uno @iliuno - Tumblr Blog

shanebug photo album circa '91-93

you know Ilya is clutching his chest from the cuteness aggression

Laughing my ass off thinking about the cottage bedroom sex scene because Ilya is lying there completely lost in the fucking sauce no thoughts head empty mouth open eyes half closed on another plane of existence while Shane mid-sex is like Okay it's time for an existential conversation about how we ended up together. And expects Ilya to seriously engage him. Meanwhile Ilya is like woaw I think I hauve covid

semiconductiveshanehollander

people talking about hollanov like shane is the only one from a rich household like let’s get a grip actually

#favorite

kaijuerotica

that part where shane scores a goal and just kinda squares his shoulders and says "yes!" instead of a full celly. that's shaneybug to me

penandinkprincess

I'm already thinking about the timeline reveal in the CCM Shallergies 'verse, like-

Yuna: "So, when?"

Shane: "... the whole time, basically."

Yuna: "The whole time?? Since you were, what, seventeen?"

Shane & Ilya: "No no no-"

Shane: "Since the CCM shoot, when I ended up in the hospital and we exchanged numbers."

Yuna: "When you-" (pauses to remember) "... you weren't really watching a rerun of an old hockey game in July, were you?"

Ilya: "No, water bottle was a lie."

Shane, warningly: "Ilya."

Ilya: "What actually happened-"

Shane: "ILYA."

Ilya: "-is we kissed very chastely like Disney characters and then held hands for several minutes until Shane started dying-"

Shane, defeated: "Ilya."

Ilya, encouraged: "-and that is actually all we have ever done! Only a few kisses. Maybe ten in the whole time we've known each other. It has mostly been hand-holding. Nothing else ever."

Shane: "Ilya, I swear to god."

David: "I'm pretty sure I saw an ass grab earlier, kiddo."

Ilya: "No, no, that must have been distortion through the glass, like when pencils break in water but not really. That has never happened, David."

Shane, even more defeated: "Ilya..."

Ilya, even more encouraged: "Shane and I are actually waiting for marriage."

Yuna: "There was also that TMZ article that blew up about you and your Reddit sexts thread last summer, Ilya."

Ilya: "Yuna the internet was lying :("

ilya, has not willingly step foot in a church since he was like. seven.: "i am very strict russian orthodox. i do not believe even in holding hands before marriage."

"ilya, you do not-"

"are you the russian orthodox person here, hollander? no. ✋ do not explain my beliefs to me."

lavenderprose

Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.

huliajelena

i don’t think i can keep pretending i don’t like you anymore

stardustpainter

Ilya trying to outplay his demons

taurzza

Marigold

+ speedpaint

gimmiekiss1221

shane and ilya are hanging out at the pike's house when that interview with dj khaled talking about not going down on women comes out. it comes up as a suggested article on ilya's phone [he's a huge gossip in my sandbox] and he reads it out loud, scoffing as he does.

"imagine not wanting to eat your own wife out. how very sad. too bad i am a happily taken man now, i would have helped her back then."

shane rolls his eyes and elbows him. "oh my god ilya, shut up." but there's a smile on his face as he says it. they look at each other and laugh before kissing quick and sweet.

ilya looks over at the pikes and notices jackie giving hayden a look, while he has crossed his arms and is staring at the ground. it clicks for ilya immediately.

"pike, please do not tell me that you are also this neglectful to your missus?? she gives you four babies and you cannot eat her pussy?!? jackie, rybka, i am so sorry about this. i know many men who will do this for you, and are also much better hockey players."

"you better shut the fuck up rozanov!!! and besides, you're a piece of shit for talking about eating pussy when you're with a MAN who is sitting right next to you!!!"

ilya shrugs. "what, you think he does not know that i was with women before we got together?"

hayden huffs and glares at him like he's trying to kill him with his eyes.

"and besides," ilya begins, a wide smirk spreading across his face.

"ilya..." shane softly warns.

he pretends he didn't hear anything as he leans forward in his seat. "i happily eat shanya's pussy too. any chance i get. i thank him for giving me the privilege. is an honor."

"ilya!" shane shrieks, his face turning beet red as he covers it with his hands.

jackie bursts out laughing, and hayden genuinely looks like he might throw up.

ilya just grins like the smug little fucker that he is