WHICH SAILOR SENSHI YOU SHOULD FIGHT
Sailor Moon - No. Don’t. Look, first of all, Usagi is a precious cinnamon roll who only wants to make her friends happy, so why WOULD you. Secondly, she can like literally melt you into a cloud of sparkles with the force of her love. Thirdly, even if she somehow fails you now have four Sailor Senshi (plus Tuxedo Mask) on your ass. Just buy her some ice cream or something.
Tuxedo Mask - Not technically a Senshi, but close enough. You can fight him, and you will win, because basically his powers are ‘roses’ and ‘speeches’, but make sure you get out before Sailor Moon shows up. DO NOT KIDNAP.
Sailor Mercury - You’re probably going to win here, honestly, but she’ll just be quietly sad and look at you with those heartbreaking big eyes and you’ll feel guilty for weeks.
Sailor Mars - Look, if YOU want to fight the woman with complete control of fire and far less control of her anger, it’s your funeral.
Sailor Jupiter - I understand, I really do. The baking, the hugs - she has to be an easy one, right? HAHAHA NO, HOPE YOU AREN’T ATTACHED TO YOUR FACE BECAUSE IT WAS JUST PUNCHED IN, WITH LIGHTNING. Also Mercury will make sad faces at you again do you want that.
Sailor Venus - If you win, it’s because Venus wants you to, honestly. And she’ll be making bad puns the entire time. Don’t fight Venus.
Sailor Chibimoon - Oh, sure, beat up the SMALL CHILD who has the QUEEN OF THE WORLD as her parent.
Sailor Uranus - I’ll be honest here, this will be tricky. Uranus is powerful, and even if you win you’re going to have to be on guard for the rest of your life, because Neptune WILL follow you and, just when you think you’ve escaped, she will ruin you with a single gesture. But please. Please try. Just give her one good, hard punch and tell her to stop being such an idiot about her emotions. Please.
Sailor Neptune - You’ve lost before you even started. Just by considering this idea, you have somehow tripped a string in some elaborate plot of Neptune’s to emotionally destroy you. It’s all downhill from here. Also, Uranus will hit you with a car.
Sailor Pluto - If she’s not breaking every goddamn taboo of her job, you might have a slim shot, because she basically only has one not-time-control thing going for her, but Pluto literally constantly breaks the rules so you’ll be time-stopped and killed literally before you know what happened.
Sailor Saturn - GEE, JUST BEAT UP THE 11-YEAR-OLD AVATAR OF DEATH AND RUIN, WHAT COULD GO WRONG
Sailor Starlights - Kick their asses, especially Fighter. Good plan here: recruit Uranus to help you out, and then after you win punch Uranus per the above.
Sailor Chibichibi - I don’t trust that thing.
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