The Hyper Is Silent @hypercalcium - Tumblr Blog

This cute platypus

(via)

I fully understand why westerners thought the platypus was a hoax at first. I’m looking at a real live one moving around and it STILL looks fake.

bogleech

The one thing that could have made them sound any more made up would have been if you said the boys have secret viper fangs that can absolutely fuck you up with venom, and they do, on their goddamn feet.

special-lucky-chosen-one

cursed platypus facts: * five (5) X chromosomes * only the left ovary works * produces milk but has no nipples. the mother just kind of sweats milk out their chest. nature is beautiful * was nearly called the “duckmole” * swims with its weird fish eyes and ears closed, hunting entirely by electroreception * born with teeth, but then they fall out

random-chaos-thoughts

If a writer wrote this for an alien specie people would say they are pushing it too far but honestly nature is weirder than anyone can imagine

lolita-wardrobe

vague-humanoid

@sandayuoda

mezzodical

one round/action in D&D is 6 seconds so anything you could accomplish during a vine you could do during your turn

theorynoodle

Rogue: “I’m back at it again at Krispy Kreme.”

DM: “Roll an acrobatics check.”

lovelylovelyartist

Fighter: I want to see my little boy

DM: roll a perception check

*nat 20*

DM: here he comes

z-nogyrop

bard: toss me my keys

*rolls a 1*

DM: i thought you said printer

spiritednug

Fairy: I still haven’t found my berries

DM: roll a perception check

*rolls a 9*

Fairy: BUT! *holds up an orange* I found this.

bemusedlybespectacled

Druid: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand.

DM: Roll an intimidation check.

*nat 20*

DM: Poseidon quivers before him!

Druid: Fuck off!

redwoodriver-deactivated2018042

Dm: can you read this for us?

Fighter: rolls a nat 1

Fighter: what up im Jared im 19 and I never fuckin learned how to read

sparrow-va

Fighter: It’s summer, I got my helm on backwards and it’s time to fuckin’ party.

DM: Roll for Dodge.

Fighter: *rolls a 1*

Fighter: *slams head into ye olde portcullis*

kinaco-cat

こども用ソファで猫じゃらししてたら、とんでもない瞬間が撮れてしまった。ポーズもすごいがアニメみたいな顔になってる…。

bunjywunjy

god every time I think I’ve seen all the cat material the internet has to show something new and absolutely delighting appears

3840293843293-deactivated202211

we could shorten “big mood” to “bmood” but you all are not ready

batbitequeen-deactivated2018021

bood

3840293843293-deactivated202211

oh fuck. it was i who was not ready

christopher575

unluckysword-deactivated2019031

sindri42

So hey you know how the whole Bode meme came from somebody’s dream in which they saw a tumblr meme from the future with no context? And how they assumed it was short for ‘foreboding’ or something, but that doesn’t even make sense because there’s no bode in foreboding? This is the actual origin of that prophetic vision.

pigcatapult

The version I saw claimed it was sort for “bodacious”

bigbigbigtruck

i’m so glad bode is back

chandelyer-deactivated20241003

Hassidris “Ashes” spring 2019 collection

#look at this dress just look at it

sabertoothwalrus

outfit idea

let me know if you have any suggestions

pizzapastaapplejuice

sabertoothwalrus

of course thank you

#party world rasslin #rodeo rave

miiriya

insiggious

People have this weird belief that if you're critical of a system or tradition, then it must be because you failed to live up to that system or tradition. The idea of having a principled stance, regardless of whether or not *you* personally benefit from society accepting that stance, is foreign to so many people. And this belief is really fucking important for and beneficial to the elites of this country. If you can get the masses to equate criticizing you and the institutions you control with abject personal failure, congratulations, you've just made yourself immune to accountability