I am suffering about men. For various interlocking reasons

Name TBD at a later date. He/Him (20 nearly 21) and my suffering is intense. i will be talking about my various fictional crushes and hyperfixes here. I'm a slut and a yearner so I'll be talking about men. The good and the bad.

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HOW THIS WORKS!

Hiii i don't have a name decided to be used on this account, You can call me pet names though till i figure it out! Names on the hypothetical list is Denny, Jack, if you've got any others in mind feel free to dm me, comment, or send me an ask :)! +Things i enjoy, or am open to: mild puppy play (Im getting into it, but im new to it), calling someone daddy, being referred to as daddy, forcemasc obvi, forcefemming straight guys, forcefemming trans girls, dumbification, being submissive, being dominant +Some things that are hot but need to be more tactfully chatted about are: Breeding kink, CNC, Stalking, sexually aggressive behavior, Hypno, intoxx, +Absolutely not: scatt/piss, detransition, needles, Medical stuff is iffy? ask before hand would probably be best, rape threats, Boundaries:~ do not send me unsolicited pics. always ask. if you send me pics without asking you will be blocked and sent to hell. ~ Im new to the interweb bdsm community, so, be gentle with your opens. I may play confident but i am still, just a guy with sexual trauma ~This is not done to please anyone but myself, Do i enjoy preforming for an audience? Yes. do i love the attention? More then yes! BUT i do not owe anyone anything in regards to my own sexual experience ~Sexy anons are really nice, tagging yourself with an emoji or a fake name makes it so i can recognize the regulars. Also, it's fun ~The idea of being stalked online, as in a fantasy of a stalker fan is a very fun one for me. But i do not consent or find sexy being actually stalked or doxxed. ~i refer to my followers as fans because that's how i see it. I'm im making something here, and if you like it, you're a fan. Its not direct contact, sort of parasocial on purpose. Because i don't know you, and you don't know me, but that's sort of fun isn't it? ~if you want to boss me around and have me actually listen, you've gotta lay some groundwork. I have problems with authority so a hard open wouldn't work on me. ~If you have any questions feel free to send me an ask or comment! Things will be edited when i see fit, so things may change, things will probably added to the open to section as this goes along.

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faggot phone sex on with flip phones ............

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how to come out to my boyfriend as a dog? how to tell my boyfriend i like wearing collars for non sexual but also sexual reasons? howwww do i tell my boyfriend i want him to buy me a leash and drag me around how do i

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autistic dennis smut part two yay this got suggested so i'm writing more. Trans and autistic dennis whitaker I think that they have several, like many long talks about their sex life after dennis goes completely not verbal during their last fuck. Eventually settling on a non verbal sign to slow (two squeezes on the wrist or back of the neck), and as much as dennis protested, pulling on the ear for a complete stop. Dennis thinks it seems unsexy, which, robby points out is the point. And an ear grab is clear, it can't be misconstrued as anything else But when they do start back up? after a week of robby too scared to put his hands on dennis? It's slow and romantic. The younger of the two is used to hook ups, of fucking a guy and waiting just long enough that his knees don't give out to clean himself up and leaving. So slow sex? Feels fucking awkward. They do a little cockwarming turned languid sex while watching a movie on the couch. Robby behind him, large hand stabilizing Dennis's propped up thigh. it's slow and romantic but dennis doesn't know what to *do* with himself. Robby is whispering sweet romantic things into his neck into those *curls*. but after 30 minutes of gentle, ohh so gentle rocking into Dennis, he squeezes robby's wrist. once, then after a few seconds another time. The older man groans as he lifts himself up on his elbow to look at dennis "You okay? Is there something wrong?" his arm that's not trapped underneath Dennis's body circles around him. "No, no this is really nice!" Dennis tries to reassure, his hands land on Robby's pectorals, on top of his shirt, this up to his shoulders. strong boney hands trying to rub reassurance into him the way robby always does for him. "I just..." He grimaces a little "What? Baby you know i'd prefer honesty" Robby looks at him with that, look. If he were wearing his glasses he'd be peering over the rims at the man beneath him. Dennis sighs trying to relax his shoulders, and settle his breathing. "I don't know what to *do* with myself." His nervous wandering hands move to robby's upper arm rubbing into the muscle and the fat. "Baby what do you mean you don't know-" "I know im supposed to just, lay here i guess but, what am i supposed to do with my hands? With my mouth? Am i supposed to be quiet? What are the rules?" Robby chuckles and grabs denny's chin, tilting his head down so the younger man is looking up at him through his eyelashes. "Sweet sweet boy. You don't have to do anything. there aren't any rules. Do you need something to do?" Dennis stares up at him, waiting to see if this is really okay before nodding. Robby looks around, squinting in the dark living room of his place before he adjusts, pulling his arm out from beneath denni's weight "Do you think you can hold you leg up for me?" Dennis, again nods. it takes him less time this time, which makes robby smile. The older man settled back down behind him, wincing as his cock that had slipped out brushes against the diamond shape indent between the younger man's ass and thighs. He slides his arm so Dennis can rest his head on his bicep, hand pressed into the younger man's chest for the pressure. the other arm lightly wraps around him, hand tilted toward's dennis "Your job, is going to be i want you to count, and trace each and every line on my hand, the knuckles, the palm, back of the hand where the muscles pull taught and connect into the wrist. Do you think you can focus on doing that? Do you think that would help." Dennis wriggles a little bit, his feet happily curling and uncurling. One of those small happy stims. Once after a long long night explaining it as how cat's knead when happy. but with his feet so he can be less obvious about his stims. but he giggles softly and pulls robby in for a soft kiss and doesnt that just melt him? This is when robby feels the most relaxed in the whole world, when he manages to get his high strung little guy to actually relax. Sure, it's work. Robby has enough things on his plate, but making dennis feel like this? Happy and warm and so utterl

y appreciative? it's a reward within it's self. So, after a minute of soft chuckles as they adjust themselves awkwardly, the small rocking of Robby's cock continues, like ocean waves hitting the shore as whatever tv show that begun airing before Dennis was even born. Dennis's fingers have to squint as robby's hand is backlit from the tv, but his fingers find their way to each indent sliding over the skin. Robby sighs heavily with each touch nodding against his neck, nuzzling into him. And dennis just focuses on the hand, doing what he was told as he's lovingly stretched by Robby. It's nice. It's so nice, and it all makes dennis feel so safe.

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Subdrop!Dennis going to work the next way with even bigger sadder eyes thinking no one in the whole world loves him because either he A. was getting fucked by robby who promptly fell asleep after doing some basic after care (cleaning up and making sure Dennis isnt like bleeding) and B. after a hookup and having to walk himself home. So now he's walking around work with the biggest saddest eyes, and the mostest hurt feeling

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Trans!Dennis backstory part 3

hiiiiii wrote this at 2am so its not good lol <3 read the tags for trigger warnings!!! Also this is written from the perspective of a trans man, so he was a girl, but he isn't now and is referred to with he/him pronouns even when he would have been using she/her at the time.

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To go out together, dancing, drinking, dates, they'd play dress up. His girlfriend had convinced Denni he'd look cute with a julie andrews in the sound of music style hair cut. short and curly. So he styles his short hair and wears pants, and three sports bras, and cologne to go out with his girlfriend. Dressing as a boy to go be with his girlfriend. And it felts so nice. His girlfriend was nice, and surprisingly? he didn't mind being the butch. he felt good. he felt handsome in a way he had never felt quite right being so femme. Sure, he was a pretty girl, he was a very pretty girl. But it never felt quite like himself. He loved being his girlfriend's butch. One night while out, he went into the men's bathroom, last time he went into the women's a girl yelled at him. So despite being a woman, he does into the men's. He does his business and is washing his hands when a man around 46 to match his 23, comes over, elbow brushing Dennis's as they both wash their hands. Dennis is filled with his aching heat, but his skin feels cold. he looks at the other man briefly in the mirror who smiles and gives him a nod. "You sure you're old enough to be in a bar?" The handsome man asks and Dennis squeaks out some sort of answer before nodding. The other man pats him on the back before leaving the heavily vandalized bathroom. Dennis feels like he's been branded. He wants to get on his knees and touch the area that had bubbled up from the hyperbolic burn. He still feels warm and cold and achy when he goes back to his girlfriend

It takes him half a year to acknowledge how that night changed him. He confesses it to his girlfriend, who, is a little heart broken but had started to see the signs. They have a amicable break up before she helps him find some resources. Since he had been taking part in therapy anyway. for credit since his therapist was a still getting her needed hours to become an official licensed professional, it thankfully didn't take too much more work to get him set up with a doctor. He'd been on T about a month before the changes started. before he started to feel his voice begin to deepen ever so slightly in a way only he noticed, and, his mom who still called regularly but hadn't seen since he left for college. He had mentioned his girlfriend last christmas and she had made some comment about not having enough seats at the table, subtly uninviting him from family christmas. But he had started to experiment, with liking men, it was hard, everything he had ever felt had been wrong, had been bad. But, he needed it. Desperately needed it now. Making out with guys in clubs had been enough usually. Just so he didn't have to go all the way. Even the idea of going all the way with a man made him feel sick. After another lonely few years, of college, things are getting better, he still hasn't actually gone home, but his family has caught on that something had changed. of course he calls less and by god, he sounds less like their daughter every day and more like some young man, of all things. He goes home to pack his bags and get his mail, finally finishing up the last few things so he can work at a college in Nebraska. It's not a hospital in broken bow, but he's still be close enough to visit. But, his dad wont come in from the barn. His mama touches his stubbly face, her brows furrowed. her soft blue eyes bore into his own, she'd grown older since he had seen her last "Your... your father, he's..... he doesn't like this-" She motions generally, just to her son who finally has grown into being a happy person, even if that person is a man. "This thing you've done to yourself. You'll.... you'll always be my baby, ladybug. But... i think you have to go." That's it? That's all he gets? For loving and sacrificing his happiness and entire childhood being the housewife, the mom to his older brothers this what he gets? He's heart broken he's furious "Maybe you could go stay with Dale. He's gotten so lonely since you've been gone." Dennis feels the last threads keeping him self feeling sane, feeling like even echo of the person he once was. This woman's baby girl, who ever that girl was, broke into a million pieces. He grabs his bags, he doesn't take his dresses or any of his childhood toys, or even any of the archie comics Dale had still sent to the house for Christmas piled up in the corner. He grabs the cash under his mattress and just drives. He drives all the way back to his college, packing up any of what's left of his life only sleeping enough so he doesn't feel like shit the next day before he's back on the road. At a rest stop he's trying to make a plan for himself. A plan for his life when he finds in his mail, an acceptance letter he had never opened. Why would he? He thought he was staying in Nebraska. But his pulls it open, trying not to rip the embossing on the flap keeping it closed. Pittsburgh. A whole new town. A whole new city. It was perfect.

part 3/3 done yayyyyyyy part 1 part 2

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Trans!Dennis backstory part 2

hiii read the trigger warnings thanksss

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On the normal drive back from the movie theater, Dale made some joke, one hand on the steering wheel, the other motioning about, that Dennis can't even remember anymore and he laughed, it had been funny before Dale's hand landed on Denni's thigh. of course, accidents happen but the hand didn't move. and Dale kept talking his voice turning into loud static. as the young girl's eyes stay on the hand, the warmth on his thigh feels a rash, rapidly spreading. he nods to what ever question the older man had asked, unable to hear it as the thumb rubs slowly back and forth, back and forth in time with the windshield wipers. Dennis feels sick. he feels sick and he feels like he needs to get out of here. When they get to the farm he hops out at the start of the driveway, instead of taking the ride all the way up to the house. He waves off Dale with a plastered on smile, his hand gripping the mailbox to keep himself steady as the truck hums into the distance. He keels over and throws up, the sickly bile splashing on his shoes. The ones Dale had picked out with him for his new school year. More and more of the liquid-y chunks comes out from inside him until there's nothing left inside his body and with all that warm food now on the ground he feels like he's freezing. He wraps his arms around himself as he unlocks the gate, before burying his hands into cardigan and hurrying up the back way to the house, not wanting to enter through the front and have to face his mother, his sweet mother when he's disgusting like this. Filthy and Unclean. Of course Dale hadn’t done anything wrong. there's no way Dale would do that. dale's gay. Dale is supposed to be gay. So Dennis must be wrong he took this in a sinful way and it was his fault. He couldn’t help but think it, how could his world upend so easily? If Dale was all the things keeping him together how could he not feel like he were suddenly drowning? He bathes and scrubs himself clean before going directly to bed. No dinner for sinners, his dad sometimes joked when Dennis's brothers had been caught kissing girls or with sinful books. So he tries to sleep it off. Everytime after seeing Dale felt disgusting. Dennis is disgusting for thinking about Dale this way. Terrible. Horrible. So after graduating high school. graduating and surviving the looks and the warm hands, and the massages, and the archie comics that he burned in the woods in his brother's make shift fire pit, He decided to just, study. he bought himself books to study theology, turning farther to God for his plights, and it had helped. It had helped focusing on the lord. He couldn't look Dale in the eye anymore, every time Dale was even in the house he felt sick. But God could save him from this, from all of these feelings inside him. So he goes to college. He goes to college to study theology two towns over and he finally starts to feel okay again. But midway through his second semester he gets a girlfriend. And, changes his major. He decided that he wanted to help people in a more tangible way then the church really can provide. It's really nice, kissing girls. It's so safe, her long nails scratch up his back and that warmth he's been aching for feels so nice after so long. He ends up sobbing into his girlfriend's arms. Unable to explain what was happening with him.

part 2/3

part 1

part 3

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2am drabble that turned into wayyy longer concept then imagined originally read the tags for trigger warnings!!! Also this is written from the perspective of a trans man, so he was a girl, but he isn't now and is referred to with he/him pronouns even when he would have been using she/her at the time. Dennis was, once, a good little girl. The church was so so so desperately important to him. it was his solace when the one of the worst things that ever happened to him, happened. When he was little he didn't really understand the other girls fascination with boys. sure they were cool, and he'd rough house with them as much as the other boys would let him. He was strong enough to hold his own against the boys even in his corduroy pinafore and braids. He didn't get it. So of course when he had first heard of the idea that women could like women that's what he thought he was. A girl who likes girl. The people he loved most in the world, the people he'd fight tooth and nail for were all women. On the playground even kissing a girl. So after years he knew in his heart that he liked women. Sure sometimes he'd stare at the guys in church, it was only normal. eyes trained on the way the button ups would press against the bobbing throats as they took communion. He didn't know why he stared. but he did. His best friends growing up was one of the older guys who helped out around the farm. there wasn't many, since Dennis's brothers could help with the farm work. But Dale, sweet Dale, his dad's friend would come over and bake bread with his mama, and buy everyone Christmas presents, and always was just one call away. Dale didn't have a family of his own, Dennis's mama explained, after being in the army he just didn't get around to it, that's why he likes bein' around you all. Takin' care of the kids he didn't get to have. That made sense to Dennis, and to be fair, he was Dale's favorite. The boys were older, so they got to go adventuring while poor little Dennis would have to stay stuck on the porch darning socks and twiddling his soft, tiny fingers. Dale would bring him Archie comics, and candies and all sorts of treats, just to make up for how he didn't get to have as much fun as his brothers. Little baby Dennis told Dale everything, even that he thought he might be a lesbian. Dale took it perfectly kind smiles and a warm kind hand on his small back. "Oh? Well, don't you worry. There were a lot'o queers in the army. Very fond of em. I won't tell anyone. I think.... I think i am too. Other direction though. Men." Dale was the best. As he got older, and his body started to change and suddenly out of no where everything got wrong. his body felt wrong, and his wandering eyes felt wrong, and worst of all his chest, that had been perfectly flat started to grow and god, it was terrible. Suddenly people were looking at him. looking at him the way people watch for deer on the annual autumn hunt. But Dale treated him normally, would take him into town to go see movies together, but him treats and help him through all the tears, all the sobs. All the late night calls and the warm comforting hands. Warm hands that would massage his achy growing body. It was so nice to have all this attention when no one else really cared to focus on him in any real way. It felt so nice. Something was happening to Dennis, it felt so wrong, this man was practically his uncle and yet, he had a small crush on Dale. Dennis thought he liked girls and yet, he couldn't help but stare when the older man cracked open a beer, or would hold his hand in tough moments, or even hold him close in the bed of Dale's truck, looking at the stars after a long long night of overhearing his parents fight

Part 1/3 part 2 part 3

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two long as fuck drabbles that tumblr is being an ass and simply will not let me post because it wont "autosave" and then i wont let me post it. thankfully!!! i have it copy and pasted into a google doc so i didnt lose anything but get hyped!! It's Trans autistic Dennis romantic hucklerobby smut and Trans Dennis angst yayyyyyyyyyy

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thanks god for mass post editor i just was able to delete all of my situationships fuck ass reblogs off of my rp account i thought i was going to just have to like go through manually

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yah know what? Fuck it. need me an older man who calls ME daddy. I'm the daddy here mf. I don't care if you've been a man for longer then I've been alive. You're my bitch now. give me 40$.

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ive decided to go through my old posts and tags things as the pitt as i see fit

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"Oh im not that horny im fine." i say as i rut against my bed wishing it were a older man's lap

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human pregnancy is so wild to me. like, you can just create another consciousness. and you can do it accidentally in the Cheesecake Factory parking lot

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I'm gonna accidentally get a dilf pregnant in the cheescake factory parking lot

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Autistic Dennis Whitaker buys himself a tv and it's a crt tv and it's not his special interest but it brings him a lot a lot a lot of joy. He couldn't afford to lug around a tv but now that he lives with trinity he gets to have his own space enough to engage in his interests. They even got a entertainment center off of facebook market place for 20$ and spent an entire day fitting it into her tiny car, then hauling it into their apartment. They have a movie night together and both fall asleep 40 minutes into watching twilight. Now after a long shift where he feels like he can't take it anymore. he just can't handle another day of not being able to eat on time at work, and his knees hurting for no other reason then god hates him, and how the scrub machine keeps spitting out scrubs too small for him. After a shitty day, he goes on Thrift books scrolling through the nearly endless movies, picking out a few and buying them. He always feels better when he knows he's got something coming in the mail. Something tangible to look forward to. To add to his small but growing collection.

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Autistic Dennis Whitaker who chews on his finger not hard just little nibbles always making sure to wash his hands and sanitize before continuing with his work. Back at home though, he eats jerky and dried mango and all sorts of hard to chew foods. Trinity jokes that he's "teething" He does, with all the same in his heart eventually buy himself sort of toy to chew on because he's had one too many flakes of wood from pencils in his mouth.

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good lord. dilfs <3

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For dean winchester's birthday i think he should get tag teamed by hucklerabbot. He's got a doctor kink and he's solidly between their ages and i think he should get fucked nasty <3