The Librarian Chronicles @ibleedtechnicolor - Tumblr Blog

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

astraldemise

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

astraldemise

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

bedrock-to-buildheight

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

sudorm-rfslash

pokefuseme

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can't wait to take him on little adventures

nomadiclegends

cryptotheism

would you recommend jerking off onto the Bluetooth rune? I know it’s a made-up rune, but my goddamn headphones just keep having weird pairing problems

It is not a made up rune. It is the Younger Futhark Bind rune, named for Haraldr Blátǫnn Gormsson, or King Harald Bluetooth.

cryptotheism

I'm not joking.

a-book-of-creatures

What

dduane

Mildly surprising how many people don't know about this.

millenianthemums

i want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick

iwasrightaboutthesun

Modern day Medusa

lakevida

my cat is meowing thru the window at the middle aged men working on the roof rn and they're meowing back at her

lakevida

she's obsessed w these guys i should have put her through trade school

mumblesplash

what if companies had the technology to calculate the total amount of time you’ve spent stuck in time loops and treated them as resume gaps in job interviews god i’m getting pissed off just thinking about it

mumblesplash

fuck you i was stuck reliving the same traumatic event over and over until i learned the value of forgiveness and figured out i needed to sacrifice my own life to prevent the car accident that killed my worst enemy and you expect me to have used that time to develop marketable skills and gain experience to work at YOUR shitty company??? capitalism is a fucking disease

tamarack-on-track

are you getting mad at something you thought up? go outside

mumblesplash

boot licker

guinevereslancelot

all the best badass male fantasy heroes aren't cool bc they have a magic sword and an cool backstory btw. aragorn and geralt of rivia would be nothing if they weren't also, fundamentally, horse girls

maple-wood

sliversoakley4

i need to stand ankle deep in a creek about this

socialmaya

jauntylittlefrillyboy

every time i have salmon it's like. bears are right. i would also stand in a stream for this.

maximumsunshine

They are also right about: honey, berries, napping all winter, and lack of pants. So really, bears are just living the best life possible.

femmeharlequin-deactivated20240

They are also right about being fat tbh more people’s goals should be to be the biggest motherfucker to survive the winter

rednightmare18

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

witcheshaven

rude-and-still-ginger

Omg someone FINALLY put it into WORDS

str0kethebigtree-deactivated202

theory 1: baseball curses are real bc look what happened to the cubs and the red sox

theory 2: baseball curses are fake bc no one has ever cursed the yankees

theory 3 (synthesis): no one has successfully cursed the yankees bc they employ a cadre of dark wizards

xenosaurus

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

thelittleblackfox

Also drink water and eat a plant

melongifts

Seconding SO HARD on that eat a plant. Switching to a high fiber diet has done more for my physical health than any other change i’ve made.

trexila

I know this isn't always easy to keep to but: put your foot down on getting sleep and food.

No all nighters and skipping meals for projects, because it turns out sleeping consistently and eating 3 times a day does WONDERS for mood.

Also a nutritionally 'imperfect' meal is better than no meal at all

cctinsleybaxter

This site is such a preschool simulator you’ll meet someone and be like ‘wow we played toys together for 5 minutes and now we’re making friendship bracelets’ and then you’ll meet someone else and be like ‘hm i’ve never hit someone with a plastic dump truck before. i think i might like to try it.’

crabussy

hey. don’t cry. crush two cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?

crabussy