Stretch Marks: What I’ve Learned
Wow. I wanted to thank you all for your abundance of responses regarding my last post on stretch marks. Not just the replies, but the wild influx of asks to my inbox sharing experiences and thoughts was so valuable and also fascinating. Through those responses, I actually learned a lot. And, I wanted to share what I found with you – especially since I believe it’s a very important message to share, and bc I discovered this was really a necessary public conversation to have.
As it turns out, many of you were just as unsure as I was – about your own, about their existence in general, and about the inconsistencies within different individuals and circumstance. Many of you had the same understanding as I’d had – that stretch marks come from a rapid, accelerated expansion of the body (i.e. rapid weight gain, a growth spurt, both, etc) in one or more areas of the body, because the skin was stretched too quickly to keep up. That still seems to be the consistent understanding across the board – which is of course why pregnant persons, pubescent (pre-)teens, or those who gained weight quickly, etc. are more prone to getting them. But that still didn’t explain why some who’ve gone through absolutely NONE of those things in any way, shape or form can and do have them - while others could experience literally ALL of those things and still not have a single mark.
The inconsistencies above seemed plentiful amongst all of you who provided such honest responses of your own experiences. Many of you had no idea why your own arrived and experienced absolutely zero rapid changes throughout your lifetime, but still had them. Conversely, many of you had gone through those things or knew someone else who did and never got so much as one. Some had deep, deep awful ones with minor ‘cause’, while others had faint or easy-to-miss marks despite a pretty marked body change. And therein lied my initial confusion from my personal vantage point. I’ve been through ALL of those things (aside full-term pregnancy). I grew very quickly as very small child, then stayed stagnant for years, then had a 7 inch and many pound height/weight surge in high school, in under a year. I also lost a dramatic amount of weight several times (and experienced no loose skin to ‘grow back into’), yet even while weight restoring at an unconscionable rate, still acquired none. I was the PRIME candidate for stretch marks if there ever was one, and somehow had none – so, I’d always assumed if *I* hadn’t gotten them, they must be all but impossible to get, right? Very wrong. Clearly. And, as it turns out, I’m just one in a sea of you that doesn’t fit the script on what we’ve been told to believe about the who and the how and the why a person obtains stretch marks.
So, this is what I’ve come to understand. While gains, spurts and pregnancy might make you more prone..? Those things do NOT seem to be a pre-requisite. Manyyy people defy this rule of thumb and may still have a whole host of stretch marks despite remaining thin or small or the same weight ratio all of their life. Similarly, going through those instances - even in extremes of them - guarantees nothing either. Stretch marks seem to be more about skin elasticity, thinness or thickness, and genetics more than anything. Things that are all 100% out of your control. How stretch marks ever became something shameful or associated with heaviness angers me even more now, because there’s zero direct correlation for so. many. people. out there. Growing up as a child at a normal rate and even remaining thin your entire life could still leave you speckled in them just because your skin is a little tighter or thinner. Something as simple as going from a toddler to twenty-something can be enough to line your skin. HOW IS THAT SHAMEFUL????! It’s not. Especially when its evident that others’ genetics may mean they could be a lazy bag a taters and pack on the pounds without a single mark to show for it. You can’t assign values of shame and worth to an equation that’s inconsistent and doesn’t balance out.
Literally every single body is different. Everyone’s genetics and lineage is different. Everyone’s medical health or medication regimen is different. Everyone’s skin texture and tone and health is different. Stretch marks are merely a sign of just simply growing for so. many. people. out there. There are zero direct cause|effect guarantees. I have and ask box FILLED with evidence of this. …and my own body a testament to it as well.
I hope in my own exploration and learning that - to anyone reading this, cursing your own or internalizing them as having some deeper “meaning” or believing they say something about your body or about you as a person - you can see it just simply doesn’t. It’s just a sign that you’ve LIVED and your body has grown. It doesn’t mean you must be heavy, or were, or did something wrong. Maybe it means you had a baby or got super tall really fast - or that important medication you took once altered your skin tone. ….or that you are just as unique as every individual ever was, and that’s what your lineage called for your skin to look like. It doesn’t mean what you may have (and evidently, what much of the world has) been made to believe.
I hope this was useful to those who were also confused or interested, enlightens those who had unhealthy assumptions, and maybe even challenges a lot of negative diatribes going on inside the minds of many out there who have them. They’re more random than it’s been made to seem. And. If you can get them from just simply being alive and nothing more? Well, I think most would agree that’s a pretty okay thing to be :)
