no more cupcakes @illegalcupcakes - Tumblr Blog

I desperately need y'all to see this scam bot I just got:

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

forcekenobi

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

hyperchaotix

icarus-suraki

orteil42

social media sites should let you add custom buttons on your profile. like maybe you get max 3 buttons and they can have whatever text you want. and each button has its own persistent counter for how many times it's been clicked. here's some concept art

bramblepatch

The person who made cookie clicker thinks we should all have buttons that you click and the numbers go up? You don't say.

victusinveritas

Peter Brookes, London Times.

treeen

[ID: A political cartoon. The image is divided in two. On the right, the Artemis II mission is taking off towards the moon in a clear sky. On the right, missiles are raining on a city on fire, presumably in Iran. On the left upper cadran, there is the quote "Humanity has once again shown what we are capable of..." by an Artemis crew member. End ID]

scoes

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

scoes

That and the monkey barrrsssss

ourskiesaboveus

actually, caesar was stabbed 60 times. it just looked like 23 because, after the tumblr update,

infectiouspiss

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

infectiouspiss

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

infectiouspiss

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

infectiouspiss

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

lourainwoods-in-the-woods

infectiouspiss

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

staff

Don’t get stuck doing math on your Dashboard!

Note counts now increment automatically. Have a nice weekend!

lizardsmp3

i'm gonna keep it real with u guys i don't think we're ever becoming the new pdf like this

asexualbrigadier

big shout out to tumblr for being the first major site in like two years to implement an ill-advised "feature" nobody wants, likes or respects that doesn't involve AI

poughkeepsiesjr

perfect website. no notes ❤️

gmbencompetence

GEORGE: [ABRUPTLY, AFTER SILENCE] “I mean, I feel like I understand trans people.”

[JERRY STARES AT GEORGE FROM ACROSS THE TABLE IN CONFUSION AND DISBELIEF FOR SEVERAL SECONDS]

JERRY: “You understand trans people?”

GEORGE: “Is that so hard to believe?”

JERRY: “I find it hard to believe you understand yourself.”

GEORGE: “But that’s kind of my point, see. When one life isn’t working out, you can just try to find one that does. You’re doing your best as Danny, things aren’t going great… [GEORGE CLAPS HIS HANDS FOR EMPHASIS]… give it a second go as a Deborah.”

JERRY: “Like a do-over.”

GEORGE: “A do-over.”

JERRY: [PICKS UP COFFEE CUP] “I don’t think that’s what’s going on.” [DRINKS COFFEE]

GEORGE: [COMPLETELY IGNORING THIS] “And I get that. I really do. Because things have never worked out for George. George has never been able to stick the landing. But Georgina? [HE CHUCKLES CONFIDENTLY] Georgina’s going places.”

JERRY: “Georgina.”

GEORGE: “It’s a work in progress.”

JERRY: “Ya know, I think that the trans community is facing enough challenges without you being in the mix.”

GEORGE: “What, are you implying they’re too good for me?”

JERRY: “Not implying, no.”