I am definitely a person

[flipchild]

[probuccalfat]

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

[probuccalfat]

personal agenda. Personal.

[argentcochon]

[probuccalfat]

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

[iamdefinitelyaperson]

Mace: Yoda said you two were stashing pot in here!

Qui Gon, pulling out a flower pot: You mean this?

Mace, calming down: Oh sorry, my bad. What are you growing?

Obi Wan: Weed.

[001x456]

a man and a woman can be strictly platonic friends. but a man and a man can’t be that. they have to have violent gay sex and be obsessed with each other. it’s the yaoi rule

[mariacallous]

What I realized about life under Russian occupation as a war crimes researcher

Some names have been changed to protect the identities of those featured in the story. After over two years of full-time reporting on the w

[sexhaver]

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

[001x456]

[hbmmaster]

if you call a meme fascist people will defend it by saying we can't culturally defeat fascism by letting them have everything they claim for themselves and the meme in question is "reject modernity embrace tradition"

[thedeliaishere]

theistic crystal shop: these crystals will align your chakras and induce spiritual healing

materialist crystal shop: these crystals will make you feel better because they're a cool part of nature and pretty to look at :)

agnostic crystal shop: no one knows why the crystals are good.

[damazcuz]

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

[literally-a-piece-of-trash]

Ah yes, the 5 love languages:

touch starved

my parents never told me they are proud of me

i love Stuff

im so fucken tired please god just let me rest for 5 minutes

hey pay attention to me

[indigosfindings]

people online: hi hows it going

people irl: hi hows it going

marina diamandis if she wrote an extended version of how to be a heartbreaker where it's revealed tbat electra heart is a bee: rule number five/is you protect the hive/so that the queen can survive/and all your larvae can thrive

[indigosfindings]

also i love when tv shows signify that a new scene is immediately post-sex by cutting to a shot of two characters falling face-up into bed next to each other. it always makes me imagine that for them, sex must have taken the form of levitating supine above the mattress shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at the ceiling & not touching or acknowledging each other

[ms-demeanor]

"Here is our child who is very orderly and has very black and white patterns of thought and is a very picky eater, she was diagnosed with autism at four and we worked hard to make sure she was accommodated through her education because she is easily frustrated when she doesn't see the logic of a teacher's approach or thinks she's being treated unfairly. Sometimes it's a bit of a struggle with the food, but we work around it as a family."

"Our other kid is very bright and is neurotypical as far as we know, but is very stubborn and argumentative and insists on wearing one ratty old jacket every day and eating the same breakfast and lunch every day and has a sleep disorder and is messy and forgetful and always loses homework and has gotten in a few fights "defending" other kids, oh and is also dyslexic but we worked through that so they read about twenty novels a week so at least they're not getting into trouble at parties or anything, even if we are a bit frustrated that they keep failing math and science classes while getting high grades in everything else. They'd be such a good student if only they put in a little effort or paid attention."

[neuronary]

"the only difference between a cult and a religion is the scale"

NO. NO IT ISN'T. THIS IS WHAT THE CULTS WANT YOU TO THINK IT IS NOT TRUE. THERE ARE RELIGIONS THAT ARE NOT CULTS AND CULTS THAT ARE NOT RELIGIOUS AND YOU MUST LEARN THE DIFFERENCE

[riverlarking]

ancient peoples loooved a flood narrative it was kinda like their beatles

[girldraki]