fruit and fresh bread

im a dumb biology nerd w/ a fetish for green and a resignation to engineering

[diaryofandnwoman]

[icantspellthings]

Today is the day I'm finally going to watch episode 2 of the star trek porn

[icantspellthings]

My girl Uhura got a new hair cut

[icantspellthings]

I fucking love the dialogue man

Bones: I'm no geologist Jim but I bet those are mining waste. Spock: Precisely, doctor

[icantspellthings]

oh my god even the environmental set? girl the budget

[icantspellthings]

This actually feels more high budget than the first one, incredible. I guess the first one was a critical success

[icantspellthings]

Spock and Bones trapped in a prison togther....I've read fanfics about this....and now they're bickering....

[icantspellthings]

they're going to interrogate them for "information"

Bones: I'm a doctor not a soldier, he's the one with all the information [points at spock] Spock: *eyebrow raise*

way to throw spock under the bus bones! ughh

[icantspellthings]

Bones all sad in the corner of the jail cell while the butterfly aliens interrogate Spock

[icantspellthings]

not him going "fascinating" as they're sucking his dick??? literally totally ignoring them and just looking at their butterfly wings 😭😭😭

[icantspellthings]

Bones is just gloomily sitting there and frowning in a corner watching them fuck? this is so sad

[icantspellthings]

somebody come save bones please he's in a porn and he didn't even get to do any fucking

[icantspellthings]

Chekov and Sulu!!!! Love that Chekov is doing the russian accent but why is Sulu british 😭

[icantspellthings]

Chekov and Sulu caught Scotty having sex with Uhura instead of manning the transporter room. I can feel the silent judgement from their faces

[icantspellthings]

Scotty was too busy thinking about sex and THATS why he sent Sulu and Chekov to the Oval office instead of the planet???😭 girl the plot??

well I guess it's now JFK and Marilyn Monroe porn

[icantspellthings]

Sulu and Chekov are just hiding in the closet watching JFK and Marilyn fuck

[icantspellthings]

CHEKOV YOU BITCH DONT MESS WITH THE TIMELINE!!!! he's going to tell JFK he's going to get shot omfg CHekov dont do it!!!! you're going to change history NOOOOO

[icantspellthings]

alien queen lady is very enamored with Kirk and wants to make him a king to rule with her and conquer the galaxy together

[icantspellthings]

ahh Kirk fucked her to get the launch codes to her rockets that makes so much sense. And now he's using the alien communicator (a silver dildo) to tell them to disarm and release the prisoners. what a tried and true star trek plot

[icantspellthings]

and they're back on the ship trek happy ending yayyyyy

[icantspellthings]

oh my fucking god?? The timeline got fixed because JFK did get shot in the head but just not by a sniper, Jackie caught him fucking Marilyn and shot JFK in the head?? 😭😭😭😭

this is so fucking funny

[icantspellthings]

Spock: His love for this country made him a great president, yet his lust for a woman cost him his life, fascinating Kirk: We humans are full of unpredictable emotions that logic alone can't solve, and I predict that you Mr. Spock is becoming more human day by day [grabs spocks arm]

HELLO?? this is a PORN why is the dialogue SO fucking GOOD nothing as star trek as trying to shove the president of America into an episode

[icantspellthings]

and in the end Bones didn't even get to fuck any alien girls....

[icantspellthings]

I can't believe I'm saying this about porn but the first movie was better. This sequel kinda not that great. The plot made even less sense than the first one.

[ralfmaximus]

Thank you for your service.

[trexinacorset]

Sometimes you just need to know the answer to the question.

[toboldlynerd]

[woyseck]

Possession (1981) dir. Andrzej Zulawski 💀🪽Korean re-release poster

[monsieurenjlolras]

No one ever: I hate Ellen DeGeneres.

[monsieurenjlolras]

Checking in eleven years later folks and it does seem like I was hugely wrong on this one. a BIG my bad to everybody involved

[naggingatlas]

chAAAinnnnn walletz. shirts wiv Jack ssSSkellingtin that. bBoney Boney! BOYYyh :D Hau would you like to see! 👀 a INNNNN 🤤🥵flux of customehrs *big breath* SOLELY due to the ssssUDDEN rrRRrRR(😖🥵🥵🫨🤤🤤🤤👅🫦)RApid SUc-- 💦💦💦💦💥💥🤯😵-------cess 😮‍💨 Of. HAZZBEEN HOE-TELwe're!!!!!BACK !!!!!Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaallll the freaky little "𝕲𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖘" who smellllllike 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒐 Baaaaaaags Cummmm Trudging Thru our DOhwrs once more........... """ehdventure Tiiiiime""" ? eKhHhHN HN HMMM~~~ >:]]] 😈🦹🏻‍♂️ SPENNNNDINNNG TIIIIIME YOU SAUCY MINXXXXAH!

[cookiethebirddoll]

Dusly, thusly, I am cleaning most dustly!

[cookiethebirddoll]

Dust is the enemy!

[cookiethebirddoll]

The Milady has told this one to kill, kill, and kill!

[tamamoland]

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[flowersfromunderground]

Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u

[ri5k]

[sisyphusshrugged]

[amygdalae]

Sometimes I get paranoid if I post about the weather in too much detail I'll get doxxed somehow

[amazoogle]

not an unreasonable fear at all actually

[firstfullmoon]

Alex Dimitrov

[worstgirlintheworld]

rip to the realest ❤️

[feignedremote]

This one is even better imo

[grimelords]

There’s six guys who live in this flat and all they do all day is play WoW and watch movies. Waking up at 2pm every day and there’s always just someone asleep on the bed near all the multimonitor computer setups. There’s always music playing and it feels like a recovery day every day, padding around blearily in pyjamas or underwear. Old hoodies from defunct school teams. They’ve got this system where they’re selling their excess computing power to companies and hosting all this warez, and they’re stealing the internet from the business next door anyway and getting welfare on top of all that. They’re self sufficient and never go outdoors except to buy more fast food, and even then only in the dark. But then one of them wakes up dead some heavy afternoon. He’s just dead and they don’t know why but maybe the floor covered in fast food wrappings is a clue. They don’t want to tell the cops because of the purgatory den they live in and the illegality that supports it, and as far as they know he never had any actual parents. So it’s trouble. It’s taking a long trip out to the forest and thinking about how stars are so far away for the first time in a long time. It’s sweating in the cold air and digging a hole all night with your brand new shovels to leave him alone in. And it’s a long few days cracking all his passwords to keep his identity and associated payments persisting. Until the rhythm of waking up every day at 2pm to play WoW for nine hours and half watch a movie on your other monitor takes over again. It’s the same as it ever was except now there’s a room no one ever goes in.

[pallegina]

*uses an em dash and a colon in the same sentence* we're done when i say we're done.

[staud]

I am what God made me. And perhaps it is my difference that will make me useful. I think again of your sermon. I know what it is to exist between the world’s certainties.

CONCLAVE (2024)

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

You guys need to see this because my brain has decided "have you heard of seventy dollars??" is a widely known meme I can reference regularly (it is not)