She Way Out

Goddamn I want a brilliant bitch

[pro-gay]

none of this would have happened under the Babadook Presidency

[lastkiss]

source

[whitepeopletwitter]

[pinkisbitter]

My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they want to. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.

[bandtshirt]

*spritzes myself with fragrance before i crawl into bed for the night*

[racingbarakarts]

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

[myblogisnotinteresting]

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

[racingbarakarts]

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

[datachapel]

i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying

[demilypyro]

skyrim guard: now you best not go looking for old man fucks murder cavern

quest added: look for old man fucks murder cavern

[chrisflemingfleming]

back in the subaru

[argumate]

wait I always assumed this guy was a girl

[ms-demeanor]

Chris is a forest spirit beyond the bounds of mortal gender. Also possibly some kind of stork.

[argumate]

I’m willing to believe that his arms and legs are conscious entities entirely separate from his body

[hellionesque]

There’s an Entire Video that breaks down Chris’s stance on gender, and it’s the best thing I’ve seen in years.

[nonbinarynedchicane]

we can’t talk about chris fleming and gender without mentioning his hit single, “I’m afraid to talk to men”

[firebreathingeli]

I saw his show live one of the best lines was “I’m not a man or a women, I’m a show pig”

[geekandmisandry]

I have never heard of this human (??) and I’m confused and intrigued.

[unclefather]

[unclefather]

[keeperofseeds]

[allerod]

[thatgirlwiththememes]

[dicksplit]

I’m scared *hides in your foreskin*

[nipple-salesman]

Customer: “yeah I’m about to go work in the middle of nowhere Texas. There’s not shit to do there”

Me: “maybe you’ll get lucky and find a dead armadillo on the side of the road. You can poke him with a stick for fun”

Customer: “you know if you married me you’d never have to work here”

Me: “…and then I could retire and spend the rest of my days poking armadillos”

[lovelyballetandmore]

[awfulbear]

This is the greatest video I’ve ever seen in my life

[desus-trash]

this will be played at my funeral thanks

[taquito]

[lmaonade]

this is so damn funny

[lmaonade]

[deathgripspussy]