Kick Me In The Shins And Call Me Satan @hyphenslash - Tumblr Blog

Feels like a bad idea maybe

my really funny and original concept

i’ve mixed cranberry mikes harder and cucumber lime gatorade into a drink i like to call “the flavor” because like. you drink this shit and your tongue is like “there’s a taste here. you are experiencing a flavor” but when you go to open the door there’s no flavor there. it comes back with an undefined error in the flavor column. it’s the missingno of flavors. it so absolutely and definitely tastes like something and that thing is nothing.

xgutter-glitterx

im going to make this brb

xgutter-glitterx

okay so i found a gas station that had the stuff so i made it

diagnosis: it tastes?

mini-wrants

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

sreegs

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

sreegs

"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"

❌ False

The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.

sreegs

"those are his hooves, bitch."

✅ True

Those are his hooves, bitch.

byjove

these thangs have venomous bites and go on sexcations

bettyrightnow

if i was a celebrity i would try out all my popular rpf pairings irl to see if you freaks are onto anything

asparklethatisblue

children of any species are very good at being annoying and very cute while doing that

a sphinx child based on this post

sandandglass

The Muppets s01e01

le-sad-demiurge

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

cheshireinthemiddle

Happy Pride Month

apricops

Stranger Things season 1: beneath the superficial image of “peace and prosperity” in 1980s small-town America, there was the painful legacy of countless atrocities committed by the American government in the name of ‘freedom.’

Stranger Things season 4: evil Russians (not Soviets) have sent our All-American Hero to the gulags which apparently still exist in the 1980s and it’s up to us to save him 🇺🇸🦅🫡

apricops

There’s probably a term that already exists for this but if there isn’t I’m gonna call it ‘Rambofication’ in honor of its probably most well known instance: Rambo First Blood was about a soldier, John Rambo (that’s his actual name I’m not doing a bit), returning home from the Vietnam war, so traumatized by war that he brought the war home with him to a small town, unable to adapt to life without strict military discipline and hierarchy. Subsequent Rambo movies were about how John Rambo was the only supersoldier tough enough and patriotic enough to kill faceless hordes of dastardly foreign commies.

Ergo, ‘Rambofication’ is the process of a series starting with a relatively nuanced or subversive narrative before its sequels become a shallow embrace of the very narrative it originally subverted. It happens surprisingly often!

hungwy

CHORE IVE PUT OFF FOR 2 MONTHS DONE RAAAAAARGHHHHH POWER OF THE DRAGON

gh0stienj0yer

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

gh0stienj0yer