure, slapped at it with his glove, and when it got caught; he let himself float and tugged on the line so the fisherman thought he had hooked a 100+ pound salmon. Once he was finally up to the shore, he turned a flashlight on in the guy’s face and walked out of the water, saying “good morning, gentlemen. State fish and game warden, you’re under arrest.“

At this point, the guy who had reeled him in had literally fallen over in shock, and the other people with him were scared shitless. The warden whipped some citations out of a plastic bag in his wetsuit, made the trespassers sign them, asked if they had any questions, and then gathered all of their fishing gear. And he just. Walked back into the river. And quietly swam away, without another word.

This man is a legend.

do-you-have-a-flag

warden coming out of his river to shame fishermankind

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

Losing my mind over this

homunculus-argument

Thought-to-speech technology that gets hacked by people who want text messages from their pets while they are at work, only to immediately regret it because their pets text them the dumbest things, and the only way to get any kind of a clear image of what's going on is texting the other pets for cross-reference.

Like you get a text from your dog going "END IS HERE DOOM IS COMING URGENT URGENT SEND TEXT G-D HAVE MERCY, HUMAN COME HOME IMMEDIATELY", (you have no idea why the text translator has decided that your dog is jewish, but that doesn't feel important enough to look into or change) and before you do, you text the cat like "what's going on?"

And the cat replies "sunshine is turned off, window is cold >:C" so okay that's a clue. You've got a monitor lizard that doesn't do much monitoring, but will reply with whatever the lizard is feeling right now if you text "?" first.

"hwrmbglhlr the earth rumbles are sexy", replies the lizard. Okay, so dog panic, no sunshine, and the lizard is sensing vibrations. Oh, there's a rain storm overhead. Fuck's sake.

hushmowgli

This is my favorite dystopia

alexaloraetheris

In the spirit of Halloween, due to my own experiences as of an hour ago, I have come up with a new horror video game.

Because of the low atmospheric pressure, two things have happened: my blood pressure levels are somewhere in the vicinity of my ass, and there is. Fog. Fucking. Everywhere. The kind of weather only Jack the Ripper could enjoy.

No sane person would go outside. Except the people who still have to walk their dogs.

(This was when the fog was actually still traversable and I theoretically still knew where I was. The moment you hit a less lit area, you're toast)

So the game would be first person POV, and you get lost in your own fucking neighborhood. Your only guide is your scaredy-cat of an idiot dog, and you know you can't let go of the leash for even a second because you're not going to see the damn dog ever again. Which is also bad because the dog is the only creature around who knows how to get home.

So you're feeling sleepy and headachy and yet somehow have the anxiety levels of someone being hunted for sport, your dog who is the only one who knows how to get home keeps jumping at shadows. You wonder if that's because he can hear things you can't in the dark.

Suddenly you see the fucking grim reaper approaching on a fucking skateboard. You nearly piss yourself, only for the geim reaper to pass you by, whirling fog around him, then reveal it's actually a kid on a bike with his friend standing on the seat behind him. You're vaguely happy you didn't actually scream.

But the next monster you see? Might not be kids.

So you better hold that leash tight and hope the dog can get you home before you're both eaten.

Happy Halloween. If you need me, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I get out of the damn fog.

o-kurwa

bigpoppypuppy-deactivated202412

they put him in the cup and no eyes as well… really hope things improve for this dope soul

hushmowgli

WHO IS THIS RED HOT BEANIE WEENIE HOTDOG FINGER HAVING MOTHERFUCKER HOLDING THE CUP? THATS NOT A HAND THATS FIVE GIANT DOGGY ERECTIONS IM DISGUSTED DID HE PULL THIS OUT OF A RADIOACTIVE BEEHIVE?? WHO MANS IS THIS? DOES HIS HAND HAVE A VIBRATE BUTTON AND COME WITH FREE LUBE???

hushmowgli

I have re-evaluated and glove.

bigpoppypuppy-deactivated202412

they put him in the cup and no eyes as well… really hope things improve for this dope soul

hushmowgli

WHO IS THIS RED HOT BEANIE WEENIE HOTDOG FINGER HAVING MOTHERFUCKER HOLDING THE CUP? THATS NOT A HAND THATS FIVE GIANT DOGGY ERECTIONS IM DISGUSTED DID HE PULL THIS OUT OF A RADIOACTIVE BEEHIVE?? WHO MANS IS THIS? DOES HIS HAND HAVE A VIBRATE BUTTON AND COME WITH FREE LUBE???

bisexualwario

you wanna see one of my favorite bots of new york posts ever?

literally everything about this is perfect. i can't believe this is a bot post.

brightlotusmoon

In one of my ADHD groups, a question about motivation and inability to start came up. This is one of the comments:

"Mel Robbins (who is also ADHD) talks about 54321-go. She wrote a whole book on it, but its mainly as soon as you think of something or have / want to do something, you count down from 5 to 1 then MOVE YOUR BODY TOWARDS WHAT EVER IT IS YOU NEED TO DO before your brain can talk you out of it. There loads of neuroscience why this works and before I was diagnosed I used this technique all the time. From getting out of bed, to getting a shower, to reading, stopping scrolling, stopping watching tv to literally everything if I needed to. I still do. It really helps me. And like you say, once you get started its okay, and then the dopamine kicks in. She did a talk on it, I think if you google it will come up. Also, tyrosine and theanine is good for me too. Hope this helps."

-

I looked it up and I'm going to try it.

https://kaizenlife.org/2018/01/20/the-5-second-rule-54321-go/

morrithal

Tried this before I even finished reading it and now I am out of bed

brightlotusmoon

Good news, it worked on me too.

Now I have something to measure against executive dysfunction, chronic fatigue, dyspraxia, hypertonia, etc. If I do the countdown, twice, and I still can't move, I can focus on the physiological disabilities to see what else is impairing me.

floralflowerpower-deactivated20

Source

I'll give it a try. 😅💖

hushmowgli

As soon as I read “...use it to stop scrolling” I used it to stop scrolling immediately. Still haven’t read any more of this post, just came back to reblog and say this.

5...4....