Nothin To See Here Folks

Yo I’m C, this is where I post random crap that makes me happy. I’ve been in these trenches since 2013 so there’s that. 29, they/them, ace/aro, and pretty damn gay

[guooey]

[nekogirltail]

@mousegirlheart

[spiralfucker]

Gay kink stores are like here’s the fuck master 5000 gnome king pig blaster it goes in your ass obviously pigfag and pansexual kink stores are like here’s like gender sensory backdoor pridefun exploration pleasure rod and it’s the same toy

[pansydivided]

im fascinated by this. how much can you tell about the christian sex store without doxxing yourself i need to know more

[magnificentmicrowave]

*revolver click* AOOOOUUGGHH

[magnificentmicrowave]

you asked and we listened! due to popular demand we shot this dog in the head (and made it fatter)

[magnificentmicrowave]

????

[blizz4rd1203]

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

[panicatthecriscodisco]

[creekfiend]

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

[creekfiend]

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

[the-big-mood]

[mephistopheles]

i bring a sort of “you should maybe interrogate your so-called ‘preferences’ to make sure they’re not literal textbook examples of severe unconscious bias” vibe that my woke gay friends dont really like

[mephistopheles]

what this post does NOT mean

go out and fuck someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to

go out and date someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to

You’re Not Allowed To Be Gay Anymore

what this post DOES mean

if you just ‘prefer’ to avoid majority black areas of your city

if you just ‘prefer’ to read, write, think, and talk about men

if you just ‘prefer’ to socialize with people you (perceive as) your assigned birth sex

if you just ‘prefer’ to exclusively watch white-directed movies, read white-written books, listen to white-authored music

if you just unconsciously perceive men as more authoritative/competent and ‘prefer’ to be spoken to by them

this is a post about acknowledging unconscious bias. it is not a post about dating. please stop coming into my inbox and accusing me of rape apologism and telling me to kill myself. thank you

[genderkoolaid]

everyone needs to hate the united states with me this saturday cause im gonna lose my goddamn mind having to hear the wildly undeserving american autofellatio that is the fourth of july.

[genderkoolaid]

hear me when i say that just about everything good that has come out of this country has come out of it in spite of what its founders intended it to be, in spite of what it sees itself as, in spite of its stated and unstated values and goals for itself and the world. in order to love the people of the americas you have to hate the united states.

[genderkoolaid]

its not that the founding fathers truly loved liberty and justice and just unfortunately misunderstood their own values. i mean to get real historical about it, rich fucks have been taking abstract concepts like that and defining them, and spinning entire webs of belief, around their specific standpoint and what ideologically and materially benefits them, for centuries. you can draw a line straight from Athens to Washington D.C to see how "democracy" has been malconceptualized for the benefit of rich fucks.

the united states is a hellhole. a lot of people have put a lot of work into making this hellhole a hellhome, in forcing the state to compromise with society and ensuring there are some genuine democratic elements, and that matters. but i have no love for the united states, i have no love for the founding fathers, i have no love for the wealthy euro-american businessmen who convinced the poor people of the british colonies to fight and die in a war that served only to ensure all of americas wealth went to them instead of the british, i have no love for George Washington who burned down countless villages and ransacked Haudenosaunee storehouses full of bushels and bushels of corn only for their agricultural technology and prosperity to be written out of history by men who glorified him, i have no love for the "anti-slavery" slave owners or the non-slave owners whose only problem with slavery is that it made them fear for their own souls but couldn't imagine a world where they lived side by side with a Black person as their equal, i have no love for the narrative that the Civil War was fought out of purehearted desire to free enslaved people when the North simply practiced a different form of slavery, wage slavery, which was more economical because you didn't have to provide housing and food for your workers as long as you paid them a pittance and made them figure out how to stay alive themselves, i have no love for the historical revisionism around WW2, i have no love for the expectation that i should be in any way remotely proud or admiring or thankful for Vietnam War veterans or Korean War or Iraq War veterans or our fucking drone operators, i don't have any love for any of it, IF THE WORD HAS POWER YOU SHALL NOT STAND AMERICA

[dinomoder]

This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.

[gay-mooshrooms]

[the-muppet-joker]

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

[afadedmemory]

[ryan-sometimes]

Tumblr I need everyone to log in rn because the most important, quotable, instantly iconic celebrity post of the century just dropped

[ryan-sometimes]

A ship — a magnificent ship — full of gay men. And me.

I am furious, but I am sailing.

[thepanaculty]

And what is the charge?! A ship??? A magnificent ship full of gay men and me?!

[toxic-kombucha]

A magnificent ship — full of gay men

And me

[389]

[patatoscope]

[newtypezaku]

Big mood

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

[headspace-hotel]

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

[headspace-hotel]

I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.

[agent-octopus]

Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something

[headspace-hotel]

there's art now

[jetlaggingbehind]

[questions-within-questions]

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

[normal-horoscopes]

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

[stargazing-enby]

This is my new favourite post in the world

[astronomical-bagel]

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

[iphigenesis]

in a way john watson is a fantasy (what if you had this brilliant enigmatic friend and what if he liked you in particular and what if he offered you the excitement of youth and adventures and a way out of boring society life and all without having to actually give up your status as a gentleman so you could have the best of both worlds) and in a way sherlock holmes is a fantasy (what if someone never got tired of you despite your various strange habits and mood swings and instead of simply tolerating you they genuinely liked you and what if you didn’t have to live alone forever and what if you never had to give up doing the things you love) and of course there’s the most fantastical part of it all (what if you could afford london housing prices)