Social Justice Wario

No longer a comedy blog. Now barely a blog.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Tomorrow I graduate. In all likelihood at least one picture taken will be used at my funeral to remember me. Tomorrow I pose for my funeral.

[mens-rights-activia]

Alright tumblr gays, it’s time for some discourse

Your keysmashing is only valid if it includes letters from the following highlighted region:

Examples: asjglgjjggskaldhkakakdhh

agafsjdka

Lgjldhdkflsjjdldhh

Sgdkkfjdlsjagadshdkgllhjsjaldhzxajdkgsh

The above examples are valid

Examples of invalid and strange looking keysmashes:

Oteiyoeodortwowuyoe

Pwyeorncnbvncbmbvnvpwu

Itpyuye

Ncmvbb

You see, key smashes from outside the highlighted region are strange looking because they look like they could be valid words from a foreign language(welsh or Swedish) or they simply lack the size and shape variations of the highlighted region and thus cannot properly convey the E•mo•tion behind a key smash

[gwaoopa]

I WAS WONDERING WHY TF MY KEYSMASHES LOOKED SO BAD

[weaselle]

It has to primarily be comprised of letters that are part of the classic typing resting position for your hands, the “Basic Position”, or it looks forced instead of spontaneous

“g” and “h” are fine because they’re right there, “z” “x” and “q” are okay because they look funny, are almost never used in real words, and break up the monotony of the middle row’s heavy usage, and you can throw in like, ONE other letter from anywhere else on the keyboard for personal style and to indicate exuberance of flail thank you for coming to this TED talk

[everythingfox]

💯

[youtreau]

Joseph’s Machines

[unclefather]

[lickycat]

[hysterical-cackling]

All body types are beautiful

[giantsorcowboys]

[royaltyfreehorsesound]

[susanpevensle]

today i had a man tell me, in all earnest, that i obviously wasn’t very good at my classical studies degree because zeus only had one son, hercules - his source was the disney movie hercules

[creekfiend]

#it would be easier to list the sons zeus does not have

[unclefather]

facebook users: buy this makeup that i sell

instagram users: try this flat tummy tea

tumblr users: 

[yuripink]

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said “i like that name. did you know i’m in love with you”

[letthemountainsmoveyou-deactiva]

i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23

[roonilwazlip-deactivated2022021]

once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing “more school” [university] and she asked “why haven’t you found anyone to marry then”

[byeeyeslikeacat-deactivated2019]

We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says “wait you’re a STUDENT??”

[meelothemanly]

I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, “That’s not true, you’re my age”

[cractasticdispatches]

our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated ‘i’m all teached now. i don’t need to be teached anymore. i’m done of being teached.’

[diamondelight92]

once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, “Does that mean you don’t have to bring an adult with you to the pool?”

[maraudersvibes]

My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said “does that mean she is married now?”

[standard-fiend]

I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neice’s argument was that they were, in fact, also a dress because they were blue.

[loveyoutothem00n]

I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, “ooh I know! A pickle! You’d be such a good pickle”

[aimmyarrowshigh]

On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, “Are you okay? You look like you have a question.” And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously,

“Can a piranha eat a stapler?”

[manic-kin]

One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked “Do you have a boy?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said “Well, you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!”

[dinovia-grant]

I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brother’s alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it.  So I picked it up and asked her what it was.

“Octopus,” she said, all curls and smiles.

“And what kind of animal is an octopus?” I asked.  I was looking for “fish” or “sea creature” but I would have accepted almost anything–”weird,” “gross,” even “slimy.”  “Underwater” or “it lives in the ocean” would have also been acceptable. 

She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, “It’s a cephalopod.”

I haven’t been the same since.

[pepperonijem]

One time at the daycare I work at, I was playing Legos with one of the 3 year old girls, and she looked at me and said “I wish you were my mommy” and I asked “do you even know my name??” And she said “isn’t it mommy?”

I love my job

[pukicho]

You flirt and kiss and for what??? Sex?????! Love?????? Pathetic.

[aphuckingbeesechurger]

To level my charisma stat

[pukicho]

Ah a gamer, you may pass

[flamejado-deactivated20190122]

[deactivated-872458276450]

You’re lying on the sofa under a blanket, lights dimmed, watching your favourite TV show. Your cat is laid across you, sleeping but purring quietly. All is calm. All is good.

[pinkuma-buccus]

but then out of the corner of your eye you spot him

shia labeouf

[beetlebongos]

breakfast

[elliexer-moved]

lunch

[fever-dream-deactivated20180711]

dinner

[nathankujo-deactivated20220101]

dessert

[back-that-sass-up]

cool what the FUCKING HECK does this mean tho

[layabout-city]

has. has no one else seen these. gen zillenials where u at

[eughg-deactivated20190425]

i completely understand

[sweetest-honeybee]

I completely understand this

[taco-bellamy]

I think I just experienced asmr from looking at these

[bunnychoo]

i fucking used to chew those colorful clear shits

[la-dolce-vita-on-deck-blog]

dear lord

[sawyer-saucee]

Oh my god I remember

[frogseyy]

Um you forgot the snacks

[heck-im-lost]

shit you right

[guts-of-glass-deactivated202002]

And those little fucking coloured dogs, what are the dogs called FUCK they helped with numbers and came with huge fucking books they are midnight snacks

[dankmemeuniversity]

[the-blue-wizard-deactivated2018]