(a)pathetic @illuminaughtot - Tumblr Blog

pippin-the-chicken

fondafeeling

Very important birb.

regal-daktarii

birb want snaggle

afniel

Nope. Not allowed to use the mouse. Got to use the peep peep birb now. It’s the new rules.

dankmemeuniversity

bunjywunjy

Why do seals have nails? I just saw an aquarium video and they are. Serious

fun fact, those actually aren’t nails! those are full-on CLAWS.

seal claws are razor-sharp and can be several inches long! they’re the seal’s main defense against sharks, and they work pretty well because not even a 12-foot-long great white likes to be clawed directly in the eyeball by what is, if we are truly honest with ourselves, basically just an aquatic bear.

there are plenty of sharks out there who came in from the wrong angle and ended up losing an eye for it- seal scars are very distinctive and are the mark of an unwary predator who bit off more than it could chew!

previouslysane-archive

a harry potter au where everything is exactly the same except harry’s glasses have transition lenses

deathdaydreamm

forlovefromfear

Would never have been allowed to happen. JKR is categorically against transition.

the-august-one

mycroftrh

When I was about 4 or 5, my dad worked in software implementation (installing very complicated programs for entire companies, basically). And sometimes when people had a problem with the program, they’d call my dad.

If he wasn’t in the room, I was assigned to answer the house phone and say “Hello, Edward will be here in jutht a moment,” in my high-pitched lisp typically described by family members as “elfin”, and then yell for my dad. Then I’d listen to him walking them through the issue because I found it interesting.

One time my dad went in for a meeting with the CEO of a large company, like, one you’ve heard of, and the CEO said “Oh, by the way, your assistant is amazing! Fixed my problem immediately."

After some very subtle investigative work - because if the CEO of a billion dollar company is pleased you don’t answer with ‘wtf are you talking about’ - he determined that what happened was the following:

The CEO called my dad at a very odd time of day, because rich people are like that.

The phone was answered by an elfin, lisping voice, which said “Hello, I’m thorry, Edward ithn’t here right now. Can I help you?”

“…okay, do you thee the power button? Can you rethtart the computer? …that means turning it off.”

Five minutes later, the CEO hung up, very pleased that an elf with a speech impediment had fixed his million-dollar software.