yes babe your player character looks gnc af now will you please roll initiative
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Game Changer & Make Some Noise
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@icastplantgrowth
yes babe your player character looks gnc af now will you please roll initiative
Vampire question. Version 6 is after version 20?
for sensible reasons, the sequence of editions of vampire the masquerade go: 1st ed 2nd ed Revised v20 v5 v6
For folks unclear, because the numbering is ridiculous: V20 was the 20th anniversary edition (and was part of a line of [letter]20 WoD anniversary editions) and was announced years before V5, resulting in the weird naming.
luckily it could be worse! such as hunter, which went straight from first edition to fifth edition!
"everyone's talking about this funny animal online. surely everyone will love it if we assign a bunch of numbers to him and encourage everyone to pretend to kill him in our Product™!"
this post really feels like the ultimate encapsulation of WOTC's behavior towards D&D. they want it to be the perfect friendly Everygame, but they're also shackled to the fact that D&D has, since it's inception, been a game where players are encouraged - by design - to kill every single thing that moves.
did you like this physically disabled animal? now you can kill it
I feel like the first class you played in DND tells a lot about you
Reblog and put in the tags what your first class was
My betrothed is DMing and they said we see a “house on a fluffy hill.”
I started vibrating with excitement. The rest of the players were not suspicious.
Our warlocks imp started approaching and tried to enter the cabin and I started whisper chanting, “Baba yaga, baba yaga!”
A giant chicken reared it’s head and promptly ate the imp.
My betrothed then rolled out a photo they made of this baba yaga hut, which was just a chicken with an MS paint cabin on its back.
I’m so stoked to be marrying this person.
My magnum opus.
A fucking masterpiece. I proposed we tangle up the chickens feet like it’s an AT-AT, and it’s going pretty well.
Oh my god the chicken has a pecking attack, which we expected, and a raking attack with its claws, and THE CABIN ATTACKED BY FLINGING A TILE. THE CABIN ATTACKED US.
So our warlock just wanted us to roast this chicken and my rogue really didn’t want to kill it. It was gargantuan but just as stupid as a normal chicken. We learned from our fae werewolf NPC that these are native to the fae wilds and naturally grow houses on their backs so it’s part of the animal.
So our ranger fed it good berries with Sanctuary protecting him while my rogue ran around tying up its feet.
Once we had toppled it we struggled against its Feather Fluffing to enter the cabin. It shot house tiles at us, but the warlock, ranger, and rogue all made it inside while the werewolf fighter held the rope to keep it down and our paladin hid in the trees.
We got what we came for and left in peace. Goodbye baba yaga chicken hut, I loved you.
Edit to add: I was questioning why the lich we were fighting would have a tower that has a pocket dimension with a fae chicken for a bedroom and they were like, “It’s a fancy room and he doesn’t have to heat it because the chicken keeps it warm!”
The party ended up latching onto this chicken to an extreme degree. She’s been named Garlic. We needed to figure out how to transfer ownership from the lich we killed to us.
So while my rogue went to gather up party members we left recuperating the paladin, ranger, and warlock decided to try to impersonate the lich and transfer ownership.
They dressed the paladin as the defeated lich and then he cast Alter Self to appear to be the lich and convince the chicken he was selling her.
But then my rogue came up and was like holy shit the lich is back and shot the paladin and the other characters got mad but I was like she literally wasn’t here for this plan and it’s a lich of course she shoots!
Eventually this plan succeeded and we got the chicken to accept the warlock as her new owner.
We spent an entire session trying to figure out how to get the chicken out of the tower. She’s our giant fucking chicken now.
“I wish I was more powerful, like you guys. Even casting fireball takes it right out of me some days.”
“Hey, none of that. You're a valued member of the team, no matter what your power level.”
“I just don't understand how you can tear open that portal to the fire dimension so easily.”
“… fire dimension?”
“Yeah. Where the fire lives. Before you summon it. For fireballs.”
“Dude. We've been creating explosions by igniting flammable gases in the air. What the fuck have you been doing?”
I haven't read as many TTRPG system books as you, so I wanted to ask: What is the most absurd or exaggerated things you ever read in a system book? for example, there is this brazilian system called 3D&T and in the page giving examples of "what each level on each stat can do" they go from the usual 5 max starter points to over to over a 1000 points in one stat saying "you can destroy a star in one attack with this value"
The basic problem with this question is that the high end of what player characters can do in high-powered tabletop RPGs very rapidly becomes too big to powerscale. If you push things far enough, shit goes all conceptual in a way that defies direct comparison.
For example, a starting player character in Jenna Moran's Nobilis can work transformative miracles upon their domain which affect the entire observable universe; how do you powerscale the ability to shatter planets with your bare hands against the ability to transform truths into lies or become immanently embodied in every instance of the colour blue? Sarah Newton's Mindjammer uses a fractal character creation system which allows entities to be given stats at nearly any scale, with lower-scale entities able to "borrow" the stats of higher-scale entities within specific domains; how do you powerscale the ability to fly faster than light against the ability to act "as" an entire galaxy-spanning civilisation? What does that measuring stick look like?
the most absurd or exaggerated thing I have ever read in a system book is the phrase "Generic Universal Role Playing System"
RIP Jester Lavorre you would’ve loved scientology speedruns
I've had a couple of people ask for a digestible version of the whole "the real problem with Dungeons & Dragons is false advertising, not anything that's present in its text" thing I keep alluding to, so here's the bullet point version of that argument:
Dungeons & Dragons is owned by Hasbro. Yes, the same Hasbro that owns Monopoly and My Little Pony.
Hasbro wants D&D to be the only tabletop RPG that anyone plays.
In order to accomplish this, Hasbro needs D&D to be a universal entry-level game.
D&D is not a universal entry-level game.
All game rules are opinionated about how the game ought to be played, and as tabletop RPGs go, D&D's rules are more opinionated than most. This is not a flaw, but it's not what Hasbro needs.
D&D is also on the high end of complexity as far as tabletop RPGs go, and it's complex in a way that strongly rewards system mastery, so it's pretty far from "entry level".
Hasbro could produce a version of D&D that's at the very least less opinionated and more entry-level than it presently is, but they don't want to, because they've determined that certain rules features which run counter to both of those goals are critical to D&D's brand identity.
They also don't want to produce multiple versions of D&D tailored for different audiences, because they want every single D&D group to be a potential purchaser of every single D&D product; they'd be effectively competing with themselves for their own customer base if the published game was actually modular in any meaningful way.
So how does Hasbro square that circle?
Simple: they lie. They insist that D&D is in fact a universal entry-level game in spite of all evidence to the contrary, and back their advertising up with sponsored thinkpieces and podcasts and such to "prove" it.
Further, they've spent decades fostering a culture of play which conceals the gap between the game they're advertising and the game they're selling by ascribing any appearance that D&D isn't a universal entry-level game to the incompetence or malice of individual GMs.
The game the rules want to produce disagrees with the game the group wants to play? Nonsense – even the rankest beginner should be able to produce any experience of play using any set of rules, and if your GM can't, they're a Bad GM.
The game is hard to learn? No, it isn't – your GM is merely gatekeeping you. This wouldn't be a problem with a Good GM.
The upshot is that the published rules are more or less irrelevant with respect to achieving the desired experience of play, because they're operating within a culture of play which dumps 100% of the work of making that desired experience of play happen on the GM.
Indeed, much of what modern D&D presents as GMing best practices are really methods of working around the fact that the rules you're using disagree with you about what kind of game you're playing.
(It's not a coincidence that D&D's entrenched culture of play also insists that it's normal for GMs to be miserably overworked and treats GM burnout as a big funny joke, then turns around and loudly wonders why there's a constant GM shortage.)
The trick is, because you're still at least notionally using the rules of D&D, the fruits of all that GM labour are perceived as the product of "playing D&D", not of the GM's hard work.
In essence, Hasbro's business model for Dungeons & Dragons is selling you your own GM's labour with a D&D sticker on it.
It's a very neat trick, if you can pull it off.
Now, at this point some readers may be asking: well, sure, but not all GMs are doormats. What about "killer" GMs who do gatekeep and railroad their players and otherwise act like complete tyrants? I hear horror stories about them all the time.
That's the second trick: these are not opposites. The GM as human Xbox and the GM as tyrant of the table both represent the GM doing all the actual work of making the game happen. The latter isn't the outcome that Hasbro wants, but it's a logical conclusion of the position they want the GM to be in.
I've seen a few folks in the notes respond "okay, but if that's true, why is D&D so much more flexible than most indie RPGs?", and the answer is that it's not. That's part of the sleight of hand I've talked about where the GM's labour is framed as part of the product. To break it down:
As noted above, all game rules are opinionated about what kind of game they wanted to produce. This isn't just a matter of setting (though setting-neutral games are often misleadingly called "universal" games), but also a matter of the basic structure of the narrative which emerges when you follow the rules.
The rules of Dungeons & Dragons is not less opinionated than those of your average indie RPG, and in fact are more opinionated than most. (And again, having strongly opinionated rules is not something that's wrong with D&D; it's merely something that's inconvenient for Hasbro's marketing goals in a way they're unwilling to address.)
In brief, D&D really, really wants your game to be a sword and sorcery dungeon crawl. If the GM is using the framework of play furnished by the rules at all, or if the players are responding to the rules' player-facing incentives even a little bit, it's going to squish your game into something dungeon-crawl-shaped.
(This should not be surprising; it's literally in the name!)
The rules of D&D being opinionated in this way tends to fly under the radar for a couple of reasons, one less problematic and one more so.
The relatively benign reason is that many popular RPG premises are not done any great violence by being squished into the shape of a sword and sorcery dungeon crawl.
A cyberpunk smash and grab caper? Basically a dungeon crawl already.
A special forces op in a modern military game? That doesn't need to be shaped like a sword and sorcery dungeon crawl, but it can be shaped like one and remain intelligible as what it's supposed to be.
Gritty logistics-driven survival horror? Not inherently dungeon crawl shaped, but the two genres are compatible – a game can be both at the same time, as video games like Fear & Hunger and Look Outside demonstrate. (Indeed, Look Outside's apartment building follows the structure of an old school D&D megadungeon nearly beat for beat!)
Thanks to D&D's pervasive cultural influence informing what people expect a tabletop RPG to be, as long as this kind of compatibility is present, many folks won't even notice their intended premise is being squished into the shape of a sword and sorcery dungeon crawl.
If your chosen premise isn't compatible in this way, or if the group notices what's happening and decides to push back against it, though? That's where the sleight of hand I alluded to above starts to come into play.
Remember: a Good GM™, even a total novice, ought to be able to use any set of rules to produce any desired experience of play, right?
So get to work!
i.e., just as much of the game's putative approachability is the product of Hasbro selling the players their GM's labour in a D&D-shaped box, much of D&D's putative flexibility is the product of the GM being sold their own labour in a D&D-shaped box.
To be clear, this is not militating against homebrew content or rules. Homebrew is perfectly cromulent, and certainly, some games are more or less structurally amenable to it (though modern D&D tends to fall on the "less" side).
The problem is that what we've got on our hands is a culture of play that wants to have its cake and eat it too: when doing extensive homebrew is treated as part of the GM's basic, entry-level responsibilities, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking of the product of that labour as merely being a feature of the game.
Which is, of course, exactly what Hasbro's marketing ghouls want.
"quirky irreverent take on a generic dungeons and dragons setting" is a premise that has been driven into the ground so hard it's bored a tunnel through the earth. the mcelroy brothers forcefully extracted the last dregs of potential from it back in 2015 and the well has been fully dry ever since
"But how can you justify a player character with a (non-disinherited) noble background in a dungeon-crawling fantasy game" well, the most obvious approach is a fantasy setting whose nobility practices cognatic primogeniture where, instead of "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes a priest", it's "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes an adventurer". From the player's perspective, it handily explains why the title comes with little material support from the family; from the family's perspective, there's an unspoken understanding that most of the spare heirs will be eaten by a dragon (or whatever), thereby simplifying the inheritance situation, and the few survivors will become great assets.
(There is, of course, the possibility that a surviving third son, having grown powerful and understandably harbouring some slight resentment, may return, kill his elder brothers with dark magic, and take over the dynasty, but in practice this almost never happens.)
As an added bonus, if you, the first born son, ever run into -true- trouble, you probably have a few aunts/uncles/second-cousins hanging around who can bring utterly insane amounts of force (political, physical, magical, whichever) down upon it for you.
Very few adventuring-third-children nobles have any desire to take on all the hassle and responsibility of running a noble estate when they finally return home after years of seducing dragons and fighting gods. They just want a nice comfy chair, lots of respect, and all the wine they can drink. And in exchange, they occasionally pull a few fistfuls of gems out of the ol Bag of Infinite Holding, tell stories about that time they cut the head off that giant dragon whole's bones are a mountain range now, and head on down to the Senate Chambers to incinerate whoever's making their sweet nephew so upset these days.
It's often remarked how D&D 5e's play culture has this sort of disinterest bordering on contempt for actually knowing the rules, often even extending to the DM themselves. I've seen a lot of different ideas for why this is, but one reason I rarely see discussed is that actually, a lot of 5e's rules are not meant to be used.
Encumbrance is a great example of this. 5e contains granular weights for all the items that you might have in your inventory, and rules for how much you can carry based on your strength score, and they've set these carry capacities high enough that you should never actually need to think about them. And that's deliberate, the designers have explicitly said that they've set carrying capacity high enough that it shouldn't come up in normal play. So for a starting DM, you see all these weights, you see all the rules for how much people can carry or drag, and you've played Fallout, you know how this works. And then if you try to actually enforce that, you find that it's insanely tedious, and it basically never actually matters, so you drop it.
Foraging is the example of this that bothers me most. There's a whole system for this! A table of foraging DCs, and math for how much food you can find, and how long you can go without food, etc. But the math is set up so that a person with no survival proficiency and a +0 to WIS, in a hostile environment, will still forage enough food to be fine, and the starvation rules are so generous that even a run of bad luck is unlikely to matter. So a DM who actually tries to use these rules will quickly find that they add nothing but bookkeeping. You're rolling a bunch of checks every day of travel for something that is purpose built not to matter. And that's before you add in all the ways to trivialize or circumvent this.
These rules don't exist to be used, that is not their purpose. These rules exist because the designers were scared of the backlash to 4e, and wanted to make sure that the game had all the rules that D&D "should" have. But they didn't actually want these mechanics. They didn't want the bookkeeping, they didn't care about that style of play, but they couldn't just say, "this game isn't about that" for fear of angering traditionalists. And unfortunately the way they handled this was by putting in rules that are bad, that actively fight anyone who wants to use that style of play and act as a trap to people who take the rules in good faith.
And this means that knowing what rules are not supposed to be used is an actual skill 5e DMs develop. Part of being a good 5e DM is being able to tell the real rules that will improve your game from the fake rules that are there to placate angry forum posters. And that's just an awful position to put DMs in (especially new DMs), but it's pretty unsurprising that it creates a certain contempt for knowing the rules as written.
You should have contempt for some of the rules as written. The designers did.
One of my favourite reading comprehension failures I bump into on this blog is when I criticise a game and I get folks coming to me like "well actually [thing] cannot possibly be true of [game] because [game] has one sentence in its introduction that says [other thing]". Like, y'all are aware that it's possible for a text to make claims about itself which are not true, right? Hell, if tabletop RPGs were people, claiming to possess features which they do not in fact possess would be one of their favourite pastimes!
More pertinently to recent discussion, the explicit claims a game's text makes about the roles of the players and the GM need not be in any way consistent with the understanding of those roles articulated by the structure of the mechanics – and I'd argue that inconsistency is more the rule than the exception there.
#writing “have fun!” as my tongue-in-cheek rule zero #then using that to say that anyone who didn't have fun was simply not following the rules properly (via @fjordojustice)
@allfunniesandgames replied:
"If you're not having fun, then you're not playing RAW" is a fantastic deflection.
I think it's important to understand that certain portions of the tabletop roleplaying community actually, literally make this argument. Many games contain a "Rule Zero" section which boils down to "if there's ever a conflict between the game the rules want to produce and the game the group wants to play, no there isn't, because the rules also state that it's the GM's responsibility to modify the rules to resolve the conflict", and some folks sincerely cite such Rule Zeroes to dismiss out of hand any criticism that the game's rules-as-written don't actually do what the text claims they do, on the grounds that the GM's failure to resolve the disconnect proves that Rule Zero was not followed, therefore the game was not being played by the rules-as-written.
Servant: Your highness, a party of adventurers has answered your call for help.
King: Excellent. What are they like?
Servant: One of them is a dragon-lady.
King: Interesting. Those are rare around these parts.
Servant: Another is a goblin paladin.
King: Not a role you usually see goblins in.
Servant: A third is a purple-skinned tiefling.
King: I didn't even know they come in that color.
Servant: The last one is a sapient gelatinous cube.
King: What. How did these four even meet?
Servant: They met in a tavern two hours ago, apparently.
Queen: My love, please return to bed.
King: *pacing* Why would a gelatinous cube come to a tavern? Can it even get drunk? How did it fit through the doors?
All-cubes party
Which character would you play?
Dragon-lady
Goblin paladin
Purple-skinned tiefling
Sapient gelatinous cube
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I know some would consider this an unreasonable expectation, but I feel like when I pick up an officially licensed tabletop RPG adaptation of some piece of media, it shouldn't be a coin toss whether or not there will be any mechanism for playing as the sorts of characters that the game's ostensible source material is actually about.
The source material: Cold opens with Spacewizard Lasergirl blowing up a small moon.
The tabletop RPG: Zero to hero advancement, a page-long table of melee weapons in spite of the fact that the source material depicts no hand to hand combat, and a condescending sidebar explaining why playing as Spacewizard Lasergirl would be "unbalanced".
You need to understand that there is both an officially licensed Avatar: The Last Airbender RPG where nobody is allowed to be the Avatar and an officially licensed Doctor Who RPG where nobody is allowed to be the Doctor. The situation is dire.
If your reaction to the preceding post was "wait, those actually make sense because it's bad to have a group of tabletop RPG characters where one character is more powerful than the other characters", you are very much part of the problem.