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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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I'd rather be in outer space đž
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@hysteria-rogers
I vaguely remember reading ao3 fanfiction that had Darcy saying that Captain America had a Dorito body and an ass that you could bounce a quarter off of. It could have been something similar. Hoping someone can point me in the direction of this. I remember reading alot of emjay9(?)
âOops, dropped your coat!â You cheerfully pick up the soft fur coat off the floor and carefully drape it back over the personâs chair. They stare at you with wide, stunned eyes. Theyâre remarkably attractive. You awkwardly wave at them and go sit down at your table.
Theyâre a selkie, you âgaveâ them back their coat, you now have a gorgeous and besotted selkie spouse. Hey, they donât make the rules.
The next day, the attractive person you met shyly approaches you and gives you a little box with a ring inside. You blush, a little confused, and stare at them.
âI⊠Isnât this⊠An engagement ring?â
âWell⊠We⊠We should get married by human customs as well.â
â⊠What?â
Happy new year 2023
If Fairy Tail was in the modern world and the characters were regular teenagers.
Gray: Natsu why are we up in a tree?
Natsu: Because Juvia and Lucy are having a sleepover and you know what that meansâŠ(Pulls out binoculars)
Gray: You mean you dragged me all the way up here in the middle of the night, just so we could spy on them like a couple of peeping Toms? Thatâs so creepy!
Natsu: No itâs natural curiosity. Besides, donât act like you wouldnât just love to see Juvia without a bra.
Gray: (Blushes and then punches him) Dude!
Natsu: Relax! Iâm only going to be staring at Lucy. I know Juviaâs your girl and I respect the dude code.
Gray: First or all, sheâs not my girl. And second, you know we could go to jail for this, if weâre caught right?
Natsu: Oh stop being such a geek. (Looks at the window to the girlsâs bedroom) Oh hey! I think Lucyâs about to take her shirt off!
He eagerly looks through the binoculars. Gray rolls his eyes in disapproval.
Gray: Youâre really sick, you know that.
Natsu: Aww crap! I canât see her! Some half-shaved bear is blocking my view.
Gray: (Confused) A half-shaved bear?
Natsu: Yeah, and man is he ugly, and he looks mean to. Oh, I think heâs spotted us, and he looks really mad. Whatâs his problem?
Gray: Let me see that. (Looks through the binoculars and suddenly gets scared) Oh shit! Thatâs not a bear you idiot! Thatâs Juviaâs brother Gajeel, and heâs coming this way!
Natsu: Ahh! Abort! Abort mission!
Both boys jump from the tree. Gray lands on his feet and runs, but Natsu lands on his face. Gray tries to help him up.
Natsu: Itâs too late for me! Save yourself!
Gray runs off and the looming shadow of Gajeel falls on to Natsu.
Natsu: (Nervous) UmâŠWould it effect your decision to hurt me, if I told you that your sister wasnât the one I was spying on?
Everything about this post is perfect. Because growing up is for losers.Â
I just want to hide from the world in one of these
solid heckin guide
This is so disrespectful. It should be illegal.
THAT IS A LIE!!!!
Iâm not even from the US and know like three things about US history but I studied genocide at Uni and congrats guys this is genocide denial at its finest
âŠ.I think this is a Canadian textbook? Iâve never heard any textbook in the US refer to Native Americans as âFirst Nationsâ people.
Ah, yes, Snopes has it. Textbook is from Canada.
Which is absolutely not intended to exonerate American textbooks, which have done similar things. However, letâs also not forget that Canada treats their indigenous people the worst of any âdevelopedâ country in the worldâyes, including the US.
ăäč ăă¶ăă§ăïŒ
Seven said he doesnât care about your feelings.
The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.
The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit.Â
One young female tenant sees Gomez treating his wife with the utmost respect and affection and realizes that sheâs been making excuses for her awful, obnoxious boyfriend for way too long and that she deserves betterÂ
Another tenant is in a same-sex relationship and their homophobic family doesnât know (the Addams do, and Gomez and Morticia sit their kids down to explain homosexuality to them) âYour father and I love each other very much, and so does your new friend and her lovely girlfriendâŠâÂ
Another tenant whoâs being pushed through a college program they hate by their controlling parents gets the courage to stand up to them and switch majors, confident in the knowledge that if their family isnât going to accept them as an individual with their own dreams and goals, the Addams family willÂ
i almost even feel like the kids wouldnât even question it cuz like, it makes as much sense as anything else
two people playing ping pong on the middle of the stairs. are they college students during finals week? are they related to the addams? who knows.
Sliding down the stairs on old mattresses, an intense household-wide game of âthe floor is lava,â burping contests, silly string, and games of twister where you actually get electrified if you touch the wrong circleÂ
Is it Frosh Week or family game night at the Addams mansionÂ
One theory I have to explain some odd choices made by translators (and my source for it is âit makes sense to meâ so take it with a grain of salt) is basically that as human beings we share a common limit of linguistic complexity, so that languages that are simple on one level (like an alphabet with just a couple dozen letters) can afford to be more complex on some other level and conversely, a language with a more complex feature like thousands of ideograms or lots of grammatical cases will make things easier for itself in some other way.
A language like English which is quite simple in substance (easy conjugations, few verb tenses and moods, no need to remember the gender of every noun and modify adjectives and verbs accordingly, etc) can afford to be more complex in practise, for instance having a higher tolerance for implied meaning, ambiguity, syntactical flexibility, single-use neologisms, and so on. A language which is more complex on the sentence-making level (or word level, with non-intuitive spellings) will shun extra complications on the meaning-making level and demand more precise and codified phrasings, few neologisms, visible logical connectors, etc.
The example in my last post was really typical (though extreme enough to be funny)âwhere the English text said âthe Haves vs. Have Nots vs. Have Mostsâ the French translated the latter as âthose who have more than all the others.â English went for âas concise as possibleâ and French for âas clear as possibleâ. You could have said in French âceux qui ont le plusâ (those who have the most) or even âles ayant-le-plusâ (the having-mosts) but the phrase with all the meaning out in the open was preferred. And although for specific examples you can argue that something else could have worked better, it still makes sense why each language made the choice it did when you consider the text in a holistic way.
A text translated from English to French gains complexity in some ways that are inevitable (e.g. verbs that are in preterit and indicative mood in English might have to alternate in French between imparfait and plus-que-parfait and indicative and subjunctive moods, with verbal structures that are longer or less straightforward) so the translator ends up lowering complexity on other levels, like choosing to spell out ideas more fully. It may seem like a small mental effort to deduce that âhave-mostsâ mean âthose who have more than all othersâ but it quickly adds up when every sentence has vague or layered or innovative meanings. At the end of the day both the original text and the translation hit the same threshold of linguistic complexity, but the complexity is located in different aspects of language.
There are times when reading French -> English translations when you can see logical connectors being deleted for reasons that feel baffling to a French person (âit makes the structure of thinking less obvious? why would you do thatâ) but make sense if the complexity of the text has been lowered in some way that English speakers prefer (eg short, direct sentences instead of long meandering ones). Now that parsing the sentence and keeping track of clauses requires less effort, you can ask more effort of the reader by making meaning more implicitâand if the translator doesnât readjust things in this way theyâd be operating their language below capacity, and the English-speaking reader might feel like theyâre getting bogged down in overexplained phrasings instead of walking at normal speed.
So in this light the wordiness of French makes sense for French and the pithiness of English makes sense for Englishâof course there are many factors at play but thereâs one common motivation behind these opposite choices, and itâs balancing the different layers of complexity of each language (some of which are a matter of preference eg sentence length, while others are more hardwired) to try and situate your text at the level of complexity that is both hard enough to be interesting and easy enough to be comfortable for the human brain.
Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care
Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck
Well, OP, Iâm officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.
By Talos this can't be happening
reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when opâs reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.
why? because itâs funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op
I figured out roughly how many notes it's been getting per day and multiplied that by the number of days left until the end of 2023
If we keep it going at this rate we'll be far past 666k
IMPORTANT
Okay so clearly I've underestimated y'all
So how about we make this more interesting?
I will practise self care if this post reaches 666k BY THE END OF 2022
Op you have fuckethed with the devil this post has gained 30,000 notes since I reblogged it last night
How to protect yourself during stampede
this isnât the usual thing Iâd share on my stupid nerd blog, but this is SO important. I was nearly crushed in a crowd like this once. It was terrifying because you have NO control over the panicking mass of humans around you. you are just at the mercy of all this chaotic force. this is a real thing that can happen very suddenly! it did happen in the news recently! My situation was, the olympics was happening in my city, I was on my way home from school, and a crowd of people suddenly flooded into the street around me. in seconds it went from, busy-city-street-crowded, to, wtf I canât even move crowded. I was so pressed against the backpack of the man in front of me, my feet lifted off the ground a moment. People were climbing lamp posts, signs, bus shelters, trees, everything to get up out of it. it was like the street became an ocean of people, and all the peopleâs survival instincts were making them dumber. everyone was yelling. no one knew how to solve it. police, fire fighters and medics saved us by breaking the locks on the inside of the mall we were trapped next to. a huge group flooded into the building, releasing a bit of the pressure on the people outside. I was in that group that got in.
We were trapped in the mall awhile. Because the olympics was on, they had big screens in a few sitting areas of the mall that would normally be showing the games. but now the coverage was focused on this crowd surge. They showed a helicopter shot of the building we were now in, totally surrounded by colorful dots. a solid mass of humans with no space between. I know someone was partially trampled and needed medics, because I saw that, but i donât know the statistics on who else was hurt, hopefully no one killed! I donât know if these methods can definitely save you, but they might give you a better chance. so watch and share!
Sharing to my own stupid nerd blog for the same reason, this is SO IMPORTANT. Human crushes are one of the most unexpected ways to die. People go out to a show or a sports game, and make it there, but they never come back. Other strategies include staying away from large obstacles (like fences) that you could get crushed against, and doing your best to stay above the crowd. Try to climb onto something if you can.
And also â not to get nitpicky with deadly tragedies, but theyâre called âhuman crushes,â not âstampedes.â Itâs an important difference in description and also in respect. The deaths usually happen because the victims are pinned together in a tight space, they canât breathe (as in the video) and they suffocate. âStampedeâ doesnât convey what actually happened to those people. The crush that happened in Seoul recently wasnât because people âstampeded,â it was because they couldnât move at all and they suffocated. But calling it a âstampede,â youâd think it was the people themselves that ran over each other, like wild animals. Itâs disrespectful and untrue.
Horrifyingly, the victims of many human crushes have been blamed for their own deaths, which are usually purely accidental or due to criminal mismanagement from authorities. If youâre in a mental place to read about tragedies and police corruption, check out the Hillsborough Disaster, in which 97 people died due to the incompetence of the police, who then blamed everything on the victims: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillsborough_disaster
If you canât play the video:
1. Stand like a boxer. Nice wide stance, arms up like youâre preparing to either throw a punch or shield against one, i.e. elbows bent by your waist and fists by your shoulders. That will keep some space around your chest
2. If you fall and canât get up, roll onto your side and curl up in the foetal position
Okay so in zenoblade 2, in the challenge mode you can unlock shulk, fiora, and Erma. I would laugh so hard if in xenoblade 3 challenge mode, the reward would be summoning rex to the party. And thr first thing he does is go to mio, "hey have you seen your mom?" Mio says I don't have a mom. Rex says, " my wife, Nia, the queen, bore you". He might also confirm that sena is a descendant of Brigid.
Xenoblade 3 ending in a nutshell (Heavy spoilers)
Xenoblade: âSo Noah and Mio finally kiss đ„čâ
The fans:
Xenoblade: âAlso Rex had kids with Pyra, Mythra and Nia-â
The fans: âTHATâS MY BOY! WHAT A CHAD!!!â
