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@icicledust
message to all bitches
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shane sees a kid with a rozanov jersey before a boston - montreal game, snaps a quick picture and sends it to ilya because he thinks it’ll make him happy. but because he is also shane “bitch unknown” hollander, he follows up with “too bad they’ll go home disappointed, because im gonna wipe the fucking ice with you”
i’m just gonna drop a little “Jesus fuck what are you doing threads” rant here bc like hudson can delete all his social media if he wants for whatever reason. Y’all analyzing and pointing fingers and shit.
that said I hope he’s okay. That’s legit all I want for these two but apparently that’s fucking radical lmfao
has anyone drawn this with Shane & Ilya yet
Op the vision is hilarious, you win
oh. i didn’t clarify posting here. i identify as trans masc non-binary and use she/he pronouns.
tho i feel like imma slowly slip into trans man territory but. we’ll see lmao.
Hearing news from friends and seeing a bunch of posts on r/transDIY and Twitter that Florida is currently seizing DIY shipments and people are getting calls from the police. Heard this both from people getting Estrogen, Progesterone, and T-blockers and people getting testosterone. If you are wondering why some sources stopped shipping to Florida that is why. If you are doing DIY in Florida be careful.
This is a sincere genuine for-real offer.
If you are DIY in Florida and maybe need to work something out with someone in Georgia manageably close to the Florida border, message me.
deeply deeply deeply intrigued by the wall art choices from this zillow listing i found in Quebec
I fully believe, to the depths of my soul, that if one of the Metros said “I bet Rozanov has a tiny dick”, Shane “maybe he’s sick” “he’s not” Hollander would instantly say “he doesn’t” and then walk into the ocean
blink and you miss them running by
[art by me - neonscrapyard]
instagram || etsy
As a white Slavic person myself who dated an Asian man for several years, I feel like I have some very specific Hollanov headcanons I would like to share
1. Jokes about being mistaken for relatives, anyone who has ever been in an interracial relationships knows what I’m talking about. Some white Centaurs player is complaining about his white girlfriend being mistaken for his sister, and Ilya’s annoying ass cuts in like “omg this happens to Shane and I alllll the time sooo annoying”, the sarcastic jokes that they get mistaken for siblings/twins/cousins never stop
2. Communism jokes whenever Ilya wants to share something that Shane has, “Shane it’s OUR personal space, this is how it is in Russia 🙄” then whenever Ilya complains about Shane’s boring car, Shane hits him with the “oh I thought it was OUR car huh🤨”
3. The STRONG mutual agreement that cold water is bad for indigestion and highly preferring room temp drinking water, and yes, this does get them some side eyes from teammates when they always refuse ice in their water. On the flip side, they both drink their tea scorching hot, and anything less than boiling is not hot enough.
4. They may avoid The Question since they’re both famous, but I feel like it’s likely that Ilya still sometimes gets the heavily disguised “oh and where is your husband from…no no I mean where is he ‘originally’ from” and every time he gives a straight faced “Ottawa😐”
5. I know in the show we see Shane and Ilya wearing shoes in the house a few times and I’m here to say this is FAKE NEWS. Both of our boys are strict no outdoor shoes in the house, and they only wear house slippers when at home.
6. Whenever they are drunk or just delirious with sleep in the late hours, one or both of them starts a sentence in a different language without even realizing. Just to clarify, multilingual people do not “forget to switch” but the wires can get crossed when the brain is impaired. Shane hears Ilya getting up at 3am for water and tries to ask where he’s going, but it comes out in French and Ilya’s standing there in the dark like “…I don’t know what that means Shane”
7. An unanticipated struggle of hiding their relationship in their early days was just their different hair types. Hayden is hanging out at Shane’s place and sees strands of blonde curly hair on the couch and spots curly hair products in the bathroom…suspicious. They’re constantly finding each other’s hair in their beds, their clothes, their OWN hair, Shane one time finds a strand of Ilya’s hair in his meal prep and gives him the cold shoulder for the rest of the day.
8. Obligatory jokes about throwing in a “oh what because I’m Asian?” in an arbitrary conversation. Ilya and Shane are obviously immune to these from each other over time but it never fails to turn their teammates into fumbling messes. A Boston teammate asks Ilya if he knows about a niche American political topic (he doesn’t) but Ilya just responds with “oh you assume I do not know bc I am immigrant, this is so xenophobic of you” and he watches with glee as this guy backpedals harder than ever before in his life
I kinda thought of these off the top of my head, I would love to hear other peoples thoughts about this 😋😋
post outing but pre hollander in ottawa a reporter asks roz if he’s ever thrown a game for hollander and roz rolls his eyes and says “no. the first and last time i even joked about throwing a game not even against him he did not let me touch him for 2 weeks. i have not dared to since, it took a 2 weeks long win streak to convince him i was not serious. i do not even joke about things with such dire consequences.” and everyone laughs it off but people online find the 2 weeks long win streak and the whole time roz is playing like hes possessed flattening team after team including montreal and everyone collectively is like ‘ah. them winning against each other is a sex thing.’
another underappreciated tumblr feature that you dont get on other sites is the queue. i love it when something i thought was funny six months ago and then forgot about a week later crawlts its way out of the processing vortex and i get to see it all over again.
you should queue this post it would be funny and grant me immortality
you motherfuckers put me in the processing vortex
Harris posts a compilation of shane's 'ohhh you piss me off', whacking ilya with his stick during practice, 'no NO', his Angry Pout ™️, 'ilya so HELP me', glaring from the bench, n ofc the ever present 'fuck off rozanov'. at the end is another compilation of the camera panning to Ilya's reaction to every one with the most endearing ily eyes. its captioned nobody save him. hes right where he wants to be. the hollanov shippers send that shit triple platinum in a day.
This is fucking hilarious. 1,847 single lemons
I really think we as a fandom are overlooking “canonically has a lesbian sister” “proud ally” “wife guy to a doctor” “managed to befriend clinically anxious Ryan Price” Wyatt Hayes as a character and a potential close friend for Shane.
1.01 // 1.06
during his first year in ottawa, ilya casually mentions he’s going to get coffee with david after practice and the team is like “who tf is david?????” meanwhile luca haas, hollanov shipper supreme, starts losing his fucking mind