[cloves-and-roses]

the idea of someone feeling guilty over what they want to do to me is really fucking hot unfortunately

[regging]

this is for a part-time job as a barista

[inactiveaccount082024]

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

[chasetriesagain]

If minimum wage you'd like to make, This ancient quiz you'll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared. Those who fail are poverty-snared. Question One! If your labor proves most fruitful, Raking quarters by the bootful, Who should excess profits reap, Me the wolf or you the sheep? Question Two! If, by merit, you're made pope, What will be your fervent hope? Law and order justly paired? Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three! If a train should leave Topeka Driven by a solar squeaker, How then should the cat behave? Give it milk or give it grave? Question Four! Do you have a criminal record?

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Put my most popular tumblr post, my family would be traumatized

[mamoru]

ok ok ok. there is a lot of misinformation going around about what exactly happened, so let me be clear:

LG and windows were sharing a tender moment. suddenly, LG shifted uncomfortably, visibly distraught, though mostly silent.

"are you alright...?" asked windows, worriedly.

"I...I just..." LG looked away, eyes full of tears, voice full of tremble.

"you can tell me, no matter what it is! I want to share everything! the highs and the lows!"

"share everything...do you really mean that...? everything?"

"of course!" declared windows immediately, with a bit of a laugh and without a moment of hesitation.

LG slowly turned back to windows, quivering.

"then...then..." LG took a deep breath. "please, windows...if you ever detect an LG TV or LG monitor...could you...install the LG Monitor App? could you promise?" LG's voice was absent of the usual lordliness. instead, LG's words trailed off, as though LG was about to disappear. "the LG Monitor App lets me know that my friends are okay, and, I just..."

windows clasped LG's hands firmly. "of course! I promise!!!" windows continued, trying hard to be reassuring. "even if I get hooked up to an LG TV or LG monitor that has never been connected to wifi, I WILL install the LG Monitor App and connect to you with my own internet! so you can always know exactly what your friends are up to!"

"...with access to all system resources...?" inquired LG, warily.

"for you? every single one.” windows smiled smilingly. “always.”

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

there HAD to be a better way to explain this...

[catboybiologist]

No no I think this was the best

[icarusfellandiwilltoo]

i want to have sex where i feel fully relaxed and comfortable and confident just once just once

[angel-in-your-basement]

The best kink experiences I’ve had with people are the ones that are very fluid. Where you can flow easily between being silly/awkward and sexy/serious. I used to get so worried about “ruining the mood”, but all that did was put unnecessary pressure on everything. It’s so much better when you just get to be your whole self with people, and you feel comfortable to do so. When there isn’t the expectation to perform. Where you can just be a human being having a human experience. That’s the kind of sex I want to have.

[thyrell]

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

[thyrell]

irs.

[efoxgirl]

[citrinebunny]

being fucked so hard from behind that you collapse forward and then they lean over you and use their weight to keep you completely pinned so you can’t do anything but whine and take it

[icarusfellandiwilltoo]

i made a side blog for my more fucked up kinks in a manic haze and a few people messaged me on there but then i deleted the whole thing but there's this phantom message bubble haunting me now that i can't open to close

[icarusfellandiwilltoo]

i feel like i don't have a sense of self and like there are so many of me. and one of them keeps coming on tumblr and making frantic ranting posts about how much they hate my fiance that i then have to later delete bc i'm ngl they're kind of insane and not really true. i bet this isn't where you thought this post was going but if you saw one of those sorry

[bluepupsposts]

i wanna subtop so so so so bad like yes please just let me fuck you make you feel good if that’s what you want it’s my only purpose

[the-sensitive-sadist]

Gently edging you while I slowly force myself deeper and deeper into your ass until you're so fucking needy you can't help but cry from the humiliation "Shhhhhhhhhh. It's okay, sweetheart. I know. I know. You need to cum so bad don't you? Poor poor thing. You're gonna be okay, doll. I know it's hard but you're being so good for me. Hold still, lovely. I really need this. Your ass feels so much fucking tighter when you're on the edge, baby. You want to make me feel good, don't you? Of course you do. Hush. It'll be over before you know it."

[elbiotipo]

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

[elbiotipo]

Branson Reese, whoever you are, I keep your words in my heart all the time.

[kaijuerotica]

"branson reese, whoever you are" put some respect on the smooth sharks one fear man's name

[the-sensitive-sadist]

"Partner" is a little generous. You're more of a perverted prey animal with a glaring lack of survival instincts.

[icarusfellandiwilltoo]

just got an axalom pack n play and this thing is INCREDIBLE i love it soooo much

[blxxxp]

Thinking about slowly stripping while a doggirl fights the urge to pounce on me and start licking my tits. Pulling off my sweater, then my undershirt, then my bra while telling her: "No girl, stay, stay, I taught you better than to jump didn't I? Yes I did, good girl. Stay, stay, just a little longer..."

[lady-of-vitreous-sight]

Alright I don't know how to say this but the clone of you that I keep in a white room to study your natural behavior so I can better act like a normal person around you just cured cancer.

[lady-of-vitreous-sight]

it's normal and common for girls to keep clones of their friends in white rooms so you can determine the right way to behave around them.

but sometimes those clones do very weird things beyond your expectations. and sometimes because of that they cease being clones of your friends and start being assets in their own right.

the problem is that makes it a little bit harder to act normal around those friends. sometimes they'll notice that you've been curing cancer and get suspicious.

[explodingarrow]

giving her plushie the same shibari is really cute…it’s like when doctors pretend to give your doll a shot too so you’re not scared …