professional idiot

idiocy is a lifestyle

[pinkyypieee]

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[s4mm4n]

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

[argumate]

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

[lastweekseyeliner]

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it would explain so much about Gotham economics if it turned out the only employers who pay a livable minimum wage are 1) Wayne Enterprises duh, but mainly 2) all of Gotham's assorted villains.

sure henching comes with shitty working conditions, but the benefits package is crazy competitive. they have dental

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Gotham's villains are so engrained because supervillainy is the only thing propping up the local economy. henching requires no work experience, provides on-the-job training, and has a diversity hiring program (you're willing to commit crimes in tacky matching uniforms? great you're in, here's your gun and clownsuit)

Batman is constantly throwing money trying to compete but the fact remains that henchpeople are Gotham's largest workforce and will be until minimum wage laws catch up to reality

[fall-out-girlboy]

even educated jobs in environmental science are probably getting laundered money from poison Ivy. and a lab equipment tech might notice three different jobs are tied to pamela Isley and also happened to receive grants from "unrelated" shady shell orgs and the next one is setting up a temperature controled penguin habitat for some eccentric obvious mobster.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

half of Gotham's supervillains have doctorates of course they're also funding the sciences (for crime purposes but still)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we need a new supervillain who gets drawn into villainy specifically to make money for funding grants. they come up with a theme and wacky outfit and loony backstory but at the end of the work day they change back into their alter ego (tired scientist with bags under their eyes and a hotpocket stuck in their labcoat). they're actually very mild mannered irl—the villain persona comes from their background in Theatre Arts

[noodles-and-tea]

:(

[idiocy-for-idiots]

I swear if another ad for Bump or another online app where all your friends, and not, can see where you are pops up today... like. Stop. I ain't tellin everyone I know where I am! I believe the right to lie about position is one of the last things we can actually lie about. But noooo, they need to know that I was at home for the whole weekend, it's fundemental.

[achillesinhighheels]

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

hamlet’s “i did love you once” and ophelia’s “indeed, my lord, you did make me believe so” is such an underrated gut punch. it’s betrayal it’s heartbreak it’s vulnerability it’s so over. truly no one is doing it like shakespeare

[henstomper]

dude it's just politics, it doesn't matter. all it does is shape every single aspect of the society you live in from the second you are born until forever

[idiocy-for-idiots]

in the middle of the school day looking at whatever Nora has been saying and just letting y’all know that if Jeremy dies I will die with him

[greelin]

“why’s he whimpering like that” do you ask why the sun shines? why birds sing? why you can simply pick a grape off of a vine and eat it?

[nasa]

That's us, together.

While we're looking up at the Artemis II astronauts journeying to the Moon, they're looking back home at us. 

In this image, Earth peeks through the capsule window, reminding us that a view like this relies on the ingenuity and hard work of countless people back home.

In the second image, we see our home planet as a whole, lit up in spectacular blues and browns. A green aurora even lights up the atmosphere.

Follow the Artemis II astronauts on their journey to the Moon:

[ladydisdain5]

Every once in a while it hits me that Shane and Ilya don't have any photos from the first decade or so of their relationship. Like they have the professional ones from the commercial that Ilya manages to track down, and he also saved the ones from the award show, but they have nothing that's just... them. Nothing to show their kids, or their grandkids. Nothing to record who they've been and who they've cared about and eventually loved since they were teens. The world made them hide, and they did. They did it so well. They were safe, but they were also invisible. Almost nonexistent, despite the spotlight on them. And I'm just imagining once they're another decade or two older and the memories that are already a bit fuzzy at the edges with time blur and fade a little bit more, and suddenly one of them realizes they can't remember exactly what they said, or the exact sequence of events that one time, and they'll be hit with that grief all over again. Thankful that they were safe enough to make it to this point, but mourning that it took erasing each other to do so

[doianphotoart]

"Son... You're a Josten now?"

[theparadigmshifts]

evangelicals being like "god made men to do This and be like This and women to do That and be like That that's just how it is" and it's just a picture of a white man and woman following traditional gender norms makes me so insane like you boring fascist fucks. god made 2 million species of beetles. god made whales, ducks, humans, and 1500 other species capable of same sex behavior. god made fish and amphibians that change sexes. god made more than 30 different intersex variations in human beings. god, in his infinite curiosity. wake up!!! fuck!!

[theparadigmshifts]

"god wants women to have perfect no-makeup makeup looks and stay at home not talking back and upholding capitalism" god??? that guy who made lizards that shoot blood out of their eyes?? that guy who made salmon do whatever the fuck that is?? are you fucking crazy???

[shadowhunter9210]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

NEIL “I’M FINE” JOSTEN!!!!

🥳🥳🦊🧡🤍

miss you so so much🥺🫶🏼

(Credits to the artists🧡)

[ashoss]

dont even fucking TALK to me.