books ‘n stuff

I read a lot but i’m still stupid.

[illiterarcy]

the marauders as shit i’ve said to my friends pt 1:

james: wait- do dolphins have tits?

lily: *abruptly leaves the house with harry and takes the car*

-

remus: hey i got this new book-

*random people walk past having a conversation to themselves*

remus [very quietly to himself]: hey can you shut the hell up i’m trying to talk about a really neat-o book. anyway-

-

Peter: oh okay. Well, i’m gonna go touch that moth now. bye.

-

marlene: why do you have a tiny dinosaur toy in your backpack?

sirius: his name is stigman and he’s my emotional support squeaky toy. *gently squeaks him*

-

sirius: ya know. no one could stop me from having pet worms.

remus: *visibly concerned*

-

peter: i swear to god if you look at my toes one more time, i’m gonna physically turn you into a jigsaw puzzle.

-

James: trust me. i can handle this. i’m an athlete. *proceeds to trip over sidewalk edge*

[illiterarcy]

HELLO????

it’s been SO long since i posted on here- i literally forgot about this app because ya know

✨existence is hard✨

but i’m probably definitely gonna post all sorts of bs about any book i’ve ever liked ever.

enjoy. *hands you a plate of literal burning trash*

[illiterarcy]

Me, a person who has tried for a very long time to convince themself that they aren’t their past. That they’ve improved as a person and aren’t the bad things they tell themself. Sat up for entire nights reflecting and cringing at their past, horrified of stuff they’ve they’ve done. Spent a year in therapy to develop proper coping mechanisms, to defeat their internal demons and demolish self hatrid and loathing*: :)

Old woman in my neighborhood talking to her grandkid after seeing me: promise me you’ll never date someone like that.

Me: :(

[foxydodo]

Best hits of Cartman✨

[illiterarcy]

I DEADASS THOUGHT THIS WAS PIGGY, JACK, SIMON AND RALPH FROM LORD OF THE FLIES.

Also, I forgot I had this app and opened it for the first time in months... to THIS.

[illiterarcy]

My therapy dog just peed on the mall floor. <3

[illiterarcy]

I swear to God this is just Ralph and Piggy.

[illiterarcy]

Mr. Samsa: *grabs an apple*

Gregor:

[illiterarcy]

If Simon were here, I wouldn’t feel so sad :(

[illiterarcy]

I’m trying to clean my closet but I have too many stuffed animals... Send help-

[illiterarcy]

What the boys do during quarantine

Ralph: Focuses in schoolwork as hard as possible, stays inside, sits on Instagram and TikTok for 11 hours a day

Piggy: educates himself on every aspect of the virus, diligently does schoolwork, texts Ralph rants about his neighbors breaking quarantine

Jack: doesn’t stay inside, meets up with friends, doesn’t wear a mask and makes fun of everyone who does

Simon: avoids the news because it makes him sad, plays Animal Crossing 24/7, goes for walks at night

Samneric: fight over the TV remote, frequently interrupts their Moms Zoom work meetings, settle on a puzzle and then never finish it

Roger: murders his parents probably??

[mimis-memes-meme]

Guys are all “ohhh what I would do to you”

Me *thinking this is what they want to do:

Me:...fuck yeah

[illiterarcy]

Maurice: I’ve just been bitten by a snake!!!

Piggy: quick! Elevate it and apply pressure!

Maurice: [lift snake into air] Why did you bite me! That’s not nice!

[illiterarcy]

Ralph

[illiterarcy]

“Horrible kids

Would you look what you did

It was your ignorance

That formed a beast with your wit.

Horrible kids, horrible kids, horrible kids

Look what you did!”

-Horrible Kids// Set It Off

[illiterarcy]

Should I turn this account into a classic literature blog? So, LotF would still obviously show up but also I’d include some other dumb stuff and shit posts about other works of literature as well!

[illiterarcy]

LotF but that’s Piggy

[illiterarcy]

Maurice: I cut my finger!

Piggy: Just put pressure on it..

Maurice: Look, if you don’t get a job your family will starve!