I'LL BE YOUR CANDLE ON THE WATER

INFP/California Any Pronouns Mostly posting that sweet Eva content. Occasionally posting my own art.

[pseudomantis]

watched spider man 2001 saw a building that looked like the flatiron building and realized how funny willem dafoe is in that movie

[the-flatiron-building-fan-blog]

Whats good

[perlukafarinn]

every time supernatural references fortnite i think of that screencap with steve buscemi going ‘what’s up fellow kids’

[gallifreyanwriter]

Every time they do WHAT

[hellionesque]

[quickguide]

Backing up your Tumblr blog to WordPress

In this tutorial we’ll teach you how to make a copy of your Tumblr blog onto WordPress.com to act as a backup.

The first two steps don’t need to be followed if you already use WordPress.com.

1. Sign up for a WordPress.com account

You need a WordPress.com blog, simply follow the steps to select your username and confirm your account via email.

2. Open WordPress Admin

Click on My Site

Select the WP Admin you wish to import into

3. Visit the import tools page

In the sidebar menu select ‘tools’ and then ‘import’.

4. Select import from Tumblr

5. Allow Tumblr access

Click the ‘Connect to Tumblr to begin’ button. You may need to log into Tumblr if you haven’t already. Be sure to allow access to WordPress.com

6. Start the import!

Once authenticated you can select your Tumblr blog from the list of your blogs and click on ‘Import this blog’.

And you’re done, WordPress.com takes care of the rest and will create a copy of your posts onto your WordPress.com blog.

[notinlove]

[hellionesque]

@quake1fan

[redacted-metallum]

Late or Undiagnosed Autism Things!

“You don’t seem autistic”

(after relearning/learning how to stim) “What are you doing?  Stop that”

Internally: “Oh shit that wasn’t a temper tantrum, that was a meltdown because my comfort object was literally taken from my hands”

Obsessed with That One Thing that you can’t shut up about

Being deeply and personally offended by Sheldon Cooper

Asking your friends to tell you to shut up when they get bored because you Can’t Tell

I could wear these pants yesterday, but today they feel like they’re made of Sandpaper, so I Can’t

*cuts every tag off of every piece of clothing ever*

*sees self in every autistic coded character* weird

Watches stim videos for 4 hours like ????? why good

*chews on something* why

Literally eats the same thing for lunch for 11 years without getting bored of it

I Can’t find the Thing I Need so I’m Panicking Now

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Bounce leg bounce leg tap pencil click pen bounce leg

*gets tested for ADHD*  *inconclusive results*

*rolls toy truck over face* nice

Feel free to add your own, also this got so much longer than I thought it would be

(bonus round: you’re AFAB)

[autismus-obscurus]

“Just hug them, what’s wrong with you?” “Everybody hates me and I don’t know why!” - “Nonsense just try harder and you’ll have friends.” *is called lazy every day*

[modestfoureyedloser-deactivated]

*gets called rude, but isn’t trying to be*

“You’re too sensitive, we arent even that loud”

*plans are cancelled/routine is compromised* Time To Cry Wherever You Are

*gets in trouble for staring off into space, despite listening, just not giving eye contact*

Hoodie zipper zipping!!!!!! Nail biting!!! Biting inside of cheek!!!!

“____ is smart but is in their own world and has very few friends”

[hellionesque]

@adamworu look what i discovered. Seth Everman confirmed to be shinji ikari. im harmed. lay waste to me you fools

[marcherarrant]

The other night I decided to sleep in a neighborhood at the base of collserolla park in Barcelona. I was hoping to get a break from the wild pigs the bothered me when I was sleeping in the wood the previous night. Just my luck, there were more pigs in the neighborhood than in the park hahaha. A family of the walk around me the entire night. Just as I would doze off I would hear something, open my eyes, and the pigs would be right in front of me! I would yell, jump in the bench, and they would run away. This happened again and again all night. I was too tired to find another spot so I just excepted it.

[hellionesque]

@boarofthenorth100 brothers................. your brothers.........................

[glumshoe]

The bathtub in my house is an antique. It’s got clawed feet, which is cool, but the porcelain in the basin has also been worn rough.

As a result, I am only partially covered in skin today.

[glumshoe]

Hmm yes. Yes, I can confidently say that being completely covered in skin (except for a few tiny holes and openings) is far preferable to not being completely covered in skin. My uniform was not designed for people who have less skin than they ought to.

[hellionesque]

A cool, new, inexpensive idea for you:

B a t h m a t.

[chrisflemingfleming]

back in the subaru

[argumate]

wait I always assumed this guy was a girl

[ms-demeanor]

Chris is a forest spirit beyond the bounds of mortal gender. Also possibly some kind of stork.

[argumate]

I’m willing to believe that his arms and legs are conscious entities entirely separate from his body

[hellionesque]

There’s an Entire Video that breaks down Chris’s stance on gender, and it’s the best thing I’ve seen in years.

[asuccessfulbusinessman]

I am somehow even more confused after watching this.

[melonmemes]

Lacroix tastes like when your drink is still buffering

[thischick25]

Lacroix tastes like someone is sitting next to you thinking really hard about a piece of fruit

[veraxplus]

Cola addicts actually think like this, imagine having taste buds so fried and oversaturated you can’t enjoy La Croix, must be like the food eating equivalent of being a BDSM freak who can’t get off without five dudes and a car battery

[gaywig]

imagine having such a superity complex over drinking carbonated water that you compare soda to bdsm

[cheaphalloweencostume]

imagine enjoying a la croix

[hellionesque]

anyways.............. fuck this guy

[surreal]

i started seeing screenshots of tumblr users receiving messages from a blog called “sexygirlmax2019”

this is, of course, standard on tumblr, to receive porn bot messages

they were exceptionally weird “Hey peebrain -you teleport?” “Hi pea for brains…. can you teleport?”

checking the timestamps, all of sexygirlmax2019’s posts have been made today they’re formatted impeccably like bot messages and posts but they’re just a little off

this isn’t a bot this is a human controlling a blog acting like a bot all of the links?? aren’t porn links mysterious bit.ly links to this site: https://max2019.neocities.org/ if you “click here to instantly transport” you get taken to > /seraphim.html if you click it again > /cherubim.html again > /thrones.html …which returns a “Page Not Found” error

[drpepperphd]

Porn Bot ARG

[fantashic]

So I ran the mp3 you could get from /cherubim.html through a sstv scanner and got this back

Which is just straight up the image from /seraphim.html.

But the it’s weird, when I went back to /cherubim.html the page changed from a picture and an mp3 download to this:

And when I clicked on that I was taken to /firstsphere/thrones.html which looked like this:

When I clicked on THAT I was taken to /secondsphere/dominions.html and greeted to this disturbing image:

I legit don’t know what any of this means or if anybody else has had a similar experience yet, but wtf. Since I’m already down this rabbit hole, I’m going to try to snoop more into this and see what I find. If I find anything I’ll update this post.

[armandyke]

Reasons straight girls need to stop calling their female friends “girlfriends”:

- The word “friend” already exists and is gender neutral you don’t need another word for friends of the same gender

- I’m gay and confused

- That’s it

[lizzieunfortunatelynotbennet]

“I m gay and confused” is probably my new life motto

[reallytinylaura]

Once a co-worker of mine confused the crap out of me by asking how my girlfriend was and I’m like “….fine?” and then she’s like “oh so is she home from the hospital?” I realized she was taking about my friend who was in a car accident a week earlier.

Stop confusing the gays. We’re sad enough already.

[devenka]

Language policing at its finest

[armandyke]

28,000+ gay women: This is annoying and confusing

Y’all: 

[hellionesque]

wow haha @devenka you’re an asshole! congrads!! you win fucking nothing!!!

[imarkers]

[hellionesque]

OK But Please Watch This Video And You Will Feel No Sympathy For Her

[updatebug]

Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like: 

“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?” 

“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.” 

“…Noted.” 

“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.” 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”

“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”

“Yeah.”

“Does such a process not hurt?”

“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.” 

“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?” 

“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?” 

“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.” 

[batzendrick-deactivated20230703]

I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.

[tumblunni]

Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues

[ebonyheartnet]

@stabbyroomba Admiral, your legend lives on.

[stabbyroomba]

*roomba beeps of approval*

[hellionesque]

@dorano121 Doomba returns

[sepulchritude]

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

[agentquinn]

imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues 

“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we - did we break our human?”

a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises. 

“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.” 

[frowningfox]

“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the anniversary of your hatching! According to my human culture pamphlet, it is customary to set a sugary pastry on fire while chanting your species’ growth incantation and presenting sacrifices wrapped in shiny paper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this request therefor insensitive… but may I be allowed to participate? It sounds much more fascinating than molting.”

[anexperimentallife]

“Human Steve, I have read about your ritual dance called ‘The Hokey Pokey,’ performed mostly at mate-bonding celebrations after the guests reach an elevated level of intoxication. But Human Steve, how do I know WHICH left foot to put in, put out, and shake all about? I do not… Human Steve, why are you laughing?”

[captainarwenpond221b-deactivate]

“Human-Steve, you are… you are eating, but it is not one of your ritual fueling times. Are you dying? Is everything alright? Have you not been receiving enough sustenance? Do I need to get you better things to eat? Human-Steve, why are you trying to hide that food?”

[rinneavicula]

“Human-Steve, my research has informed me of a grave oversight in your care that I, as your companion, have made! Thus, I have gathered collections of fictional human literature to read aloud at the time of your bed. Which is more to your liking: “The Care and Keeping of Cacti” or “1001 Crossword Puzzles?” Human-Steve? Human-Steve, I am serious.“

[hongbubs]

One of the things I love the most about this post is how “Human-Steve” makes me think that there is also an alien called Steve in the squad, and I just imagine the first meeting and introduction where there is the human guy introducing himself as Steve and then there is this huge blue guy with like 5 legs and bug eyes and apparently Steve is like a completely regular name on his planet too in some intergalactical coincidence

that was off topic sorry.

[aethersea]

that was the best possible tangent, thank you for this addition

[hellionesque]

@dorano121 4 u.......

[hellionesque]

@slimetony rate my BTD5 setup