i don't know nothin

check out my sideblog at howdoyousayghibli

[thememedaddy]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

[lmaonade]

hi guys i not even tired at all :) *slips on a banana’s peel and slides directly into my bed under the blankets and

[teaboot]

dear god the comfy got them

[sexysilverstrider]

the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

[medusasstory]

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

[tokkibean]

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

[harpyharpyharpy]

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[nattousan]

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE 

[andorology]

brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed

[kestrel-tree]

It's because the writer communicates their feelings for them. If people wanna pull that off in real life they need to hire a guy to walk around behind them narrating.

[bananonbinary]

#can i be the guy#ill narrate SO incorrectly#theyll all learn how to talk for themselves just to shut me up (via @cirrus-grey)

i'm loving the implication that this isn't something they hired you for, but something you'd do as some sort of public service.

[ahedderick]

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

[cuddledhormone]

When your art skills can’t keep up with your kiddo’s new interests

[shabbytigers]

in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

[shabbytigers]

hi this tag perfectly encapsulates the FML coefficient of my life as a non-german speaker living in germany and i’m going to frame it

[triangular-doggo]

ⓘ Im anerkannten Kurort Bad Schnitzel ist das Betreiben öffentlicher Bordelle nicht gestattet.

ⓘ In the officially recognized spa town of Bad Schnitzel, the operation of public brothels is not permitted.

[drueginger]

Folks, it has happened again on another job I applied for.

[discoursedrome]

[pumpkinspicebluntwrap]

[aflo]

/r/CheetahTooHigh

[sealsandlacenet]

yo bro.. you gonna eat this one..?

[aomitois]

rb and tag your favorite song that's not in english, japanese or korean

[redstonedust]

its fun to remember we can use the big text if we want. bonjour motherfuckers. i'm posting loud as hell now.

[doggirlcomet]

[redstonedust]

hey everypony. can you direct me to the nonfiction birding books. thanks.

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[paranormal-taters]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD

[janmisali]

oh I know how to make a poll's results look like the letter E watch this

what is the rightmost digit of the number of responses this poll has right now? (it should be visible before you vote.)

0, 1, or 2

3

4 or 5

6

7, 8, or 9

Remaining time: 5 days 5 hours