feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!
“I didn’t hit her. I’d like to very much, and I probably will later, but give me a break!”
“Pick on someone your own size!”
“I happen to have a serious problem!”
“I look exactly the same as I have since summer… Utterly forgettable.”
“You need four inches of bod, and a great birthday.”
“Now don’t give me that pouty look of yours.”
“They fucking forgot my birthday.”
“Everything’s just getting shittier.”
“Maybe I’m interested in more than a party.”
“Come on, _____, you talk like you’re hard up.”
“There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation.”
“Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself? It’s bad for your complexion!”
“You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile.”
“You know, a girl with a hat is just so… Vogue.”
“My goodness are you a sight for sore eyes!”
“I swear to God, this has got to be a joke.”
“What’s happening hot stuff?”
“This is the single worst day of my entire life.”
“What the hell are you bitching about?”
“You’re really acting like… An asshole.”
“Well, if you don’t have anything, you don’t have anything to lose, right?”
“C’mon, you know you’re the one I wanna bug.”
“It is physically impossible for me to get happy.”
“This information cannot this room, okay? It would devastate my reputation as a guy.”
“Look, I’d appreciate you not laughing, okay?”
“He doesn’t even know I exist.”
“If you’re lying, I’ll beat the crap out of you!”
“I can name twenty guys who would kill to love me.”
“This may sound incredibly dumb, but I love you and I’ll do anything to make you love me.”
“I can’t believe I’m such a jerk.”
“Listen, I know you’re there, I can hear you breathing.”
“He’s beautiful and perfect and I like him a real lot and he doesn’t like me, okay?”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I love you.”
“That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.”
“You know, when you’re given things kind of easily, you don’t always appreciate them.”
“When you do find the right guy, don’t let him boss you around.”
“Make sure he knows you wear the pants in the family.”
“She thinks you’re the cat’s meow.”
“They don’t have the balls to admit it, you know what I mean?”
“Such assholes, I can’t believe it.”
“Bitch, bitch, bitch —— bitch is a female dog.”
“I told you dudes I was hot.”
“That, my friend(s), is what the pictures are for.”
“Deep down, he’s really sorry.”
“Nothing could shock me anymore.”
“Oh, watch your language, Mr. Dirty Mouth!”
“Why you little scuzzbag!”
“She’s uh, she’s a little out of it.”
“What’re you doing here?”
theartofmadeline
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
yousharknotpass
areudirty
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
stormborns
ellievsbear
