he's the funniest person i know

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Cosimo Galluzzi

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will byers stan first human second
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

@theartofmadeline
taylor price

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Keni

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$LAYYYTER
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izzy's playlists!
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@icouldbetheradishspirit
he's the funniest person i know
Why is the baby’s legs so god damn long???
Because he should be fucking walking
Baby got 8 year old legs.
Lmaooooooooooo there’s a lot going on
An Ancient Relic of times long past.
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
#what the fuck happened here
This is my favorite post in all of tumblr
reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia
reblog it, because Russia can´t
Thanks Obama
IM LAUGHING SO HARD
push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
Have a good day !
“When you’re scared but you still do it anyway, that’s brave.”
— Neil Gaiman (via purplebuddhaquotes)
How most people with invisible illnesses are treated by health care “professionals”
The Golden Girls didn’t fuck around
pls watch
honestly i really appreciated this scene when I first saw it bc it took me like two years to get a diagnosis for what’s wrong with me
Dorothy: Dr. Budd?
Dr. Budd: Yes?
Dorothy: You probably don’t remember me, but you told me I wasn’t sick. Do you remember? You told me I was just getting old.
Dr. Budd: I’m sorry, I really don’t–
Dorothy: Remember. Maybe you’re getting old. That’s a little joke. Well, I tell you, Dr. Budd, I really am sick. I have chronic fatigue syndrome. That is a real illness. You can check with the Center for Disease Control.
Dr. Budd: Huh. Well, I’m sorry about that.
Dorothy: Well, I’m glad! At least I know I have something.
Dr. Budd: I’m sure. Well, nice seeing you.
Dorothy: Not so fast. There are some things I have to say. There are a lot of things that I have to say. Words can’t express what I have to say. [tearing up] What I went through, what you put me through—I can’t do this in a restaurant.
Dr. Budd: Good!
Dorothy: But I will!
Dr. Budd’s date: Louis, who is this person?
Dr. Budd: Look, Miss–
Dorothy: Sit. I sat for you long enough. Dr. Budd, I came to you sick—sick and scared—and you dismissed me. You didn’t have the answer, and instead of saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” you made me feel crazy, like I had made it all up. You dismissed me! You made me feel like a child, a fool, a neurotic who was wasting your precious time. Is that your caring profession? Is that healing? No one deserves that kind of treatment, Dr. Budd, no one. I suspect had I been a man, I might have been taken a bit more seriously, and not told to go to a hairdresser.
Dr. Budd: Look, I am not going to sit here anymore–
Dr. Budd’s date: Shut up, Louis.
Dorothy: I don’t know where you doctors lose your humanity, but you lose it. You know, if all of you, at the beginning of your careers, could get very sick and very scared for a while, you’d probably learn more from that than anything else. You’d better start listening to your patients. They need to be heard. They need caring. They need compassion. They need attending to. You know, someday, Dr. Budd, you’re gonna be on the other side of the table, and as angry as I am, and as angry as I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.
It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips
im laughign remember when i made this post
why’d she resign
couldnt handle the truth
i drew a pigeon on ms paint when my internet stopped working do you guys like it
i drew pigeon some papaya to eat
I drew pigeon a friend
he brings kiwi
crow brings a single cherry to the party because it was so last minute and this is all he had in his nest
robin was going to bring a slice of bread that she found in the park but she ate it on the way there
can greg come too?
https://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-money-billionaires-celebrities-make-per-hour-2018-8
Do you ever think about how Jeff Bezos could feed literally more than a million food insecure people while losing an hour’s wage but you have to tell yourself no when you want to buy a coffee but can’t because that’s all your rent money?
I do too
Apple: Literally design their phones to become an expensive toxic brick within a few years
Gas Companies: Actively work to prevent anything being done to develop, promote or in any way make green energy sources widely known of available or affordable to anyone because slowly murdering the planet makes them millions of dollars
Big Companies: Literally dump toxic crap where it will cause serious harm to the earth and the species on it
Governments: Clearly what we need to do to save the earth is make people pay money to use carrier bags so they can actually carry their shopping home
AND BAN DRINKING STRAWS
This, my friends, is called Individualization of Responsibility, aka holding the citizens accountable for the destruction caused by corporations :/
hey not to be absolutely fucking morbid on main or anything but if we do reach a point where the rich try to escape extinction by fleeing earth to live on their secret mars colony or whatever my dying moments will be taking solace in the fact that a society comprised solely of the 1% of the richest people on the planet will tear itself apart in under a year
can’t wait for Fyre Fest 2 on mars
not to be overly optimistic on main but without the 1% we might stand a chance