What Is Sadness? @ilivetocauseagony - Tumblr Blog

“It’s been a while since I’ve been this low. It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to cut. It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to free base. It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to end it all…but tonight that’s all I want.”

— Inner thoughts

karma-is-dead

You ruined me.

You ruined me forever. Who I was who I could be. I will never be able to unfeel what you did to me or forget it. You ruined me and I don’t know how to fix it….

disorders

i do this really cute thing where i shut down and hate everybody

perpetuallypeachy

Don’t tell me to “calm down” Don’t say, “it isn’t that serious” Don’t repeatedly say “just relax” I have panic disorder, IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT. Chemical imbalances are real, and I can’t control when my mind is thrown out of whack. I can not control when my body goes into fight or flight mode. What you can do: Distract me by watching a funny movie, go on a walk with me, talk about a book you’re reading, or we can even bake some cookies. Never tell a person with anxiety that it’s not that serious, because mentally they feel like they’re in a life threatening situation.

imagine-loki

Imagine:

Being a loner. You refuse to get close to anyone, due to the several events/situations that had taken place throughout your life.

You’d rather be alone, than to be left hurt or disappointed, for that matter. It just makes life simpler. You perform as the average person would. You work, you cook, you eat, you sleep, etc. And you always keep to yourself. You never attempt to get close to another, for several reasons, as well as the fact that you do not trust, easily. You only communicate with others, when and if needed (coworkers, customers, clerks, management, etc). This leaves little room for conversation (that isn’t required), or the opportunity to form a relationship. One peculiar day, Loki (unbeknownst to you) takes an interest in your reserved and distant nature. Gradually, he attempts to build some sort of ’friendship’ with you. Once you become aware of his intentions, you decide to put an end to it, stating that you don’t need friends, as It’s just a waste of time and energy. However, as the two of you proceed to discuss the matter, Loki manages to reveal a part of you that he thought to be impossible.

Keep reading

the--girl--in--yellow

I wonder what drives you to break my heart every time I let it out of its cage

serpentsangel

Do you ever feel like you know so many people, yet somehow still feel extremely lonely because it feels like they don’t value you as much as you value them and it hurts because there’s nothing you can do.

The more you try to get with them, the feeling of annoyance creeps in and you just stop yourself midsentance, erasing an entire message.

You end up just sitting there, looking up at your ceiling or staring at your phone just waiting for something. A vibration of your phone. A ding from a notification and when nothing comes, you feel the true emptiness sink in and it makes you think all these thoughts.

Am I a good enough person? Am I too annoying? Am I a decent enough friend to be known?

And you end up lying there, not having the motivation to do anything. The loneliness keeping you glued to your spot.

That’s me, every single night.

ifthenightcouldtalk

“Realizing that you are no ones first choice will break you. Feeling like an outsider amongst a crowd of people you would die for will wreck you. Understanding that you have no one to turn to when you’re excited or upset will tear you apart. Recognizing how truly alone you are will ruin you unlike anything else.”

— Trust me. I know.

ashhlaghari1-deactivated2018102

“Sometimes I get a feeling that nobody is right for me. There is no one out there who’s energy suits mine. That makes me sad because, I want to feel the love, I’ve been giving to everyone else.”

:]

imatterdonti

“No one ever hears me. No one ever sees me. Every time I reach out, I feel like I’m smacking into a glass barrier. I’m yelling but they won’t look up. With no way to cry out, I know what it means to feel "trapped in my own mind”.

Things I wish I could say out loud

street-existentialist

“A great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passerbys only see a wisp of smoke.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

infpissues

I just wanted to see if anyone else experiences this as well. So throughout my whole life i have never felt ‘understood’? I’ve never felt 100% comfortable telling anyone anything even till this day there is so much stuff i keep to myself. Even from my best friends who I’ve known for over 5 years…something in me just feels like even though they would tell me anything i feel like i can’t do the same? I’ve always had different interests as them and sometimes when i’m around them i catch myself thinking ‘what am i doing here? I’m not like them i’m just fooling myself i don’t belong here’ but then other times we’re having so much fun and i can’t believe i’d ever even think i don’t belong in our group. I just feel so alienated from people sometimes. I don’t know maybe it’s just me who is the problem maybe i just expect to get more from people because i would give them anything without thinking twice about it but i guess some people just can’t because that’s just who they are. It just sucks because they aren’t to blame they are good friends it’s just me who is looking for more, a deeper connection that i can’t seem to find with anyone.

melaninboy

HIGH SCHOOLERS ‼️‼️ COMMUNITY COLLEGE IS OKAY!!

Please don’t ever let anyone shame you for attending.

avenger-nerd-mom

4 year college isn’t for everyone… Do what’s right for you

amazonx

Sometimes you need a little prep work, and a 2 year school can help. I did it!

anais-ninja-bitch

if you aim for it, you will get a much better education for a lot less money. i had profs in grad school impressed by what i learned at community college.

absentlyabbie

community college is just as good as getting those first two years at a 4 year school, but hella cheaper and with built in scholarships to transfer to associated universities, and if you’re just trying to get the aa/aas (2yr) degree that’s gonna put you in a decent job with benefits and not in school loan debt, community college is where it is fucking a t my friends. it is not some mark of failure or low standards or a sign that you’re just not good enough or smart enough or blah blah blah. it’s just you getting shit done. so go to a damn community college, get your shit done, and live your life well.

melifair

I did the community college and transfer to university route, and it was honestly the best decision I could have made for myself.

I knew that I would be overwhelmed af going straight into a university. It was like getting in the shallow end of the pool and swimming over to the deep end rather than jumping right in the deep end.

For someone like me, who is VERY introverted, it was a good path for me. It might not be the path for everyone. But the point is, it’s ok to know exactly what you are ok with and taking the right path for yourself, regardless of the pressure to go full force into something you know would be too much at first.